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There's a lot of emphasis on the "just accept me as I am" mentality. This way of thinking makes the individual believe that if someone really loves him or her, it does not matter what they say or do, they'll be understood and accepted anyway. But how far is this true?
Any relationship needs us to work hard to build it up and make it strong. But what exactly does that mean? It means that the two people involved in the friendship have to get to know one another's needs; to appreciate each other's qualities, abilities, and interests; to develop trust and confidence after seeing you through many situations; and to heed your loyalty and sincerity.
Our behavior between each other can either nurture the growing bonds, weaken them, or even snap them! Because those bonds between you and your friend took so much effort to form, it is foolish to think of wasting that and destroying your mutual effort with carelessness or rudeness and other negative behavior.
Everyone likes to be treated nicely. Everyone likes to be treated with respect, to feel like someone values them and listens to them, and to be acknowledged as an important member of the human race. Even if a person is suspicious of you or wary and defensive, if you shake hands kindly and in a friendly manner, maintain good eye contact, speak directly and smile, you will have a positive effect on the heart of that person. At least, it will make him or her warm to you and be more receptive to what you might have to say.
So imagine the effect of behaving this way with someone who already likes you. Imagine how it would improve your friendship if you
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Greet that person warmly
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Smile
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Speak in a sincere and friendly way
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Take interest in what the person says
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Are sensitive to body language
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Inquire about the person's health and state of affairs
Treating each other like that nurtures the seeds of love and loyalty. It makes both people want to please each other and maintain the friendship because of the friendship they both share.
Part of being friends with someone is to invite them or receive them into your home. In this case, we have guidelines on how to treat guests and there are boundaries and manners that must be respected so as to preserve the beautiful ties of love, friendship, and respect you both share.
When people (even your friends) visit you in your home, remember that they are on your territory now and so are not at complete liberty to just take whatever they want as they would in their own homes. So bring them a drink and share whatever food you have. Give your guest the most comfortable place to sit and chat and be friendly, giving them special treatment, so that by the time they leave you, they will feel satisfied from hunger and thirst, relaxed and rested, and will feel respected and close to you as a person. In such an atmosphere, your guests may feel secure and open enough to disclose a problem or a concern that you could help them with. And vice versa, when it's your turn to visit, you get the special treatment so each one has a turn of being the giver and the receiver.
How does it feel if you are in someone's home and they claim to be your friend but even if you stay for quite a while, they don't even offer you a glass of water? You would feel the contradiction in what they say and do.
At the same time, there is no need to go overboard and prepare a feast. Going to much expense and effort is not necessary since all that is required is that you share whatever you have and train yourself to be sensitive to the needs of your guests.
One of the greatest blessings of this life is to have a good and faithful friend — someone you feel safe and comfortable with — someone from whom you can expect good treatment and who can expect good treatment from you.
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