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Name
Dr Syed Alwi
- Singapore
Profession
self-employed
Question
Assalamualaikum wr wb,
Firstly let me say that I am NOT a homosexual.
I regard homosexuality as a medical and psychiatric condition. Therefore I do sympathise with the plight of the gays and lesbians and so on. Let me be honest here. I certainly believe that such people should NOT be viewed as sinners ! They are unfairly ostracised and condemned by religious groups. This I cannot accept in light of modern knowledge. I think a more humane approach needs to be taken. After all - if Muslims can demand Non-Muslim countries to recognise their human rights to wear the hijab - then I think that Muslim countries should also recognise the human right for gays and apostates to choose their own path. There should not be any double standards ! What is your opinion on this matter ?
Wassalam
Dr Syed Alwi
Answer
Dear Dr Alwi,
Thank you very much for your submission which is more of a view rather than a question. You or any person do not need to state that they are not homosexual as we do not judge people by their religion, racial or ethnic origin or sexual preference.
1. Politics: let us keep away from the politics of Muslim & non-Muslim countries.
2. Homosexuality: This is a pattern of sexual behavior that has been known among human beings throughout history.
- The monotheistic Religions do not approve of this pattern & encourage heterosexual practices for various reasons.
- Until the 1980s, homosexuality was considered as (Abnormal or as a Disorder) in the Classification of Psychiatric disorders. Since the 1980s due to some reasons, this changed and now Homosexuality is considered to be a variant of normal sexual behavior.
3. How should we treat Homosexuals:
We as Doctors or therapists are & should not be judgmental. Our duty & aim is to help those who recognize this as a problem & seek help. Any practices by some individuals or groups should not be taken as the rule or verdict of the religion.
So we need to encourage any individual (Man or woman) who has a problem of this type to seek help without judging them or labeling them.
4. Human rights: Human rights are the same across all religions & by sound minded human beings. Every human being deserves respect & consideration, to be treated humanely & not to be undermined or treated unfairly. It is Almighty God who has the right to judge people & reward them the appropriate reward.
Hope this addresses your question
Best wishes
Name
ADAM
-
Profession
CIVIL SERVANT
Question
As-salam`alaykum Dr;
I have watched the Brokeback Mountain movie which some segments said that movie is a gay movie.
I would like to be differ with them since the message (upon my understanding) of that movie is about a man who longing for love. Unfortunately, he was trapped in such weird condition which is inescapable. My I ask you Dr, if such that deep longing feeling for a man love would lead to homosexuality? As a Muslim, is it such feeling forbidden?
Answer
Dear Adam
Assalamo Alaikum & thanks for your question. Unfortunately, I have not watched this movie so I cannot comment on it. However regarding love: Love is a noble human emotion that can be universal i.e. love of all mankind, to high standard values & morals e.g. Justice & Mercy.
Love to a named man or woman needs to be within the boundaries of culture & the religion you believe in. The mere feeling of love towards a man or feeling the need of being loved by a man is not a negative or bad thing as long as it does not contradict any noble morals or ethical code that is outlined by your religion.
Hope this helps
God bless you
Name
Anonymous050
-
Profession
Question
What is the best way to deal with a friend or family member who struggles with homosexual feelings, have acted on it, but then say they have repented? Even if they say they won't indulge in it again, how can we truly trust them? Won't a family member feel guilty allowing a man who did this in his past to get married to a girl without that girl knowing what happened in his past.
Answer
Dear Sir,
Thank you so much for this very important question. I wish to thank you very much for being so caring & wanting to help this person. For a person suffering from homosexuality i.e. he or she does not want to live with it & recognizes it as being against his/her will, this is a good start.
This person needs to see a specialist or a therapist who can help address this problem. It is important to exclude any underlying psychiatric problems & to address any underlying psychological needs.
Overcoming this problem is possible but requires high motivation, determination, seeking help & asking God for support.
I Hope this helps & hope your friend can find the appropriate help in the country where he or she lives.
