Thanks to Allah for your sharing with us your concerns, brother. Your situation is a common one that is faced in various communities that consider a wedding is not a wedding unless one spends a ridiculous amount on the wedding celebration. For those who cannot really afford it, but feel obliged due to the pressure of social customs, this can be a great burden. It would be wonderful if more thought like you by trying to keep things in perspective when it comes to marriage and celebrating. The consequences often mean the couple pay the price for a few years, adding tension and conflict over money matters. For instance, it is not uncommon to find a dower of jewelry being pawned or sold after the event to help towards furnishings or to simply help make ends meet. Financial matters then become the focus of the marriage instead of the development of a healthy and balanced relationship. The example of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) can guide you.

• Narrated Anas:The Prophet stayed for three days at a place between Khaibar and Madinah, and there he consummated his marriage with Safiyya bint Huyay. I invited the Muslims to a banquet which included neither meat nor bread. The Prophet ordered for the leather dining sheets to be spread, and then dates, dried yogurt and butter were provided over it, and that was the walimah (banquet) of the Prophet . (Al-Bukhari 7:2 #89)
• Narrated Anas:The Prophet did not give a better wedding banquet on the occasion of marrying any of his wives than the one he gave on marrying Zainab, and that banquet was with (consisted of) one sheep. (Al-Bukhari 7:62 #97)
• When Umm Salama provided the walimah for Prophet Muahmmad (peace and blessings be upon him) on the marriage to Zainab, Anas bin Malik said: I found the house crowded with people and saw the Prophet keeping his hand over the haisa and saying over it whatever Allah wished (him to say). Then he called the men in batches of ten to eat of it, and he said to them, "Mention the Name of Allah, and each man should eat of the dish the nearest to him." When all of them had finished their meals, some of them left and a few remained there talking, over which I felt unhappy. Then the Prophet went out towards the dwelling places (of his wives) and I too, went out after him and told him that those people had left. Then he returned and entered his dwelling place and let the curtains fall while I was in (his) dwelling place, and he was reciting the verses "O you who believe! Enter not the Prophet's house until leave is given you for a meal, (and then) not (as early as) to what for its preparation. But when you are invited, enter, and when you have taken your meals, disperse without sitting for a talk. Verily such (behavior) annoys the Prophet; and he would be shy of (asking) you (to go), but Allah is not shy of (telling you) the Truth" (Al-Ahzab 33:53). Abu Uthman said: Anas said, "I served the Prophet for ten years." (Al-Bukhari 7:62 #92)

Remember that the walimah declares the marriage publicly, but the later hadith also demonstrates the manner in which the walimah was held, with dhikr (remembrance of Allah Most High). In your case you are probably fearful of the social expectations that lead to a costly celebration, but with dhikr this helps the gathering to not only see the celebration in context, but to honor and accept the blessings and the source of those blessings without seeking more.  

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) advised the following:

• "Offer a wedding banquet even with one sheep." (Al-Bukhari 7:62 #85) 

• "The worst food is that of a wedding banquet to which only the rich are invited while the poor are not invited. And he who refuses an invitation (to a banquet) disobeys Allah and His Messenger." (Al-Bukhari 7:62 #106)

I pray that the above proves meaningful to you in some way and that you are better placed to decide your next course of action.

For your further guidance, please try the following links:

• Marriage Steps in Islam
• Islamic Style Wedding Celebrations, a Reality?
• I Am a Simple Man