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Last Update: 02:41 GMT, Thursday, Dec. 03, 2009

Family > Cyber Counselor

 

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Question and Answer Details

Name of Questioner

shaikh   - India

Title

Follow-Up: I’m In-between Jobs!

Question

As salamu ‘alaykum

 

I am very grateful for your kind suggestion for the question I had submitted earlier, but to put things simple and straight I will say that I ruined my career because of procrastination, lack of decision making, confusion and companionship of bad friends. My personal details are given in above submitted question. Yes this above mentioned disabilities have let me down completely, down in the eyes of my family members. I feel very ashamed of what I have done. I also know that now I cannot dwell more on it, and I have to come out of this stagnant situation. I regret not accepting help from others, and now I feel ashamed of to discuss my career with others because of my age. No one will believe me seriously I know. I am not sure of what to do.

 

I only seek the help of Allah(SWT).I prayed and performed Salat-ul Istikhara (prayer for guidance) with a firm belief that whatever door is shown I should enter, but again doubts surround me, and lead me into this grim state.

 

I would really appreciate your kind suggestion with a deep analysis on this hopeless situation. Kindly consider this question along with the question submitted earlier. kindly help me to repair my tarnished image and help me to find a place in the hearts of my beloved ones.

 

Regarding a career, I believe and gave a final call to the output of Salat-ul Istikhara, but these doubts still haunt me as to whether I would succeed or not. What should I do to overcome this situation?

 

With regards...

 

Jazakum-Allah-Khayrun

Date

05/Nov/2009

Name of Counsellor

Hwaa Irfan

Topic

Career & Family, Self development

Answer

As salamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dear brother…

 

The most important thing about any discovery about one’s self is realization, and once you have realized, rather than berate yourself, which will not do anyone any good, is to proactive about the change that is needed in order for what you have realized to be of benefit.

 

  • How many people who have reached middle age have found that even on choosing a career that they may have been successful in that they have spent their lives doing something that did not make them happy?

 

  • How many people who have been made redundant because of cut backs form their company, and find that they have to start all over again?

 

  • How many people whose lives have been turned upside down by the current global economic crisis, and have lost everything to find that are faced with having to start all over again?

 

 In other words, you are not alone at this point in your life. There are many seeking to do, what you have been trying to do, which is to provide for your family. Many of those people do not have the strong supportive family which you have, so you are starting again from a better off position in that sense. Say al hamdu Lillah!

 

Now you need to spend time determining what it is you want to do, but before that any job that can provide a halal income is perfectly acceptable. You can let your family know that this is intended to be a temporary situation, until you find something more meaningful insha-Allah. Make regular du’aa’ after your prayers, seeking His assistance and guidance, insha-Allah.

 

If you could look back, on when you were much younger, and life was more carefree, can you recollect what interested you and why. Sometimes, our talents come to us in different ways, but these natural born skills bequeathed by Allah (SWT) are good indications as how one should spend ones time. This could be your starting point on your road to self discovery, and finding a suitable occupation that is in line with your natural disposition, insha-Allah. At the same time, there are many project and charitable organizations, which are always in need of good volunteers. Try to find one with a wide variety of activities, as this will help you to explore what you are good at insha-Allah. What is also important is that you stop looking down on yourself, and that you maintain a positive disposition. This will help to make your burden feel lighter, and make you more able to seize any suitable opportunity, insha-Allah. Maintain your prayers on time, and use your time productively. If you find yourself in a situation whereby you are by yourself, do not allow yourself to descend into the vicious circle of negative thinking. Instead make yourself productive, helpful, supportive, and creative. In this way, you can aim to avoid any sort of depression. You have been blessed by being born into a supportive family, and I think your own family with your wife, have been pretty supportive too. You are blessed in this respect, so always give thanks to Allah (SWT), for this gift of life.

 

 

For further guidance, please try the following link(s):
Spiritual Detoxification Tool Box
Baby Steps to a Better Life
Unleashing Your Special Talents!

 

 

Survival  or Revival You & the Economic Crisis
   Revival or Survival: You and the Economic Crisis
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