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Name
Amal
- Tunisia
Profession
Question
Salam, for the past few decades women have been campaigning for equal rights. We don't hear many voices from Muslim women. Why?
Answer
Selma:
Assalam alaikum, and many thanks for your question.
Muslim women know their rights, obligations, boundaries and the nature and role of their life through the Qur`an and the Sunnah. We don't look for equal rights with men because we have our own identity, role, and value that is independent from men. Allah created all people, men and women, equal in His sight and this is the basis of our life together on earth. People can only be superior to each other through piety.
Mankind as a collective unit (including men and women) has proven unable to successfully legislate for itself, likewise in the realm of 'women's rights' the feminist movement has often failed to take their rights without imposing on the rights of the other and sadly until now in many instances they are still fighting for their basic rights. Surely the Creator of man and woman is the only One who knows His creation and can define their rights, duties, boundaries and the guidelines for their existence. Truly the Creator loves us more than we love ourselves.
Many Muslim women around the world are being oppressed but this is not because of Islamic principles and guidelines but because Muslims fail to abide by the letter and spirit of Islamic guidelines. So when the Muslim woman campaigns, it is not for 'equal' rights (in the feminist context) but for her Islamic rights, and she does so knowing exactly what she is entitled to in the sight of the Creator.
However, in every day life the problem of Muslim women being oppressed is sometimes because both men and women do not understand what Islam says about this and they often rely on cultural values and interpretations of the Quran and Sunnah or on misinterpretations to define life roles and boundaries. So lack of knowledge is indeed a problem. Perhaps the first step for Muslim women to make is to increase knowledge of the rights and role of Muslim women and spread this among both men and women. Some women have been led to follow the reductionist perspective of Islamic practice; thinking that it is piety to be a recluse and far away from life and community responsibilities.
May Allah guide us to the thinking and behavior that is pleasing to Him.
Naseema:
Thank you for your question. First, I will say that women all over the world usually receive the short end of the stick. Second, while many Muslim women also endure prejudices, we have to keep in mind that Islam grants women all her rights. It is the patriarchal system and in some societies the insecurity of men that prevent women from attaining their rights.
Also, the aims of western women and Muslim women differ. Muslim women do not seek to be like men as in the eyes of Allah we are equal, but to fight for the rights that Allah has granted us. So while women in the west and Muslim women are both fighting for their rights, the priorities differ.
Name
Imran Bashir
-
Profession
Education
Question
Does Islam support "feminist movements". If not, on what grounds it rejects such trends?
Answer
Selma:
Assalam alaikum, and many thanks for your question. The feminist movement grew out of western culture and the problems associated with it at the end of the 1800s. The women in those days and until now who are fighting for their rights have the right to do so! Their problems are legitimate and they have their own reasons for their struggle and their own way to struggle.
Muslim women are given their Islamic rights by the Creator but often they suffer from the same problems as the non-Muslim women. And this is where the situation can become confusing. That is, how should Muslim women fight for their rights?
Non-Muslim women who campaign for their rights have their own context, and likewise the Muslim women have their own context. As was mentioned in a previous answer, the Muslim women are oppressed when the men (and sometimes even women themselves) fail to abide by Qur`an and Sunnah. People's misbehavior and wrong interpretations of Islam have a huge and negative impact on the thinking and behavior that affects Muslim women as well as the freedoms given to them.
So for Muslim women, the answer is to go back to Qur`an and Sunnah - not to take up the western model of women's liberation that has its own context and boundaries. The struggle of Muslim women to obtain and secure their rights is to spread knowledge and understanding of the rights and freedoms given to them by the Almighty, as well as forming organizations that can protect and advise Muslim women and these organizations should be based on Islam.
The situation has become more cloudy in recent years as Muslims migrated away from Muslim countries or people reverted to Islam in western countries and so often face injustices at the hands of imams, the Muslim community itself, or family members who seek to impose their own narrow or false interpretations on what it means to be a Muslim woman.
