Internet Granny and the Generation Gap

"What's the matter dear?"

"I failed my exam and my friends hate me."

"Why would your friends hate you because you failed your exam?"

"They don't hate me because I failed my exam Granny. They hate me because of my teeth!"

"What's the matter with your teeth dear?"

"They told me when I smile all they can see of my face is my teeth."

"So don't smile, dear."

"What Granny? Do you want me to be miserable all my life?"

"Not miserable dear, just don't smile."

"That's not the answer – I need to fix my teeth."

"So every time someone doesn't like something about you, it means you have to go and fix it?"

"Yeah something like that granny."

"Well dear, if someone doesn't like you just because of something silly like your teeth dear, then I don't think you can call them a friend."

"Well I don't have friends anyway Granny because everyone always finds something wrong with something about me. I'm just never good enough for anyone."

"Oh don't be ridiculous dear. You shouldn't listen to what people say – except me of course. Why we could all find something wrong with everyone we know. Just be glad you've got teeth dear. When you get old they're usually the first to go. And by the way, nobody is perfect dear."

"But Granny some people are more imperfect than others."

"Ok dear, if you insist on being negative I'll just leave you to wallow in self pity. Let me know when you want to have a real conversation."

"It's no good Granny – you've ruined my life."

"Me? What have I done now?"

"You're too old Granny and everyone says I'll be mentally scarred if I'm raised by an older person – like I won't have anyone to identify with."

"Nonsense dear. Who told you that? The same person who got you about your teeth huh?"

"Well, er…"

"Dear, I can't take the credit for ruining your whole life. I think you've done quite a good job of messing up most of it yourself."

"There you see Granny, you don't understand me. My friend says the generation gap is bad enough between parents and kids but between grandparents and kids it’s a massive, whopping, great void. Like we live on different planets Granny!"

"So you're mentally scarred dear?"

"I dunno Granny. What do you think?"

"Time will tell dear."

"Thanks a lot Granny. You're supposed to comfort me and make me feel better!"

"Would you like me to humor you dear. If it makes you feel better I can tell you everything is wonderful – your friends are marvelous and very kind, you are a rational strong personality, and your have a tiresome old grandmother."

"Now that's better Granny. You certainly are getting the hang of it. But I want braces."

"Have you lost weight dear?"

"Not on my trousers Granny! On my teeth!"

"Oh back to your teeth dear. Well I prefer the natural look."

"Even if the natural look means I look like Bucky Beaver?"

"I think Bucky Beaver is awesomely cute dear."

"That would be fine if my parents were beavers but I'm supposed to be a human being…"

"And a bright one you are dear."

"So can I have braces Granny?"

"Nope. Too expensive and you have a lovely smile dear."

"But a moment ago you told me not to smile!"

"Only If your friends don't like it dear."

"But how can I have a strong personality if I only do what they want. You're making me feel confused Granny."

"Well that's not so difficult dear."

"And the generation gap is getting wider and wider til I can hardly see you anymore Granny…."

"Perhaps you need glasses instead of braces dear."

"It's no use. You'll never understand me. I'm doomed to grow up a miserable person with buck teeth and no friends."

"Only if you choose to dear.. but really dear, I wouldn't worry too much because the only gap around here in the one between your teeth!"

Selma A. Cook is an Aussie Muslim writer who lives and works in Egypt.  She has written a number of books including: Buried Treasure (An Islamic novel for teenagers), The Light of Submission (Islamic Poetry). She has also edited and revised many Islamic books. She can be contacted at: youth_campaign@iolteam.com.