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Baguio City, Philippines (June 7 2009) --- Daisy Mensay has this unexplainable urge to buy a pair of shoes every time she passes by Shoe Mart, SM, the biggest mall in the country. However she can not. She is out of work, laid off by Moog, an international airplane spare parts manufacturer. So she goes to her mother and borrows a couple of thousand pesos (US$50), runs to SM and buys a pair of shoes anyway! Yet, she does not really need it. And perhaps will never wear it. She has 167 pairs of shoes, enough to cause former First Lady Imelda Marcos, who once had 3,000 pairs, to raise an eyebrow.
But that’s what a shopaholic is all about?
Shopaholic Horrors
You are a shopaholic if many of your purchases are seldom or never used. Dr. Christine Padlan, a psychologist of the Central University says:
“If you lie even to your family about what you buy, and how much you spend, then you are a shopaholic”.
“Shopaholics come in two forms. Some are so dedicated, they overspend because they just feel “they just have to have that thing” even though they don’t take time to examine what they buy, Dr. Padlan theorized.
“The other shopaholic is one who shops when frustrated. It gets their adrenaline going so shopping becomes a therapy. By buying something that they think makes them look great, they get a sense of self-satisfaction, said Padlan.
A shopaholic friend once confided to me that she feels guilty when she does not shop. Her husband tells me every bit of clothing she has bought in the past five years is neatly displayed in her closet, with the price tags still hanging from them, and some items are still in the bags that they came in with.
So How Can the Failing Economy Slow These Addicts
“It will not Arlene Forbes of the Center for Consumer Behavior said.
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“Many shopaholics shop to help change their mood. Even with the global economic crisis, shopaholics feel that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. So they shop more”.
In the United States, a study of 2,300 people who filed for bankruptcy early in 2000 revealed that their average age was 38. Reporting in Fortune, law professor Jay Westbrock, the co-author of the study said:
“These people run counter to the stereotype of those who declare bankruptcy. They are not blue-collar workers. They are well-educated, middle class baby boomers who got carried away with their credit cards.”
So what appears is fiscal carelessness. In many respects, shopaholics are a lot like people with eating disorders, reports an article in Psychology Today.
Ronald Faber of the University of Minnesota says compulsive shoppers are more likely to have anxiety disorders and lower self-esteem than normal shoppers. They are more impulsive than average and tend to be perfectionists.
So, Can It Be Stopped?
Compulsive buying in fact is socially acceptable . In fact, others encourage it. Look at the Avon lady’s ad in all its products “Ding Dong Shop Till You Drop”.
Carolyn Wesson in her book Women Shop Too Much said:
“Shopaholics buy for the high they get, the kick of the hunt or the attention paid to them by the staff in the shops who makes them feel important.
“Some say they get sexually aroused by the sound of their credit card machine going back and forth over their Visas.” she wrote.
The only way shopaholics can stop is when they are financially broke.
“Compulsive spending sucks all the joy out of your life”, Jerry Mundis, author of the How to get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt and Live Prosperously” said.
People in debt wake up feeling like they have broken glass in their stomach, afraid to answer their doorbells and phones for fear it may be their creditors running after them. The feeling leaves them greatly depressed, he said.
Am I a Shopaholic Then?
To have an idea if you are a shopaholic and an understanding on how you can stop it, psychotherapist Janet Damon warns that if four or more of the indications below sound an alarm, you may be an addicted:
- You take off for the stores when you have experienced a setback or disappointment or when you feel angry or scared.
- Your spending habits are emotionally disturbing to you and have created chaos in your life.
- When you shop, you feel a rush of euphoria mixed with anxiety,
- You feel you are performing a dangerous , reckless or forbidden act when you shop
- When you return home from shopping, you feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed and/or confused,
- You lie to your family and your friends about what you buy and how much you spend.
- You think much about money, how much you have, how much you owe, how much you wish you had then you go out and shop again.
- You spend a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate your shopping debts.
What To Do Then?
- There is a Spenders Anonymous in some cities and towns. Try to find one, join them and learn from them.
- Ms. Damon recommends that one should work with a financial consultant for you to stem the outflow of cash and correct the damage done in the past.
- There are also credit counseling service centers often in banks and they can also help. However, many say the best thing is knowing how to budget.
My friend had the best answer.
“Don’t go shopping, go window shopping”. Don’t panic when you can not go buying, let the others do the buying and panic later on”.
But I can not do any of the above. I’m jobless and broke and I’m happy for it!
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