Best wishes
Name
Tarique
- Bangladesh
Profession
Student
Question
Assalamualaikum
I want to know the rule of masturbation in Islam.
How can get rid of the practice if someone addict of it?
May the Almighty bless u.
Answer
Dear Tarique,
Assalamo Alykom & regards to all in the beloved country Bangladesh.
Your question is very important:
1. Masturbation in Islam: Please kindly address this with a scholar.
2. Addicted to Masturbation: Addiction means a compulsion that is very difficult to resist & if the act is stopped for sometime, the addict relapses & resumes this action e.g. Alcohol drinking. I am unsure whether the pattern of performance you are asking about can be considered as an addiction or not. I therefore urge the person who has this problem to seek help by seeing a psychiatrist to rule out any underling psychiatric problem & to see the appropriate therapist.
Best wishes
Name
Anonymous
-
Profession
Question
What is the cause of homosexuality? Are there biological factors involved?
Answer
Dear Brother / sister,
Thank you very much for raising this very important question. Unfortunately, there is no straightforward answer as this matter remains an area of debate between various scholars, researchers & experts.
My humble opinion: The following are the possible factors & causes:
1. Psychological Factors:
These usually relate to early upbringing, childhood + teenage experiences e.g. feeling rejected by one or both parents. Inter-parental relationship problems, abuse as a child (physical, emotional or sexual), also feelings of inadequacy & incompetence may encourage others to trap someone who is deemed to be vulnerable, longing for love & a sense of security to seek this through a homosexual relationship.
2. Social factors: social acceptance in certain cultures may encourage this pattern of sexual behavior.
3. Biological: some studies suggested that homosexuality is biologically determined & there are some areas in the human brain that were found to be different among homosexuals compared with heterosexuals.
However, there are many reservations about these studies including methodology, interpretation of the results & the fact that the researchers themselves admit that these studies are not conclusive. In addition, the outcome of some of these studies contradict the outcome of other studies.
In general: it is possible to say that the causes are within the interplay between Nature & Nurture.
Hope this addresses your question.
Name
Mohammed Al-Hindi
-
Profession
Question
Assalamu alaikum,
Can homosexuality be cured by medicines just like any other psychiatric disorder, or is it treated by just psychiatric counselling?
Answer
Dear Brother,
Assalamo Alaikum & thanks for your question.
Treating any disorder depends on various factors:
1. Are there any underlying physical (Biological) or Psychological factors.
2. The experience of the patient as he or she may suffer from anxiety or depression, as a result of the homosexual urges or actions.
This needs to be treated by Medication + Psychological therapy.
So in short when treating homosexuality we can use all possible therapeutic options subject to patient needs & circumstances after thorough assessment & understanding of their condition:
Medication, psychological therapy, social support & religious help as well.
Best wishes
Name
U
-
Profession
Question
How much experience have you had working with people of same-sex attraction?
Answer
Dear U,
Thanks for your question.
Same gender (sex) attraction as a feeling is common in various cultures especially in childhood & teenage groups. In most of these circumstances, this is usually temporary & does not lead to engaging in homosexual relationships i.e. sex with a person of a similar gender. However if it is a strong feeling that persists & dominates the individual's life, that becomes irresistible & puts the person at risk of homosexual relationships or involves them in a homosexual relationship, the this is pathological & needs to be assessed by a psychiatrist to evaluate the case & address its needs.
Hope this helps.
Name
ruqayat
- Nigeria
Profession
law
Question
what are the acceptable funeral burial rites for a dead muslim?
Answer
Sincere condolences sister,
Please ask a scholar.
Best wishes to you & all in Nigeria.
Name
Ali
- Canada
Profession
Student
Question
I constantly hear that Homosexuality is on the rise in the Middle East. What are the reasons for this? My second question is relative to the West: Do you think preventing marriage for youth and keeping the subject of sex and relationships as a 'taboo' subject gives opportunity for Muslims to walk down the path of Homosexuality?
Jazakallahkhair for your time.
Answer
Dear Ali,
Thanks very much, these are very important questions.
