|
You are welcome to submit your questions regarding natural health. However, we receive many questions each week and we are only able to publish a few.
All questions will be answered within a "general advice" format in the column only. As health problems require the personal advice of a health care professional, we are unable to answer questions personally.
Karima Burns, MH, ND has a Doctorate in Naturopathy and a Masters in Herbal Healing. She has studied natural healing for 12 years, published a natural healing newsletter for 4 years, and writes extensively on natural healing and herbs. Sister Karima became interested in natural healing after ending her personal lifelong struggle with asthma, allergies, chronic ear infections, depression, hypoglycemia, fatigue and panic attacks with herbs and natural therapies.
Karima offers natural healing consultations, aromatherapy and reflexology treatments, iridology readings, and nutritional and herbal programs from her home in Saudi Arabia. She believes that healing occurs more rapidly when her clients can work on the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of their illnesses.
Dear Health Editor,
Yesterday, I finally saw on the Oprah Winfrey show a public acknowledgment of an all too common physiological and psychological issue: the lack of female sexual desire or female sexual dysfunction in general.
It is a problem that many women deal with in silence, or if it is addressed, it is usually unsatisfactorily. As Muslims, we understand that husbands and wives are to equally enjoy one another - that we are garments for each other.
Can you address this issue, and suggest natural herbs and techniques for women in such a situation? I understand that hormonal levels are responsible for much of our sexual and mental well-being.
SMB
Dear SMB,
The challenges facing the female libido have been long known. As far back as recorded history, women have taken various herbal formulas to increase their libido. While men have also been known to take various formulas, historically, they have been viewed as a treatment for males who are experiencing 'problems' rather than dealing with a normal condition.
In many ancient and even modern cultures, the discrepancy between the male and female libido is so recognized that mothers hand down "secret" herbal formulas with instructions to their daughters on their wedding night. And, the Qur'an permits men and not women to marry up to four partners.
Hence, the issue is not really one of "a lack of female sexual desire" or "female dysfunction in general" as you (or perhaps Oprah) stated in your question; rather, it is one of dealing with a normal condition in females. It is normal for females to have less sexual desire; therefore, this reality should not be viewed as dysfunctional or stemming from a lack of desire.
The situation can become "dysfunctional" or turn into a true "lack of desire" when this natural discrepancy is left untreated for years. As women, we have a duty to our husbands and ourselves to maintain our desire as we would maintain any aspect of our health such as weight, muscle tone, or dental hygiene. The libido has to do largely with our habits - physical, mental, and spiritual.
Mentally, libido is controlled by societal expectations and notions of what male and female relationships should be. In American society, the conjugal act is valid only if it is by mutual agreement and is mutually enjoyed by both partners. Numerous suits claiming "marital rape" attest to these views.
On the other hand, in other cultures, the Qur'anic injunction, "You are a garment to them..." is often cut short to mean that women are at the disposal of men - at any time. However, Prophet (SAW) said, "In the sexual act of each of you, there is sadaqa." The Qur'an says, "Of his signs is this: that he created for you spouses that you might find rest in them and He ordained between you love and mercy."
Finding the balance in physical intimacy requires a belief that marriage should be mutually beneficial for both men and women. Men have a responsibility to respect the desires of their mates and women have the same responsibility. When libido is reduced in one of the two, they BOTH have a duty to seek equilibrium. The one with the stronger desire can reduce it using natural herbs and methods, and the one with the weaker desire can also follow certain therapeutic routes.
Appropriate timing and life situations also control libido. The Qur'an says that one's wife "is a tilth unto you." A farmer does not till his soil out of season or cultivate it in a manner that would destroy or exhaust it ( The Muslim Marriage Guide by Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood). Often, mothers have trouble finding time for intimacy with their husbands between caring for children and housework.
Partners must explore with one another to find out the root of any problems that they might have. Is the problem actually a matter of libido or is it scheduling? Perhaps the husband is unaware that his wife needs an hour for house cleaning every evening; after which, she would be happy to spend some time alone with him before they retire for the night.
As sex is just another form of communication between husbands and wives, you may find at times that one or the other does not want to "converse," or would rather just "listen."
Once you have established guidelines that please you both and there is still a lack of desire, the issue of libido needs to be explored. In some cases, a woman will find herself with a lack of libido because she is dissatisfied with her husband or because he does not take the time to please her. In this case, a Hadith is helpful as many women are too shy to talk about the problem: "Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal, but let there first be a messenger between you." "And what is that messenger?" they asked. The prophet replied, "Kisses and words."
Premature ejaculation can also cause a woman to loose her libido; however, that is another subject altogether.
Once all of the above have been addressed and a wife is STILL lacking in desire, check one more thing before you resort to medication, therapy, or herbs - whether the problem is a lack of libido on the woman's part or excess libido on the man's.
