Book Review: My Jihad

Though it has its problems, My Jihad is a frank discussion of contemporary Jihad around the world

W here to start? There is just so much to say about Aukai Collins and his book My Jihad. An entertaining read, My Jihad moves quickly from cover to cover and throughout the reader is prodded along by anticipation over what is to happen next. However, in the pages of this book there are some problematic elements that must addressed.

My Jihad is basically a travel log. Unlike most books in this genre though, this travel log chronicles one man’s journey to war and back. And unlike most wars, Aukai Collins’ is what one might call unconventional.

Collins is a self-proclaimed Mujahid, or Muslim Holy Warrior. A convert to Islam, Collins decided in the early 1990s that he wanted to fulfill the collective responsibility of Jihad by offering his military services to various Muslims groups fighting guerilla wars around the globe. This took Collins first to Pakistan, then to Afghanistan, Chechnya, Kosova and then to Chechyna once again.

The reader is carried along by Collins’ frank, almost conversational writing style. It is almost as if you are sitting in a coffee shop listening to him telling the harrowing and often bizarre tales of war and conflict he encountered. In the pages of this book there is violence, romance, religion, intrigue and everything else that makes up a good story. But there is also some controversy.

Collins, who did indeed fight for Muslim causes and was eventually seriously wounded doing so, also admits to having worked with the FBI and CIA as one of their undercover operatives. With this admission, the reader begins to wonder about the veracity of claims made by Collins.

For instance, Collins is never quite clear as to why he decided to work with FBI and CIA. He asserts that he wished to reclaim Islam from terrorists, thus clearing the way for true Mujahideen like himself to fight for truly worthy Muslim causes around the world. That is all well and good, except that in his narrative, Collins simply jumps from the mountains of Chechnya into meetings with U.S. government officials.

Additionally, there is the issue of his assertion that one particular group of Arab Mujahideen had him set up to be killed by gangsters in Azerbaijan. The reader is forced to take this at face value and never gets a complete sense of who would want Collins dead and why. Collins chocks it up to envy and clashes of military methodology between him and the Arabs. But he never convincingly describes how that would lead to an attempt on his life.

Jumping from the harrowing account of the assassination attempt to his cooperation with the FBI and CIA leaves one with the impression that maybe Collins had something of a personal grudge against the Arabs that he could address better working with the government. Now this impression could simply be a result of Collins’ writing style and the fact that he is a professional warrior not a professional writer; but it nonetheless is one of several instances in the book where the reader is left without much-needed detail in an explanation.

Another such instance occurs in Collins’ handling of his description of his relationship with his second wife Ayeesha. A 16-year-old whom he met in a market in Chechnyna (where he almost immediately proposed to her), Ayeesha is important to the overall narrative of the book. Collins devotes quite some time to discussing their relationship and his efforts to get her out of Chechnya. In many ways, it is one of the “love in a time of war” accounts that can be very gripping and the reader feels the intensity of the relationship.

Collins describes how they met, how he was wounded the day the two were to be wed, how he smuggled her out of Chechnya, how she was forced to return. He takes the reader all the way to the point at which he is making a last ditch effort to get Ayeesha and his daughter by her to America. Then suddenly she disappears from the narrative leaving the reader to wonder what ever happened to her.

Collins is himself an interesting character. His childhood was filled with violence, neglect and tragedy, all of which contributed to his juvenile delinquency. It was while in the custody of the California Youth Authority that Collins converted to Islam.

Once out of jail, Collins became affiliated with the Jamaat Tabliq, an evangelical Muslim group that he soon found too monolithically focused on spirituality for his tastes. Seeing what was happening to Muslims in Bosnia in the early 90s, he resolved to become a Mujahid. Various individuals in the Muslim community in his San Diego area were more than willing to assist him and Collins was soon off to distant lands and strange situations.

What is maybe most interesting about this book, is what it reveals about life on the frontlines as a Mujahid. It becomes apparent that some Mujahideen are more organized than others. Some battles are more clearly defined than others. Some people have different motivations than others.

It is also interesting to note Collins’ own development as a Mujahid. Early in his story, the reader sees an eager young man with true love for the path of war. He is engrossed in military equipment and terminology. The front lines give him a feeling of freedom. However, the read also sees a young man who is maybe too impatient and brash. Collins shows evidence of having a problem with authority within a military structure, which contributes to most of the personal conflicts he had throughout his journeys.

Later in the book, Collins is more mature. With two wives and three children, he is more apprehensive and, interestingly enough, critical of behavior in others that he himself had as a younger man.

Despite the book’s shortcomings, however, My Jihad is in general a very honest baring of one man’s soul. After all, how many people would admit being a Mujahid as well as being a CIA/FBI operative? He puts the good and bad out there and lets readers come to their own conclusions. It would have been helpful to have more information in many instances, but the general picture is one of contemporary Jihad that Muslims, especially in the West, should be aware of.

There is profanity, coarse language and graphic material in the book, so more sensitive readers should be aware of these elements.