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Name
Jad
-
Profession
Question
Some people say Ramadan is a month for ibadah and focusing in reading the Qur'an and not to waste time interacting with people. Is this true? And why?
Answer
Ramadan Mubarak to you. Thank you for your question. No doubt Ramadan is a month of tremendous significance to the Muslims because of the teachings in the Qur'an concerning the month of Ramadan and what we have been taught by Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said, in a sahih hadith, "There has come to you Ramadan, a blessed month, in which Allah has made it obligatory to fast. During it the gates of Paradise are opened and the gates of Hellfire are closed, and the rebellious devils are chained. In it is a night (Laylatul-Qadr) which is better than a thousand months. He who is deprived of its good truly has been deprived."
May Allah accept our fasting and our praying and all of our ibadaat.
Name
Maleeha
- United States
Profession
Question
As-Salamu 'alykum, how can we use Ramadan to interact usefully and demonstrate the good things of the Islamic tradition during the month, so other people in the states see the civilized face of Islam?
Answer
Thank you for this question. It is important to remember that Islam is civilized but it is a very small, small number of individuals calling themselves Muslims who have distorted the teachings of Islam and demonstrated clearly uncivilized behavior with their inhumane and incomprehensible actions in the name of Islam. However, rather than focusing on that small, small number of individuals, we should focus on the some 1.2 billion Muslims around the world who daily present the civilized face of Islam.
In Ramadan, it is especially important for us to facilitate the understanding of our religion and the significance of Ramadan especially to people of other faith. One way is to use programs such as the fast-a-thon, (visit www.fast-a-thon.org) which is run by MSA National in the US and Canada, but was developed by an MSA chapter in Knoxville, TN precisely to present the teachings of Islam on our grounds, in our terms. This program encourages people who are not Muslims to fast, it encourages businesses to make a financial sponsorship in the name of the person fasting and then that total money collected is donated to charitable organizations such as homeless shelters, soup kitchens and food banks. What an awesome presentation of Islamic teachings in a most practical sense.
In general, we should also remember that Ramadan helps us to develop a personality consistent with Islamic teachings. In a sahih hadith, our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Fasting is not merely abstaining from eating and drinking. Rather, it is also abstaining from ignorant and indecent speech. So if anyone abuses or behaves ignorantly with you, then say: I am fasting, I am fasting."
May Allah accept our fasting and our praying and our efforts to invite others to Islam. Ameen.
Name
Qayyum azad
- United States
Profession
Question
I am a Muslim who went against my family's choice and chose to get married to a Christian woman that I loved so much. Since April 2003 and my family cut off, my dad cannot stand me anymore, and my mom always cries over any call I make and my dad shuts the phone off at my face. I do not enjoy the spirit of Ramadan knowing that my parents are displeased with me, but at the same time I cannot divorce my wife especially that she got pregnant 3 months ago. Some friends suggested that I tell my wife to abort the child and then I divorce her and then get back to my family even if I love her. Though I feel too bad doing so I can resort to it as a final solution to bring back the love of my parents. What do you think?
Answer
Dear brother, the scholars of the Islam Online fatwa section will be of great assistance to you regarding such a question. However, briefly, there is no teaching in Islam that says that in order to please your parents you disobey Allah. Aborting the baby on the grounds you have described, is not a choice for you. Divorcing this woman in order to please your parents should be discussed with the scholars but not based solely on the grounds you are describing.
Please remember that no matter what, if you remain married to this woman, your children must be raised as Muslims. Make the most of Ramadan by seeking your parents' forgiveness and by turning to Allah for assistance and guidance insha'allah.
Please do not delay consulting the scholars regarding your question.
Name
n>I
- Mauritius
Profession
accountant
Question
engagement and courtship
wat if ur fiancee dont come to ur place often is it permissible in this case to delay the marriage as the future husband is still studying
Answer
Thank you for your question. Our topic today concerns Ramadan, please send your question to the Cyber Counseling section for a response. Visit the Cyber Counseling section at: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1111650762381&pagename=IslamOnline-English-Cyber_Counselor%2FPage%2FCyberCounselE
Name
Abdulaziz sadiq
- Belgium
Profession
Question
I have a problem with communicating with my neighbors who is not a Muslim. I try to be nice by saying hi and smiling but they sometimes look differently at me and I think as if they are expecting something wrong from me. I want to change this in Ramadan, can you share some tips with me?
Answer
This is an excellent question because it seeks a practical response. May Allah bless your efforts insha'allah to share the teachings of Islam with your neighbors.
