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There are many young people suffering from low self-esteem. This is not a small problem because it affects how people see themselves as well as how they relate to others and how far they get involved in life events.
When people have low self-esteem they feel hopeless. They speak negatively to themselves, things like “I’ll never be any good. I’m not good at anything. It’s a waste of time trying to be better.”
When those people look in the mirror they see someone who isn’t attractive enough, who isn’t clever or good enough, who is always lacking in some important way.
To top things off, the people around such people may not understand what they are going through, so they may get further negative comments like “Why did you do that? You look awful in those clothes. Why don’t you do like your brother (or sister or friend and so on)?” The young people may scowl, say something angrily or remain silent and go somewhere by themselves.
Negative feelings about yourself are very damaging. Why? Because there is an old saying: First a thought, then an act. So if you feel and think negatively you will also speak and behave negatively. It’s just like wearing colored sunglasses. When you wear them (feel and think negatively) everything you see takes on a certain color, a certain look. Now, that look can be positive and extremely beneficial or negative and destructive. You are the one who chooses what color sunglasses to wear, meaning how you look at life, how you look at yourself and your surroundings.
Once you start thinking in a negative way, it may become a habit. People can actually live many years of their lives without reaching their potential because all the time they are telling themselves “You can’t do it! Forget it! Who cares?”
So what we have to do is to turn all this negative thinking around. That doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you will start looking attractive like the people who have their pictures in glossy magazines! What it does mean is that you will see yourself from the inside; you will see all the wonderful, noble, and inspiring qualities you have. When you read this, you may laugh to yourself and say “yeah, yeah,” but believe me it’s true. Every single person in this world is unique and has something positive to add to life. The problem is that few people take the time and make the effort to look for those qualities that Allah the Almighty has implanted in each of us, and then develop them.
Another thing you have to keep in mind is that you are being continually bombarded by images of how the media wants you to be. You may never be able to look like the people on the advertisements, so what should you do? Retire from life? Never! After all, today’s world places far too much emphasis on how people look, rather than on what those people are really like. The best advice in this regard is to ignore these images.
I’m talking about images like tall, slim, attractive girls are the ones who are successful. Now that is a lie! Another image is if you smoke cigarettes, you are automatically a tough guy! Another lie! If you start to take notice of the way advertisements are aimed at young people, you will see how you are being tricked into thinking in a certain way that will make you buy the things the companies want you to buy. At the same time, these advertisements and images affect the self-esteem of young people who may find it difficult to “fit in” to the “look” a certain company wants to sell.
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For example, a certain company wants to sell short, tight dresses. They have organized a campaign of advertisements that send the message to young women that if they want to be beautiful, attractive, and successful, they have to wear this type of clothing. Many young people get caught up in this and follow the fashion. If they happen to be tall and slim they will look good and if they don’t— well, that’s where self-esteem does a nosedive.
Now what, you may ask, has this to do with volunteer work? Doing something for others is a way of making yourself feel good about yourself. When you reach out to others, especially those who are less fortunate than yourself, you will, without even trying to, begin the process of developing your inner self, your real self. Not the outer showy superficial self, how you look.
Now this takes guts. It always takes a certain amount of courage and strength to stand your ground when the people around you are heading in the opposite direction. So when your classmates are heading for the mall to buy more of their “fashion” (we know where that’s coming from, right?) and you head off to the orphanage, the blind school, the local homeless organization, be sure that you are on a path that leads to feelings of self-worth, feelings that you are doing something good for others, feelings that you are an important person in this world and are needed and appreciated by others.
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I promise you that if you start to do volunteer work for a noble cause with the intention to please your Creator, you will feel good about yourself. You will appreciate the abilities you have. For example, if you help a handicapped person, you will look at the power of your own legs in a different way and you will be so very grateful for your good health. If you help orphans, you will appreciate the fact that you have a family, even if they bug you from time to time. If you help the blind kids at the local blind school, you will appreciate the two treasures you have (your own eyes) and you will not care about their color or shape because you will be so very grateful that you can see. By reaching out to others, you have started to wear different colored sunglasses; the world will look different and you will start to see value and goodness in places that you used to ignore.
So this is the challenge! Do you want to feel better about yourself? Do you want to feel strong instead of weak? Do you want to feel worthwhile instead of worthless? Then look around you in your own community and find a way to serve others. There is an old saying: In the service of your fellowman you will find yourself.
So have the courage to take up the challenge. Here are some ideas:
- Find an older person known to your family and visit him or her. Talk to him or her, read to him or her, do some shopping for him or her, and so on. Sometimes old people find it a great burden to go to the telephone office to pay the phone bill, so find some way to help. Befriend this person and be sure he or she has a lifetime of stories to share that will be of interest to you.
- Handicapped people have obvious difficulties in life but sometimes they just need to be befriended. Organize one or two of your friends and take a handicapped person to the park, have a picnic, and have some fun. When you do things that are pleasing to Allah, be sure you will feel happy inside.
- Find the local orphanage and ask the manager if you can come at certain times in the week to play with the orphans and show them love and kindness. Perhaps you could teach them something you are good at. It could be things like drawing, singing, crafts, or games.
- If you have immigrant people in your area, go to the local community center and tell the people in charge that you would like to help an immigrant how to speak English (or your local language). It could be simple things like words and phrases for shopping, the names of items, and general vocabulary. Imagine yourself in a strange new country where you don’t speak the language well and think how happy you would be if someone offered to help you!
Be determined to make this “your summer,” a “Summer for Humanity” and let us know how you get on. Perhaps your story could be shared with others; you just never know how it might benefit someone somewhere.
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