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Name
Wess
-
Profession
Question
What does cyber sex mean?
Answer
Thank you for your question. Essentially, when we are talking about the subject of cyber sex, we are talking about the idea of sexual arousal via the internet using an online chat program, for example. Hope this helps you.
Name
ria
-
Profession
Question
Assalamualaikum..
Only would like to know if a woman has been married twice, his first husband died and she remarried and have loved both husbands very dearly, in the hereafter which spouse will be her mate there.
Answer
Losing a loved one is traumatic. We make du'a for this woman and ask Allah Most High to grant her comfort and solace and to strengthen her Iman. Ameen.
We are glad that she has remarried. It is possible that she loves both her husbands dearly. Just because her first husband died, it does not mean that her love for him would disappear. We know well the fond memories that the Prophet Muhammad sal allahu alayhi wasallam had for his first wife, hadrath Khadija, radhi allahu anha. We read in Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 58, Number 164, that 'Aisha radhi allahu anha said, "I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet as much as I did of Khadija (although) she died before he married me, for I often heard him mentioning her, and Allah had told him to give her the good tidings that she would have a palace of Qasab (i.e. pipes of precious stones and pearls in Paradise), and whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would send her women-friends a good share of it."
We cannot however answer your question as to which of the spouses will be her mate in the akhira because that knowledge is only with Allah Most High. Allah knows best.
Name
Haytham
-
Profession
Question
As-salamu Alaykum;
First I would like to thank you for the effort that you are doing to help all people who need help. Well I have a problem which I think it concerns a lot of our youth. My problem is that I am addicted to porn sites, masturbation for a long time now. I tried to give up many times by many ways, sometimes I succeed out but most of the time I don’t. I am going to get married soon, but I fear this relation because I think I have sexual problems. I am not sure of this if it is true or not but I think this feeling comes because I watch porn videos a lot. There is another problem because I see males have large organs that last for a long time when they are excited and mine doesn’t exceed 13 or 14 cm when I am excited. This problem is disturbing me a lot because I don’t want to hurt the girl I love and want to marry. Please let me know, I pray regularly and read Qur’an and this is my only sin. So please help me to stop what I am doing and please tell me if I am normal or not and what to do.
Thanks in advance.
Answer
Thank you for your question.
You write that you are "addicted" to porn sites and "masturbation for a long time now." We want you to reflect on a few points insha'allah.
First,think about what arouses you or leads you to masturbation. You are actually looking at other men and women engaging in unlawful sexual acts. Imagine what you are doing to your eyes by exposing them to such forbidden content! The most obvious step to take is to completely get restrain from exposure to such stimuli. Even if shaitan should tempt you to look at such material, resist and seek refuge in Allah from shaitan.
Second, remind yourself how you feel immediately after you masturbate. Think about the feelings of shame and guilt that you experience. Do not make light of these feelings because over time, not processing these feelings will cause them to accumulate and cause you both emotional and psychological pain.
Third, you are quite right to be worried about your relationship with your wife since you are going to be married soon. Allah Most High in His mercy has granted men and women the ability to marry and to meet their sexual desires in a halal, permissible manner. When you masturbate, you focus on pleasing yourself only and you do it through exposing your eyes to sinful content. Once you get married, it will be natural for you to have those images from the porn sites in your head. What you see on those porn sites is people being paid to sin so that they can in turn entertain you.
You will compare what you have watched with what you are experiencing with your wife to be. You will put unfair pressure on your wife to engage in acts that you have seen on those sites. That is just pure wrong. Those sinners are acting, they are pretending to have the greatest sexual xperiences in the world just so that hey can entertain you. Your elationship with your wife cannot have ny link to what you see on those sinful sites. Your future wife deserves to treated with dignity and respect, with love and mercy. There is nothing dignified or respectful in the sinful behavior you are now engaging. Please stop it.
Finally, we think you should not be so concerned about the size and shape of neither your private parts nor those of your future wife. We urge you to not especially compare what you watch on those sinful sites to real life. What you watch is not real life, it is acting and those sinners should never be a basis for comparison to anything in your real life. Prepare for marriage by changing your life totally and stopping both visiting those sites and masturbating. And Allah knows best.
