|
Nearly every young person has experienced bullying in one form or another—either as a bully, a victim of bullying, or an onlooker. For sure, there is nothing positive about being a bully, a victim, or an onlooker, but things can change and are changing for the better in many places. Most of the time, these changes take place by a few people making an effort to organize and educate.
Most bullying occurs at school, although it can happen in one’s neighborhood or even at home. Bullying may be in the form of physical violence, but teasing, ridiculing and not being accepted into groups and teams is often equally as painful as a hit or a push—and sometimes emotional pain is even worse, as its effects may last longer and take longer to heal.
If no one tries to stop bullying, both the bullies and the victims are at great risk of failing at school and taking part in negative behavior like smoking, drinking, drugs, and skipping class. Continued bullying can cause the victim to become depressed and hopeless about the future. They may miss out on school, fall behind, and eventually leave school early.
Bullying is something that happens in all places and between the same or different cultures, races, religions, and backgrounds.
What lies at the root of bullying is aggressive behavior, which can come from different sources. When young people learn to recognize their emotions and learn how to communicate more effectively, there is often less bullying. Anger is such a destructive thing; that is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told us, “Do not get angry” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).
“Do not get angry.”
He (peace and blessings be upon him) repeated this three times to emphasize its importance. A bully needs to learn what makes him or her react in a hostile way. Okay, the bully may feel upset, angry, or frustrated, but what makes him or her feel like that? Maybe the bully has a problem but doesn’t know how to deal with it and so lashes out at people who are weaker. Perhaps the bully has learned to be racist or to dislike certain people because of the way they look. There are many reasons why a bully acts that way, but what is important here is to recognize that there is always a reason why people say and do the things they do.
|
At the same time, that does not excuse bad behavior; such behavior needs to change. The bully must learn how to deal with his or her anger as well as how to resolve conflict. The victim must be protected and taught to be assertive. Everyone else, including bystanders, have to contribute to developing good feelings between each other and help to foster good relations. Everyone must come to terms with the fact that if they are not part of the solution, then they are part of the problem. Everyone should speak out against violence and bad behavior until this becomes a norm. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) told us, “One of you does not have complete faith ’til he likes for his brother or sister what he likes for himself” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim). So how could we just stand by and watch someone being hurt without trying to stop it?
Kill apathy!
If students feel safe and happy at school, there will be more time to concentrate on learning, so learning to communicate well and to recognize good and bad behavior is a must for everyone. The collective conscience of the community should be developed so that everyone should find it unthinkable to just stand back and do nothing when someone is being mistreated. Kill apathy!
The Prophet of mercy, Muhammad, (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us about this kind of problem. He said, “No (unprovoked) harm is allowed, neither is (provoked) harm” (Ibn Majah).
This shows us clearly that this kind of behavior is destructive to mankind, so it then becomes our responsibility to do our very best to eradicate it.
If your school does not have a policy on bullying, you could approach your teachers with the following ideas. If your school already has an anti-bullying campaign, then take active part in it!
-
Make a policy that everyone recognizes: refuse, and report bullying. You could put posters up around the school and in classrooms. Get everyone involved!
- Make an official policy about bullying: it is not allowed. Have this announced to the whole school. The students could elect a committee and work with teachers to develop this policy and present it to the school. All students could sign their name on it to show their support. A list of all the signatures under the policy could be put in a prominent part of the school, where everyone can see it and remember their promise to abide by it.
- Ask teachers about organizing conflict resolution courses for all students. This will help the students in all their relationships, not just the situations concerning bullying.
- Form mechanisms of how to report bullies. For example, the students should know which teachers or social workers to approach if there is a problem and these teachers and social workers should understand the problem well and be prepared to listen.
- Ask teachers about organizing courses in effective communication. Again, this will help students in every aspect of life.
|
All people, young and old, make choices every day. Those choices lead us in our lives; every word and action has consequences. With this in mind, we should approach the problem of bullying and try to find the causes and eliminate them. At the same time, we ourselves should constantly strive to be better people; more kind, more tolerant, more gentle, more assertive; standing up for justice. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Fear Allah wherever you are. Follow a bad deed with a good deed and it will cancel it, and treat people with good manners” (At-Tirmidhi).
Goodness has more power than evil. The best way to combat evil (which includes bullying) is with the power of truth, justice, kindness, forgiveness, and wisdom. There is no problem too great to be overcome.
Be a part of our worldwide online community of Muslims 4 Humanity: Muslims against violence.
|
