|
Divorce is anything but a transient crisis, according to Judith Wallerstein, a psychologist and a senior lecturer emeritus at the University of California (Berkeley). In a recently released study, Wallerstein presents the findings of over 25 years of research on the long-term effects of divorce. Beginning in the early 1970s, Wallerstein has followed nearly 131 children of divorce as they matured into adulthood. Among the most significant of Wallerstein's findings is that the effects of divorce are neither short-term nor transient.
Children and Parents Experience Divorce Differently
Various studies have shown that divorced parents are able to begin the healing process in three years or less after the divorce. The divorce process itself is characterized by conflict and pain but the overall effects subside whereas for children, the effects are felt for a much longer period of time. Wallerstein's study, for example, finds that children of divorced parents have difficulty committing to relationships and this in turn may affect their own marriages.
Long-term Effects on Children
The 131 children that Wallerstein has followed over the last 25 years were more likely to struggle with alcohol, drugs and sex. She calls special attention to the girls, noting in her study that they tended to become sexually active earlier than the boys. By the age of 14, several of the children interviewed had begun to abuse alcohol and drugs, and almost half of the study participants eventually became serious abusers.
In general, the children found it difficult to cope with disruptions in their daily schedules to accommodate visits with the non-custodial parent. In many cases, the children felt that visitation plans were made at the convenience of their parents with little regard for their own schedules.
Is Getting A Divorce Too Easy?
Wallerstein's findings are being used by those who believe that divorce is the root problem of dysfunctional families. Often, their argument goes something like this, "If laws made it difficult or altogether impossible for people to divorce, these problems would be corrected."
However, given the choice of remaining in a bad marriage and divorcing, it is increasingly clear that most couples opt for divorce. Because they may not be fully cognizant of the long-term effects of divorce on children, experts in the "divorce is the problem" camp suggest that couples contemplating divorce be required to participate in pre-divorce counseling, parent education and a waiting periods to determine if reconciliation is possible.
Divorce Among Muslim Families
While there is little available research on divorce among Muslim families, Wallerstein's findings give rise to the possibility that Muslim children of divorce suffer long-term effects as well. With divorce being such a new, albeit fast-spreading, phenomenon among Muslim families, more research is needed to test whether religion acts as an intervening variable in the impact of divorce on children.
Editor's Note:
(1) For more information on divorce in general, visit, www.divorceinfo.com
(2) Also, if you have been affected by divorce, please write to Cyber Counselor from our homepage
|
