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Fatimah is one of many Canadians who chose to convert to Islam in search of peace for their souls. She has learned about Islam from the Qur'an and several Islamic books, and she believes that Islam is the most suitable way of life. She asked Allah to bless her and make her live and practice Islam, not just believe in Islam.
Fatimah looks forward to the day when she starts living with Muslims and learning from them how to live Islam as a way of life. With her white skin, blue eyes, and blond hair, she is the typical dream of many Arab, Middle Eastern, and Far Eastern men, even if she is 55 years old.
"Indeed, I love Ibrahim. He loves me, too. He's an Egyptian working in the US, and he proposed to me," said Fatimah
Ibrahim is 65 years old and already married to another woman. He has two adult children and two grandchildren. His daughter and her husband live with him here in Canada.
"He lets me talk to his wife, and she was so happy and supportive of our marriage," said Fatimah
"Fatimah, are you sure we are talking about an Egyptian woman? Are you sure she is his wife? Is she sick, too old, or something? There is no Egyptian woman — or any woman in the world — who will support her husband in marrying another," I said.
"No, she's fine, and I saw her picture. She looks pretty in her forties. Anyway, this is what happened," she answered.
The Seeker
Eleven years ago, Fatimah went through a critical health problem. She had cancer of a late stage. She had to stay in the hospital for a period of time. In the hospital, she knew a Muslim person who felt sorry for her pain. His name was Ashraf, and he offered to read to her from the Qur'an.
Fatimah did not understand the words he read, but the sound of Qur'an gave her a peaceful feeling. But, as a typical Westerner, she repeated the stereotypical criticisms against Islam, which non-Muslim and Western media promote as the "weak points of Islam": issues related to women's rights, polygamy, divorce, beating women, and so on.
The argument intensified between Ashraf and Fatimah, and Ashraf never gave up while Fatimah continued her attack on Islam. When she got answers for all her questions and queries, she decided to become a Muslim.
"I'm so lucky that I knew Islam from the Qur'an and other Islamic books. Knowing Islam through the Muslims' behavior in the West is not the right thing. They demonstrate a wrong image of Islam, and so do the Islamic countries that they come from," said Fatimah.
She continued, "Sure, there are a lot of good Muslims in Canada, but still, there are a lot of bad people who tried to abuse me and other converts."
Muslims who live in the West face a lot of challenges, but the converts to Islam face different kinds of challenges; they face problems with their families, neighbors, and also other Muslims.
"Converting to Islam, even in Canada, is not that easy, especially in a small town, as most of your neighbors will keep annoying you and try to put you and your family down," said Fatimah
She continued in tears, "My elder sister told me that my cancer is a punishment from God as I converted to Islam and there is no treatment for me till I return to Jesus and Christianity."
"You know, the doctor I used to work for at his private clinic refused to give me the same rate as he paid other non-Muslim girls. He disliked me because I wear hijab while he tries to hire young girls who wear short skirts. Finally, he refused to give me a recommendation letter."
Personal Truths
Muslim communities in the West consist of different groups of people who come from different Islamic countries. Some of them are very good; others are very bad. In addition to what some Canadians who chose to convert to Islam face, new Muslims or even newcomers to the West also have to be very careful; they should not trust anyone.
Female converts face abuse and get affected by misunderstanding Islam and Islamic rulings. They get most of their information about Islam from migrant Muslims, some of whom are good and give the right information whereas others give false information to the convert women so that they can exploit them.
"Imagine! I refused to marry a Pakistani guy, so he spread rumors about me all around the Muslim community, saying that it's forbidden from an Islamic point of view for any Muslim man to marry me because I smoke, was a wife to a Christian person, and had two Christian children. He said that my body is dirty because of those reasons, which is why, according to him, Muslim men are Islamically prohibited to marry me," Fatimah said.
I replied, "I think the person who said such words about you knows nothing about Islam. I believe that he's completely wrong. Where were the other Muslims in the community? Why didn't they refute that?"
She answered in tears, "It's taken me days and nights of crying and searching for the truth and evidence of what he called me, and I found nothing. Till now, I don't know from where he got these so-called rulings."
Muslims in Canada are either migrants, born of migrants, or Western converts. Most immigrants interact with the community by attending prayers, donating to the community for building schools and mosques, and participating in religious, celebratory gatherings.
Those born of migrants in the Westare used to attending prayers and deal with Islam only as a religion. Some of them deal with Islam as a way of life, and they have a lot of confusion as to what they live and see indoors and outdoors.
The Western converts are in the middle — they are lost. Many converts left their families; they live by themselves or with Muslims if they are married. Their families reject them and reject the idea of conversion. On the other hand, the Muslim community accepts them as guests.
