I read your book recently and enjoyed it very much. You must've learned a lot from your daughter and son-in-law about Islam. Have you ever considered converting?
Answer
I'm glad you enjoyed the book. Yes, I learned a lot about Islam from my daughter and son-in-law, but I learned much on my own as I prepared to write the book, as I interacted with other Muslims, and attending conferences such as ISNA.
I am often asked if I have ever considered converting to Islam. No, I never have. I am a very committed Christian and deeply involved in practice and ministry. However, I am part of a denomination that has always encouraged me to appreciate all religions and to be open to the world around me.
So it has been with appreciation that I have come to know more about Islam and to interact with those people who are Muslims. Before my son-in-law came into our lives, I had never even met a Muslim.
I think it is possible to study other religions and deeply appreciate what it stands for without embracing it myself.
Name
Aisha
- United States
Profession
Question
How do you feel about Islam after you have learned about it?
Answer
I have great appreciation for Islam and am thankful I was pushed to learn about it in the effort to understand what my daughter had chosen. I was amazed at the wonderful Muslims I met and felt a sisterhood with the deep commitment to God I recognized in their lives.
I would find it hard myself to be a practicing Muslim especially as a woman. But I very much identify with the values and commitment to God that is encouraged.
Name
Ismail
- Canada
Profession
Question
Do you notice that there were any commonalities in the women you spoke with that caused them to turn to Islam?
Answer
The women that answered my questionnaire were fairly well educated women, had been Christians in the past, and were ones who were at the time wearing hijab. Some of the commonalities seemed to be the quest they were on to find something more in their lives than seemed to have been fulfilled by their experience as Christians. Often they became interested because they were going to marry (or had married) Muslim men. These men were often very religiously mature and committed to God--something hard to find in the same age group of American men.
Some of the women also stated confusion about the Trinity concept in Christianity and Muslims seem to have good arguments for answers emphasizing one God. They were able to make black and white what so often are gray areas in Christianity.
Also the young adult age is a time when most of these women converted to Islam and that is a time for searching and questioning childhood and youth beliefs and experiences.
Name
Khadijah
- United States
Profession
Question
What was your first reaction when your daughter became Muslim?
Answer
It was the grieving experience of my life! I really wanted to push her away and not have anything more to do with her. But I could not do that. I wanted a relationship with her more than what I wanted to reject her. So . . . although it took several months--even years to fully come to reconciliation, we both worked at it and helped each other. Jodi was very caring and although there was distance apart in where we lived, we found by letter, phone, and visits, ways to eventually grow close again. Thank heavens!
Name
Mustapha
- United States
Profession
Question
How do most of the American women that you have spoken to feel about embracing Islam?
Answer
I am going to assume that the American women you are referring to are those who have NOT embraced Islam. A few of the women express real interest in the book or in questions they ask when I speak. But very often I receive letters from women who want to set me straight on the "real Islam" and it is from a negative viewpoint. Others of my friends who have read the book will never mention it to me again. It is as if they don't even want to discuss it.
So my general feeling is that the book does not move them very much in their attitudes about Islam. They are basically comfortable where they are and with the prevailing American attitudes of Islam.
Name
Muhammad
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
What was the hardest thing for you as a non-Muslim mother to accept when your daughter became Muslim?
Answer
Probably wearing the cover. I think if she had come to me without hijab and had told me what she had done, I would not have had the terrible reaction that I did. The hijab (to me) was such a symbol of subserviance of women and so strange and even embarrassing to be with her in public. But even without her wearing hijab, as I would learn more about the practices and the requirements for changing from our tradition, I think I would have become more and more upset and would still have had to deal with it all.
Other difficult things were dietary halal requirements, celebrations such as Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving. And the difficulty of going into church with us and never letting the grandchildren go to anything at church has been hard.
Name
Zahra
- Canada
Profession
Question
What changes did you notice in your daughter's character after she became Muslim?
Answer
She was a very spiritual person during childhood and youth. But perhaps she became more disciplined in the prayers and following of the laws. She wasn't as fun-loving and life became more difficult and serious for her. She was at the university in nurses' training and as she took on wearing hijab and learning all the practices and working and going to school and coping with her parental disappointments, life became very hard.
She also seemed to reject former friends and even relationships with relatives that had been close before. Her life became centered in Muslim friends(especially Iranian friends of husband). It was as if we lost her, but over the years we rebuilt that relationship. We actually found her to be who we thought she would be, only more subject to the authority of her husband rather than the mutual relationship we would have hoped for her.
So guess I would say she was still Jodi--just an Islamic version!
Name
Muhammad
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
It is interesting that you mentioned the halal dietary requirements as being a hardship because I thought that traditonally, Judaism, Christianity and Islam were all similar in dietary guidelines. Don't you find that to be the case?
Answer
Not at all for Christianity. They could not eat any of our meat unless it was specifically purchased from Islamically prepared meats. The fact that they couldn't eat pork didn't bother us. It was just that vegetarian and some fish meals were all we could share. When they moved closer to us, they provided us with halal meat that we kept in the freezer to have when they came.
We do not drink alcohol, so that was not a problem, but I could see it as being very upsetting to families who do have alcoholic beverages.
As far a Christian dietary laws, we are not restricted in the foods we eat. And I don't know about Judaism dietary laws.
Name
Somayyah
- United States
Profession
Question
Do you think that Islam and Christianity have similar beliefs? What do you think is the major difference (other than secondary issues, such as hijab)?
Answer
There seem to be so many values and beliefs that are similar. That finding for me was very reassuring. And also the scriptures in the Qu'ran are very similar and relate to the Old Testament and even some of the New Testament of the Bible.
A main issue of difference seems to be the concept of Christ. Although Muslims believe in Jesus as a great Prophet and Messenger of God, Christians believe in Jesus as much more.
Then of course there is the belief that Islam is the only way and Christians believe that "being saved through Christ" is the only way. How can those two divergent paths ever be resolved?!
Name
Haroon
- United States
Profession
Question
Do you think that what you saw from your daughter and son-in-law was more cultural than Islam (the subservience aspect)?
Answer
It would be difficult for me as a non-Muslim to differentiate between Islam and the cultural. In regard to the subservient note, I understand that most often the discussions in the mosque in the women's meetings deal with hijab and how to relate to the husband as head of the house.
My daughter really treats people in her life very well, it's just that, yes, it did change some of her relationships which is understandable. She was taking on a new lifestyle and other parts had to be put aside.
Name
Muhammad
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
Actually, Muslims are allowed to eat the meat of what we call "Ahl ul-Kitab" or people of the Book (Christians and Jews). Therefore, it seems that they made your lives difficult in the respect of dietary (eating meats) unnecessarily. Jews have the same guidelines for slaughtering meat also, right? That's what it means to eat kosher meats?
Answer
Oh, well, we've learned to deal with it. Just at the first, it seemed like another of those overwhelming changes with which to deal. Now it has become sort of matter-of-fact.
