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Session Details
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| Guest Name |
IOL Shari`ah Researchers
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| Subject |
General Fatwa Session
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| Date |
Tuesday,Jun 21 ,2005
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Time |
Makkah
From...
13:20...To...
15:30
GMT
From... 10:20...To...12:30
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| Name |
Host
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| Profession |
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| Question |
.
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| Answer |
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Brothers and sisters, the session has already started. You can submit your questions. Please, make your questions short and clear so as to help us answer all your questions.
Yours,
Islam Online Fatwa Editing Desk.
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| Name |
Mary
- United Kingdom
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| Profession |
House Wife
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| Question |
Brother Assalam o Aliakum,
My question is with regards to the sexual relationship of husband and wife. It seems a bit weird but believe in order not to astray/commit sin it is better to ask. I wanted to know whether husband and wife can have oral sex i.e. oral-genital stimulation?
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| Answer |
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In the past few years, there was a heated discussion among Muslim scholars concerning the Islamic ruling regarding oral sex. The conclusion they reached after detailed discussion is that oral sex is not prohibited, but it is not the normal choice for committed Muslims and Muslimahs. It falls within the category of makruh or that which is detestable. That's, despite that oral sex is not haram, it is completely disgusting and does not conform to the pure taste and decency of a Muslim personality.
Moreover, if it is scientifically proven that oral sex or such practices of oral-genital stimulation cause mouth cancer or form a danger on the health of a person who practices it, then it becomes totally prohibited.
You can also read:
Islam's Stance on Oral Sex
Intimate Relations: What is Allowed & What is Not?
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Asif
- United Kingdom
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| Profession |
Accountant
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| Question |
Assalam-o-Allakum,
Brother my question is WHAT IS FATE / TAQDEER / DESTINY? Specially please advise, do we have any control in choosing our spouse? Or as people say that it has already been decided who I am going to marry. If it has been decided then do we have any responsibility if the marriage does not work?
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| Answer |
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
The word “fate” or "Qadar" means “the power that determines the outcome of events before they occur”. Muslims believe in Allah and only Allah has the power to predetermine anything. Allah is “al-Qadir” (the All Powerful or Omnipotent) and “al-`Alim” (the All Knower, Omniscient). Since Allah has power over every thing, He must know everything. He must know things before they happen, because if He knew things only after they happened, He would not have full power over them. Allah not only knows everything, but He also decides and determines everything in His universe. Whatever happens in this world happens according to Allah’s decision and plan. In Islamic terminology this principle is known as “al-qada’ wa al-qadar”(the decision and determination of Allah). It is a very important principle of iman (faith).
This means that what Allah wills is, and what He wills not is not. Not a glance of one who looks, or a slip of one who thinks is outside His will. He is the Creator, the Bringer back, the Doer of that which He wills.’
But this does not mean that we have no freedom to plan, choose and select. We do all these things and we are responsible for our actions.
So it is correct that the marriages happen by the will of Allah and by His decisions in the heaven, because He has created us and He has given us all the power to think, plan and decide. But it is also our decision and our plan because we choose by the freedom that He has given us and we are responsible for our choices and our freedom. Allah makes decision according to His freedom, which is infinite and unlimited. We make decision according to our freedom, which is finite and limited, but it does exist. (He will not be questioned as to that which He does, but they will be questioned.) (Al-Anbiya’: 23)
All in all, believing that marriage is pre-destined by Allah does not mean that one should not use one's reason or experience. Whenever there is a marriage proposal, we should try all our rational thinking and put together all the positives and negatives, evaluate every thing. In the meantime, as the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, told us, we should turn to Allah and seek His help. He alone knows all the hidden things and only He has the perfect knowledge of the future. He has power to make things easy for us and guide us to right decisions. This one can do by making Istikharah Prayer.
You can also read:
Divine Predestination & Man's Free Will
Qualities to Look for in a Spouse
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Ebe
- South Africa
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| Profession |
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| Question |
Some mosques in SA, do the salaah of Jumu'a and afterwards the salaah of Zuhr. Is this in line with the Shari`ah, and what is the supplication for each one (Fard or Sunnah salaah)?
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| Answer |
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thank you for your question.
On Friday, Muslims must offer the Jumu`ah Prayer only as the obligatory Prayer on that day instead of Zhuhr Prayer. They do not have to offer the normal Zhuhr Prayer after they perform the Jumu`ah Prayer.
As for the sunnah Prayers which are offered after or before Zhuhr Prayers, they are two rak`ahs before and two rak`ah after; this is the confirmed Sunnah. However, one can pray four before and four after the Zuhr Prayer.
