Question and Answer Details

Answer

This is an important question because it goes to the heart of trust and communication between spouses, especially about their intimate relationship. Your husband would have difficulty trusting you if he were to ever discover that you had been faking an orgasm all along. Rather than focusing on how to fake your orgasm, we want to re-direct your attention to something you might not be aware of. Popular movies, television programs and urban folklore have placed tremendous pressure on women to feel inferior or dissatisfied if they do not experience an orgasm.

Contrary to popular belief, it is quite common and natural for women not to experience an orgasm during intimate relations with their husbands. You need to talk to your husband and let him know how he can best satisfy your needs even if you never reach an orgasm. Reassure him that he need not feel pressured to help you reach an orgasm and that you are just as satisfied even if you do not reach an orgasm. This concept is difficult for some men to grasp because climaxing to the point of ejaculation is an external and mostly visible phenomenon. So your husband might not quite understand how you could feel satisfied if you are not showing any of the similar reactions as he does upon reaching a climax. And, your husband might also be socialized into believing that climax only occurs in a certain way for women. You will have to help him by getting books on this subject that explain the phenomenon of women being satisfied without reaching an orgasm.

Start talking with your husband and help him to learn more about the range of reactions that women experience during intimate relations. Insha'allah, he will be understanding and accepting of you.

We make du'a that everything works out for you. And Allah (Swt) knows best.