Welcome to tonight's Youth Tuesday Live Dialogue session. We look forward to your participation in tonight's session. We will start with opening remarks from our guest hosts.
Answer
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Name
Tannaz
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Profession
Question
I'd like to hear from the sisters out there regarding their feelings of wearing hijab, especially those in public schools.
Answer
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Name
Behnaz
- United States
Profession
student
Question
What's the point of hijab?
Answer
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Name
parween
- Afghanistan
Profession
Question
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Answer
Hijab was prescribed to us by Allah (SWT) and it is for women's own good. It avoids attraction. The Hijab-wearing women that I have talked to feel safe when they go outside. It is the fact that men usually do not look or disturb Hijab-wearing women.
Name
Haroon
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Profession
Answer
I know being a brother, I can't begin to understand what it feels like to understand hijab. However, I can say that I appreciate the sisters who struggle by wearing the hijab.
Name
Haroon
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Profession
Answer
Let's talk about the type of peer pressure that sisters go through when it comes to wearing hijab.
Name
Khalil
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Profession
Question
I would definately agree with brother Haroon. May Allah help the sisters...
Amin.
Answer
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Name
sorayia
- France
Profession
Question
Salam aleykoum,
What must we do to be respected when we wear hidjab, when we wabt to work with it in our non_muslim society, how to feel proud about that?
Answer
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Name
Parween
- Afghanistan
Profession
Answer
It is very difficult for some people to handle pressure when comes to wearing Hijab, especially in public schools. One thing that has helped the teenagers that I have talked to is that when somebody makes fun of you, think about Allah (SWT) and say to yourself - who is more important, the girl across the hall that is making fun of you or Allah (SWT). When you think about Allah (SWT), it helps you overcome any kind of pressure. To conclude, let's think positive and do what the Creator wants us to do. Let's strive to go to paradise and have control over the Satan.
Name
Tannaz
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Profession
Answer
I think that the question regarding what hijab is, is a very important question. In the Qur'an we see the beauty of hijab come together with two things. First and foremost we have hijab of the inner self, of the batin. This deals with modesty or hayya' and a general attitude of conservativeness. The second aspect of hijab is the hijab of the outer self, or dhahir. This is where the concept of the scarves that we wear on our heads comes into play, along with dressing modestly.
Now an important issue to remember is that although society has inculcated in us that hijab is only for women, we turn to the tradition of the Prophet (saaws) and see that he had hijab in the way that he spoke and interacted with people and in the way the he wore his clothing.
Name
Khalil
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Profession
Answer
Another EXTREMELY important thing is friendship. One should try to create lasting and solid friendships with GOOD Muslims sisters, if a sister, and GOOD Muslim brothers, if a brother. This will help to create a support network which one will feel comfortable and strong in. We should ALWAYS call to mind the struggles of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and realize that He and his Companion sacrificed EVERYTHING for this deen and we have to carry on their tradition...
Name
Sohaib
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Profession
Question
Assalamu Alaikum,
What other issues do Muslim youth face in high school? How about identity, being proud of your faith, being outright about it...
Answer
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Name
Sohaib
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Profession
Answer
I think Br. Khalil brought up a very good point: friendships. In fact, this can probably be considered the biggest problem that Muslim youth face in school. The Prophet (pbuh) warned us about our friends, how to choose them, etc... He said: "Each person is on the religion of his friend, so let each one of you choose whom he befriends."
Name
Mehrnaz
- United States
Profession
Answer
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Name
susie
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Profession
counselor
Answer
Where do you people get your education? These are really stupid answers...you know sometimes fundamentalism builds gaps, not bridges and you are way off base.
Name
Tannaz
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Profession
Answer
Sister Sorayia,
you have touched upon the most pressing part of wearing hijab in todays society. Before I go on, I'd like to say to all of the sisters in France, Turkey, Uyghur and every other place that oppresses sister due ONLY to the fact that they wear hijab MASHA'ALLAH! You are a role model for us all.
Now in dealing with hijab in a non-Muslim society we need several things.
#1 we need to ask Allah (swt) for help each and every day. It is a constant struggle that only He can aid us with.