I am a 19 year old girl. I am suffering from NEUROFIBEROMATOSIS type 1. As a doctor you know what is it.I am very depressed. It's different kind of marks.It causes purple spots on the body. Please tell me.I am depressed I cannot study and my exams are starting.I have prayed to Allah a lot.I am never going to get married. What wil be my future? Will it be dark?
Answer
Thank you for your question.
We understand the challenges associated with neurofibermatosis type 1. Along with the spots and the tumors (lumps), unfortunately, you will also experience difficulties in learning and in speech. We are not medical doctors and seek your forgiveness because we prefer to refer you to a medical doctor who can help you.
As for the depression, we can only urge you to do your best to accept that whatever we are tested with in life is from Allah Most High. You are depressed because you are conscious about the purple marks on your body. Yes, of course no one would like to see such marks on one's body but such is the will of Allah that you are being tested with neurofibermatosis. But in Islam, we know that even though you have this disease, you can still be grateful to Allah that you have type 1 and not type 2. You know well that people suffering from type 2 can even go deaf or blind! Subhannallah.
When these feelings of depression overcome you, we suggest strongly that you turn to Allah and seek His guidance, His support and His strengthening of your Iman insha'allah. If the depression is such that you are not able to function with daily life, then we suggest that you seek professional counseling. It is recommended highly that people suffering from a disease which causes them to be depressed, should seek out counseling so that they can process their feelings of anger and frustration. Please visit a counselor soon insha'allah.
As for marriage, we suggest that you first focus on getting over your depression. Get the best medical attention you can so that there is also a diagnosis as to your case. Once you have an accurate diagnosis, you can try your best to talk to your parents about marriage. Of course it is best that your parents tell the marriage candidate about your condition so that he is in a better position to decide what he would like to do insha'allah. We realize this is very difficult on your and we make du'a that you will `insha'Allah receive the healing and recovery that can only be granted by the best of Healers and that is Allah! And Allah knows best.
Name
abdelnacer
- Thailand
Profession
bisenesmane
Question
The dua'a after the second rakat (rounds) in subha salat is sunnat?
Answer
Please write back during the Live Fatwa Session `insha'allah. This session is for counseling.
I believe that the fact that cyber-sex is so prevalent today amongst Muslims especially within the Muslim countries is because the net is one of the easiest and 'safest' pathways that allows the practice and experience of illicit sex compared to other haram sex-related outlets.
To your knowledge has there been any studies done yet concerning the matter from an Islamic perspective, and would I be right in assuming that Muslim men are more prone to such a practice that women today?
Shukran
Answer
Thank you so much for your comments. While it may seem "safe" to engage in cybersex because it is easier than other "haram sex-related outlets," we disagree. Any form of illicit sex should not be prevalent, whether in person or via a Cyber cafe! To our knowledge, there have not been studies done yet on the involvement of Muslims in cybersex. We are not denying that some Muslims are engaged in cyber sex.
As for your assumption that perhaps Muslim men are more prone to such a practice than women today, we agree but not for the same reasons you might think. We do think more Muslim men might be more prone to engage in cybersex perhaps because of the possibility that women either have lesser access to the internet or are not nearly as shameful in their conduct via the internet.
What is interesting is that the Cyber Counselor service received approximately 56% of the questions came from women in 2003. women! More women than men used the internet to communicate their concerns regarding relationships, family and so many other issues in general.
Again, we do not have the research to address specific issues you are raising but we thank you for writing to us with this important topic. And Allah Knows Best.
Name
Iyad
-
Profession
Question
As-salamu alaykum..
What is the shariah (Islamic Law) opinion on the credit cards(Visa,Masters etc....)?
Note that most of nowadays financial payments require this cards.
As most of us know cybersex is ruining the individual and family lives of not just non-muslims but Muslims as well. So far this phenomenon seems unstoppable especially considering that its main driver is Internet which is not going to go away.
My question is what are the practical ways we can save our (Muslim) families in general and children in particular from this storm of the devil?
Jazak-Allah!
--Wasim
Answer
Thank you so much for your excellent question. The problem has never really been the internet or any form of technology actually but rather the uses of the technology. The internet masha'Allah has such tremendous potential for Muslims to take advantage of, for example. This live dialog you and I are having! However, what is at the root of the problem is that our fellow Muslims who do engage in cybersex are actually far from the understanding of Islamic teachings. It does not matter if there is internet or not. If there was no internet, they would find an alternative way to satisfy their desires.
