Salam,

Thank you for your question, which is prompted both by your desire to live as a good Muslim and also by your desire to be honest and close with your parents. Prompted by such motives, you will surely find the path made smooth for you, in sha' Allah.

It is most important to remember right from the start, and never to forget this important truth, that Almighty Allah is the One Who calls us to Islam. He has chosen you of all the people in the world. We sometimes think that our own small efforts are the things that draw others to Islam, but in this we are totally wrong. Allah alone is the One Who calls.

A translation of what we read in the Noble Qur'an says:

 *{Today I have perfected your religion for you and I have completed My favor upon you and I have chosen Islam to be your religion.}* (Al-Ma'idah 5:3)

These wonderful words should help when things do seem hard. The situation you face is a difficult one: You  are unable to practice Islam as you would like, and it is causing you to feel deceitful towards your family.

Remember, though, that many of those who were first called to Islam in its earliest days were often called to undergo severe trials and terrible punishments for the sake of Allah. Al-hamdu lillah, not many of us nowadays are put to such a test. The trials we face are very little compared to those who have gone before us.

Allah also tells us what means:

*{Say if you love Allah, follow me and Allah will love you.}* (Aal `Imran 3:31)

Almighty Allah has promised that He will love us if we try to do His will. Be assured, then, that by looking sincerely for answers to your own problem, you are drawing down the blessings of Allah upon you.

We need to remember a couple of other things, too, to understand the response of your mother and your sister. You live in the Netherlands. The Netherlands is not famous for the depth of its religious faith, is it? Living in such an environment is not the most supportive of those who would try to live a life devoted to Allah.

In fact, the majority of people in such a society would find religious belief rather strange and odd. It is not surprising, then, that your mother and your sister should find your acceptance of Islam difficult to accept. It just goes against what the rest of society is telling them.

In addition to this general attitude towards religious belief in the Netherlands, there is also the present hysteria in the media about Islam, presenting it as a religion of fanatics and extremists.

Those who know nothing of Islam base their understanding on what television and newspapers tell them. With daily images of bombs and violence, it is again not all that surprising that your mother and sister should be suspicious of Islam.

Somehow, Buddhist monks or Catholic nuns give an image of peace, but Muslims at prayer have come to represent the opposite! How different this is from the truth, when Islam is the world's true religion of peace.

No matter what your mother believes herself, she doesn't want you to come to any harm. If she is being presented with a daily diet of suicide bombs and kidnappings, she is sure to be concerned about her daughter. Her being an atheist, too, means that she has a natural dislike of religion of any kind. If the religion you have chosen seems the most unsuitable one in her eyes, then her reaction is to be expected.

What can you do, then, to cope with this? Well, you need to understand all of this background and all of this "baggage" that your mother and your sister are carrying with them. You are right to say that you need to be patient with them. In asking them to accept your Islam, you are asking them a lot.

When you pray, offer prayers for them, that Almighty Allah will dispose them to accept your decision. Pray that He will use you to open their eyes to what Islam is really like.

For a short time, you can carry on keeping your Islam as a secret, but this cannot go on for a long time. You need to begin setting a timescale for yourself for when this secret will once more become open knowledge.

Begin, also, to find ways of bringing Islam into the conversation. Look for good examples to give. For example, the Netherlands has a longstanding relationship with Indonesia and South East Asia. Islam was brought there quite peacefully by the good example of traders and merchants, who so impressed the people that they wanted to become Muslim. So let your mother and sister know this. Use every opportunity to present Islam in a good light.

When you feel that the time is ready, you will need to talk openly about Islam and why you became Muslim. If your mother loves you, as surely she does, she will come round to what is making you happy. When she sees that her daughter is safe and content, her fears will begin to subside.

It just might be, though, that your acceptance of Islam is a threat to what she believes. It is possible that this threat to her own way of life will be too much for her to bear.

Almighty Allah knows what is best. All He asks of us is that we live as good Muslims, faithful to prayer and prompt to obey His will. If you respond in such a way to what Allah wants and leave the rest to Him, He will surely find a way to resolve the problem you find yourself in. It could be that your patience and your prayers will be the very things He wants to draw your mother and your sister closer to Him.

I hope this answers your question. Please stay in touch.

Salam.

Useful Links:

When the Light of Faith Approaches…

When the Light of Faith Approaches... (Another Answer)

Embracing Islam … and Parents Who Object

Kindness to Non-Muslim Parents

Showing Kindness to Parents

About to Convert

Convincing Someone to Believe

New Converts and Their Parents

I Need to Be Convinced!

Guidance in Boarding School

Gradually Convincing Parents About Islam

Choices in Life After Conversion

Converting to Islam when Parents are against it