As salamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatllahi wa barakatuh…

Jazaka Allah khayrun for writing in with this problem, but I am sure you can appreciate that this question should be re-submitted to Ask the Scholar, for scholarly guidance. You highlight a common phenomenon amongst Muslims today – that of selective adherence to the deen (Islamic life transaction) - may Allah protect us all from this behaviour and give us strength to fight the munkar (evil) insha-Allah; so that we may submit easily and completely to Allah (SWT)’s favours upon us.

The answer to your question is clear. The situation between your niece and this young man is completely unacceptable in Islam and must be discontinued. The fact that they are both Muslim and sharing a house during Ramadan does not reduce the wrong action in any way; rather it is sad to see that in spite of fasting they appeared to have been unaware that this is haram. By practicing the essential pillars whilst living in this situation is an affront to the deen, and clearly sends out the wrong message. We all have a responsibility to protect the deen through our behavior. This misrepresents the deen to non- Muslims and Muslims lacking knowledge.

In Islamic Shari’ah both the action and the intention must be correct – one can not justify and wrong action by a good niyyat (intentions).

Although I understand that poverty pushes one to act out of desperation, anyone who supports a haram way of life for money, (and Allah is The Sustainer, not the young man), or for any other reason, is directly accountable. We are told that our rizq (sustenance) was pre-written before man was created, so turning a blind eye to bad behaviour for the sake of provision is nonsensical since any money earned from it is not only haram. The rizq would have come to them through other means. Trading good behaviour for bad, as we are shown in Qur’an, is totally counter-productive.  Allah (SWT) tells us whoever supports a wrong action has a share in its punishment so the parents may feel they are saving themselves distress in the dunya (this world), but not in the Akhirah, (the Hereafter). By allowing this situation to continue, sadly these parents are neither saving their daughter nor themselves. True love is saving ones loved ones from Jahannum. Avoidance, not patience, should be advised on the haram.

I am also wondering why, if your niece sees this man as her husband, they are not married? Why is there a delay in the nikah? One can not consider a non- mahram a husband until he actually becomes a mahram! This type of thinking results in an illusion that haram behaviour is acceptable because of one’s future view of someone. One would not choose to see a medical student when a qualified doctor  was available simply because one day the student would also be qualified– we would simply not take such a risk with our health so bi idh nillah (by His permission) we should protect our iman (faith) with greater caution. I advise you strongly to explain to your niece / the man she lives with/ her parents of the seriousness of this situation and end the arrangement immediately and /or speed up the nikah. Of course, until that time they should remain living in a halal way and not continue to co-habit.

I am unsure how long your niece / her parents and the young man involved have been Muslims, but as an aside - the fact that this arrangement is acceptable to all those involved, reflects some confusion about their knowledge of the deen and I would strongly advise that you encourage them to attend some Islamic circles where they may gain some knowledge insha-Allah about the correct Islamic way of life.

May Allah in His Wisdom make clear the Haq (Truth) to us all and may your family be protected from harm through your advice and support insha-Allah.

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