1. Introduce yourself, your religion:
No matter how long you have lived next to your neighbors, if you have not had a formal even brief introduction, most likely they will not be inclined to get to know you enough to stop "expecting something wrong" from you. If you see the neighbors enough, one time, introduce yourself and let them know your name, where you work or study, and your ethnic/racial background. Let them know that you are a Muslim and that you worship in such and such a masjid in the area. They need to hear from you all of this information so that they no longer see you as a statistic or a news story but as their neighbor insha'allah. In addition, inquire about them as well. Just keep the introduction brief but at least you will have a basis upon which to build in future conversations you can strike up with them.
2. Share your food with your neighbors:
Once you have developed a rapport with your neighbors, surprise them by sharing some sweets with them around the time of 'Eid, for example. Let them know about the special month of fasting and the 'Eid celebration and we are sure that they will appreciate the sweets as well as the information.
3. Share Islamic literature with your neighbors: Projects such as Why Islam, or other da'wah organizations have literature that you can share with your neighbors so that they understand what Islam is about and who the Muslims are insha'allah.
So much more could be said and there are other questions waiting. Thank you for your question.
Name
Ishraq
- Netherlands
Profession
student
Question
How do you strike a balance between spending much time with your family and friends, your work, taraweeh and other duties?
Answer
May Allah reward you for this question because you are not alone in attempting to strike a balance between all these time commitments. Allah knows best that you make the effort to spend quality time with family and friends, as well as in trying to fulfill your obligations to Allah. Remember that one's schedule in Ramadan is like no other schedule throughout the year. Therefore, extra effort must be exerted to make sure that each of one's time commitments is scheduled for and insha'allah met.
We suggest strongly that if at all possible, families should eat suhur and break their fasts together as well as go to and from the masjid for taraweeh prayers together. Sometimes this will require extra effort in terms of car rides, shuttling between work and home or work and school depending on the ages of your children. Do not overwhelm yourself if it seems like some days you cannot break fast together, for example. Make the intention to do your best insha'allah to meet your time commitments.
In addition, we suggest that you should include friends in your plans for iftar and trips to the masjid for taraweeh prayers. While breaking the fast together with family and friends is encouraged, one should remember not to stay much longer after the iftar because the hosts will need to make their own preparations for going to the masjid etc.
Again, remember that you should plan out a schedule for the month of Ramadan that is tailored to meet your needs. Make the intention to follow the schedule and make du'a to Allah to help you to fulfill your time commitments. Ramadan mubarak to you.
Name
khurshed azmier
-
Profession
Question
I have a problem with my little sister who is stubborn to wear hijab. My mom and dad are too easy on her and I am too harsh but in a gentle way. She always avoids talking to me but I am always on top of her head trying to convince her of wearing the hijab. I want to use new approach this Ramadan, do you have suggest one for me, please?
Answer
We appreciate your encouraging your sister to wear the hijab but remind you that you are not responsible for the actions of your sister. She is responsible for her own actions in front of Allah. Your duty is to remind her and to do so in a gentle way, with wisdom and beautiful exhortations. What do you mean you are "too harsh but in a gentle way?" Spend sometime this Ramadan reading about the gentleness and the merciful nature of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Do you think your goal in convincing your sister to wear the hijab is more difficult than the Prophet's task of conveying Islam was to the people of Arabia? And yet, throughout the life of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) we find countless examples of how merciful, how gentle, how kind, how polite, and how loving he was to the people he intended to teach Islam.
Focus on improving yourself this Ramadan and make lots of du'a to Allah to help you and to accept your fasting and your praying. In addition, make du'a to Allah to guide your sister to practicing Islam voluntarily, with conviction - not because she is afraid of her parents or her brother but rather because she is Allah-conscious and wishes to please Allah by following His commands, among which is for the women to cover themselves modestly. The only thing your sister needs on top of her head is the hijab - not you. So despite your best intentions stop being "always on top of her head trying to convince her of wearing the hijab." Remind her and leave her guidance to Allah.
Allah knows best.
Name
adnan
- Pakistan
Profession
lawyer
Question
How can one observe all the requirements of Ramadan while living in purely materialistic society?
Answer
Living in a purely "materialistic" society presents one of the toughest but not impossible challenges for Muslims who observe Ramadan. Unless the society has laws which prohibit you from fasting, however, there should be no reason why one cannot fulfill all of the requirements of observing Ramadan.