Dr. Muzammil Siddiqui, one of the IOL scholars has connected cyber-sex and zina (fornication) and writes:
"Zina according to shari`ah is an illicit sexual intercourse. Thus pre-marital sex, extra marital sex and homosexuality are all considered zina according to Islamic law. Zina is a major sin. It is absolutely forbidden.
Islam does not only forbid illicit sexual intercourse, but also forbids anything that leads to this sin and crime. 'cyber sex', 'phone sex', etc. are those activities that can lead to zina. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: 'The eyes commit zina, the hands commit zina and feet commit zina and the genitals commit zina.' (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith #4258) In another version, he is reported to have said that 'the genitals confirm or deny it.' (indicating that starring at opposite sex in a lustful way has a spontaneous effect on the genitals and may induce person to commit zina)
Thus, Muslims should avoid all avenues to zina. Allah, Most High, says:
'Do not even come close to zina. It is a shameful deed and an evil way.' (Al-Isra': 32) So Allah, in the Qur’an, not only prohibits zina, but He also prohibits even coming close to it."
Some practical ways to stop Cybersex from infecting our families and our children are as follows:
1) Educate children about the harm of using the internet for anything but academic and some game usage.
2) Place controls on the display of pornographic content using various software programs available
3) Realize that Cybersex begins with at least one chat with a stranger. So the best way to stop would be to stop chatting with strangers about topics that are clearly displeasing to Allah.
4) Educate our children to not chat via the internet. You should also not let children have their own private email accounts or screennames for chats. Make sure to monitor those email accounts and chat sessions if the children have them.
5) Make du'a. This is the most practical way although the outcome of the du'a will be by the will of Allah!
And Allah knows best.
Name
amir
-
Profession
Question
Does cybersex comes under the category of zina (fornication?
Answer
Yes. Please read the following excellent response by Dr. Muzammil Siddiqui, one of the IOL scholars:
Wa `alaykum As-salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear brother in Islam, we are really impressed by your question which shows how far you are concerned about the teachings of Islam and your interest to abide by the shari`ah (Islamic law) in all details of your life. May Allah help us all lead a righteous life based on Islam!
Islam is a religion of chastity and morality. It aims at building a solid society on bases of purity, modesty, morals, and good manners. By the same token, Islam blocks all ways that lead to evil to the extent that Muslim jurists adopt a juristic principle that reads: What is conductive to haram (unlawful) is itself haram.
As far as the issue of "cyber sex or phone sex" is concerned, we'd like to cite the following fatwa issued by Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America:
"Zina according to Shari`ah is illicit sexual intercourse. Thus pre-marital sex, extra marital sex and homosexuality are all considered zina according to Islamic law. Zina is a major (kabirah sin; It is absolutely forbidden.
Islam does not only forbid illicit sexual intercourse, but also forbids anything that leads to this sin and crime. 'Cyber sex', 'phone sex', etc. are those activities that can lead to zina. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
'The eyes commit zina, the hands commit zina and feet commit zina and the genitals commit Zina.' (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith #4258) In another version, he is reported to have said that 'the genitals confirm or deny it.' (indicating that starring at opposite sex in a lustful way has a spontaneous effect on the genitals and may induce person to commit zina)
Thus, Muslims should avoid all avenues to zina. Allah, Most High, says:
'Do not even come close to zina. It is a shameful deed and an evil way.' (Al-Isra': 32) So Allah, in the Qur’an, does not only prohibit zina, but He also prohibits even coming close to it."
Excerpted, with slight modification, form: http://pakistanlink.com/religion/2001/0413.html
You can also read:
"The Prohibition of Approaching Zina"
May Allah help us all lead a righteous life, Amen!
Allah Almighty Knows Best.
Name
O
-
Profession
Question
As-salamu alaykum
Can you please tell me - I've learned that a pious muslim wife will get to be with her most pious husband(in case she married more than once) in the Hereafter if they are both good Muslima in this life. Then what happens to a good muslim woman who doesn't have a husband in this life(not by choice) ?
Also, what if all your family are not Muslim and only you are Muslim? In the Hereafter will you get to be with your family then? Is that the way? Thank you very much for reading my questions.
May Allah bless you all.