You can also read:
What Makes Jumu`ah a Virtuous Day
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Sana
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| Profession |
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| Question |
From childhood, I have observed that my own relatives avoid me whenever anything good comes to them. Example if my brother gets an increment, he won't tell me about it, though he asks me to pray for him. And I have prayed to Allah that he gets an increment for so many times, and have been doing so without knowing that he actually got it. Also when my brother's wife delivered a son, I was kept at home. When I would ask them to take me to the hospital, they make lame excuses and keep me at home. I sensed that they think I have an evil eye or something. There are many instances like these wherein my own family avoids me. In such a situation I feel so hurt, as to why my own parents, brothers and sisters are doing this to me. I cry and pray to Allah, and wonder whey He has done this to me, if really I have an evil eye, like their happiness will get spoilt because of me. In fact I feel so overjoyed for all of them when anything good comes their way and always pray to Allah for their good. Never in my heart or mind anything bad has come for them. Please help.
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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thanks for your question, and we implore Allah to guide us all to the best both in this world and in the Hereafter.
Our advice to you, dear brother, is to remain kind and dutiful to all your relatives in spite of the reactions. With regard to their undesirable reactions, please keep doing that which is good as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: “The one who interacts with people and endures their evil is better than the one who does not interact with them or endure their evil.”
Moreover, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is also reported to have said, "Al-Wasil (one who maintains good relations with his kin) is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who have severed the bond of kinship with him." (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
Thus, remain kind and dutiful to them, and avoid imposing yourself unless they willingly invite you as when we prefer to be dark horses, we will be more close to gain Allah's reward.
Our last advice to you is to tell yourself that I am doing such and such for Allah's sake, I pray to Allah to grant them such and such for Allah's sake, and I expect the reward from the real Giver (Allah) as He alone is the One Who can compensate me for whatever sacrifice I make.
You can also read:
Maintaining Kinship Ties Regardless of Family Response
Islam’s Care for Ties of Kinship
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
murad
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| Profession |
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| Question |
What is meant by ibaadah, and shirk?
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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
As far as Islamic Shari`ah is concerned, `ibadah (worship) in Islam means to devote your life to Allah. It means that you follow Allah's guidance in all aspects of your life. Almighty Allah says, (Say (O Muhammad) my prayer, my sacrifice, my life and my death belong to Allah; He has no partner and I am ordered to be among those who submit, i.e. Muslims.) (Al-An`am: 162-163)
So, worship in Islam is an all inclusive term for all that Allah loves of external and internal sayings and actions of a person." In other words, worship is everything one says or does for the pleasure of Allah. This, of course, includes rituals as well as beliefs, social activities, and personal contributions to the welfare of fellow human beings.
As for shirk, it means associating other partners with Allah, the Almighty. Scholars have divided it into two categories: major shirk or kufr and minor shirk. Elaborating on what is meant by shirk, you are recommended to read:
The Difference between Kafir and Mushrik?
The True Concept of Kufr
You can also read:
Observing Moderation in Worship
Significance of Worship in Islam
Worship in Islam: Concept & Fruits
Acts of Worship: Lost Their Power of Influence?
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Joseph
- United States
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| Profession |
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| Question |
My wife and I have had problems in our marriage for many years. It has gotten to the point where we need to seek professional help through a counselor.
Alhamdulillah, we found a Muslim counselor and have been going to therapy for around 1.5 years now. The counselor has informed me that our case is a long-term case.
My question is, am I allowed to not have children during this time of therapy? Alhamdulillah, my wife and I already have 2 kids. However, I still think there is a reasonable chance we will get divorced, so I don't want to have any more children for the time being.
Thank you for your time.
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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thank you for your question.
We implore Allah to alleviate your sufferings and solve all your problems with your wife.
It is a good idea to seek the help of a Muslim counselor. We are sure he will help you a lot till you find a solution to all your problems. If you find the therapy you are following will bring about good results why do not you hope for the best and strengthen your relation with your wife by having more children. Forget about the idea of separation. Ask Allah sincerely to make your life happier. Think of the future of your kids while you are divorced and think about it while you are living under the same ceiling.
Read also:
Divorce Should Be the Final Resort
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Maha
- Sudan
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| Profession |
Admissions Counselor
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| Question |
Al Salamu Aalykum Wa Rahmatu Allah Wa Barakatuhu
Are the Muslim Women allowed to wear only black colors? Is it true that coloured dresses are haram and is it true that women can not shake hands with men as it is haram? What can Muslim women do if they are working?
