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Name
sara
-
Profession
Question
Peace be upon you.
I have a friend, she is going to get married soon. But she is very worried that she is not sure if she is virgin. She never done any thing bad, but she used to ride alot of bicycle (male bicycle). She was told to stop but she never knew why.
And also at two instants she remembers to have fallen very badly on her back.
How can she be for sure that she is still a virgin?
Thank you.
Answer
Dear sister,
It is a pleasure to answer this very critical and sensitive question. Women in Islam must be virgins if previously unmarried. Islam prohibits extra-marital affairs or having intimiate relations outsied the marital institution. The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised that one marries the virgin so she cheers his life up and brings him happiness. He recommended that she would also be kind, and able to offer him offspring.
A previously married woman is also made available for marriage and she is actually responsible for herself in choosing a husband, revoking him, or invalidating a wali's (guardian's) choice of marital contract... There are cases where a formerly married woman was chosen over the virgin.
However, the case you are talking about is of a woman who lost her virginity due to an accident. In this case, if someone proposes and she is able to give him medical proof of her case, and he trusts her, Islamic jurisprudence will not invalidate the marriage. It is extremely important that loss of virginity is known to the husband prior to writing the marriage contract. It is essential that there is no cheating about her case. The prophet (peace be upon him) prohibited cheating in any matter and even more so with marital issues.
Name
Lina
- Indonesia
Profession
UN Staff
Question
What do you think the women's right in Islam perspective.
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum,
Although this topic has been treated in detail in Islamic media, I'll just try to summarize this for you. Islam has granted women their rights 1500 years ago. Actually, Islam pioneered in this before any other civilization. In the surrounding areas, in the Greco-Roman empire, women were slaves, baught and sold. They were part of their husbands' inheritance. They could not inherit property or even choose a husband. They had no right to education, no right to work, no right to their own earnings and so on.
The Qur'an encouraged emancipation of slaves, and gradually all slaves, including women, were liberated. Islam ended infanticide, which was also a common practice in the Arabian peninsula, and around the area, in both the Roman and the Persian empires. Islam pioneered in granting women the right to choose a husband, to reject a husband, to have a word over the bride's wali (guardian), if the husband is not an efficient equivalent to the woman.
Islam also gave women the right to attend Islamic sessions for education, as many of the women companions asked for a day to study Islam with the Prophet (peace be upon him). Women had the right to attend battles in the battlefield; this meant the right to have military participation. They cured the sick, nursed the wounded, and carried the dead to their resting place. Women created their tents for treating the dead on those battlefields. Women gained the right to political participation when they gave baiy`ah to the Prophet (peace be upon him). This meant the right to give a vote, or elect a political representative.
Women gained the right to participate in businesses as trade. They managed to buy and sell their own property, and sell goods for daily earnings. Some women were sheperdesses, or sold perfumes or had their own stores. These adchievements were considered a breakthrough in the area of women's rights. American women did not gain such liberties except over one century ago... They are still struggling to gain more, as equal pay, or the right to spending and the right to gain a husband's maintenance...
Western women have a problem with domestic violence, which Islam had ended by virtue of ethical and moral values taught in Islamic doctrine, in Islamic morals and Islamic tarbiyah (education), or forming Islamic character.
Islam has given a strong methodology and teachings on how to protect one's child from going astray amidst a corrupt society. Western women are losing their children to corrupt society and asked for Islamic help to teach the morality. That will save their children from drug addiction, smoking, dating, theft, gangs and crime. Although women have a duty to raise strong children to defeat social evils, Islam considers these as a women's right granted by society and the prevalent religion, which is Islam in Islamic countries.
Western women suffer also from domestic violence. There are 960,000 cases of domestic violence a year, according to FBI reports, against these women. Islam has prohibited beating women. This is stated in both the Qur'an and the Sunnah. Islam has also prohibited women's abuse by word or deed, verbally, physically or psychologically. Islam is, indeed, unique in guaranteeing mercy and affection between spouses, or parents and their children as the prophet was a mercy to mankind.
Name
Mazina
-
Profession
Question
In your opinion, is there any political role that a Muslim woman can play under these hard conditions?
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum,
Jazakum Allahu khayran for asking this vital question. Indeed, a Muslim woman has an extremely vibrant role to play during the crisis our Ummah (nation) is going through. We need women to be vocal about the difficulty of enduring oppression. Women under occupation are always forgotten. Palestinian women are living the horrors of losing their husbands, their sons or brothers, or any of their family members. While women living in free countries are enjoying the luxuries of daily maintenance and purchasing their needs, these women are barely surviving.
