I Have a Problem, What Should I Do?

I recall the story of a young man named Yusuf. He had all the comforts that one could hope for — a home, a wonderful family, and lots of friends. He took life pretty easy. He was used to getting what he wanted until the day he failed to qualify for the cricket team! It was his dream ever since he could remember. "What! Me, not chosen for the cricket team!" he exclaimed to himself. He had made every effort to qualify and had even compromised his studies and endured lower grades just to get onto the team! He couldn't imagine anything worse until he got home and found out that the car he had been dreaming of was just not going to be his! "When you've graduated from university and start working, you can buy your own car," his father reasoned.

"Life just isn't fair," moaned Yusuf. At that moment, he felt that the world was against him and he kept wondering what he had to done to deserve such misfortune. He confined himself to his room and decided that he wasn't going to leave it. He lay on his bed and turned on the television and there, staring right at him, was a documentary about street children and the tragedy of their lives. How some children were forced to live on the streets because of poverty, while others were sold into prostitution, and some had to run away from abusive parents.

Something triggered in Yusuf's mind: "Could I really be complaining about my situation when I don't even have half the problems that these kids have?"

When the problems in your life seem too large, think of others, not just those who are close to you, but also those around the world. You will find that many people have far bigger problems in their lives and suffer greater tragedies than you. You might find that your problems suddenly seem very small in comparison.

People have different ways of approaching problems and dealing with them. Try to imagine that your problems are a big bubble. Would you put yourself into the bubble and let the problems control you, or would you allow the bubble to just float away and not let them take control of your life?

Sometimes you feel like the problems are consuming you and you just want to stay under your blankets in your room and not face the world. You feel like you're going to explode!

But life is a constant motion of change. There are times when everything seems to be going wrong and you feel like you're going out of your mind. But remember that Allah tell us in the Qur'an, [Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say "we believe" and will not be tested with affliction?] (Al-`Ankabut 29:2)

Let us ponder on this verse a little. Often your true strength of character is revealed when you experience difficult periods in your life and when you finally work your way out of it. You discover your strength and emerge from the difficulties stronger, more confident, and sometimes wiser.

Often when we are faced with a number of challenges, we tend to panic and can't think rationally. But what should we do when we have so many challenges to deal with? You should try doing the following:

• Reflect deeply and try to find out what is causing the problems.
• Acknowledge the problem and take ownership of the problem; it won't help to blame others.
• When you are by yourself, talk to yourself about the problems you have and find out how you can solve the problems.
• Don't isolate yourself; talk to someone who is close to you and you can trust.
• Be open to listening to good advice.
• Bear in mind that no problem lasts forever. Often it is not the problem itself, but how you feel and choose to deal with the problem. And remember that Allah tells us in the Qur'an [With every difficulty comes ease] (94. Al-Inshirah 94:5)

Sometimes, when we are facing difficulties, we cannot bring ourselves to help others who are also facing difficulties until our own problems have been resolved. But helping others in their time of need might actually ease our own situation. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If anyone removes (one of the) anxieties of this world from a believer, Allah will remove (one of the) anxieties from him on the Day of Resurrection." (Reported by Ibn Majah, Abu Dawud, and At-Tirmidhi)

Naseema Mall is from South Africa and works as a freelance journalist. She can be contacted at youth_campaign@islamonline.net