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Name
Iftikar
-
Profession
Question
How to get yourself organized in Ramadan?
Answer
I would start by centering my days on the salah. Making the prayers as stations in the day where I should pray in the masjid as much as possible. That way the rewards are maximum and there will be baraka(blessing) in all the other activities throughout the day, insha’Allah. After that we should try to focus on what really matters in this life, pleasing Allah in everything we do.
Name
Mona Gharib
- Belgium
Profession
Question
A lot of people get mesmerized with visits and eating in Ramadan, and families get upset if you turn them down, but how you train your family to eat less and focus much on ibada in ramadan?
Answer
This is a very good question. Many see Ramadan as party-time, unfortunately. Only worrying about where the next dinner invitation will be. It is great to invite each others to iftar; alhamdulillah it brings families and friends together. We should remember that prayer is still a daily requirement and that visiting the masjid as much as we can, will help us focus. Also, praying taraweeh in the masjid with our families will help keep us busy in the worship of Allah and leave less time for eating at iftar. If we commit to praying taraweeh in the masjid every night, or as much as possible, we can limit time spent relaxing, or sleeping after iftar. We can visit the sick, the elderly, the graveyard to keep our hearts soft and receive many rewards more than other times of the year.
Name
Aden
- United States
Profession
Question
I work everyday from 7am to 9pm and I barely take days off. I am sick of this schedule that I can't change at the moment and I have to drive huge trucks which leaves me no much time to think of getting close to Allah. I feel my heart is getting harsh and I don't cry when listening or reading the Qur'an. Should I look for another job, or you have some solutions for me?
Answer
As long as you are able to keep up your daily prayers while you are driving, I think you can make your job work for you, no pun intended. If not, this may be what is causing you to feel your heart hardening. Also, if you have a cassette or CD player in the truck you can listen to anasheed, Qur'an, lectures and sermons of popular imams and scholars. I ask Allah to make the way easier for you and to open doors for you to come closer to Him, insha’Allah.
Name
Janelle
-
Profession
Question
I have few bad habits (smoking, sleeping/eating too much, not lowering the gaze, etc.) that fail to change every Ramadan. Every Ramadan I work out a plan but I fail to keep myself committed to it for more than a week, especially smoking. How do I make this Ramadan different?
Answer
If Ramadan is not working for you, maybe you are not working for Ramadan enough. The whole point of fasting is to learn self-restraint and to draw nearer to Allah. With regard to smoking, this can prove to be very difficult for some people to quit. You are not alone in this. You may want to consult a physician who can offer some sound advice on kicking this addiction, which is really what it is, sorry to say.
The nature of worship in Islam, making it our way of life, structures our day so that we do not engage into excesses like sleeping and eating too much. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, taught us that the believer eats with one stomach while the non-believer eats with four. This teaches us that we should not take in too much food that we get tired and fall asleep, but also that we should not take in too much of this life's attractions. It brings us closer to the earth and further from Allah. Keep company with other believers. They will help keep you in check also. Sometimes a good word from a friend can make a huge difference in our outlook on life. Stick to the pillars of Islam in this Holy Month and Allah will open doors for you for the rest of the year insha’Allah.
Name
Tajudeen
- Canada
Profession
Question
Any tips on family spiritual program in Ramadan, new ideas to get your family more organized and focused?
Answer
It is good to sit after praying together and have a little halaqa (religious circle) with the kids. Offering reminders from the Qur'an and hadith, probing for their understanding of their faith. Maybe assign surahs to memorize, or to recite Qur'an together on a daily basis, if possible. You could watch a program and discuss it together. Pray more often together at home. Let them prepare iftar together and remind them the rewards of feeding a fasting person. Visit the masjid in taraweeh as a family. My children love to go with me to taraweeh. It makes them feel happy to see their friends and schoolmates in a different setting. If you are going to do community work at the masjid or in your neighbourhood, take your children with you to model the Islamic character of helping others.
Name
Muslim
-
Profession
Question
My wife is very rude to me and I have stopped talking to her after reminding her of the problem but she is kind of being stubborn. I hate to continue being away from her in Ramadan, but I also want to remind her of her problem so she doesn't take it lightly. What do you suggest?
Answer
Perhaps there is a problem that she is upset about but not telling you. It is mandatory in marriage to always communicate no matter what. Also, we reap what we sow. It is possible that you are doing something that upsets her and she lets frustration build up, finally responding to you in a rude way. Try to dig deeper and see what is at the root of the rudeness.
