ÚÑÈí
 

Counseling:

Ask the Scholar

|

Ask About Islam

|

Hajj & `Umrah

|

Cyber Counselor

|

Parenting Counselor

 

Search »

Advanced Search »

 


Running Sessions  |  Recent Sessions  |  Archive  |  Schedule  |  Receiving Question  |  Search
 

Session Details
Guest Name Elder  George
Profession Columnist & Writer
Subject Men & Women: What is the Natural Order of Things
Date Monday,May 22 ,2006
Time Makkah
From
... 16:00...To... 18:00
GMT
From
... 13:00...To...15:00
 
Name
Host    - 
Profession
Question
The session has just started. Please feel free to join us with your questions on family and gender.

After the session has ended, you can view the whole dialogue by clicking on "Recent Sessions", or later by going through "Archives".



Answer
-
 
Name
V    - 
Profession
Question
I have read your article about The Western Attack on the Muslim Family . I have many questions, but I would like to know what makes you believe that the "emanations" as you call them of the west is feminine in principle, when in practice in the West as a matter of normalcy, the "feminine" has just become an object of exploitation to be pawned, sold, borrowed and used in more ways than one. And if the West is feminine, then what is the rest of the world then?

Answer
If you focus on only one aspect of my beliefs at this point rather than the "truth" then you will misunderstand me. I consider Asia to have the masculine emanations, and Africa the life principle.

Concerning the abuse and use of women, have you ever seen women take care of women without a masculine influence around? Even feminists are on record as saying they prefer to have men on juries in rape cases.

In the West you see the decline of the value and importance of women because of the feminine materialistic nature of the thinking. Motherhood, fatherhood, and family are not valued. Money is.

I'll be happy to answer more of your questions.

 
Name
laro    - 
Profession
Question
What do you see as a preferable in terms of what is natural for men and women?

Answer
Men should provide the environment and means for women to bring life into this world and nurture it. All else is commentary.

 
Name
Salman Zafar    - 
Profession Software Engineer
Question Today gender equality has been under much discussion, why is it that woman want to do things which are usually considered the responsibility of men, while men have never tried to get into the domain of women? Is this the inferiority complex of the feminine gender that is evolving into an improved form or is it the elimination of interdependence among genders?

Answer I answered this question before, but since we have the time I will expand upon it. There can never be a workable elimination of the interdependence of gender. One creates pregnancies and the other becomes pregnant. One nurtures and the other provides the environment for the nurturing to take place. The activity of the entire universe is that of propagating and nurturing. It is only the Western culture that emphasizes the pampering of the self, the "ME" aspect of human behavior.

It is neither. In gender characteristics the "I" is the masculine motivating force. The "ME" is the feminine receptive force. The "ME" wants to be noticed. It is quite natural for that is what attracts the "I" to do the mating. In the aberration called Western culture, which has never known extended family and in which family was not held in high regard, women noticed that respect and attention were given to people who could make money. They decided they to wanted to make money and demanded "rights" that would enable them to do it. The more money they made the more the "ME" aspect was fullfilled.
Oprah Winfrey has made over one bilion dollars being the sumbol for the "ME." It's a tragedy.

 
Name
N    - United States
Profession
Question
I have a husband of 9 years and I have 7 children. He just cannot keep a job. He will not help me with the cleaning or taking care of the children. I am a home-schooling parent, and I am going to school myself. All he wants to do is run around the streets. He often yells about his need to be respected. It has been like this for 8 years.

Are you telling me that I should go on to be dumped on because it is natural for all women to be "recepticles".

Answer
What have you done about your situation? If you are a Muslim did you see the Imam, if not did you see some other clergy? Do you have family? Does he have a brother,sister, father to whom you can speak. I don't know what you mean by run around the streets.

In a proper functioning patriarchal society the elders would meet with him and remind him that women are not to be treated that way, and he would be told in a manner that he would know they meant business.