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Fatimah showed me some letters from a convert Canadian woman who livedin Saudi Arabia and got married to a well-known Egyptian person. The letters were amazing: The writer described her feelings about Makkah and Madinah. I looked to Fatimah and, before I said a word, she said, "That woman who wrote these nice, sweet words returned to Christianity a few weeks ago. She now has a new boyfriend, and she says bad words about Islam."
Fatimah explained that her friend suffered from her husband, who used his powers to send her to prison when she refused to obey all his orders, no matter what they were. When her friend tried to call some people to help her, they refused as they considered that her husband is a respectable person and that it is her mistake that she failed to cope with a different culture.
She laughed when she remembered when a Muslim guy, Pakistani, proposed to her one day for a temporary marriage called mut`ah marriage, which is mainly practiced by Muslim Shiites. When she reminded him that he was Sunni, he did not deny he was and asked what was wrong with becoming a Shiite for the marriage. That person was her son's age.
I asked Fatimah in shock, "Fatimah, with all what you said, what you suffered, and what you know, how come you believe that Ibrahim will be a good husband for you?"
"I'm lonely. I'm not a young girl any more. I want to feel home. I'll accept that marriage in the way he wants. We'll record that marriage in the mosque only, in the US."
Few months passed, and I forgot all about Fatimah as I became busy with my life in Canada; then one day, my phone rang and I heard Fatimah's voice at the other end.
"He was a liar. Everything was wrong. He wants me to spend my money on him and his daughter and her husband. He has been after my passport and casual relations. It has turned out he didn't have a US citizenship or even a green card," Fatimah said with tears in her voice.
"Fatimah, I won't blame you or remind you of our argument a few months ago, but the only solution for you now is to ask for a divorce," I replied.
"He refused and said he loved me even though I gave him a hard time. When I insisted, he told me that we are not actually married according to Canadian, US, or even Islamic laws. I realized that all what he did is fake, and he said the people from the mosque were just his close friends. He got them to help him," she said.
"Oh My God! Are you sure? You can send him and his friends to jail," I said.
"No, I can't, because according to the Canadian and US laws, he didn't force me to do anything, and according to Islamic law, there is no paper that says we're married. Simply I trusted him and he betrayed me," she sadly explained
I felt sorry for her, and I believed she deserved better treatment than what she faced.
Led by the Blind
Fatimah is a sample of the converts who suffer from many mistakes that occur because of our negligence, whether in our homelands or in the West.
Where is our responsibility toward converts, especially women? Any convert to Islam has to be reminded that the ethics, women's and men's rights, and Islamic rulings in the Qur'an and Islamic literature will not necessarily be found when dealing with some Muslims. This is not because Islam is an inapplicable religion, but because some Muslims are far away from real, practicing Islam. This is the same as in any other religion or culture. We cannot judge religion only by the behavior of its followers. It does happen that many Muslims, mainly Arabs and Far Easterners, try to abuse female converts who are still new to Islam and not knowledgeable enough about it.
Fatimah did not get the right advice in the proper time. Islamic countries, Muslim communities, and Western countries chose to leave the stage for amateurs to provide her and others with advice. Muslim communities in the West and in Islamic countries think that their mission ends once a non-Muslim converts to Islam by pronouncing the Shahadah
On the other hand, we cannot say that converts are not to blame. They sometimes refuse to use their minds to differentiate between good and bad people. They sometimes allow themselves to give trust, regardless of whether the person deserves this trust. They sometimes follow others almost blindly.
We have to admit that there are problems that originate from our countries and continue in the West whereto some of us migrate. In our countries, we care about academic education and forget to increase our knowledge about our religion. When some of us migrate to the West, they may consider ourselves experts in Islam just because we were born Muslim or because we come from a Muslim-majority country; then we start giving Islamic jurisprudential opinions and fatwas.
The worst things happen when sometimes we let an unqualified person act as an imam, especially in the West. Do the Islamic organizations in Islamic countries strengthen their role by sending qualified people to manage the problems that Muslims face in the West? Do embassies of Muslim countries exert any efforts other than building mosques?
The converts who are new to Islam might stumble upon a Lebanese mosque dominated by Lebanese, Shiites, , . They might take what they see for granted and get confused as to what Islam really is, or they might understand that there are different interpretations.
Life and work make us too busy to stay in touch with our friends. One day my wife told me about a popular social networking website called Facebook. I registered there and searched for my old friends. Fatimah's name showed in the list. Questions came to my mind: Is she still a Muslim? Was she strong enough to go on despite all what happened to her? Did she embrace another religion? Did she give up the "idea" of religion?
I do not know! All I know is that Fatimah, a woman I respect, has suffered much stress in her life before and after Islam. She sought peace by converting to Islam. She dreamed about spiritual stability and a strong relationship with Almighty God. But she found herself dealing with people who gave her a wrong impression about Islam, either by taking advantage of her ignorance about Islam, her lack of knowledge or by failing to give her enough advice and support. I feel I am to be put under the latter category.
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