At the same time some Muslim women in western countries get caught up in the feminist struggle to obtain their rights - tackling issues like domestic violence, husbands failing to pay maintenance money for the wife etc (all legitimate things to struggle against) but the way they have chosen to struggle often takes them in a different direction - away from Islamic guidelines and teachings, even though it may appear to reduce some problems.
Many Muslim women are actively committed to a variety of Islamic organizations around the world serving Muslim women and organizing counseling, safe houses, advice on legal matters, fostering, and other necessary services to help women who are victims of the same problems that face Muslim and non-Muslim women! But the Muslim women should do this work independently and help each other in these problems, because we have our own way of dealing with each other, we have the Qur`an and Sunnah to guide us and our intentions are for Allah. Obviously we have different ways of dealing with the same problems that face the women involved in the feminist movement - we face the same problems but have our own way of dealing with them and this independence is important so we don't move away from Islamic teachings.
Naseema:
Thank you for your interesting question. I think that 'feminist movements' have lost the plot. They may have achieved certain successes, but largely women in the west still endure the same prejudices as before.
What is unfortunate is that most Muslim women themselves do not know the rights granted to them in Islam. Muslim women do not need to work, for instance. It is their choice. For men, on the other hand, it is their obligation to provide for their families. Muslim women are not obligated to pray in the masjids, it is a choice. Can you imagine the pressure and stress if women were obligated to perform the tasks assigned to men!!
Muslim women are recognized for their intellect and their capabilities, not their bodies. In the west, we still see the exploitation of women's bodies in advertising, for instance. As Muslim women, covering ourselves and maintaining our dignity is the essence of liberation; we are not judged by our outer appearance.
Name
A'eisha
- Australia
Profession
Question
Thank you sisters for this topic. I was wondering, both of you coming from multi-cultural, multi-religious countries, what is it like to be interacting with women from all different backgrounds?
Answer
Selma:
Assalam alaikum, many thanks for your question. Women have so many things in common and are usually able to identify with each other. Then when you top that off with Islam as the common element between women, you have a unity of sisterhood that is really amazing.
I have met Muslim women from many countries (speaking English of course to communicate!) and there is harmony, understanding, and definitely a head start when it comes to organizing something or discussing a problem. There is so much unspoken understanding. We know where we're coming from and what we're doing and why. You will find that Muslim women will talk about the blessings of their lives and thank Allah, they'll discuss the problems and be able to see the way out in an Islamic context and if the way out isn't clear, they'll trust in Allah.
I've met so many young Muslim women, you know, around 18 to 26 or so, and they have such strong personalities and a very fresh clear vision of their lives. I'm amazed at the characteristics they've developed in themselves - things like inner strength, insight, confidence, eloquence, gentleness and kindness - all rolled into one amazing person! Young women from Malaysia, Canada, the UK, Africa, and more.
There is a lot of ignorance in the world about the role of Muslim women, there is a lot of stereotyping going on, and many obstacles are placed in the way of young Muslim women trying to emerge in the world and make a positive impact - but one thing is for sure, Allah is the Controller of all things and He sends young people who truly pave the way for others and set a wonderful example of all the nuances of the Muslim woman.
Naseema:
Well, in South Africa during apartheid, we did not really get to know each other as the apartheid system kept us away from each other. Since the end of apartheid in 1994, I've gotten to know more people, especially more women from different backgrounds. And you know what, we all basically have the same concerns: our careers, families, safety, prosperity. It doesn't help to build barriers between people; they lead to animosity and suspicion. We may have different opinions, goals, priorities but we are in this world together and it serves a greater purpose when we learn to understand and support each other.
Name
Adam
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
Salamu alaikom. Is it right for Muslim women to marry someone from outside their culture?
Answer
Selma:
Assalam alaikum, and many thanks for your question. There is no one answer to this. The important thing is that you marry someone who is suitable for you; someone who is compatible. The idea of marriage is that each person enriches the other; that both parties grow and share life together. The idea is that you have someone who helps you to be a better Muslim. Now that person, may or may not come from your cultural background.
People have different ideas about this subject so be sure you will never ever please everyone. Even in one family there will be people who will be for and those who will be against and each will have a long list of reasons. So you have to seek Allah's guidance for yourself and use your logic, not just emotion, to make a good and wise decision.