#2 we need the support of our family and community. Getting involved in our community centers is vital to the growth of Islam in the Occident. Being around brothers and sisters who strive on the path helps in so many ways. There is a hadith (which I wont' quote exactly) but that tells us that if we sit with someone for 40 days, then we will become like them. This leads me to my third point which is that we need to have GOOD muslim friends.
This doesn't mean that we exclude ourselves from society, but that we are continuously aware of who we are interacting with, and to what levels we are taking the interactions. Wallahu 3lam.
Name
Khalil
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Profession
Answer
If a student minds his OWN business, does his school work, has fun in a HALAL way with MUSLIM friends, school would NOT be that difficult. Our problem is that we LIKE the ways of the non-Muslims and we want to be "loose" like them. We do not want to be distinct. We have to reassert and re-establish our relationship with Allah everyday and at every moment. Unless we become people of repentance and return to our Creator we will NEVER succeed. May Allah give us sucess...
Name
Parween
- Afghanistan
Profession
Answer
You gain respect by having a good attitute towards everybody at work. Your actions are very important. How you carry yourself. You have to be a role model in this society, because people see you by your actions. If you do something that is not appropriate, people automatically say, look at that Muslim woman. You must feel proud to be muslim and proud to wear Hijab, if not, you should spend more time at the Masjid and with practicing sisters.
Name
Khalil
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Profession
Answer
Susie, that was quite rude of you to speak that way. I wish you would of addressed your concern in an adult fashion, being it is that you are a "counselor." If you would like to have a level-headed discussion please continue if not, then I would suggest not commenting further. No offensive taken please...
Name
Sohaib
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Profession
Answer
Well, I don't remember that the ettiquete of disagreement in Islam allows us to attack people in any way. We can disagree, but within the realms of acceptable manners.
Name
Tannaz
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Profession
Question
Brother Khalil made an important point just now. As a Muslim in public schools we have to accept the fact that we are different from others. Not that we are weird but that we are unique and distinct. It is when we want to "fit in" too much that we get into trouble. I'm not saying that one should sit in a corner and be antisocial, all I am saying is that we need to act and dress in a way, brothers AND sisters, to distinguish ourselves from everyone.
This is probably very difficult, because in high school WANTING to distinguish yourself is the last thing that you want to do. That is why we need to turn to Allah (swt) and ask Him for help constantly... it is an uphill battle, but one that is a worthy one.
Answer
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Name
Khalil
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Profession
Answer
Back to the topics and discussion...
Name
Parween
- Afghanistan
Profession
Answer
There are many issues that Muslim Youth face in High Schools, but I must mention the important one that affected me when I was in High School. I had non-Muslim friends and I wanted to do everything that they did. From my experience, I suggest that you should try to stay away from your non-Muslims friends as much as possible and spend your spare time with your good practicing friends. This should take at least some of the pressure off. Of course, being proud of your faith and who you are is very important.
Name
Sohaib
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Profession
Answer
Handling "peer pressure" involves several things:
1. Having pride in being Muslim.
2. Surrounding yourself with good Muslims.
3. Expressing your faith readily and regularly.
4. Exercising your own positive "peer pressure" on others to entice them to do good things.
Name
Joshua
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Profession
Answer
I understand the topic is peer pressure and how to cope with it. If you find out how to do that, Hijab will not be a problem. I truly believe the way to deal with it is to work on your self-confidence. If you do whatever you do with ocnfidence then you look entirely different. You become a leader with out even trying. Don't try to combat the anti-Islamic comments with quoting Hadith to people about how ignorant they are and the fact that they are among the disbelievers. Instead, work on your ability to know that the more they hate you and make fun of you, the more Allah loves you. It's not easy I know. That's why I said you have to work on it. But when you get to that level, you can do anything you want. If you want my advice on how to work on it...juz let me know.
Name
Khalil
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Profession
Question
It is time for Maghrib Prayer. Be back in 10 minutes or so... Insha Allah
Answer
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Name
Babak
- United States
Profession
PhD Student (Engineering)
Answer
As-salamu `alaykum,
I remember reading a dhikr somewhere, to be recited (silently) by a
muslim, whenever he/she encounters a non-Muslim. It goes like this:
al-Hamdu lillaahi l-ladhee faDDalanee `alayka bil-islaam-i
deenaa, wa bil-qur'aan-i kitaabaa, wa bi-muhammadin nabiyyaa,
wa bil-mu'mineena ikhwaanaa, wa bil-ka`bati qiblah.
meaning,
praise belongs to allah, the one who elevated me above you by virtue
of [blessing me with] islam as my religion, the qur'an as my book,
muhammad as my prophet, the believers as my brethren in faith, and the
ka`bah as the focal point of my prayers (qiblah).
