I am going through a critical phase. My life has become so miserable that I cannot judge correctly as to what to do. My husband has become addicted to pornography, whenever I try to explain in a pleasing manner what he is doing is haram, he shouts at me and says I have no right to speak on such stuff -- there is no harm hence mind my own business, and not to interfere in his matters. However if I ask him to spare a few moments with the family an I remind him of his responsibilities towards the home he hits me mercilessly, cruelly and harshly.

He hardly speaks to me, and only communicates when he needs food, tea, coffee or he commands that I do some work like wash my clothes, press them neatly, arrange things properly even when it is well maintained and in good condition; or sometimes he asks me to get cigarettes from the market. If I make a slight mistake he throws things and creates a huge mess all around. He speaks bitterly and makes me weep.

I’m totally bound with physical mental and emotional abuse because very often he insults my father for not providing financial help whenever it is required. Being a very sincere, loyal and an understanding person to my husband, he places no value on showing me kindness, affection and love. I have no friends. I don’t mingle with neighbours, and neither do I contact any of my relatives, visit or attend any parties, as it is strictly prohibited by him.

My husband hates and dislikes me so much that he never sleeps beside me or share the bed - we are like strangers although we are living under one roof. To him I am just a slave. Even when I am sick I must do all my work. Sometimes if I make an excuse he says it’s my duty, and that I’m not doing him any favours. All his arrogance and hatred I have tolerated all these years, but now our 10 year old child is asking me to fight for my rights or marry some other nice man. My husband openly tortures me in front of our child and keeps stressing to him [the child] that man should dominate his wife like how he does and that he should learn the procedure. At this early stage in his [child] live he is so confused.

Therefore I would like to seek help from you sisters and brothers. Today I am regretting how I have ruined my life with these all these years behind this man who not only ruined my life but also deteriorated my health condition. I have become mentally ill. The pressure has so badly affected me that I get fearful  over minute things. I fear going out alone - I take my child with me.

Earlier I thought about getting a divorce, which is really bad and disappointing to Allah. Anyways let me see what happens.

I recite Qur’an when he is on the Net, I tried this idea a long time back, in fact I’m doing it still, but all in vain. He is on the Net all the time, except in his office hours. When he sees me reciting the Qur’an he either asks me to leave the room or to read slowly, and shuts the door or makes me do the domestic work.

Al hamdu Lillah I offer salat (prayers) regularly, and I also trying my level best to maintain punctuality. My husband is also very keen regarding salat, and has excellent knowledge about deen (Islamic life transaction). However, I’m very much surprised that having been blessed with such wonderful knowledge how he's fallen into bad habits? I feel very embarrassed to mention all my husband's behaviours. I really don’t like to because Allah has instructed us not to disclose anything that happens between spouses, but I’m helpless.

I have tolerated a lot. I never spoke to people as I did not want to displease Allah. When matters turned for the worse, I told my aunt, and I also discussed it with one of my cousins. They suggested that I should leave him. Anyhow, I was not satisfied with the answer, therefore I presented my situation to a scholar. I got the same reply, hence i decided to send my problems to this website.

I have followed and obeyed what he [my husband] commanded, but in spite of that he's not at all happy in any way. I stood by him throughout all circumstances. I never let him down, on the contrary, he was ill-mannered.

A few days back I told him about his daily pleasures and the vulgar things he watches things - zina (fornication) of the eyes according to Islam. Even after returning from ‘Umrah (minor pilgrimage) he did not stop – wait until the Day of Judgement. On hearing this he became so furious and wild that he hit me all over my body, and punched my face so badly that my mouth bled severely. He warned me not to open my mouth again, moreover he said he would be more happy and excited if I would die as early as possible. All this hurts me, I juts keep silent fro the sake of Allah. I really don't understand what to do, I’m not able to take a final decision. Sometimes I make the firm decision to leave him, and then the next moment I pull back.