Question and Answer Details

Answer

May Allah Most High grant you patience and understanding in dealing with your wife!

It is truly the Mercy of Allah Most High that you have been introduced to this Cyber Counseling service and are seeking help to improve yourself. Let’s be clear about one thing: No marriage can thrive if one or both of the spouses resort to verbal or physical abuse. In this case, it is important that you have realized the wrong that you have committed. However, repenting for your actions is not just confined to seeking forgiveness from Allah Most High. You have wronged your wife. That is where you must begin to seek forgiveness. Go to her and tell her how sorry you are for having physically abused her. Apologize to her, tell her how hurt you feel because of your actions. Appeal to her to accept your apology and to forgive you. Have you already done all this? If you have, then do it again after reading this response. If you have not, then you should make this resolving this issue a priority insha’allah.

In addition, you should seek forgiveness from Allah Most High. Make a commitment to yourself and to Allah that you will never again lift your hand against your wife. Feel bad in your heart for having hit your wife a year ago. Approach Allah Most High with a heavy heart and seek His forgiveness for your actions.

Finally, we want you to reflect on your ability to control your temper. What seems to be the problem? Why do you lose your temper? What makes you angry? Realize that anger is not something pleasing to Allah Most High. The Prophet Muhammad sal allahu alayhi wasallam has told us to suppress our anger as much as possible. According to the Prophet, if you are angry and standing up, then you should sit down. If you are angry and sitting down, then you should lie down. Have you ever tried doing this? Think about what is being said here and then remember it the next time you are angry. Insha’allah, even if you do get angry, remember especially that you should not raise your hand against your wife or your children or anyone for that matter. The next time you find yourself losing your temper, suppress your anger, restrain yourself and insha’allah Allah Most High will reward you! Make du’a to Allah to forgive you. And Allah knows best.