If you are living in a non-patriachal environment and one with weak religious influences, then you are suffering from the effects of the sun natural environment, which happens to be most of Western society.

 
Name
P    - United States
Profession
Question
I need to give some counseling to some members in a youth group about platonic relationships in public schools. These girls are curious about whether they can interact as friends with boys. I need to know how to handle this question so that teenager’s could relate to my response.

Answer
Dr. Joyce Brothers stated in her column about 30 years ago that friends are of the same sex. I agree with her. The purpose of the different sexes is to mate and propagate the species. Putting unsupervised males and females together will result in that propagation. Teenagers can figure out very quickly what to do. Girls do not need boys as friends except to look them over as potential mates. That is fine and should be encouraged, but it should also be supervised.

 
Name
safieh    - Iraq
Profession teacher
Question
My husband has this hatred of women, his parents had problems all the time. Now he makes all the decisions concerning our family business with his sister; even decorating the house and he gives me no rights in anything. He even decided our children's education with his family.What can I do? I asked him to go to a counselor together, he said that I have mental problems and that I should see one. Thanks for your help.

Answer
If you believe in counseling take the first step--go see one. Then let him follow suit. In all of life it takes two to tango. We all of us end up in the evironments that we needed at the time, God makes no mistakes, only we do. Take a good look in the mirror. When a person changes, everything around them changes as well. Also, somwetimes, when one is ready to move on, those who who we want to move on are reluctant to change abd make that move. Try to resolve your issue becuase divorce should be the last resort.



 
Name
Deepti    - India
Profession
Question
What are the advantages and disadvantages of co-education in schools and colleges?

Answer
Men and women think differently. Women think materially, they know what they can see. Men think conceptually. Co-education must be attuned to female thinking otherwise thy will be left out. This makes the males uncomfortable and accounts for the high mail drop out rates in college and increased male truancy in high schools. Grade school boys cannot drop out so they are given the drug Ritalin to make them endure the female environment that they are subjected to.

Having opposite sexes in the same classroom creates sexual tension, which detracts from learning. Every experiment at single sex education found that both sexes enjoyed it best.

There are no intellectual advantages to co-education.

See Also:
Educating the Whole Brain



 
Name
abdullah    - 
Profession
Question
Do you believe that men and women compliment one another or should they be going head-to-head competing against each other? Which of the two do you think is more prevalent in western society and why?

Answer
Ideally, men and women supplement each other. There is an old Kenyan proverb that states "What you do not find in a man you find in a woman, and what you do not find in a woman you find in a man".

Western society has no concept of the purpose of human existence. It is 180 degrees out of phase with the natural order of things. I am not a Muslim, but to the West the natural order of things is haram. Don't touch it!

 
Name
sayyad    - 
Profession IT consultant
Question
I am at a precarious junction in my life. I am now expected by everyone in my family to get married. I feel I am not ready yet(26 is my age) and I don't think I can handle mood swings and the eratic behavior of the fairer sex. I am not going through any phase or anything - this a reflection of my feelings that I have harbored for years. I also feel that I have to spend my life serving the less fortunate people of our Ummah. Can all this be balanced? Have I made any sense to you?

Answer
We all search are souls, that's the reason for our existence, in order to grow spiritually. I am a strong beleiver in marriage, but a woman can also nurture the race without being married or having children. Listen to your inner voice, but be prepared to reap the consequences of whatever they might be.

Peace

 
Name
Amal    - 
Profession
Question As salamu `alaykum

Good afternoon,

I would like to know your opinion of the American 'superwoman' who straddles the responsiblities of the home, a full time high powered career and children, needless to say that the home entails taking care of the husband (which many feminists say is not a woman's duty).

As a young Muslim woman, I myself am living in the West, I was raised in the West and have enjoyed the benefits of a higher education. I have a rewarding job, but also a marriage. In fact I have a very peaceful marriage al hamdu lillah due to my insistence in taking care of my household duties and my husband. I know that if I was to take an extremely demanding (time and energy)career the rest of the home would suffer.