Some people will say that inter-cultural marriage enriches the relationship and provides more variety in life and makes the relationship more interesting. Others might say that to marry within one's own culture is safe; you know the habits and expectations of the person. So again, in the end you are the one who will be married to that person, so you have to be sure he/she is suitable for you! But always pray salatul istikara before making any decision and consult your family and trusted friends.
Naseema:
This is a very relevant question. In Islam we are taught that we are all equal, no one is better than another person except in good deeds accepted by Allah.
In most parts of the world, we are still faced with the problem of cross-cultural marriages. Parents still want their children to marry from their own culture. This is not the way of Islam. We still find in many cultures, women being 'disowned' by their families for marrying a man from another culture, even if he is a practising Muslim.
The Qur'an tells us that we have been created into nations and tribes so that we may know one another. Nowhere does Islam assign superiority of one people over another, but societies based on class and caste is
man's creation.
The issue of cross-cultural marriages is more prevalent in multi-racial societies, like in the UK, USA, Australia, etc as opposed to homogenous societies. As Muslims, it is up to us to challenge such primitive ways of thinking. Remember that when the Arabs brought Islam to North Africa, they married with the locals and did not isolate themselves.
It is permissible for Muslim women and Muslim men to marry from another culture. We should see this as something positive.
Name
Deema
- France
Profession
Question
Salamu alaykum. Part of being a Muslim woman is to wear the hijab but I'm afraid because these days people are so prejudiced against Muslims. Can't I just dress modestly without the headscarf?
Answer
Selma:
Assalam alaikum, thanks so much for your question. I'm sorry to hear that you're having problems with wearing hijab. It is true that in many places around the world there are people who are hostile toward Islam. This is usually because of misinformation, fearful images portrayed by the media, or sadly, because of the bad behavior of some Muslims.
But at the same time there are so many Muslim women, young and old, who have faced this dilemma and are struggling to retain their identity as well as be a good example of Islam. Here is one good example. You can read the news story on this link about a young Muslim woman who became a life-guard in Australia and wears a burkhini!
There are numerous examples of young Muslim women being active in their universities through the Muslims Students Association as well as in local Islamic centers. Wearing hijab, they go out and do volunteer work, and are active in their communities. Many finish university and become professionals in a variety of fields and live their lives with their Islamic identity intact. They respect others and require others to respect them.
Also in many western countries there are laws in place that ensure the rights of Muslims to practice Islam and this includes our right to wear hijab. Unfortunately many Muslims are not aware of equal opportunity laws and regulations and so live in fear, strip themselves of their Islamic identity and try to creep around unnoticed in their society. Isn't it much nobler and more dignified to stand up for your rights in a decent, calm, respectable way?
Naseema:
As many would like to believe, the headscarf is not a symbol, but a command from Allah for women to cover their hair. While some consider this to be an obstacle to the freedom of women, as Muslims we accept that the headscarf liberates us, rather than
oppresses us. I personally found this to be true when I chose to wear the headscarf five years ago.
As Muslims, we should not shy away from our obligations, but to take the time to explain to those who do not understand our reasons for wearing the headscarf. Most of the time, people do not understand and it is human nature to fear what we do not understand. When you explain it to people, it breaks down the barrier and even if they are not convinced, they will at least understand and respect your decision.
Do not be apologetic for being Muslim. As long as your life is not in danger, you should ask Allah's help for the courage to wear your headscarf.
Name
Taqwa
- Algeria
Profession
Question
I have a problem. I can't seem to find the balance between respecting my parents and taking my rights. For example, my parents don't see the need for me to go to university but I want to get a degree in social work. I really want to make a difference. If I insist it will cause a huge rift in the family.
Answer
Naseema:
This is unfortunately a common problem. Speak to your parents gently and explain to them what it means to be a social worker. Explain to them the duties of a social worker and the type of issues they have to deal with, and how you could make a difference.
Many parents are afraid that if they send their daughters to university, they will go astray. And some people still believe that it is not important for women to study. We must bear in mind that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that seeking knowledge is an obligation on every man and woman. So we have to educate ourselves and we have to seek knowledge throughout our lives, till we die.
