As salamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
My son, you are a healthy young man who is going through some tensions at a particular period in your life. Systems may change meaning once men matured earlier in that they were more ready for responsibilities of marriage, and the social mechanisms were more supportive towards that than now. However, now young people’s maturation process is prolonged supported by social and other mechanisms like education. This more often than not proves to be a problem biologically speaking. In saying this, this does not help you very much, as there you are completing your education at a time when your biological needs are demanding attention.
Men like women, do go through cyclical male moods, even though we are more informed about women’s biological processed. So your periodic need to release sexual tension is not abnormal, and is a result of a build up of that tension. It is probably you disturbing you so much that you are not attentive of your acts of worship as you should be – by the way subh prayers are Sunnah prayers, and should not be confused with the obligatory prayer of Fajr (dawn prayers).
I assume you are a physically healthy young man, who is physically inactive, spending much time on ones learning and education. Young men today are prone to being less physically active as many of the pastimes widely available, and attractive to the youth is sedentry. For both modern young men and women this is in fact a disability, particularly prior to marriage. Our bodies were not designed by Allah (SWT) to be physically inactive. As well as contributing towards poor health, being physically active helps to release much tension in the body physically, and psychologically. Doctors Kraus and Raab, coined the term “hypokinetic” (insufficient motion) to describe the vast amount of diseases and disorders that are a result of living a sedentary life. When was the last time you ran, jumped, climbed, swam, or did some physically challenging task? We are 40% muscle, and what do we do with those muscles? Exercise plays a very strong role in how we manage our:
- Release of endorphins which creates a sense of well-being
The simple exercises that one begins ones day with through prayer is a step towards that well-being. Next, look at the ways in which you can help in the home which involves physical activity. Then look at what sports activities you can take up as a hobby to increase your well-being.
To add to this, commit yourself to using the computer and the Internet to educational, and self development purposes only, and you will find the extra time you create by doing so means you can spend more time helping out your father, and/or male relatives, as well as going for a regular swim for example.
As a final note, to support you in all of the above, fasting with good intentions will help to reduce your libido until such time you are able to marry, insha-Allah.
From Counselor Abdullah Abdur Rahman
Thank you for writing to us. Here are some thoughts for your consideration.
First, it is important that you seek help from Allah, by first seeking refuge in Allah from shaytan. There is clearly something very strange about the phenomenon you are describing however it must be addressed because you are clearly being moved to have sinful thoughts and actions. It is not impossible that a jinn is involved because you say that you feel someone is actually lying next to you and whispering to you to commit sins. You cannot however get rid of the jinn by yourself. You must seek out a local Imam and if he cannot help himself, he can at least refer you to an Imam with specialized knowledge in dealing with the jinn.
Second, although to some degree you are most likely being overcome by this urge to commit sins every four months or so, there is something you can and must do as a first step to turning your life around. Starting immediately and not waiting until the cycle of sinful behavior is set to begin, we urge you to get rid of your internet access and also any pornographic videos that are in your possession. You have to understand that you are ultimately responsible for acting upon the whispers and thoughts in your head and therefore, by ridding yourself of the access to the material which allows you to achieve sexual stimulation, you can at least rid yourself of the means or tools of the sinful behavior. You can and will be able to live without Internet but it will not be convenient since all your non sinful activities in life which also involve the internet will still have to continue. For this purpose only, you should explore the use of the internet in public places or even in your own house but perhaps in a room where others can monitor your internet activity.
Finally, make lots of du’aa to Allah to help you from falling victim to the whispers of shaytan. Continue to seek refuge in Allah from shaytan and keep yourself busy with the company of righteous young people – most definitely not people who do not find objectionable and sinful the behaviors you have written to us about. Whenever you feel an urge to commit sins, recite to yourself Sura An-Nas (Chapter #114), the last chapter of the Qur’an and try to understand its meaning. Most importantly, please seek out the help of a local Imam to rid yourself of what could be the presence of a jinn in your life.
And Allah knows best.
For your further guidance, please try the following link(s):
Overcoming Masturbation
His Porn, Our Problem
Cybersex: Is Your World Being Turned Upside Down?
Highs and Lows of Iman
All a Matter of Self Control
Live Clinic: Masturbation