Excess libido is considered, in the medical and herbal world, as a problem just as much as a lack of libido is - akin to compulsive eating. A person may desire "their fill" simply out of a spiritual emptiness that they are trying to fill. It may also be a problem of excess energy. Oftentimes, people who do not exercise or who watch too much television will mistake their physical desire for exercise as sexual desire. Natural therapies for excess desire involve regular exercise and outdoor physical activity; regular massage, reflexology, or other physical therapy treatments; a change in diet, and the use of balancing herbs.
Often, the problem of unequal libido between a husband and wife involves a combination of factors. However, once a woman determines that she DOES have a true lack of libido, a wise diet and herbal supplements can help. First, she must determine if it is coming from an overall lack of energy (possibly due to a hormonal imbalance, fatigue, depression, etc.) or from "too much" energy (possibly due to anxiety, insomnia and over activity) in order to choose the appropriate foods, herbs, and techniques to raise her libido. If she has a general lack of energy, she should undertake a program to increase her energy level that includes lots of vegetables (particularly greens) in her diet, moderate regular exercise, eight hours of sleep per night, and herbs that are helpful in that regard.
If she is simply over-energetic and unable to relax, she would benefit from a program that included meditative regular exercise such as walking, yoga or tai chi; a diet low in sugar, caffeine and other stimulants; and relaxing herbs. Foods like red meat, sugar, white bread, cheese, eggs, fruits, hot spices, chocolate, pasta, garlic, onions and caffeine can actually increase libido in some people, as they are all stimulants.
Foods like salads and raw vegetables, cooked vegetables, barley, brown rice, popcorn, water, bitter and sour spices, and condiments (such as vinegar) can reduce an excess libido, increase a low libido, and maintain a healthy one.
This does not mean that all vegetarians have a low libido. It does mean that if you have a naturally high libido, a vegetarian diet will help you normalize it; whereas, if you have a naturally low libido, you need to add more protein and fruits to your diet to increase your consumption of stimulating foods.
Traditional "power foods" that are said to increase libido are: halva (said to be very effective for women), seaweed, and bee pollen. However, the best halva is homemade. To make it, grind a cup of sesame seeds and mix in raw honey until it is the consistency of firm dough. Break off chunks and roll them into bite-sized pieces.
Fava beans (known as ful in the Middle East) are also known to increase sexual desire because of their high dopamine content, says Julian Whitaker, MD, founder of the Whitaker Wellness Center in California. Fats and oils are big libido decreasers so stay away from fatty and fried foods if you have a problem with libido.
Activities that decrease excess libido are jogging, swimming, weight lifting, running, aerobics, Tae Bo, karate, and boxing. If you have a normal libido, these activities will help keep it healthy. If you have a low libido, you should only moderately engage in the above activities - perhaps only twenty minutes a day and never intensely. Activities that increase libido are meditation, walking, Tai Kwon Do, Tai Chi, yoga, sleeping, dancing, listening to classical music, and resting.
Herbs that increase libido are damiana and dong quai. Hibiscus, licorice, linden, fenugreek, chaste tree, ginger, red clover, star anise and wild yam are also known to help. If you suffer from fatigue, herbs that raise your energy level such as ginkgo, gotu kola, ginseng and red raspberry are effective; and if you suffer from anxiety, herbs that relax you such as passionflower, hops, valerian, catnip and chamomile are effective.
Herbs that decrease libido in some people are hops, passion flower and valerian.. Herbs that help men with problems like premature ejaculation are ginkgo, hibiscus, sarsaparilla, dandelion, ginseng, saw palmetto, and cloves. Many of these herbs also balance hormone levels.
Libido can also be affected by sunlight. Research shows that sunlight enhances libido since the pituitary gland, which regulates the ovaries and testes, is most active during the brightest part of the day. In Western society where people work practically from sunrise to sunset, it is almost impossible to take advantage of this fact (except on the weekends). This may actually indicate a deep wisdom in the afternoon "siestas" taken by most of the rest of the world. Libido is also highest during the summer and lowest during the winter; hence, anyone with a low libido would need more therapy during winter whereas someone with an excess libido would need more therapy during the summer.
Libido is also influenced by the smells and colors around us. Effective oils to increase libido are rose, jasmine, vanilla, ginger, pine, ylang-ylang and tonka. Just make sure you are not allergic to any of these oils as a runny nose or a rash will not be very conducive to increasing your libido.
Oils can be massaged onto a person, dispersed throughout a room, or simply smelled in a handkerchief. Since they are not very effective in reducing excess libido (rather, they tend to relax instead), the oils usually used in the bedroom are to increase the libido. Using a red or orange candle or light bulb or wearing the same colors can increase libido in some people; people who need to relax in order to increase their libido should use a blue light, candle or dress.
In conclusion, when addressing this issue, couples need to explore a number of factors and combine a number of techniques to fit their personal situation. I hope this gives you a starting point.
|