When the woman of the house if happy the rest usually follows... So, having said all of this, do you think that American marriages fail so often due to the instability between the two genders? Do you see any hope for North America in the future? Or is it simply a downward spiral in terms of relationships between husbands and wives...? Thank you for your time.

Jazak Allahu Khayran

Answer
You're perceptive. Western society is in a downward spiral and is dragging the rest of the world down with it. Unfortunately it is not receptive to others thoughts. The World Health Organization announced last year that the number on mental health issue of England, the United States, and Canada is increasing. We're going crazy here!

Concerning your duties to your husband, the power of submission is much greater than the power of independence.

As a woman you were created to bring life into this world and to nurture it. Every activity in life was designed to serve that end.

Stay with it.

See Also:
British Teenagers Sitting on a Mental Health Time-Bomb
High Rate of Depression Amongst the Young
Kids and Career Don't Mix

 
Name
muslima    - 
Profession
Question
I do not agree with your view of "receptive" female nature. I believe in family values, and women play an important role in the workforce. I don't think going to the other extreme of 'masculine superiority' will do any good to bring family structure back. Thank You.

Answer
All accomlishments in the universe is based upon a pregnancy. The assertive influence creates it and the receptive entity produces what the assertive influence initiated. Mother earth produces what was put into her. If we plant corn seeds she produces corn. If we plant radishes she produces radishes.
She can never produce want wasn't emplanted. She is receptive.

The North pole sends a charge to the South pole, which becomes pregnant and produces magnetism. The adnode sends a charge to the cathode, which become pregnant and produces electrons.

When the masculine influence is removed from society as in the West, it become flacid and degenerates.

Two assertive influences can produce nothing, nor can two rceptive entities.

 
Name
Batula    - Nigeria
Profession
Question
As salamu `alaykum,

I got married two years ago. My husband and I agreed that I was going to continue my banking career even after our marriage. I considered that as I have a job,I wouldn't have much problem with the remaining wives who had little Western education. Immediately after our honey moon. The first day, he was taking me to work, he started complaining that my job is a problem to him. After lots of headache, I left the job under the condition that I will do some business. It is seven months now. He has not kept to his promise. He made me sell my properties e.g my car,land etc.He doesn't give me enough money.I can't assist my family becuase I was the breadwinner. Even though he has promised to take care of them, he doesn't. He got me a job as an editor in a magazine and the pay is just less than 1/3 of my previous salary. When I reminded him of the promise he made in the holy land, he threatened to send me back becuase anything can happen. I try to keep myself busy writing an Islamic book.



Would say that this is within my husbands rights and that I am all wrong?
Answer
I wouldn't say that. Where did you get married? Didi (sister), don't the parents have any say in it? Don't you have anyone to turn to? All women should have a recourse to their domestic problems. That's all I can say at the moment. You can ask this question again with more detail about your environment.

 
Name
Hashim    - Malawi
Profession Journalist
Question
In my country Malawi, Christians feel offended when Muslims preach that Jesus Christ was not crucified on the cross and that he is not the son of God. Is it right proper for Muslims to skip statements like Jesus is not the son of God and that he was not crucified when preaching about Jesus Christ?
Answer
It depends on where you are and who you're audience is. I do not like to challenge a persons beliefs. There is but one truth, the differences in religion are the human differences in understanding of the one truth. Worship God, live your life as best you can,and love your fellow man.
 
Name
Rasha    - 
Profession
Question
Men - Women, Define?

Answer
Men are the human manifestation of the masculine principle and women are the human manifestation of the feminine principle.

Consciousness Principles of Life
Islam and the Retrieval of Gender

 
Name
Mustafa    - Malaysia
Profession IT professional
Question
Dear Sir,
I agree that men and women have different roles to play. But given the order of things today, especially the heavy economic burden on the family and rising materialism of the typical life in the big city, how can one keep his priorities according to what he thinks to be right and natural?

