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Last Update: 12:01 GMT, Thursday, Dec. 03, 2009

Family > Parenting Counselor

 

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Question and Answer Details

Name of Questioner

Kamil

Title

Prayers! Don't Ask the Others

Question

As-salamu `alaykum,

 

A lhamdu lillah I go to a school where we are able to pray in the lunch hour thanks to our Muslim teacher. He puts a lot of effort into helping us. I think it would be better if more Muslims would turn up for Dhur salah (afternoon prayers) at school. Many brothers choose not to come to salah. is there a way which `in sha ‘allah I can guide these brothers and make them pray with us.

 

Jazakum Allahu khayran

 

Was-salam

Date

21/Nov/2007

Name of Counsellor

Abdullah Abdur Rahman, `Abdul-Lateef Abdullah

Topic

Schooling, Islamic Education

Answer

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. May He bestow His peace and blessings on His messenger, Muhammad, his family, Companions, and all of those who follow them sincerely.

 

As-salamu`alaykum,

 

Dear son, it is very good of you to be so concerned about your brothers and their salat. However, outside of encouraging them and inviting them to pray, there is really nothing you can do to compel them to pray. Perhaps you and your Muslim teacher could remind them of the importance of praying five times a day, citing the various sources from the Qur’an and Hadith, in addition to the many ways it helps you as a student in your life.

 

Young people need tangible reasons to do things usually, right? So you have to set an example for them as to why and how salat is so important to you. Maybe if they see how it helps you and how you value it so much, they will want to pray as well. Look deep inside yourself first and come to a realization as to why you pray, and how it makes you feel, how it improves your relationship to Allah, how it helps you as a student, etc. First you must know these things within yourself before you can guide others.

Don’t focus on trying to ‘make’ people pray. Invite them, remind them of their responsibility and duty to do so for Allah alone with knowledge, and set a good example. I think that’s about all that can be asked of you. Of course, your sincere du`aa' to Allah to open their hearts to desire to pray as well is a must. They will only pray when Allah so wills it. He is the one that controls all of His creation, so always first go to Him with your desires and concerns. Lastly, don't stress yourself out about it, for it is not of your doing. All you can do is encourage them and show them the importance of salat. The matter ultimately lies with Allah, though we must always try our best within our capabilities to help others...

 

I wish you all the best in your efforts…

 

From Counselor Abdullah abdur Rahman

It is great to hear that you are able to pray Dhuhr in your school. May Allah (SWT) reward you and your teacher for arranging that for all of you. You are to be commended for trying to bring more students to the Dhuhr prayer. However, remember that practicing Islam among non-Muslims poses a challenge for many of our young Muslim brothers and sisters.

  • They feel shy sometimes.
  • Other times, they do not want to stand out from other students by "hanging" out with Muslims.
  • And yet other times, they feel ashamed to admit that they are Muslim.

 

If you would like to encourage them to come to the prayer, you have to spend time getting to know the students first. As you form friendships with them and they begin to trust you, you will find it easier to advise them about various matters. If you never get close to them, then they will always see you as an outsider who wants them to be religious.

You can also try another approach if at least a few other students are coming to prayer. Start by meeting with some of the students who already come to prayer. Get each of them to focus on at least one or two friends in school that they know. Then, over time, get them to invite their friends to come to at least one Dhuhr prayer in the week. In time, as the friends begin to like "hanging" out with other Muslims and even praying, they will start to come on their own.

The important thing is to not judge those who do not come to pray. In fact, be nicer to them and kinder to them so that they can feel that you really do care for them as a person. ` In sha'allah, Allah (SWT) is the only one who can guide people, and with your efforts and du`aa', it is possible that Allah (SWT) guides the other students to come to prayer.

 

Do write back and let us know of your progress.


For your further guidance, please try the following links:

Prayers are Only Movements

Salah: Any Physical Benefit?

And Allah Knows Best

 

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