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Name
Sarah Mostafa
-
Profession
Student
Question
Assalmu Alaikum!
I understand the question may be slightly irrelevant, but it is a situation in which I would appreciate a helpful opinion.
I have started attending public school recently and have met with one muslimah attending the high school. Evidenlty, she does not take her deen seriously as perhpas a result in the breakup of her family or lack of attention from parents. Islam is not a way o flife to her; it's more of a culture. When I asked her if she was ready for Ramadan this year, she simply laughed and stated: "I don't fast. I get too hungry". It's not a surprsing answer to me for I have heard it a lot from other Muslimahs; I simply would like to know of the most convincing way to get her to realize the importnace of Ramadan and other aspects of our Islam and that such a month should be taken with full potential, not shrugged off for lazy excuses.
Assalamu Alaikum..
Answer
W`alaikom assalam sister Sarah,
May Allah reward you for all your feelings towards your sister at the school. She is blessed to have a friend like you who is keen for her after life and not just enjoying her company in this life. Unfortunately sister many youth nowadays feel this way towards Ramadan which represents a feeling towards islamic teachings in general.
The prophet (pbuh) started in Mecca building islam in the hearts of his companions. Building the tie with Allah (swt) and the after life and the hearts of the companions. When the time came for obligation, the companions were ready. What I suggest you do sister is:
- First love this sister of yours, really love her and love the good for her.
- Second talk to her about the blessings of Ramadan. Make her love this month. Mention to her how the doors of Jannah are open and the doors of hellfire are close. Try to internatlise that with her. Feel it together. Make your talks short but heart touching.
- Third, make lots of doaa for her, for you never know sister how things will unfold, Ramadan has a lot of blessings, maybe it will be her turn to be touched by these blessings in this year's Ramadan.
I wish you the very best sister on your great mission. May Allah grant you and all muslims Ramadan and laylato Al kadr.
Name
K.
- United States
Profession
Question
Alhamdulillam, I am a revert to Islam. I have a 6 year old son who is used to celebrating Christmas. I have started teaching him about Islam through contact with other Mulsim families and attending Juma prayers. I would like to know how I can introduce the concept of Ramadan to my son.
Answer
May Allah bless you sister and bless your efforts in making this year's Ramadan a very special one to your son.
To introduce Ramadan to your 6 year old son I suggest the following steps:
1. Choose a relaxed time with your child before Ramadan, possibly in the coming few days, and introduce Ramadan to him in his language. Think of a dear friend or family member to your child's heart and tell him how he would feel if this person came to visit you for a short while with all the presents and sweets he or she brings along? Would this visit make him happy? why?
link this to the arrival of the holly month which comes only once a year with a lot of sweeties too, this time from Allah (swt).
2. Prepare a simple action plan to plan together for the arrival of the dear guest. How would you plan for your guest? making the house look beautiful? preparing all that he or she likes? looking your best? Put the action plan together for preparing the house and yourselves for the arrival of the holly month.
Talking to him about Jannah's doors being open in this holly month is highly recommended. You can even make a tour every night into the jannah or paradise and taking a closer look to what Allah (swt) has prepared for those who obey him in this holly month.
I wish you the very best sister. May Allah grant you the time, the effort and the ideas that will help you make this a very special start between your son and Ramadan which he will remember with happiness for the rest of his life.
Name
Kamran
- Pakistan
Profession
IT related
Question
Asalaamualikum wa rahmatullah!
I would like to know about teaching our kids the muslim values and bring out courage in them and teach them to respecting elders and importance of the religon.
Answer
W`alaikom assalm wa rahmatollah wa brakato brother,
You asked a very important question that actually encompasses a lot of aspects and virtues. Generally speaking when we want to instill such valuable virtues in our children we usually choose a good and quiet time to talk to them, tell them a story possibly or comment on an event then start a discussion together.
During this discussion we can ask our children their opinion on why the person in the story acted the way he did? What kind of ideas did he have when he did that? What were his goals when he said what he said in the story? and similar questions that stimulate his thinking and his reflection on events.