Of course, Ramadan is the month of forgiveness not just from Allah, but amongst each other. As it is said, we should give our brother/sister in Islam 70 excuses for their ill treatment of us. This is difficult to do as it requires giving each other the benefit of the doubt, and to practice great patience with each other. But again, fasting is about patience and appreciating what we have. Try doing what Allah tells us in the Qur'an, to return good when we receive evil from others, to paraphrase the verse.
Name
salma
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
When we are fasting, is it permissible to brush our teeth and tongue with tooth paste? I have been told yes and no. Please advise.
Answer
Editor:
We would like to apologize for not answering your question as this dialogue is dedicated to questions about Ramadan. Please re-submit your question on the following page:
Which is better to do more in Ramadan: du'a' or Qur'an?
Answer
Make sure that you make du'a' in the times we have been taught are best for du'a'. For example, after the fajr prayer, after each prayer, between 'asr prayer and maghrib on Fridays, on lailatul-Qadr (the night of Power) in Ramadan, in the last third of the night before fajr athan, and between athan and iqama. Reading Qur'an can be done at any time and is always beneficial. Making du'a' and reading Qur'an are different types of worship and is kind of like comparing apples to oranges. They are both sweet and beneficial, but I guess we need them both.
Name
Sara
-
Profession
Question
We are thinking of inviting a non-Muslim friend and his family in Ramadan. I am afraid it would be awkward for us and his as well. We didn't do it befor, so can you give us suggestions on how to make this go smoothly and nicely insha'Allah.
Answer
Make it a non-intrusive dinner. Do not make them feel you are trying to convert them by inviting them in Ramadan. Show them what Islam is all about in your skills as a host. As Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us, Islam is “excellent character”. Sharing food with non-Muslims is one of the best ways to show the character of Islam. Explain that you fast as a requirement from Allah. Also emphasize that Allah is the One and Only God that they believe in, assuming that they believe in God. Ramadan is a time for families to come closer together since we are bound to eat breakfast/suhoor together and also to eat dinner/iftar together every day for a month. That is something that is becoming rare in society today. Everyone is busy with their own schedules and commitments.
Name
Khalid Mohsen
-
Profession
Question
What is the best method of having two disputing families resolve their differences in Ramadan?
Answer
I would say that this is an excellent time for families to come together, alhamdulillah. Inviting the other family over for iftar would probably be the best way to break the ice. If they turn you down, keep trying until they accept. If they agree, make it the best food you can afford. Put on your best display of hospitality, taking coats, meeting them at the door, thanking them for honouring your home, etc. Try not to bring up issues that would be causing problems. Try to save that for later get-togethers if you can. Time has a way of healing wounds, too. Also, never forget Allah's Power to smooth relations. Make du'a' that Allah brings you back together again.
Name
Nour
- Canada
Profession
High School Student
Question
As-Salamu’alykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, thank you for this wonderful dialogue. I am so happy that I lived until this Ramadan, but my problem is, being a student takes my entire time, I do not have a lot of time to read the Qur’an and do other things to please Allah. Also, I really wish I could teach people about Islam since I live in the west, and I find this a wonderful opportunity but I don't know how? Non-Muslims pity Muslims for "starving themselves"...how can I correct this image? Jazakum Allahu khairan.
Answer
Obviously, those who think we are starving ourselves don't know the nature of fasting in Islam or why we fast. Let them know that we get up early for breakfast and eat after sunset. Many eat a second time in the evening as well. Some people actually gain weight in Ramadan because of all the wonderful iftars they are invited to! As you come across people at school they will find out you are fasting and this will be an opportunity to make da'wa as well. It opens doors for you to teach them a bit about Islam. With respect to reading Qur'an, it doesn't take much to read a couple of verses every morning to start your day off right and remind yourself why you are here. Do the same before going to sleep at night. This would be an excellent routine to implement in any Muslim's life, and is something anyone can do regardless of how busy they are. May Allah give you the strength to be a caller to Islam during your time as a student. Students are the best people to make da'wa to. They are already in the 'information absorbing' mindset so you would be in a good position to be listened to, insha’Allah.
Name
momin
-
Profession
Question
Does cursing and listening to music break your fast?
Answer
The whole point of fasting is to learn to control ourselves and come closer to Allah. If we are not able to control our tongues during the time we are fasting, when will we be able to do it? Also, Ramadan is the month of Qur'an so we should try to spend more time reading and listening to it than other things like music, especially if the type of music is promoting shameful things. That type would not be good at any time of the year.
Name
Editor
-
Profession
Answer
Finally, we would like to thank brother Waleed Najmeddine for taking the time to answer the questions of Islamonline viewers today, and we also thank all those who participated in this dialogue. We encourage our readers to join us in upcoming sessions.