Jazakum Al Lahi Khiran
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| Answer |
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thanks for your important question, and we beseech Allah to grant us all insight to understand the teachings of Islam.
Muslim women are permitted to wear colors other than the black one. There is no stated evidence in Islam mentioning that Muslim women should be dressed in black colors. However, the color of the woman's dress in public should be a color that is known to be worn by women and not men according to the custom of the country where the woman lives. In addition, the woman's garment should not be an adornment in itself in order to save herself from being attracted to men.
Moreover there are certain conditions that are necessary for the dress of the Muslim woman to render it an Islamic one. Those conditions can be summarized as follows:
1. It should cover her whole body except face and hands.
2. It should be loose-fitting.
3. It should not be transparent or revealing.
4. It should not be an attire specifically worn by men only.
Above all, the dress in which all the above conditions are observed is known as the Islamic Hijab. Such Islamic Hijab is a necessary attire for Muslim women, especially in public.
As for the other issues you raised in the question, we advise you to read the following related fatwas:
Shaking Hands with a Non-Mahram
Shaking Hands with Women: An Islamic Perspective
Women and Work in Public
You can also read:
Must a Muslim Woman Be Dressed in Black?
How Should a Muslim Woman Conduct Herself?
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
sami
- Morocco
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| Profession |
teacher
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| Question |
Sometimes an organization or a company makes a competition for a prize, the winner is chosen by "quraa" is this "halal"?
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| Answer |
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thanks a lot for your question.
In fact, we do prefer that you submit your question to Ask The Scholar page or to the Financial Live Fatwa session with Dr. Monzer Kahf, who is an expert in the field of Islamic economy.
Sorry for any inconvenience.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Sami
- India
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| Profession |
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| Question |
I know we cannot perform prayers if we apply perfumes containing alcohol. I want to know whether we can perform the prayers after taking a ghusl? (If we had used an alcohol based perfume).
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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear brother Sami, thanks a lot for your question which is a sign of your good faith and keenness to abide by the teachings of Islam. May Allah reward you and accept your Prayer.
As far as perfumes containing alcohol is concerned, they consist of many ingredients like water, perfume, and alcohol that comprises the highest percentage. According to the Shari`ah, there is nothing wrong in using alcohol based perfumes bearing into consideration that being prohibited does not render something impure, perfumes that contain alcohol are pure.
Having said this, there is nothing wrong in performing Prayer while applying alcohol based perfumes before or after ghusl (purificatory bath) or wudu' (ablution).
You can also read:
Alcohol-Based Perfumes
Do I Need to Make Wudu' after Ghusl?
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Muslim
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| Profession |
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| Question |
Is it allowed to for a husband to call his wife "a prostitute" during intimacy if the wife likes to be called so?
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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thank you for your question.
The general rule is that a Muslim is a person of a clean heart and tongue. He never utters words of obscenity or vulgarity, since the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "The believer does not slander, curse, or speak in an obscene or foul manner."
If a husband and wife found it attractive to them during intercourse to say some words that are not up to the standard (i.e., they cannot be said in public) with the intention of provoking their desire, it is permissible for them to do so as long as they do not utter them in any other situation and they are sure that no one will hear them.
Read also:
Mutual Expression of Love Between the Spouses
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
maha
- Sudan
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| Profession |
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| Question |
Al Salamu Alaykum
I asked a question earlier about photography and taking family pictures and hanging them on the bedroom wall. Thankfully, I received an answer to confirm that there is nothing wrong in having family pictures for the purpose of memoirs. But I am still told by sheikhs in the mosque that it is totally haram as per so many Hadiths of the Prophet Mohammed (PBBUH). They also said that any house that has pictures, the Angles will not enter it. And a Hadith that says all photographers are cursed.
Please help me as I am very confused. Jazakum Allahi Khairan
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| Answer |
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thanks for your comment, and we really appreciate your feedback and keen interest to know the truth.
In the Fatwa sent to you, we stated that photography is a controversial issue, and we also stated that as long as there is no feeling of reverence, then there is nothing wrong with having the family photographs especially when you stated that the photographs there are just for memoirs.
As to the hadith you referred to, we can say that some contemporary Muslim scholars state that it doesn't refer to the normal photographs and pictures that we have in our homes nowadays. But it rather refers to the statues of animals and sculptures of human beings and other animate objects that some people have as a show of luxury in their homes.
In addition, we can add that the reference to angels in the Prophet's hadith is so specific to include the angels of mercy as other angels are there according to the opinion of scholars in this case.