In this discussion try to stay positive and encouraging to your child in order to help him think and not be intimidated by your reactions. Such stories or using current events or situations and reflecting on them together is a very helpful tool that can be used on any of the virtues you have mentioned in your question. May Allah help you and all muslim families build and maintain the valuable islamic values in our dear children.
Name
omar
- United States
Profession
Question
Assalam Alykum..
When I was a child my mother started teaching me to fast until the noon prayer(duhur), and some years until the after noon prayer(aser). I think that was a good way for her to teach us. I want to know if this is an acceptable way to teach our children, step by step. Or is there a better way in Islam to teach them?
Thank you wa jazakum allah khayran..
Answer
Wa alaikom assalam brother,
May Allah bless your mother and accept from her the good deeds. Yes brother inshAllah it is a good way to teach our children, and the proof is that after years from your experience you regard it as a good way for her to have taught you. This brother is exactly the impression we want to leave with our children after they are grown ups. Warm positive feelings about their fasting experience that they will remember with happiness for the rest of their lives. With salat the prophet (pbuh) specified a certain age of 7 years to start training our children to pray, whereas with fasting no specific age was suggested to start training our children. It is really left to our judgement of the child's capabilities and readiness as long he or she hasn't reached the age of puberty.
The most important thing is to leave the children with a positive memory of a holly month they enjoyed.
Name
Dina
- Egypt
Profession
Doctor
Question
I raised my children in a non religious atmosphere ( my husband is not very religious), but because i am starting to know islam better, am worried my children would not accept fasting and would argue a lot about whether to do it. I am sure they'll not obey me. What can I do?
Answer
Dear sister Dina,
You did not mention the age of your children in order to try and think of the kind and reasons for resistance that maybe present, but I would like to tell you the following:
- Have hope sister, lots of hope, for it is Allah (swt) who gives the guidance. We are only tools in His hands. Prophet Noah's son wasn't a believer sister. How many times do we hear of stories of children of parents who aren't good practicing muslims who have chosen the islamic way of life out of conviction, and the opposite is true. It is Allah (swt) who grants the guidance.
Have hope and expect the best. In the hadith qudusi Allah (swt) says what means that he will meet our expectations of Him, so we must expect the best.
- Another thing I would like to tell you sister is my advice to you to make your children love Ramadan. Try to highlight the great virtues of this holly month. Be extra nice and gentle with them. Prepare a warm loving atmosphere for them to come home and find. An extra special warmth and happiness for them to make a positive link between this holly month and home as well as you. Every mother has a good idea about the key to her children's happiness and joy, use all your keys in this month in order to balance off the discomfort or rejection you fear of the fasting action.
May Allah bless all your deeds and grant you the effort and the ideas that touch your children's hearts and grant you a blessed, warm and happy Ramadan where all the family will enjoy and remember.
Name
Sis
-
Profession
Question
How do we make the kids realise the importance of reciting the Holy Quran and offering Salah during Ramadan? They think that Ramadan is only about abstaining from food and drink and when we tell them that there is more than that, they are not interested in learning and following it.
Answer
Yes sister, this is a very important question, but before I reply to it, let me just go back in memory with you to your childhood, and mine if you allow me, let's go back to a positive memory or experience we went through as children. Why did we feel happy? What was going on? How ready were we to follow our parents' instructions following such happy experiences?
What I am trying to tell you sister is that we ourselves took some time to internalise the real value of quran and Ramadan. The older you are inshAllah the more you are ready and hopefully willing to explore more into the inner meanings of Ramadan. Many mothers and fathers want their children to deeply internalise Ramadan like them and forget the age difference. I think that concentrating on making Ramadan a warm, positive, happy experience in the whole house is a priority. We don't want to expect those young children to feel or practice the worship we have started when we were older. This does by no means mean that we should minimize our expectations of our children in this holly month. It just means that we have to prioritise our objectives.