Muslim women, all over the world, must rise in complaint against the atrocities of Israeili occupation. Although women's rights is an international issue, the Palestinian woman's rights are totally neglected. This world silence speaks for deliberate discrimination, almost a racial bias against Palestinian women and children. It was part of the Beijing Document, the goal of which, was to eliminate any form of discrimination against women, to guarantee women's rights all over the world. We cannot select certain women, as white women, for example, to enjoy these rights, while we prevent other women from doing so.
This attitude also speaks for the inhumanity and falsehood of the concept of women's liberation in general. If we fight for women's liberty, we need to do so with even-handed justice. Muslim women must voice their opinion about the misery Palestinian women suffer. They must request passage to Palestine for freedom of relief work and protecting their fellow sisters in Islam.
Name
Isabelle
- United Kingdom
Profession
Teacher
Question
How can you say that Islam gives rights to women when they are forced to wear tents and are not allowed to marry whoever they want? Why do a woman's parents have to choose her husband? Don't you think women have enough brains to be able to decide what is best for themselves?
Answer
May Allah's peace and blessings be upon you,
I think it is sad to find people who have never educated themselves about Islam, or have really seen Islam practiced in a Muslim country, or have received real education at the hands of a scholar, or have taken courses about Islam in a Muslim country, yet choose to attack the faith ignorantly. It is very hurtful and insensitive to call a Muslim woman's attire a "tent"!
Indeed, Muslim women were the first women to receive the right to choose their husbands 1500 years ago. This happened when the Roman and Greek empires were enslaving women and preventing them from education or inheritance. There are no arranged marriages in Islam. If these exist, they are purely cultural or traditional practices, but they are found nowhere in the two Islamic sources, the Qur'an and the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him). The Sunnah is the authentic sayings, practices and biography of the Prophet (peace be upon him).
There is plenty of evidence that the Prophet gave women the right to reject suitors who lowered their status or who were unfit to be husbands, although the brides' fathers had chosen those suitors. As for your attack on Muslim women's mental capacities, I am quite surprised and will refer you to the beginning of my answer. The Qur'an which is Allah Almighty's revelation given to Muslims, equates men and women at all levels.
Name
Sister
- United States
Profession
Student
Question
As-salamu `alaykum,
What are the rights of the wife if the husband's parents come to live with the couple? Do the parents always get the "right of way," even though they are truly guests in the house of their son? I understand parents always get priority, but what about little quibbles (such as what to eat for dinner, where to go for holiday, etc.)?
What about the wife's parents? If they are taken care of by the couple, does the husband's parents get preference over them? I'm worried because my parents are non-Muslims and insha'a Allah I may have to take care of them in their old age, while taking care of my husband's parents. Please offer your help. It is greatly needed.
Jazakullah.
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum wa-rahmatullah,
Islam gives the wife the right to an independent residence. Obiously, to avoid all the problems you mentioned. The husband needs to separate his duties towards loved ones. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said something to this effect: "Your body has a right over you. Your self has a right over you. Your wife has a right over you. So give each one its right."
Otherwise, both spouses are to accept their partners' parents as their own. They must agree as to the limitations they put for these parent's interference in their private lives. In addition, as Muslims, we are encouraged to be tolerant towards elderly parents. May Allah help you.
Name
Muslima
-
Profession
Question
What rights does a wife have over her husband when it comes to intimate relations? What if the wife prefers intercourse more often than the husband? A woman cannot be expected to always undermine her desires, correct? Women are just as human and "feel" just as much as men! Jazakullah.
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum,
Yes! This is a common complaint from sisters. Husbands are ususally busy or do not think that itnimacy is an urgent need for women as well. If the husband is a practicing Muslim, you may show him evidence that the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to divide his days between his wives equally so that every four days, a wife will not miss him. The maximum a husband can stay away, if in a case of jihad, or travel, or some other urgent need, is four months. Otherwise, this will give her the right to ask for breaking the bond of marriage.
But, the peaceful route is always preferred over breaking the marriage. I recommend that you advise the husband and tell him that Islam protects a woman's chastity and virtue. He needs to make himself available for you. You both need to follow the steps of taba`ul. Which means, cutting nails, cleaning up, showering, combing hair, removing extra hair, and following the sunnah of purification for your spouse. I also recommend that you ask him for the reasons why intimacy is neglected in your home.