With all this in mind, we can say that in such debatable matters, we should choose the opinion which best suits us and we should consider that the truth and wisdom should be followed by the Muslim anywhere. Muslims will remain diverse in their approaches. Some of them will stick to the textual interpretation of `Abdullah Ibn `Umar who was known for his literal interpretation to the texts of the Qur'an and the Sunnah, and still there are others who follow the line of `Ibn `Abbas who was known to be inclined more to giving space to his reasoning in interpreting the texts.
You can also read:
Erecting Statues for Leaders: `Ulama’s Views
Photographing Souls: Possible?
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Nadeem
- Spain
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| Profession |
Engineer
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| Question |
My wife and her parents lied about her educational qualification (they told she is BA but she is matric), age (they showed as 5 years younger than her real age) and eye sight (she uses eye glasses which I did not know before marriage) before the marriage. Now, after 2 years of marriage, I discovered their lies and they confessed. Please tell me what to do now. I am very upset. I am Engineer, M.Sc. (Hon.)
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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thank you for your question.
When choosing a partner one should focus on the religious factor and make it his first priority in the selection. Language, cultural background, and social position are important factors that should not be totally ignored. BUT, it is not an absolute must that partners be matched on all these points before a marriage can take place.
Now after two years of marriage, is there any harm inflicted on you because of her age or educational background? Is not she of good manners? How do you see your life with her? Are you happy or not? A woman of a low educational background might be better than a Ph.D holder. If she is of good character, with a strong religious inclination, and you are happy and feel compatible with each another, other considerations are of lesser importance.
What you should be upset for is their lie since the very beginning. Marriage matters should be built on frankness and deceit must be avoided. However, if you could forgive her, and help her start a new leaf and let bygone be bygone, it will be good in shaa' Allah.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Waseem
- United Kingdom
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| Profession |
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| Question |
Is it important to call yourself a Salafi as I have been told that the one who still follows the correct way of Prophet Muhammad and his companions are the saved sect so it's important to distinguish yourself from the rest as the Prophet stated the saved one would be Ahl-sunnah wal-Jammah/Salafi?
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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
What is really important is that you stick to your own identity as a Muslim. Allah Almighty says, (…He hath named you Muslims of old time and in this (Scripture), that the messenger may be a witness against you, and that ye may be witnesses against mankind…) (Al-Hajj 22: 78)
Thus, we should stick to the name Allah named us; Muslims. We are Muslims in every age and clime. We should avoid all routes leading to disunity and disintegration amongst us.
You can also read:
Which Muslim Group Will be the Saved One?
The Salafi Sect
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
muslem
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| Profession |
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| Question |
As-salamu `alaikum. Is it prohibited to have sex with my wife from behind? Can you explain more about this issue?
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| Answer |
Wa`alaykum As-Salaamu Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thank you for your question.
It is to be noted that sexual intercourse is just a lust and passion that must be satisfied in a lawful way. Therefore, all sexual acts that aim at satisfying and pleasing the spouses are allowable with the exception of anal sex and having sex with a wife during her menstrual period. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Do not have anal sex with women."
For details on anal sex, read this fatwa:
Islamic Ruling on Anal Sex
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
mehammad
- Egypt
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| Profession |
translator
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| Question |
Peace be upon you, I proposed to a religious girl. Her father and her mother seem to agree. I am praying regularly thanks to God. But when I went to see her, she asked me about keeping of the Qur'an and the Tajweed of the Qur'an and `itikaf. My question is a religious man judged by his Tajweed or his `itikafor what?
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Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear brother in Islam, thanks a lot for your question and we ask Allah Almighty to provide you with a good spouse and happy marital life that is based on piety, affection, and mercy.
It should be clear that a Muslim should seek a righteous spouse for marriage. Religion and good character should be the top concern of every Muslim when looking for a spouse. This is compatible with the Prophet's guidance: “If a person of acceptable religion and character presents himself for marriage, marry him, otherwise, there would be widespread sedition and rampant corruption in the land.”
Therefore, a Muslimah is best advised to concern herself first of all with the morals and characters of the would-be husband, in sha' Allah. For more information regarding the qualities one should look for in the spouse, you can read the following fatwa:
Qualities to Look for in a Spouse
Moreover, she is highly encouraged to offer Istikharah Prayer to seek Allah's guidance before taking any decisions.
Having stated the above, it should be clear that a religious person cannot be judged as such by only memorizing the Qur'an, knowing the tajweed rules, and performing i`tikaf. A religious person in Islam is the one who is keen to abide by Islam in all aspects of his life.
