An English `Eid

It is a day when we are happy and concerned that others are happy too.

My first `Eid

My first `Eid was when I was a student before I became Muslim. I used to help a little Muslim boy learn to read. His mum was a great and generous cook. Whenever I went round to listen to her son, she used to stuff me with delicacies like spicy omelette with green chilies and onion. When `Eid came, she picked me up from my college and brought me to her home. It was clear that her `Eid was very busy, indeed, as she breathlessly explained that she had been cooking for half of the night, her husband and sons were at mosque, she hadn't had time to change into a new outfit, and she was having friends visiting in droves. No doubt her cooking made her extra popular!

That first `Eid contained the main ingredients of `Eid as I have seen it celebrated in England by `Eid "experts," that is the Muslims born and raised in Muslim countries: men going to the mosque, women cooking lots of special food, new clothes, and visitors galore. And let us not forget the hoards of excited children dressed up like Eastern princes and princesses, eating mathai (sweets) and receiving money from all their aunties and uncles.

However, when I first became Muslim, I didn't use to enjoy `Eid very much. At that point I didn't know many other Muslims, and none of my family were Muslim. There didn't seem much point celebrating on my own. `Eid was just like any other day to me. There was little acknowledgement or awareness of the festival outside the Muslim community. At that time there were no decorations hung in the shops, no `Eid cards in the shops, no fireworks, no public celebrations, and no mention on the news. It is changing now with public celebrations in London this year sponsored by the Mayor Ken Livingstone. I used to just go to work, grateful that I could eat and drink during the day.

Our first `Eid party

we sometimes decorate the house and we give the children presents that are sometimes clothes.

Fortunately, I did get to know other Muslims. When my eldest child was born, we gave our first `Eid party and invited some Turkish students I had met through work. I thought I would give them an English cultural experience, so I served them a traditional "Sunday dinner" of roast lamb with mashed potatoes and vegetables. I remember they were somewhat puzzled by the mint sauce and gravy accompaniments. They thought the gravy might be chili sauce and they told us they made tea out of mint in Turkey!

As our three girls grew older, we wanted `Eid to feel special for them. We felt we were part of a pioneer generation, breaking with our inherited tradition of Christmas and responsible for creating new family traditions. But how to go about

it? It wasn't possible to just import `Eid from Pakistan. For a start, where would we hire all those aunties and uncles from? It especially seemed important to get it right as at that time `Eid and Christmas were close together. Christmas decorations sparkled our children's eyes, and every well-meaning adult was asking them what Father Christmas was bringing them for Christmas. In fact, Father Christmas caused some problems in playgroup. My daughter told the other children that he wasn't real, and the playgroup teacher quickly insisted that he was. My confused daughter later informed me that the teacher was correct, because Father Christmas had visited their school!

How to Create a happy `Eid

In order to create a happy `Eid, we sometimes decorate the house and we give the children presents that are sometimes clothes, but more often toys and books. In the cities now there are shops selling Islamic books and toys. The most appreciated present ever was a doll dressed in Muslim clothes that I bought for my middle daughter when she was 6. She loved her so much, but unfortunately she left her outside the local shop and wept for days until she was returned. What upset her most, she said, was that her dolly was a Muslim dolly, and if another child found her she wouldn't know and she would take all her clothes off, and the doll wouldn't like it because she was Muslim!

One of our dearest wishes was to be able to take the children to `Eid Prayers so that they could feel part of a community of other Muslims and realize that `Eid is not just about fun and food but about `ibadah (worship) and the remembrance of Allah's blessings upon us. Unfortunately, the tradition of our local mosque is for only males to attend, even on `Eid. Sometimes we traveled some considerable distance to Manchester or Bradford to attend `Eid Prayers at the Arab mosques where women do go. Thanks to the kindness of the organizers of the Bradford `Eid Prayers, all the children receive a small toy as a present. However, traveling to a strange place where you know no one can be nerve-racking, and I long for the day when our children can attend `Eid Prayers at our own local mosque.

Non-Muslims and `Eid

In the afternoons on `Eid days, we normally visit people or go somewhere fun. The children are happy because they get to take a day or two off from school and Dad is home, too — if his work gives him the time off. Sometimes we go to Pakistani Granddad's house, where the kids get a flavor of traditional `Eid complete with aunties and uncles (actually, they are bit scared of the uncles). Sometimes we go round to a friend's house, where we meet up with a variety of people, Muslims, many of them reverts to Islam, and some non-Muslim friends and neighbors. It is very relaxed and great for the kids because they get to meet other Muslim kids from new Muslim families. Sometimes we just go out somewhere fun, or we have `Eid at our house and invite people round.

Recently, our town started to host an `Eid party for the local kids on a day near `Eid. At first it was just for the Muslims, but last year it became an event everyone could go to, with the Muslims providing the food. It had fun activities including a puppet show, and there was a da`wah stall and a display explaining what Islam is about. I thought that was a really nice way for the Muslims to celebrate `Eid, sharing with the wider community. I hope that events such as these will be more common in the future and give the opportunity for non-Muslims to get to know us and the message of Islam, in sha' Allah.

Halima Columbo embraced Islam in 1990. After obtaining a bachelor's degree in philosophy, politics, and economics from Oxford University, she worked as a researcher in local community and economic development, with a particular interest in holistically interpreting and managing social change. She can be reached at European Muslims mail.