As-salamu `alaykum

I have read your concerns regarding your son's reading and speaking development. Based  on this information, my conclusion is that your son is learning at his own pace. However, you have different expectations from a four year old, and it is your anxiety which has made it more difficult for your son to relax and to practice his language skills.  To compare him to other children is not the best possible way to measure your own child's development.  For parents to use this approach has a negative effect on nurturing a child and helping him to achieve his potential given to him by Almighty Allah.

As a parent you can facilitate the process with a positive approach. Let us assume that even if he is not doing as well as the other children, his efforts should be recognized and in time in sha’ Allah he will master the several languages he is exposed to naturally .But if you are nervous, anxious, critical or negative then you are setting the stage for him to fail.   He is not a learning machine, he is a child of four, a human being with emotions and feelings and with his own way of learning and relating to his environment.   Allah has created us all as an individual, we are not like every one else, our environment is very important.

Here is what I want you to try: 
1) Pray to Allah consistently to give you patience . It is the most important ingredient in helping him grow both mentally and physically as well spiritually.

2) Thank Allah for giving you a healthy child, I presume that he is, since you have said nothing about his mental or physical  health. Is he a happy child? Sad child? Does he get frustrated quickly etc. Does he sleep well, can he concentrate.  These are very important aspects of his entire personality.

3) Praise him for his efforts, right or wrong.  He must have the confidence to try to learn and speak.

4) You must remember he is only four years old.  He can be  positively  influenced  in learning not only reading and speaking but also in social skills that are just as important.

5) Read to him stories every night and every morning. Stories that are interesting, simple, with lots of pictures.  Chose only one language for reading, and gradually you can introduce other languages, your husband should take turns in reading and conversing with him.   He is four and at this age they have an amazing imagination, encourage him to make up his own stories.  There are many interesting stories in the Qur'an .

6) Teach him to say in sha’ Allah I can do it,  when he forgets words etc..  It just gives him a positive boost.   This works with my grand son, who is only four.

7) Do not let him know about your intense anxiety only  about his success.  You are his mother, as such he relies on your positive feed back at all times.  When you are positive his whole world is a happy place.

Finally you  need to shift your focus form your sons reading and speaking to memory and learning.  You need to nurture his confidence in his abilities and skills through reading to him, and helping him to talk to you and his father. I hope in sha’ Allah  this will help.

For your further guidance, please try the following link:
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