Answer
Thank you so much for your question. We would like to refer you to the Islamic scholars who are available to answer very specific questions about what will and what will not happen in the Hereafter. Our services are limited to counseling.
Please visit either the "Ask the Scholar" section or the "Live Fatwa" section and submit your question `insha'Allah. And Allah Knows best.
Name
Shiraz Mahmood
- Sri Lanka
Profession
programmer
Question
Is it permiseble in sharia to invest in Gold Quest business?
Answer
Please write back during the page: Ask the Scholar`insha'Allah, or try the the page: Financial Issues. This session is for counseling.
Name
SHAH
- Pakistan
Profession
TEACHING
Question
As-salamu alaykum
Sir, what should we do when a person is very upset to fulfil his sexual desires without his wife? What is the remedy is Islam?
Answer
Shrillah
Mustafa Az-zarqa has answered this question as follows:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear brother in Islam, we would like to thank you for showing keenness on learning the teachings of Islam, and we appreciate the great confidence you have in us. We hope our efforts meet your expectations...
With regard to your question, it is very important as it touches a problem for most Muslim youth, who are yet to get married and are facing due to the great deal of temptation surrounding them. As you know, masturbation is perfectly acceptable in non-Muslim societies and is practiced by large number of people: young, single, old, and even married. However, the situation is different in Islam. The ruling on masturbation is governed by some considerations that might change the ruling from one person to another."
"The late prominent scholar Sheikh Mustafa Az-Zarqa, may Allah bless his soul, has analyzed the issue of masturbation in detail and, after discussing the different views of scholars and jurists regarding it, issued the following fatwa:
“The only legal text used as evidence for the prohibition of masturbation is Allah’s saying describing the believers:
“Those who guard their sexual organs except with their spouses or those whom their right hands possess, for (with regard to them) they are without blame. But those who crave something beyond that are transgressors.” (Al-Mu'mun: 5-7)
Commenting on this verse, some scholars hold the view that this habit (masturbation) falls under the category of those who seek fulfillment of their sexual desires outside the framework of marriage, and as such they are deemed transgressors. Those scholars put masturbation under the list of the forbidden categories of sexual fulfillment since it constitutes transgression of boundaries. This view is held by the Shafi`ites (followers of the Shafi`i school of Fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence).
However, some other scholars believe that the transgression meant in the aforementioned verse refers to extra-marital relations and what falls under the category of zina (fornication). According to this view, masturbation does not fall under the meaning of this verse. This view is very close to the opinion held by the Hanafites (followers of the Hanafi school), who maintain that masturbation is basically forbidden, but it may be permissible under the following conditions:
1. if the person is unmarried,
2. if he or she fears that without masturbation he/she will commit zina, and
3. if the masturbation here is, rather than fulfilling a sexual desire, just to release the sexual tension resulting from stimulation.
I conclude that the general principles of Shari`ah go against this habit, because it is not the normal way of fulfilling sexual desire; however it is a deviation – and that is enough to condemn it, even though this act does not fall under the category of absolute prohibition like Zina. However, the law of necessity, which is one of the principles of Shari`ah, should also apply here. For example, if someone is afraid that he would commit a greater sin like Zina or he will be harmed by some psychological disorders, then the ban on masturbation would be relaxed just to remove the hardship, based on the Shari`ah principle that states that “necessity is judged according to the circumstances that warrant it.”
That means going to the extreme in masturbating is not permissible in all cases, for the following two reasons:
1. it would be resorted to not as a case of extreme necessity to release the tension and the pain resulting from sexual arousal, but to fulfill the sexual desire, and
2. it is harmful to one's health, and whatever is physically harmful is not allowed in shari`ah, according to the consensus of the Muslim scholars.
In addition to the two conditions stipulated by the Hanafites, I would add two more conditions based on the general rules of shari`ah:
1. the difficulty of getting married, and
2. The inability to fast.
As we know, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, has advised those who cannot afford marriage to fast, saying: "O youth, whoever of you is able to marry, let him marry, for it prevents forbidden stares or lapsing in adultery. And if he cannot marry, let him observe fasting, for it is a shield against evil." (Sahih Al-Bukhari 7:62 #4; Sahih Muslim 8 #3231)
This is the view I believe to be the most correct concerning this issue.”
Do keep in touch. If you have any other question, don't hesitate to write to us.