Name
Aminah
- Ireland
Profession
Question
It is permitted for a Muslim man to enjoy the company of 4 wives. Why doesn't women enjoy the same right? Don't tell me that it is the nature of women not to need more than one man... there are some women who like to have more than one man... So please tell me... why aren't women equal to men in having the same right of enjoying more than one spouce?
Answer
Salam, Sister.
Good question. Islam has conditioned having more than one wife with absolute justice. It has to be at the level of the Prophets' justice with his wife. I believe this is hard. In addition, the Qur'an gives the husband the duty of qiwqamah. This is a word that has been often misinterpreted. It means the responsibility and the honor of shouldering the wife; her expenses, her maintenance, including paying her medical bills, her children's maintence and their education expenses.
Because God Almighty is fair and just, a woman cannot shoulder the residence expenses of four men! She cannot slave to earn a living to carry the maintenace of four men. If a woman needs that right, she must also accept the responsibillity. However, there are cases when a man must take another wife if the woman is chronically sick or if she cannot bear the children he had hoped for. Allah is most just and fair. Islam does not look at the need for another wife as merely sexual or physical. Emotional, spritual, moral needs are also taken into consideration. I recommend that each wife questioning that right should ask herself if she is neglecting some of the marital aspects that urge a husband to look for another.
Ba'ah, or the ability to sustain the woman financially is a condition. That is why this right to marry more that one wife is not an absolute right, but is conditioned. Only 10% of Muslim men practice it.
Name
maryam
- United States
Profession
Question
I know that muslim women have many rights, but how can we enforce them when our husbands insist on following Arab culture instead of Islam?
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum.
I would like to ask first: what was the basis of that woman's choice? Did she choose the husband because he was Arab or because he was an outstanding, practicing Muslim? Since the person already chose the Arab non-practicing, obviously, all one can do is introduce Islam tactfully to that husband. This may be done through other practicing Muslim men. You may invite them to your home for dinner one night. Or you may have their families form closer relations so he can learn real Islam. My du`aa' for you.
Name
Aisha
-
Profession
Question
What is your perspective regarding women in leadership roles? There are different points of view on this subject, but it is a popular one these days.
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum,
In Islam, women have the right to any administrative leadership role. A woman, however, cannot be an imam or a caliph. Obviously, she cannot perform her duties efficiently, each day, thoroughout the month. Think of `Umar Ibn Al-Khattab, the Muslim caliph. Can any woman be of his caliber? Allah said do not burden a soul with more than it can bear. Her best role, is a role model for her children. When that role is fulfilled and she has more time on her hands, then she can perform the other roles.
If men are able to fulfill those jobs efficiently, there is no reason to compete with them. This is my humble recommendation. I so believe sincerely that building a Muslim character is stronger than any leading role in society. If our children are well raised to follow Islamic teachings and the Prophet's Sunnah, all society will be wholesome and free of modern ailments that have crept into it due to our runnig after these ambitious roles.
Name
pea
-
Profession
Question
As-salamu `alaykum,
As a practicing revert Muslimah of 25 years, I've had some time to look at the way Muslims treat each other. While I would generally say that many Muslims exhibit repressive behavior towards other Muslims, it does seem that Muslims, in the area of women's rights rest upon laurels from another age. The common answer to the women's right's issue is to point to reforms that Islam brought.
It seems to me the Muslims have done very little to incorporate those fundemental rights into either their cultures or into the practical practice of Islam. In other words they give lip service to the Qur'an but actually do not practice what they preach. Also it seems there has been little effort to expand on women's rights... but rather to use custom to repress the rights given to women in the Qur'an. Would you have any ideas of the sort of reforms Muslims should pursue to remedy this state of affairs?
Answer
Salam, Sister.
I agree with you totally. Although Allah Almighty has given us those rights, not all men are aware of them. Consequently, not all men know what to give!! The best reform women can have is to start with themselves and their own families. Spread awareness in your family and community. It does need persistence without a sence of competitiveness with the men. It is best to educate than fight.
Name
h-japan
- Pakistan
Profession
student
Question
As-salamu alaikum!!
I am a student in Japan... As looking at my mom and even other women around me... I feel that women are just made to compromise and stop behind man.
