What Are You Escaping From?

Some people do the same thing. I do not mean they actually bury their heads in the sand, I mean they find ways of ignoring problems instead of dealing with them. And people have come up with many ideas of how to try to escape from life instead of putting the same energy into fixing the problem!

Now, what kinds of problems do young people have today? You might shake your head and think there are too many to be counted. What about if you think about yourself and the problems you face. Keep in mind that there are basically two kinds of problems: the things we can change and those that we cannot. The things we cannot change are things like what happened in the past. Also, if a person is born with some kind of disability. Sometimes a person may consider it a problem to have been born into a certain family, or coming from a certain country —these are all things that cannot be changed, and trying to hide from them or ignore them does not make them go away.

The challenge is to identify your problem and know whether it is something that can be changed or something that cannot be changed. The things that cannot be changed must be accepted. This does not mean condoning a wrong action, but it means accepting the fact that such-and-such happened and realizing that you can hit your head on the wall but it won’t go away. Realizing this and coming to terms with it is the beginning of healing. How many young people are locked into situations and conditions that they cannot change but instead of trying to make the best of things and get on with their lives, they hide themselves behind alcohol or drugs or sleep their life away?

Now what about the things that can be changed? Such problems might be difficult, might seem insurmountable, might make you gasp when you think about them, but there are things you can do about them.

For example, what if you are overweight? You can sit down and remember the taunts you had at school, feel sorry for yourself and console yourself in a doughnut and some chocolate drink. That is not even getting near solving the problem. There will always be some people who are ready to laugh and make fun of others. The bullies of the world are ugly and make life miserable for others, but what can you do, the target of the bully? Bury your head in the sand like the ostrich? Or make yourself an exercise program, control your eating habits (see a dietician if you think that would help) and try to improve your self-image? Now that is an example of changing the things you can change.

Of course, whenever we face problems, challenges, or a crisis the first thing to do is to turn to Allah. You can even pray two rakahs special for that problem and concentrate on seeking an answer. Remember that Allah is the Ever-Merciful and if you turn to Him, He will turn to you (site hadith). When you take this approach to solving your problems, you will begin to see yourself more clearly—not just the outer you, but the inner you, the real you, the part of you that wants to do good and be good. Nurture that part of yourself and you will find that the rest will develop automatically. So if you’re an overweight person, you might find the basis of the remedy is in developing your spirituality by reading more Qur’an, attending Islamic classes that are inspiring and feed you hope, and, of course, doing volunteer work so you can serve others and really start treading the path of gathering and building inner resources.

What if you’re a person who fails at school? Your parents will make problems for you and perhaps ground you so as to make you study harder and be more serious. They might cut your pocket money or ban you from watching television, all in an attempt to help you change your behavior. But really, only you can fix this problem and turn things around. You have to make a timetable for yourself and stick to it. You should also try to have a better relationship with your teachers so they can help you understand the lessons better. Make friends with students who are good at school so you can be motivated to try harder. Feeling sorry for yourself that you aren’t doing well, being grumpy with parents because they try to get you to do the things that will help you improve—all these things are a road to nowhere. The only way to feel better, is to do something positive to fix the problem, which in this case is study harder.

We are all walking down a path, the path of our own life. On this path we will meet many challenges; we will find many things to distract us from following this path; we will find many things and people beckoning us to follow different paths. But it is up to us to make the intention to be successful in life. If you seek Allah’s help, do the right things for the right reasons, you will succeed and you will find inner peace and strength. Someone should tell the ostrich that!

Naseema Mall is from South Africa and works as a freelance journalist. She can be contacted at youth_campaign@islamonline.net