Thank you

Answer
That's exactly what one must do, maintain the priorities. Al-Hassan said, "Beware of this world with all wariness, for it is like a snake, smooth to the touch but its venom is deadly." The materialism that you see willl pass. What God has created will remain. You have to make your own decision.



 
Name
Lady Fingers    - Bahamas
Profession
Question Would you not agree, Mr. Elder, that Islam denigrates the role of women by restricting her from the pleasures enjoyed by men?
Answer
What pleasures are those? When you tell me I'll give you my answer.

 
Name
Mullahamor    - Bangladesh
Profession
Question
There may be a problem in west, but here we practise Shari'ah and if a female believer so much as questions the law, we send her out to be lashed. Highly effective and recomended to all Muslims (swt).

Answer
I don't think you'll get many who are tuned in here to agree with you.

Questioning the law has its attributes. It leads to knowledge. Unquestioning leads to enforced belief and frequently ressentment.

See Also:

Islamic Shari`ah Knows no Discrimination
Are Women Equal to Men in Reward and Punishment?
 
Name
Percival    - Gibraltar
Profession Tugboat Skipper
Question
To what do you attribute your renowned ability to address the problem with absolution cognizance?


Answer
What problem and what cognizance?

 
Name
Rais    - India
Profession Selfemployed
Question Good Evening.
First of all I would like to show my appreciation for the work you all do together. People can learn a lot from this site if he/she is really serious for the quest of Islam.

My Question:

it is natural that if a human being sees someone from the opposite gender, there is some pleasure which one wants to repeat. What stops a person from repeating only to waste time in the long run? How can one convince him/her(self)
not to do so?

Thanks.


Answer
I'm sorry, I don't understand your question.
 
Name
Salman Zafar    - 
Profession Software Engineer
Question Today gender equality has been in much discussion, why is that, that woman want to do things which are usually considered responsibility of men, while men never tried to get into domain of woman? Is this the inferiority complex of feminine gender that is evolving into improved form? or it is the elimination of interdependence among genders

It is neither. In gender characteristics the "I" is the masculine motivating force. The "ME" is the feminine receptive force. The "ME" wants to be noticed. It is quite natural for that is what attracts the "I" to do the mating. In the aberration called Western culture, which has never known extended family and in which family was not held in high regard, women noticed that respect and attention were given to people who could make money. They decided they to wanted to make money and demanded "rights" that would enable them to do it. The more money they made the more the "ME" aspect was fullfilled.
Oprah has made over one bilion dollars being the sumbol for the "ME." It'ds a tragedy.

Answer -
 
Name
Rais    - India
Profession Selfemployed
Question

Good EVENING:
First of all i would like to appretiate for the work you all are doing together and really people can learn alot from this site if he/she is really serious for the quest of Islam.
My Question:
it is natural that a human being if sees opposite sex gets some pleasure and wants to do many more times.what that keeps him in this business again and again but of only loss of time at the end. how one can convince him/her(self)
not to do so.
Thanks.

Answer
When you clarify your question you can send it to me at mensaction@hotmail.com and I will answer it.

 
Name
Editor    - 
Profession
Question Finally, we would like to thank Elder George for taking the time to answer the questions of Islam Online viewers today, and we also thank all those who participated in this dialogue. We apologize for not being able to accommodate all the questions within the time allocated to this session. If you feel your question is very important, feel free to contact us at society_iol@hotmail.com and we will try our best to answer your question. Join us in upcoming sessions... In the meantime, please take a look at these related Live Dialog's:

Male Self-Image and Self Development
A Return to Single-Sexed Classes?

 

News | Shari`ah | Health & Science | Politics in Depth | Reading Islam | Family | Culture | Youth | Euro-Muslims | IOL Radio

About Us | Speech of Sheikh Qaradawi | Contact Us | Advertise | Support IOL | Site Map