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Last Update: 03:00 GMT, Tuesday, Dec. 01, 2009 |
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Family
> Cyber Counselor
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Name of Questioner
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- United States |
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Title
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The Muslim World Breaks My Heart
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Question
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As-salaamu alaykum,
I’m a college student living in the United States. When I see what’s happening to the Muslims all over the world, it really breaks my heart and I always want to do something. So I started with my own Muslim community here. A lot of people here are so divided for the same reasons, but I try hard to be equal with everyone and treat everyone with respect like brothers and sisters. But it’s been so hard, just because of my own personal issues.
I hate being so judgmental about my brothers and sisters here, but I honestly can’t help but have negative views about a lot of them from experience. Most of the people here aren’t that religious, and they aren't the nicest people. They are Masha-Allah privileged people (doctors, engineers etc), but they don’t act as educated people. And a lot of Muslims here are the type that either take the advantage of nice people or very little and it really hurts. All they want is to be more popular, or have more of a higher status , just materialistic reasons for living. I’m not saying that for all of them, but I haven’t met a lot that aren’t like that in this area. The thing that really hurts is that I’m really trying my best to be a sister to everyone. All I want is to help and encourage people to help. I send out emails to everyone here about Islam, about what’s going on to some of our brothers and sisters around the world like Palestine, so they can help. And Masha-Allah I think it has helped few people, but I hate the way that some of the people here treat each other and it makes me develop more anger towards them inside.
I don’t even like to go to the mosque masjid anymore because I just don’t like being around people who are so fake and treat nice religious people like they are nothing just because they actually have more deeper and more spiritual reasons for living instead of the materialistic reasons. So I feel like such a hypocrite for telling people how divided the Muslim world is now and how we should help, but then inside I feel hatred for a lot of the people here just because of the way they treat me and other people. Every time there are gatherings of Muslims here, like dinner parties, most of the time I end up crying when I go home. It’s not because people have directly said something mean by their actions or words (sometimes it is) but its mostly because it just saddens me to see the way people act with each other. I guess I am too sensitive about this issue and I let it get to me too much because there is just so much that I can do, then it’s just not in my hands anymore. It’s all up to Allah how these people act and if they will change themselves.
I guess it’s very hard for me to understand also why people want to hurt their own Muslim brothers and sisters especially over the silliest reasons I’ve ever heard of. But I don’t know how to help myself either. I get so worried all the time. I feel so out of place even when I’m with my Muslim brothers and sisters. I feel pretty awkward and uncomfortable. I've become kind of paranoid in a way because I think there’s always someone out there that’s going to take advantage of me again just because I'm nice and don't play stupid mind games with people to get what I want. Then I always think I’m being so fake because I act differently towards them than what I really think about them. and like i said, I don’t want to think badly of them in the first place, but I do. I try to let it go just for the sake of the Ummah but I still think about the situation when I’m alone. I’m worried about my future too, because this type of negative thinking really doesn’t help in dealing with people (especially ensha-Allah when I get married), and I mean I truly with all my heart love Islam and that’s the only thing that keeps me going. But I hope that you can give me some more advice on how I can help myself more when dealing with this situation because I don’t like how I get so sad over this issue way more than I should. Thanks.
As-salaamu alaykum
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| Date | 06/Dec/2005 |
| Name of Counsellor |
Samir Jerez |
| Topic | Self development |
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`As salamu alaykum, sister:
You seem to have the internal courage and awareness to recognize many of the shortcomings of people in general. While I can’t be for certain, the first guess one presumes when immigrating to the U.S. is not necessarily to seek Islamic knowledge. It appears more common that people emigrate from their lands to grasp the type of freedom that many times opens doors that are not helpful in trying to be surrounded by an Islamic environment. This is not to say that coming to the U.S. is a bad thing. However, we are taught that when we travel, we shall attain what we seek. So if emigration is for schooling, financial gain, freedom to be in an environment that supports an unIslamic behavior, then we shall attain such emmigration. It doesn’t help that the mosques masjids are usually have people attend that represent a significantly small number of the Muslim population in most cities. You observed something for which you think Allah (swt) dislikes.
Your frustrations are rational. Your inability to make a sweeping change would be less frustrating if you simply did what you are supposed to do, and leave the rest to Him. You aren’t to change those who have a choice. You leave the example(s) you can and let those who choose to follow provide you with the earned blessings as they are counted. If you do this for the sake of Allah (swt), and not for the people themselves, then this should also help.
I can assure you that you are not hypocritical in feeling the way you do about the situation(s) you encounter. Even in the face of crisis, the presence of sinful people, or people of other creeds, we have a responsibility to act as Muslims. Therefore, you think you are being hypocritical because you are not involved in stopping certain behaviors or correcting. You’re not faking, because you are expressing in Islamic manners. However, this is simply part of your frustration. It takes a great deal of strength to be this strong. This is a good thing.
`In sha'allah, you will gain wisdom as you move forward through your life to deal with circumstances such as those you face. This is part of your inner jihad (struggle). You seem to have what I call a “healthy paranoia” if it is paranoia at all.
To inform you of some insight; I share many of the frustrations, to include against myself. I discuss with many people who share similar experiences, but aren’t so vocal on a mass level. Therefore, it appears that few are aware. Be assured, people are aware, and are working for struggles of their own. Be more assure that Allah (swt) see all.
I wish you well in your journey to do his work.
For further guidance please refer to the following link:
• Islam: The Middle and the Moderate Path :
•A Man Thinks According to What He Is
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