Ask your parents what are their fears re you going to university. Then explain to them the importance of attending university and the importance of attaining knowledge. Try your best to not insist forcefully, but to continue speaking with them gently until they understand. Wish you all the best.
Selma:
Assalam alaikum, many thanks for your question. This is a tough situation. It is difficult to disagree with parents and even more difficult to face conflict and perhaps isolation. But the reason behind their thinking may be that they do not understand your rights as a Muslim woman. Also they might not be aware of the good you can do as a Muslim social worker. Perhaps you could try to touch their hearts by discussing issues that face the Muslim community and while doing this, do not even mention you studying at university.
Through the conversation, you could bring up issues like the need for finding Muslim foster homes, the large number of Muslim youth who are involved in drug and alcohol related crimes, the large number of Muslim women who are ill-treated by violent husbands and so on. Then when they are sympathetic to such problems, start to gently explain that you want to help and that it’s a duty on all Muslims to help so as to eradiate these heart-breaking problems.
Then your next step would be to introduce the kinds of things you would be learning and give lots of examples. Get a hold of a text book and mention the issues. The other thing is that online courses are becoming more and popular and are a good alternative for people who want to study university courses but without having to be on-campus. So take a look at the distance learning alternatives and do not give up in your quest. It is vital that the Muslim community has counselors, social workers and all fields of professionals to strengthen our identity and do good wherever we are. All the best.
Name
Sondos
- United Arab Emirates
Profession
Question
Salamu alaikom sisters. Do you think we have good female role models today?
Answer
Selma:
Assalam alaikum, and many thanks for your question. Yes, I do think we have many good examples of Muslim women today. The problem is that perhaps they are not highlighted enough so that everyone can know about them. What we are trying to do on Youth 4 the Future is highlight the work and activities of various Muslim women around the world. This might not be just individuals working but groups of women who are truly good examples. You know, it is often the unsung heros of the world who initiate change. These are the people we are looking for to put online so that others can benefit from their stories.
In Australia I know women who have devoted their lives to helping young people who have been caught up in juvenile detention centers. They offer them counseling and advice and so on. They are young women (under 30 years of age!!) who initiate projects with the government to get funding for these young people to help them make a fresh start in their lives. They don't look for recognition; they just get on and do the work.
I remember the young women who taught me about Islam when I was a new Muslim. They were sisters from Malaysia and were studying at university at that time. Their average age was about 25 years old but their knowledge of Islam, their calmness, insight, patience, and sheer inner beauty certainly touched my heart and they had the job of teaching me! What a challenge I was! I'm so grateful to Allah for sending them into my life. So young, yet so ready to give and help people make changes and so the cycle of good continues and as time passes, the impact of one person is felt all over; good generates good.
So the answer is a very big yes! There are indeed wonderful female role models. But we won't find them in the glossy magazines or on TV perhaps. One might be your own mother, your aunty, a woman in your community - sometimes we just don't see the beauty and goodness around us even if it's in front of our own eyes.
Naseema:
During the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and throughout Islamic history, women have played a pivotal role in their communities and society, in war, in the market place, in politics. So we have many role models that we could try to emulate.
Role models do not have to necessarily be famous people. We can be inspired by ordinary women who strive to make a better world. Every individual has a duty and responsibility, and when we have an opportunity to do good, then we have no excuse not to. In South Africa there are many ordinary women who have opened their hearts to Aids orphans, for instance.
On a broader scale, I have to admire Wangari Mathaai of Kenya. Her struggle to prevent the destruction of forests in Kenya is outstanding, and her achievement of getting a million trees planted should positively challenged.
There are many role models, we just have to seek them or become role models ourselves. Since Islam encompasses all aspects of life, we can make a difference in all spheres: science, economics, humanitarian, environment, sports, medicine, arts, and so on.
Name
Sara
-
Profession
Question
Salam Aleykoum. What are the rights of a married woman in an islamic perspective?