1. Regarding your question ‘Rising Homosexuality in Middle East?’
Do you mean in the Arab World?
There are no studies to confirm or disprove this. However maybe this seems to be the case as people are able to express their views & preferences on the net more than they can by other means.
Also the society in the Arab World is more open than before. In addition, the free communication & travelling to & from Arab countries to the rest of the World may give such an impression.
2. Some of the factors that you mentioned could contribute to encouraging homosexual practices but it cannot be only one factor.
Best wishes to you & all in Canada.
Name
Sam
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
Why homosexuality is an area of controversy between science & religion?
Answer
Dear Sam,
Thanks...very important Question.
1. Religion & its teachings are from The Creator. So it is not subject to human opinion. However, its interpretation may be subject to differences in views in some topics or controversial areas.
2. Science is about research & evidence. So our limitations in the field of science can lead to conclusions that may be seen as being in conflict with religion. However, many scientists after a long journey in research and after finding results that contradicted religion, realized that their earlier results were premature & admitted that their interpretation was not final or conclusive.
Hope this helps.
Name
anonymous
-
Profession
Question
I have three questions:
1. Does knowing WHY a person's same-sex attractions necessarily help him to heal from these feelings or decrease their intensity?
I am asking because I know a man who suffers from same-sex attractions, but his life does not fit any of the descriptions typically given for reasons. Ie, he is quite masculine, his mother was not domineering, he has always had a healthy relationship with his dad, he had a good upbringing, he was never abused in any way etc. He is confused about WHY this happened to him, and doesn't see how therapy can help him because it's so aimed at man who are feminine or who were abused or who have bad realtions with ther father. Can you suggest why this may have happened to him, and what path he should take for support.
2. Do you believe that envy or curses could ever be a cause of same-sex attraction in a person?
3. How do you help people who lose some faith in God because they or a family member of there's suffers from this. It is a very difficult problem to deal with, because it seems to stick with a person for a life. People wonder, is this problem from God or from the devil? Is it a test or a punishment?
Thank you.
Answer
Dear A,
Thanks for your questions.
1. Regarding the man you are referring to: The examples we mention about possible causes or factors are examples & not the only factors involved. An expert in this area is in a better position to find out more about these factors in this particular man & the best way to help.
2. Envy & curses: these are not known in science but culture & religion do accept these issues. However, whether or not these can lead to or help in the development of homosexuality is difficult to answer.
3. Loosing Faith in God: God is the creator who tells them what to do but none of us is in a position to question Almighty God. If we are tested by an illness or a difficulty in our life we are expected to be patient & maintain our strong belief & commitment to our religion & not the opposite. If we loose Faith in God: we lose & God never loses. God loves all of mankind & urges them to believe & to remain committed to win his positive rewards in this life & the hereafter.
Hope this helps. Please ask your friend(s) to seek Guidance from a scholar.
Name
------
-
Profession
Question
Do you agree that a man who feels homosexual feelings should get married as a way to help his problem? In fact, doesn't it make the probelm worse if he hasn't actually fully addressed it? Don't you think the best way is for the man to tell his potential wife so she can see if it's something she is willing to live with and support him with? Isn't there an islamic principle about revealing one's self to a potential partner? I feel that homosexual feelings are a problem on their own. By telling a man to simply get married, the true problem is not being addressed. It's not that they don't want to be with women, it's that they want to be with men. This is a big issue for me. I think it's wrong to involve a woman into a marriage without her knowing. Isn't that dishonest? It just seems like a more honest and more helpful thing if she does know. That way she won't feel betrayed, and she won't feel rejected, and she can help her husband deal with his problem. What do you think?
Answer
Dear --
I think I have already addressed this question earlier.
Best wishes.
Name
Anonymous
-
Profession
Question
In your practice, what is the rate of success in:
a. men getting rid of same-sex feelings TOTALLY
b. men NEVER acting on their same-sex feelings, even if they still have them.
Also, do men tend to have an easier time or a harder time dealing with same-sex attractions if they get married.
