A time has come, and I have realized strongly about the meaning “fear of Allah”. Now in every step of life, I have been trying to leave every sinful act behind, al hamdu Lillah - may Allah T’ala give me courage to stay firm.

Last year I got into a relationship. I met the guy on the Internet. He is 11 years older than me. Eight or nine months have passed into this relationship, and now I have realized that it is wrong. It does not mean my feelings for him have died, but I have got that true fear of Allah, and I have ended the relationship. However, at times I lose control, and sometimes I start talking to him like before, and then again the Islamic soul arises. Now here it does not mean that I get feelings so that I start talking to him. It happens that I feel that I want to be with someone who cares and understand. I want to stop myself from such moments, when I loose my faith. I have just passed my teen years. I want to fall and rise in love with Allah T’ala. Please help me.

I have stopped talking to people on the Net, disconnected my contact with old friends too. That guy is ready to marry me, and can send for his parents anytime I say. But what will I say to my mother, that I met him on Internet? I would prefer to die, rather than mention this love on the Internet, which is sure to make their heartbeat slow. I am a kind of person who is completely frank with family, but when it comes to this liking someone/thing… I have no courage - not at all. When I told him that maintaining relations is illegal and all, he did not understand in my first attempt, and he went crazy, but gradually he understood, and tried to follow some Islamic points - however sometimes we loose control and start talking. Now as I have told you, the whole picture, please help me out.

I am sure that this person will take care of me always and will keep me happy,  and the rest, Allah T’ala knows the best. If I create some other story that I met him somewhere else, is it allowed? I can never mention the Internet thing and love. I am stepping back because Allah does not like keeping false and fake relations, this is the only reason, but then on the other side I wish to spend my life with him. I have taken this step so in return maybe Allah will help me out -- (but then again the Internet and love thing, how will I?

He lives in the same country and has a good job and family too. However, he is from a different caste. Now please help me that I may not lose control when I have taken a decision and about the marriage thing, making sure no one knows about it, and there is no one with whom I can share. A shameless girl can talk to her parents or someone about love on Internet. I feel ashamed of doing this, but now it is done, and I want to put it on the right road. I have ended the affair and he has understood. You may think that people on the Internet are truly false, however, I have met him and I am satisfied. He has not told me to send for his parents these days, but he was ready to from the beginning, if I find a way. I will never force my parents to accept his proposal because I believe in naseeb, (destiny). I just want the process to start.