The main goal should be to face this challenge as a group and not by oneself. If one is at university, one should work with other Muslims to facilitate the observance of Ramadan. If one is blessed with a local masjid, one should join the masjid attendees in the observance of Ramadan by breaking fast at the masjid and by praying taraweeh prayers at the masjid.
The distractions are many and Allah is fully aware of the struggle and the sacrifice that Muslims are making in order to establish Islam in their lives. Let us make du'a to Allah to strengthen our resolve to face the challenges together insha'allah.
Name
Shakir
-
Profession
Question
In light of the emerging wave of conflict of culture between generations among Muslims in the West, how do you think there can communication, and what kind of communication are calling for? Thanks.
Answer
We should have a systematic plan to deal with this very challenging notion of the conflict of cultures between generations among Muslims in the West. We need to develop institutions that can conduct research on this topic so that we have data, we have evidence as to the severity of the problem and the depth and breadth of the problem, and then we can develop potential solutions to resolve the problem.
Such conflict is not new and Muslims are not the only community facing it. Almost every immigrant community faces the tremendous challenge of intergenerational conflict for a host of reasons. However, as Muslims, we have clear guidance on how the present generation should live and what efforts that generation must make towards welcoming the next generation into the fold of the community and towards caring for the previous generation of whose efforts and sacrifices the present generation are beneficiaries.
The communication overall should be characterized by a sense of mutual respect and good will such that in the end, all of the different generations work together to promote the practice of Islam in their daily lives.
Name
Rami Aboughawsh
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
How can you make the mosque more appealing to the youth in Ramadan. We have group iftar in the masjid, taraweeh, just traditional programs. What programs can we make so we catch many youth?
Answer
Subhanallah, one of the blessings of modern times is that despite all of the pressures to abandon religion, more and more youth are enthusiastic and excited about being practicing Muslims. There are so many ways to bring the youth to the masjid but what would bring more youth would be programs planned by the youth, for the youth, of course with adult supervision.
1) Invite the youth to clean and decorate the masjid in celebration of Ramadan.
2) If a young man has memorized the Qur'an, ask him to lead the taraweeh prayers once in a while. A beautiful recitation from a passionate young man would do wonders for the people praying behind him in terms of having an enjoyable and blessing-filled taraweeh prayer session.
3) If it is practical, have the youth plan a qiyam program so that they end up spending the night at the masjid.
4) Have short motivational talks by college students between taraweeh prayer sessions, many of whom can relate to the youth much better than the adults in some cases.
Thank you.
Name
K.F Mohammad
-
Profession
Question
What is the problem of today's youth and how do you think Ramadan could serve as a prime time for them to solve this problem?
Answer
This is an excellent question but it is worthy of a Phd dissertation and not a quick response during a live dialogue session unfortunately. One among so many of the problems of the youth is that they feel marginalized in their own communities because the masajid are not youth-friendly. If the youth are to grow to love Islam, to love being at the masjid, the conditions must be conducive. The youth often feel that the masjid is the place for the adult Muslims to "hang out" and talk and get together but there are few if any programs or activities at the masjid which are appealing to the youth. We need to focus on involving the youth so that they feel a part of the community and so that they develop a love for Islam, the Qur'an, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the masjid etc.
Ramadan is a great time to involve the youth and we have addressed how to do so in a brief response to another question from the UK in this Live Dialogue session.
Name
Rasha
-
Profession
Question
At my sight, Ramadan is the month of the rebirth of hearts, as it helps Muslims to refresh their souls by recalling the absent morals, but in many societes, we hardly feel the spirit of Ramadan and see that people turn to the bad habbits rather than the good ones, they care to watch television programmas rather than reciting the Quran, is it a way to change these bad habbits many people use to do in Ramadan?!!
Answer
Thank you for this wonderful reminder. Yes, instead of making the most of Ramadan for the spiritual blessings it brings, some Muslims choose to spend their late nights and the day time watching unhealthy television shows. There is no general solution but the most powerful solution is the individual reminder that you and I can give to ourselves first and then to people whom we see not making the most of Ramadan. Our reminders should be gentle and with a hope to help the person improve and not just to criticize them or embarrass them insha'allah.
Name
Ahmed
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
Asalam alaykum, I find that many young Muslims would like to be involved in their communities but the leadership is most often in the hands of old men . Sorry to say that but I think it's mostly true. These people tend to be inflexible and do not like to consult, especially with young people. If the young Muslims don't feel valued and like they belong I think they might go astray. How do you suggest to overcome this problem?