Do you deal with couples where the woman is aware? What marriages work better..when the woman knows, or when she does not know?
thank you
Answer
Dear A,
Thanks for your questions.
A. Statistics are difficult for various reasons. So it is not easy to answer your question. However, complete recovery is achievable.
B. This question is difficult to answer as we are less likely to see many people who had feelings but did not act upon them. Such people do not feel the need to seek help. Hence I can't answer this.
C. Marriage & overcoming Homosexuality: There is no general rule & it has to be answered according to the individual case, nature of the problem, level of motivation & commitment + whether the wife is supportive or not. Such men who have homosexual relationships & are married to a woman may be called Bisexual i.e. have hetero & homosexual practices.
Hope this helps.
Name
Friend
-
Profession
Question
Please give us a detailed step-by-step plan for dealing with this problem, for people who live in the west. In the west, homosexuality is not seen as a problem.
Please tell us how you deal with someone who suffers from this problem. What do you do at the beginning? What questions do you ask? What supports do you give?
Please let us know as much as possible, so we can help people who we love who suffer from this?
Answer
Dear Friend,
Thanks for these important points.
1. In the West:
There is a misunderstanding that people in the west do not consider Homosexuality as a problem. This is not correct. The vast majority of people in the west from various backgrounds & religions, believers & non believer have not accepted homosexuality as a normal pattern. It is true though that the life style & attitudes in the west may give such an impression to people who live in different cultures.
In the UK, where I live, the main public opinion views Homosexuality as being unacceptable.
2. As for how I deal with cases:
It varies according to each case, Every person is treated differently. However we need to be tactful when addressing such a problem with a person, make him or her feel safe & not threatened and reassure them about the following:
1. Confidentiality.
2. Non-judgmental approach.
3. Help is possible but needs determination & commitment
4. We do not give up on helping them as long as they feel they need help & remain motivated to change.
5. God our Creator (to those who believe in God): his forgiveness & mercy is great.
Hope this answers your questions.
Name
Anonymous050
-
Profession
Question
You say,"It is important to exclude any underlying psychiatric problems & to address any underlying psychological needs." What kinds of psychiatric problems could be the cause?
Answer
Dear A050
Thanks. In brief:
1.Psychiatric Disorders:
Example 1: I saw a male patient suffering from Schizophrenia. When not well, he believes he was a woman with a female name & dresses in female dress.
Example2: I saw a married man suffering from Manic Depressive illness. When Manic: he exposes himself to men seeking sex.
When both are well i.e. their illness is controlled, they do not do this. Hence the importance of addressing such illnesses.
Also, in OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) the patient may experience absurd thoughts that he or she was a gay while he never wanted to and never practiced homosexual practices.
2.Psychological needs: the need to find hope, love, acceptance & the ability to express their emotions & to gain their emotional needs through a healthy relationship. Also the need to overcome a longstanding sense of rejection, low self esteem, poor self confidence & the need for love even through a pathological relationship that one would not normally want or wish to be involved in. This may need a lot of work through CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) IPT (Interpersonal Therapy) or Deep Dynamic Therapy.
Hope this helps.
Name
anonymous
-
Profession
Question
I know of a person who began watching man/woman pornography at a young age (about 10 years of age, he started), then as he got older...ie. 12 he realized that he was focussing more on the man, so started watching man/man pornography. He says when he first started he was interested in women, but as he watched more, he became obssessed with watching pornography, and that's when he started feeling attracted to men in the "real world" too. COuld the pornography have caused his homosexual feelings, or did he watch that man/man pornography as a result of his homosexual feelings? Other than the pornography, absolutely nothing in his life makes it seem that he has homosexual feelings (ie. he's very masculine), and his family life is very Islamic and normal. What would motivate a young boy to even watch pornography, and could that be the cause?
Answer
Dear A,
Thanks.
Such an experience with such pornography material are likely to lead to negative effects. What you described about this brother could be one of these negative effects. Hence I urge you to advice him to avoid these materials.
