As salamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
Al hamdu Lillah, that your three beautiful children have received the best of nourishment by the grace that is Allah (SWT). Dear sister, allay your fears, because it is less common, but not abnormal for there to be a change in size in the manner that you describe. As women, we always want to look our best, but when that best becomes the focus of attention, and a woman is seen only for her physical beauty, then she is susceptible to not being seen as anything more than that. When our physical appearance becomes all important, we take away attention from our spiritual development and how we realte to others. When it comes to your husband, the more you place attention upon what you consider to be "missing", the more likely that the object of your attention, becomes a source of ill-content.
Prophet Muhammed (SAW) gave the following advice:
"Sa'id b. Musayyib reported: Mu'awiya came to Medina and he addressed us and he took out a bunch of hair and said: What do I see that one of you does but that what the Jews did? (I can well recall) that when this act (adding of artificial hair) reached Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him), he named it as cheating" (Muslim 24: 5308).
The above ahadith (tradition/teaching of Prophet Muhammad (SAW), may not reflect your concern, but it does illustrate a basic principal. And that is one against deception.
A mother who was concerned for her daughter went to Prophet Muhammad and said:
"I have married my daughter (whose) hair of head have fallen. Her spouse likes them (the long hair). Allah's Messenger (may add false hair to her head? He forbade her to do this" (Muslim 24: 529).
In this ahadith, the same principal against deception is demonstrated in a similar context to yours, that is the spouse's preference.
In todays, world it might seem a bit cruel, because in todays world, too much ios based upon appearance, and from this much deceit and corruption ensues. Once one is willing to go down one path of deceit, other paths open, even if the original act of deceit was a personal one. The more calm and accepting that you can be with what is right on the road to honesty, openess and acceptance, then other more rewarding channels of communication open up.
"And surely I will lead them astray, and surely I will arouse desires in them, and surely I will command them and they will cut the cattle's ears, and surely I will command them and they will change Allah's creation. Whoso chooseth Shaytan for a patron instead of Allah is verily a loser and his loss is manifest" (An-Nisaa' 4: 119)
In Islam, when it comes to plastic/cosmetic surgery of any kind, the scale weighs in the balance of duress. In other words, need out of suffering is the condition under which one may have plastic/cosmetic surgery. If, it is the case, that your marriage is at risk because of what you complain, then it is allowable. But be mindful of distinguishing between what causes suffering, and anxiety based on ones desires. Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid tells us:
"There are cosmetic surgical procedures which are haram and are not considered to be excusable; these are seen as tampering with the creation of Allah for the sake of beauty.Examples include: breast enlargement or reduction, and procedures aimed at reversing the signs of ageing, such as face-lifts etc. The Islamic view is that these are not permitted, because there is no urgent need or necessity for them; rather, the aim is to change and tamper with the creation of Allah for reasons of human vanity".
Choose this as an opportunity to strengthen the bond of your relationship with your husband throught he kind of emotionally intimacy that will help you rise above appearances, and reach through to each others hearts to the extent that you are both beautiful to each other, regardless of how you look.
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Greater Self Awareness
Of ones self and ones spouse, how one thinks, reacts, gives, what makes one sad prevents build-up of negative emotions.
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Like a stream full of debris and rocks, the flow of the stream becomes blocked.
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Wipe the slate clean of resentment by tackling present issues, now!
Support each other to take risks that help each other realizes their potential.
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Change should be welcomed, because it helps your marriage to grow and for the both of you to grow as individuals.
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Don’t fear your spouses growth, but develop balance by learning and growing yourself.
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Do not understaimate the power of a look, a touch, compassion and heart felt words sister.
For your further guidance, please try the following link:
• Expressions of Love
• The Whisper, the Look and the Touch: The Language Between Spouses
• Carrying out Cosmetic Surgery
• Islamic View of Breast Augmentation