Women have to suffer many injustices in their life due to prejudices and traditions. Jazakallah wa Khair
Answer
Naseema:
Married women have rights like all Muslim women do. A wife should be provided for and treated kindly by her husband. He should not harm her, neglect her or be cruel to her in any way. He should consult her when making decisions, should say kind words to her, should appreciate her efforts, should respect her and teach their children to respect her.
Unfortunately in many communities we witness a 'dictator/slave' relationship between husbands and wives, whereas in Islam a husband and wife are each other's partner and share in the duties and responsibilities. They both must be kind to each other and feel safe with each other.
As mentioned earlier many Muslim women are do not what their rights are in Islam. It is the duty of every Muslim women to educate herself and know what her rights are.
Selma:
Assalam alaikum, many thanks for your question. I’ve put some links here from IslamOnline.net concerning this issue. I hope they will serve to give you a full and concise answer to your question.
It is a fact that women suffer due to traditions and prejudices and we should never stop in our struggle to put things right. First of all, when faced with any kind of difficulty or hardship we should turn to Allah the Almighty for guidance and help.
Be sure that no problem is without a solution and that we will all face life’s tests. The problem of injustices occurring within marriage is worsened by the attitude of many imams and in many cases, the collective attitude of the Muslim community. It is often considered ‘un-Islamic’ when a Muslim woman seeks help because of an abusive or unjust husband. Often she will be told to be ‘patient’ and basically to just go home and get on with her life. However, this is so wrong and for real change to come about Muslim women need the support of the men and particularly the imams.
This has been done successfully in some places like Canada, the UK, the US and other places where the Muslim community has taken the necessary steps to confront this problem.
The important thing is to speak out and not remain silent. There are Islamic organizations that seek to assist women in such situations. Even if there isn’t one where you live, contact one in another place and ask if they have any contacts where you live.
Assalamu Alaikum Sisters. How do you view a successful woman in Islamic Perspective? Is she has to be a career woman? or only a housewife or both? Please carify.
Answer
Selma:
Assalam alaikum, and many thanks for your question. The idea is to live your life in such a way that you are pleasing the Almighty and fulfilling your potential as a human being. Everyone has something important and significant to add to this world. We all walk along the path of life that belongs to us alone and seeking fulfillment is necessary to be truly successful; happy. That doesn’t mean that in doing so you neglect or ignore the rights of others. On the contrary, we can never be truly happy unless the people we love and are responsible for, are happy and fulfilled too.
There are many women who have managed to fulfill their potential or at least strive to do so, while at the same time, help others to fulfill theirs and this is the great success.
For some women they will be fulfilled by being active in the community, others by serving as a professional in some capacity, while yet others are fulfilled by caring for family members, the disabled, or the sick and needy. No role in life is less important or significant than another. It’s not about accumulating wealth or prestige; it’s about serving Allah and mankind in the way that comes naturally to us; that brings us peace of mind and happiness when we are doing that thing. For example, some women will be so content and in their element when working in a laboratory, while another woman will be content and fulfilled to write books. Both activities are good and important. So find the thing that you are good at; that you can do to serve Allah and develop yourself and your community and then follow that path while caring for and respecting the people around you.
Naseema:
Thank you for your question. In Islam men and women have been assigned specific tasks. In Islam we do not have the term 'housewife' although the term is used commonly. A man is responsible for providing for his family, a woman is responsible for maintaining the household. This does not mean that a women's life is confined to the home only. She has a role to play in society and in her community. A woman can work, although she is not obliged to.
A successful Muslim woman is one who obeys Allah and follows the teachings of our Prophet (peace be upon him); one who makes positive contributions to society without compromising her family and her religion. A Muslim woman does not have to be just one or the other, but she has a choice to be anything she wants as long as she is not going against the teachings of Islam.
There are many educated Muslim women who get a degree for the purpose of status and then marry and stay at home not making any positive contribution to society. What is the point in that! Also, there are Muslim women who work and neglect their home and children. This is also not correct. There has to be a balance.
If we always bear in mind that whatever we do in our homes and in our careers is for the sake of Allah, then we will always strive to do our best in all that we do. As long as we are making a positive contribution and not harming anyone and not violating anyone's rights, then we are successful.