Answer
The questions of a transition of leadership and a more consultative leadership style are challenging Muslims all over the world. For some reason, we have abandoned the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who exerted so much energy to train future leaders and who relied on a consultative style of leadership. We need to begin first by emphasizing how much we have to lose by excluding the youth in the community planning and leadership. We must understand that through involvement, the youth will observe and learn and insha'allah be groomed to inherit the work of the community when the "old" have departed from this earth. In addition, we have to understand that sometimes, young people are able to articulate themselves and to suggest a solution to a particular problem in a more practical way than the elders. Just because they are young, we should not marginalize them and not consult them. Of course, in the beginning there will be tough times, but with experience, the youth will improve not only their ability to lead but their ability to work with various age groups.
Much more could be said but the best reminder is that we need to revisit and learn from the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) when it comes to involving and consulting the youth in the matters of the community.
Name
fatima
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
Salam alikum, I hope you have a great Ramadan. I'd like to ask about the young muslims in the UK. I find there are two extremes (I know this is generalizing a bit) but there are those who go partying and clubbing but still fast and pray sometimes then there are those who are quite extreme and come to the point of saying certain people are outside Islam. I don't know how to bring both trends into a kind of moderate pace. Coz this affects both family and community life.
Answer
May Allah reward you for your concern. Ramadan is one of the best times to build and to strengthen brotherhood and sisterhood. There are many more variations to the two groups you have mentioned and our goal should be to focus on the issues not the people themselves. What is the issue with those who clubbing? What is the issue with those who pronounce takfir on other people? We should try to create more opportunities for dialog and exchange between these various groups so that they learn to live together on the one hand and insha'allah they are able to transform their individual lives on the other hand.
Try to find other like-minded, moderate, middle-path people who are willing to sacrifice their time and energy to help address this issue in your local area. Try to involve some members from each group in the actual planning of the activities because they will have a higher sense of belonging and ownership of the efforts to bring these groups together. Be patient and plan ahead but remember that in the end, the guidance is from Allah so we should not belittle our efforts or assume that we can predict the outcome of our efforts.
Name
Adel Abdelmajid
-
Profession
compute engineer
Question
I work 11 hours a day, and I come home right before taraweeh time. I try my best to visit my family but sometimes I think I should be at the masjid with the jamah praying taraweeh. I thought of taking my family with me but they are old enough to do it constantly. What is the best way to deal with this?
Answer
May Allah reward you for your efforts. Do as much as you can of both but not at the expense of your relationship with Allah or your health. On the days your family can join you for taraweeh prayers, alhamdulillah. You are visiting with your family and building a relationship with Allah by going to the masjid on those days.
On the days they cannot join you, make every effort to at least remain in touch with them by calling them or by stopping by for a short visit if it is practical. Since Ramadan is such a blessed month, you should make every effort to gain the blessings through taraweeh prayer in congregation. Insha'allah throughout the remainder of the year, you can also make extra efforts to visit your family.
Name
Robinson
-
Profession
Question
I believe Ramadan is a month of reaching out to people. As a social worker, what kind of social activities that the youth can do during Ramadan to reach to their local community?
Answer
One of the best ways to communicate the teachings of Islam is through good deeds. Every masjid should have a program for social outreach that includes Muslims of all ages and plans and implements social service projects at least once a week during Ramadan, especially. Ramadan has started already this year, so some of what is being suggested can still be attempted but insha'allah more effort should be made to plan ahead for next Ramadan.
The social outreach committee should explore what groups and organizations are already serving the poor, the vulnerable, the needy members of society. Then, the committee should offer to staff a particular project with Muslims of all ages and backgrounds. For example, if an organization makes food and feeds the homeless, then the Muslims would donate money to buy the supplies for the food preparation, help cook the food and then serve it. What a powerful message such involvement sends to those who do not know about or understand Islam. Here we are, feeding people, and in the spirit of Islam, we seek no reward and no thanks. We do all this because we seek the countenance and the pleasure of Allah! The Qur'an tells us, "innama nut'imukum li wajhillahi, la nuridu minkum jazaa-'an wa la shukura."
May Allah accept our efforts, our praying and our fasting. Ameen.
Name
Editor
-
Profession
Answer
Finally, we would like to thank Brother Altaf Husain for taking the time to answer the questions of Islamonline viewers today, and we also thank all those who participated in this dialogue. We apologize for not being able to accommodate all the questions within the time allocated to this session. If you feel your question is very important, feel free to contact us at EngLivedialogue@islamonline.net and we will try our best to answer your question. We request our readers to join us in upcoming sessions.