All in all, a Muslim woman may have certain qualities for her prospective spouse and that is why she is asking about them. This is her right to ask about the qualities she wishes in her would-be life-partner.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Jowhar
- India
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| Profession |
Engineer
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| Question |
Is it required to perform Funeral Prayer and burial for a baby who was born without life (very small size)? Abortion took place before 6 months.
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| Answer |
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thank you for your question.
If the fetus was more than 120 days when it was miscarried, then it is to be washed, shrouded and prayed for. It is also to be given a name.
If the dead fetus is less than four months, it should not be washed and the Funeral Prayer should not be offered on it. It is to be wrapped in a piece of cloth and buried because it is a part of a human being and should be honored as a human being.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Muslima
- United Kingdom
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| Profession |
doctor
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| Question |
I know that Islam has given women freedom of choice regarding issues of marriage, but I'm still in a bit of a dilemma and need advice. My family want me to marry a cousin and I don't want to marry because I don't like him.
As far as I know, he is not practising Islam that much, and there are a lot of other reasons for me not appealing to him. I just have a feeling that I'll end up looking down on him the rest of my life, and I won't be able to make the marriage work. My family want me to marry him because there is no other cousin for me to marry. They are afraid that by not marrying me to him the family will fall apart. I would appreciate your advice on the matter immensely.
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| Answer |
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
One of the main duties upon man is to be dutiful to his parents because Allah the Almighty says: (Thy Lord has decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not ‘Fie’ unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.) (Al-Israa’: 23).
However, parents are not allowed to force their children to marry someone they don’t wish to. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has categorically stated, “A woman who is never married before cannot be given in marriage without her consent; while a woman who is married before cannot be given in marriage without her order!”
Thus, according to the teachings of Islam, marriage is ultimately left to your own personal choice. Parents can at best only offer you advice or suggestions based on their own personal experience or preferences. You are either free to accept them or reject them.
In light of the above, while you are obliged to obey your parents in matters that belong to their rights, they have no right to force you to marry someone you don’t like to marry. For marriage is a life-long partnership, and, therefore, you have the right to choose your partner. So, try to keep good ties with your parents and seek their pleasure and make du`aa’ (supplication) for them under all circumstances and do not forget to perform Istikharah Prayer and act accordingly.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
Mohammad Imran
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| Profession |
Accountant
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| Question |
I read somewhere that saying the intention before prayers is bid'ah. Kindly clarify with hadeeth, if possible.
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| Answer |
Wa`alaykum As-Salaamu Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thank you for your question.
Uttering the intention in prayer is a controversial issue among the Muslim scholars. Imam Abu Hanifah maintains that uttering the intention is an act of bid`ah. The Malikis do not recommend it except when one thinks that he will most probably suffer from Satanic insinuation. In this case, uttering the intention is strongly recommended. The Shafi`is hold the view that it is recommendable to pronounce the intention by the tongue.
As you see some scholars recommend it and others do not, you can choose from the aforementioned opinions what you deem proper in your case and there will be no harm insha'a Allah and may Allah accept your Prayers.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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| Name |
W-
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| Profession |
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| Question |
Can you please tell me what is the greater sin: being remiss as a guardian in protecting a child or falsely accusing someone of a grave sin?
To be more specific...(may Allah protect our children, ameen). If as a parent you think that your child is being abused (emotionally/sexually or otherwise) by a family member (because a once happy child has become fearful, wakes up at night screaming with nightmares and wets the bed, at the same time becomes overy-attached yet extremely fearful of the person that you suspect etc) yet you as a parent cannot break off contact with this person but your gut instinct knows it's true-what do you do? Can you confront this person, or must you wait until you have 4 reliable witnesses?
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Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thanks for your question, and we beseech Allah to end your child's problem.
As parents, our primary role is to keep a caring and watchful eye on our kids. They are the prime of our life and our extended presence on this earth. They should be given due care and they should be kept away from all sources of harm whether psychological or physical.
In the case in point, we see that you should:
1. Keep your child away from that family member towards him you are smelling rats!.
2. Gradually teach your child how to react in such situations, and this can be done through consulting a specialist in such issues.
3. Send an indirect advice to that family member about the fact that harming kids or abusing them in any way is a prohibited act and a bizzare behavior.
4. Be attached to your child and keep being close to him all the time especially when that family member tends to approach him.
5. Tell your wife to help you in this regard, and try to compensate your child and provide him with all sources of love, care and emotions.
Thus, the best solution is to deal with the issue wisely and to avoid direct confrontation to the best of your ability.
For help you can contact Cyber Counselor
Allah Almighty knows best.
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In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
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Yours,
Islam Online Fatwa Editing Desk.
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