The first objective is the general air of the house which will pave the way to all other objectives. As for qoran in the month of qoran, it would always be a good idea to choose the verses that tell stories which children love most and to reflect on them together. For example the story of Prophet Ibrahim, of Prophet Yusuf etc.. and trying to link it to their own daily lives in a manner they will understand and find enjoyable and understandable. We need to raise children who have a voluntary conscious link to the holly book, stemming out of love and choice. A light but consistant daily dose of qoran accompanied by linking its meaning and application to their daily life is what I would suggents sister.
May Allah link our hearts and the hearts of our children to the holly qoran and grant us and them its memorization, understanding and application. Ameen.
Name
Omar
-
Profession
Question
As-Salamu `alaykum..
I am a Muslim reverted father, with all my Muslim family. My son of 17 is a good Muslim, in all matters, but there is a problem... He loves a Muslima, I know who is, she is a good woman, and her family is so reputable. They treat themselves as "fiance".. My son always says to me that in one year they will do Khitba, but know they're meeting themselves making not Zeena.
I said that this Ramadan should finish this "relationship", but they are in the same institute... What should I do? If the relationship is like this, can they stay as so far??? Please help me!!!
Answer
Thank you brother for your question. You said that your son is " a good muslim in all matters" which I hope will mean that your son knows what to do when he loves somebody and what not to do. If you approve of the girl's family, why wait for a khitba after a year?
You need to talk to your son about it and discuss the matter gently trying to find the way to handle this matter in the manner that encourages your son to think of what pleases Allah(swt) not just in the month of Ramadan but throughout the year. You both can use the approach of the holly month to renew the intentions to please Allah (swt) and to make resolutions and repent so that you will be able to receive the great mercy Allah bestows on the believers on the nights and days of Ramadan.
May Allah grant you the understanding, the patience and the wisdom to have a fruitful conversation with your son in order to make a plan and guidelines for this relationship in the way that best pleases Allah.
Name
LAILA
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Profession
Question
Asslamau Alaikkum, What are the special prayers usually to perform during the month of Ramadan? How to perform them??? I am a Muslima who is interested in her religion!!!
Answer
Wa`alaikom assalam sister Laila,
Thank you for your question. Allah (swt) in qoran says that those who are trying to reach His pleasure and guidance will get there with His help inshAllah. May Allah bless and accept this heart of yours which is interested in faith and grant it the guidance He promised in qoran.
With regards to the prayers sister, taraweeh prayers and tahajod are the prayers muslims are used to performing in Ramadan. The reward of good deed is multiplied in Ramadan. The taraweeh prayers usually start right after ishaa prayer and are 8 raka't, and the tahajud prayer is recomended in the third part of the night before fajr prayer. One of the pious people once asked Allah (swt) to wake him in the best hours that Allah loves and to make his doaa the dearest to Allah's heart, the third part of the night before fajr prayer, as the prophet (pbuh) taught us is the one where Allah (swt) accepts all the doaa and prayers of those who ask him.
Name
Habib
-
Profession
Question
Salam. This is the first Ramadhan of my handsome son!!! I want the best for him in his first! Especially on Lailat ul Qadr, what to do with my son???
Answer
May Allah grant you and your son and the muslim umma laylato al kadr this Ramadan and the Ramadans to come brother. Your son is blessed to have a dad who thinks of his first Ramadan. As for what you can do to your son brother, make doaa for him, lots of it, in surat kahf (the cave), the prophet Moses and the Kheder worked as builders for two brothers to build a wall to protect their money
until they are old enough to get hold of it because their dad, or one of their grandads, was a pious man.
So just by obeying Allah (swt) and worshiping Him yourself, you are doing a lot to your son. One of the pious people once told his son that he prays a lot and makes good deeds so that Allah will protect him (meaning his son). So fearing Allah yourself and obeying his orders will protect your son inshAllah.
I wish you a blessed Ramadan to yourself, your family and the handsome son of yours.
