We are sorry to hear about the circumstances that surrounds you pertaining to your problem; however, it is not that easy to give you the advice that you seek. Admittedly, you find the subject difficult to explain, and so it may be the reason why your explanation makes the problem come across as a purely mechanical one.

It is not evident as to why he went to see a doctor before marriage, but regardless, the soultion exists between the two of you, and the one thing that you are not doing is communicating.

Communication is an essential key, especially more so during the early years of marriage, because it is only through communicating with each other that you can learn about one another. One not only discovers what one spouse finds funny, enjoyable, boring, stressful, but one also finds about what ones spouse is interested in, what their perception of a problem is, their weaknesses and strengths, the depth of their emotions, and their dreams.

Reading between the lines, little discovery is being made about each other, inculidng what makes the other feel intimate. Intimacy begins on the level of communication, understanding, consideration, and compassion. These essential ingredients demonstrate how intimacy first begins emotionally and psychologically. These essential ingredients, are the foundation of trust, and with trust, the feeling of intimacy becomes self assured, and willing to give some more.

{"And among His wonders is this: He creates for you mates out of your own kind, so that you might incline towards them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you: in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think!"} (Rum 30:21).

The emotional center of the brain is the amgydala, which is responsible for feeling aroused. Researchers have found that people in love, release a higher level of dopamine, which triggers the hormone testosterone, which in turn increases physical attraction to ones spouse. For men, this brain activity integrates with visual stimulus, which Islamically makes a lot of sense, when it comes to how Muslim women should behave and dress in mixed company, and even why women should pray behind men! For women, this activity in the brain relates to memory, and what has taken place before.

Helen Fisher's team at Rutgers University scanned the brains of couples who were newly in love while they gazed at photo's of their sweethearts. Activity soars in the brain's reward system. That result, Fisher says, in "fierce energy, concentrated motivation to attain a reward, and feelings of elation, even mania – the core feelings of romantic love". Other areas linked with negative emotions and assessing other people's intentions switched off. Romantic love also included activation of the hypothalamus, where the sex hormone testosterone is produced. Lust, the sexual part of love, is unsurprisingly, switched on in romantic love. –Scientific America

Neuroscience has found that:

• Higher levels of testosterone and estrogen are present when one feels lust.
• Levels of dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin increase when attracted

What makes one feel romantic physically, is not necessarily the same as what makes one feel romantic emotionally, and the influencing factor is ones personality. For example, because your husband is not attracted to you physically, it does not mean that he is not atrracted to you in other ways. This, coupled with the possibility that the reason why your husband does not respond or react the way in which you would like, is because he feels that he has failed as a man, and as a husband, and does not want to be reminded as such.

Some people are more sensitive to having these essential ingredients than others. The husband is more open to the wife and vice versa with both respecting and sharing in each others needs, aspirations, time. There is:

• Mutual trust
• Tenderness
• Acceptance is unconditional approval in a relationship. No one is perfect.
• Open communication is the ability to discuss anything with your spouse.
• Caring is genuine concern for your spouse's well-being. If you do things you know hurt your spouse, you cannot have healthy intimacy.
• Apologies are the remedy for mistakes that spouses inevitably make. Recognizing mistakes, taking responsibility for them, expressing remorse for any hurt caused, and making a commitment to change the hurtful behavior are all essential to mending the relationship after a mistake
• Forgiveness is the process of letting go of anger, desire for revenge, and obsessive thinking about times your spouse has hurt you. It includes giving your spouse permission to have weaknesses, make mistakes, and change.
• Appropriate boundaries are the limits you place on a relationship. The limits can be created individually or as a couple. These limits include saying "no" when your spouse asks you to do something that goes against your values or is more than you can handle.
• Friendship is the ingredient that lines a loving relationship. True friendship means that you will be there for one another and is the boat that takes you through rough times.

Maybe, these qualities are more important to your husband right now, in order that the both of you can find a bridge towards each other. It will help him to feel less defensive about his fears, to know that he can trust you with his feelings, and to make less an issue of physical intimacy so that you can accept him as a man, your husband, a friend, with his weaknesses, without measuring him because of those weaknesses. Besides, who knows whether they are weaknesses in this regard, or if he just a more compassionate man, and essential ingredient for a husband who is a friend, a brother, and a father!

Just make regular dua`aa' for him, and be patient and loving!

For your further guidance, please try the following link:
The Language Between Spouses