First, you are not gay. What you have experienced is unfortunate, but it is not normal and, in fact, it is forbidden in Islam. At the age of puberty, a young boy or girl begins to discover his or her sexuality. It is quite normal to have intense sexual desires during the teenage years. Allah Most High has created human beings in such a way that some of the sexual energy dissipates through a phenomenon known as wet dreams. We are not held accountable for wet dreams because the entire experience falls within the realm of the involuntary or essentially during our sleep. However, what we are accountable for are all the actions we undertake while we are conscious. And unfortunately, due to the intense hormonal changes going on in the body, some teenagers are unable to cope and they resort to Islamically impermissible means of releasing their sexual tension. Allah Most High commands young people to remain chaste. It is best for your faith that you strive endlessly to resist the temptation by Satan to engage in premarital relationships.

Second, in your case, it is clear to us that you fell victim to a young boy inEgypt who has very sinful tendencies. By believing him that it was normal to engage in homosexual activities, you allowed yourself to experiment and, in the process, to release your sexual energy. It is our assertion, however, that you are still not a homosexual because we believe you are mistaken about what you actually experienced. Yes, you did experience a form of sexual satisfaction, but it is not because you are attracted to males. May it never come to be, but it is just as possible that you could have been seduced by or attracted to a female, with whom you would have engaged in premarital sexual activities. Being attracted to males is not normal and it is not from the fitrah (the pure state in which all human beings are created). You are, unfortunately, caught in a trap whereby you have experienced premarital sexual satisfaction, so now you are desperately trying to keep achieving that same satisfaction by any means available. You should know that watching pornographic movies is not the solution for your current dilemma. If anything, you are committing further sins by watching pornographic movies. The movies will stimulate you and you will seek to release that sexual energy. All of this is impermissible and very displeasing to Allah Most High. 

Finally, we urge you to make lots of du`aa’ to Allah and seek His forgiveness for the sins you have already committed. From this day onwards, we suggest strongly that you change your lifestyle to include ridding yourself of any and all pornographic media or any material which would cause you to be stimulated sexually. Writing to us could mark the turning point in your life. Even if you admit that you did not know before writing to us or that you were misled, after reading our response, it should be clear to you that you are not gay. You should stop telling yourself that you are gay and you should definitely take measures to stop focusing on your sexual desires. At age 15, you have your entire life ahead of you, and the decisions you make now will have a great impact on your future. Find constructive ways to occupy your time. Become involved in sports, exercise regularly, fast regularly, and take on some new hobbies. You owe it to yourself to turn back to Allah and to beg Him for forgiveness now. You are not gay; you were tested by Allah and you failed the test. This does not mean that there is no hope for you. Rather, failing the test has shown you that you have the tendency to fall victim to your sexual inclinations. Take great precaution from now on, and do everything in your power to avoid being in situations which could excite you or stimulate you. Do not be tempted by a chance to fulfill your sexual desires in an impermissible manner. Fight that temptation and seek refuge in Allah!

And Allah knows best.