A very good example is my mom. I always feel that she is a great women and always think that what if i could'nt be a woman like her.
When I speak with her about this, she says that ofcourse there are compromises and that why Allah has made the pradise under the feet of a mother... and so on.
Well, she is write but there are also some men who are good at giving women there rights... but some do not at all...
And I have studied that it was Islam who had given women the respect and rights to live in the world. But these days it seems that non-Muslims have taken the styles and behaviors which should be among the Muslims.
God bless us and our world ahead...
Thanks.
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum,
I recommend that you focus on how you will be a good mother according to the Qur'an and Sunnah of the Prophet. Indeed, oppression is not in Islam. You need to have an Islamic methodology for running your household to please Allah. I am sure Allah will guide you when your heart is sincere and works only for His pleasure. You also need to have a focus on how to raise your children according to Islamic teachings and from what age. I recommend that you do not use anyone as a role model or try to evaluate culture ridden behavior. You need to think positively of what your role will be as a Muslim woman leader in society, as an educator and guide to others.
Name
yahya
- United States
Profession
Student
Question
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said the best thing to do in Islam is to obey your mother (3 times) to emphasize the importance of mother. I live in the U.S and my father died when I was a little child. My mother took care of all by herself and what if my wife doesn't want to live together with my mother and wants a place of her own. I am a struggling artist and I can not afford to get her a place. Besides, I can never abandon my mother because she has sacrificed her whole life for me and my siblings. I would rather divorce than abandon my mother... is that wrong??
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum.
Ask Allah, with a sincere heart, to soften the heart of both your wife and your mother. Try to explain to your wife that your mother has no place to go or anyone else to turn to. I advise that you fast and pray by night and read the surah, Yaseen, everyday. In sha'a Allah He will solve your problem. Do not think of divorce and pray for other reconciling solutions.
Name
Mohamed Ismail Al hindi
- India
Profession
Civil Engineer
Question
Is it permissible for Muslim women work in Non islamic situations that leads to you intermingling of sex?
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum,
Islam poses restrictions on such intermingling. There should be no looseness in the behavior. A woman is to treat her work-mates in a business-like fashion. There should be no socializing, where prohibited practices are allowed. I mean, no drinking, no gambling, no dancing, no dating. Mingling with the opposite sex should be by permission of the husband. If the husband feels there is a threat to the family institution, the wife should not insist on it. He also must be reasonable and feel it is a real threat and not prohibit her work out of jealousy. We should ask: is this job a financial or an educational necessity? If so, then we should guarantee virtue and chastity in all situations.
Name
Abdul-Karim
-
Profession
Question
Can you please explain Islam's viewpoint on feminism as it is practiced in the West?
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum,
There is gender feminism and equity feminism. Gender feminism regards women's rights in extreme lights. A woman must be the same in everything, including her sex. That is why they insist on the gay/lesbian culture. Equity feminism asked for the rights that Islam had granted 1500 years ago for women. However, most women whom we have personally known in the West are returning to the basic right of being good mothers and dutiful wives.
Name
hafizh
- Malaysia
Profession
student
Question
Islam encourages man to learn self defence, swimming, and horse riding (in modern terms - cars, jets etc). Are women also encouraged to learn these things or are they considered too harsh for women's soft and caring nature? If so, what are their equals for woman?
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum.
Women are allowed to do all those things provided they do not violate any of the Islamic rules protecting their virtue and chastity. There are women's gyms now all over the world. I am sure women have more fun together practicing these sports. Women are encouraged to be healthy and physically fit so their husbands continue to feel they are a protection to their own virtue and chastity.
Name
Khaled
- Saudi Arabia
Profession
Engineer
Question
As-salam `alykum, Doctor and others.
Don't you think that the dialogue subject is a bit general and carries a negative message?
I know that women in some Islamic countries have many concerns and issues (where even men don't have much rights), but this doesn't apply to some other Islamic countries. And mistreatment could be found in some families but not in all, and it's not a usual practice as well.
And the "women rights" banner would have a negative impact on those of bigoted opinions and on non-Muslims who’d view this dialogue as well; and a good headline would be: What does "deal justly" with women mean?.....
Same discussion with a different title... but more constructive: what do you think?
May Allah guide us all to the means of getting this nation ahead again...
Wa-lsalam `alaykum…
Answer
Thanks for the comment. It will be taken into consideration.