What this dhikr implies is that muslims are elevated above others, not
by virtue of race (for we come from different races), not by ethnicity
(we come from different ethnic backgrounds), not by social/economic
class (for we come from all strata of society), etc., but by virtue of
the fact that we follow islam as our religion/path, the qur'an as the
book/guide to that path, prophet muhammad (s) as the teacher of that
book/road-map, and we are to be assisted in that endeavor by our
brethren in faith, with whom we ought to be united, a sign of which
is that we all pray to the same focal point, the qiblah.
to you brothers and sisters who are young and in school, i say that
engendering confidence in yourselves comes---first and
foremost---through a personal exertion on your part. knowledge is at
the core of that confidence, and acquiring it is what requires effort.
once you have the knowledge, and along with it the piety and lofty
character that islam prescribes, you become a beacon of light in your
community of friends and peers; they will respect you. there is no
easy answer to this issue. it comes purely from personal exertion.
on the more practical side, i have to echo the other suggestions that
have been made so far, namely, that you should try, to the extent
possible, to seek your close circle of friends from amongst muslims.
remember that there is a reason why congregating with muslims is so
emphasized in islam. it is precisely for the brother/sister-hood, and
hence confidence and security (at all levels: social, political,
physical) that is cultivated as a result, that we are so encouraged by
Allah to do things in jamaa`ah (congregation with other muslims).
this has gotten long, so i close here.
may allah give you all tawfiq.
Name
Joshua
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Profession
Question
I like Sohaib's 4 keys. I think if we can take those and implement them into our own situations, it would be good. For example: Being proud to be Muslim. How can you do that and still be cool? How can we practice Islam in school and not be looked at as weirdo's and nerds. I think that is what youth want to know. They need to know that it's possible that being a proud Muslim (properly)can actually get you much respect with people of all ages.
Answer
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Name
Khalil
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Profession
Question
There is a proverb in Arabic that says: "Faqid Ash-Shay laa yu'tihi" meaning, that a person doesn't have something cannot give it. The youth in America (and in the world also) need to find their ISLAM frist so they can give it. Islam is not and never was just an "image." Islam is about the inward mainly and primarily. The inward is what matters in the end. Allah is the only one who truly knows our true states of being. May Allah purify us all! This is not to say that the outward is not important, no, I hope I am not misunderstood. But the "real deal" is who you are NOW. The given moment is your reality. "Verily deeds are according to their intentions..." "Verily deeds are judged by their final end." Like it was said back in the "bad old" days: It's all how you go out...
Answer
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Name
Sohaib
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Profession
Question
Of course Br. Joshua brings up a point that many youth probably have in the back of their heads. "How can I tell people that I am a Muslim and be cool? I mean, they'll think that I'm weird or something..." Well, that's where behaving like a Muslim plays an important role.
I went to public school, and I know first hand the pressures that Muslim youth face in school. Believe me, little things that we don't pay much attention to do affect the way other students view us. Being honest, not cheating on exams, avoiding profanity, being straightforward in our behavior, standing up for the truth (even if it may be against our selves), defending the innocent....When non-Muslims see that we have values and that we stick to them at all times, they view us with respect. And as the saying goes, "Respect is earned, not given."
Answer
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Name
tannaz
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Profession
Question
okay fellas, i'm outta here... i got work to do!!!!
see you next week, insha'Allah....
Answer
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Name
Nia
- United States
Profession
Teacher
Question
Since parents play an integral role in assisting with keeping the deen of Islam strong in our youth, what can we do on a practical daily level to help them.
Answer
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Name
Sohaib
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Profession
Question
Well, first we have to realize that our youth are being bombarded on a daily basis by a lot of un-Islamic influences. And the first thing that a parent needs to understand is that they have an important role to play in "de-briefing" their youth. In other words, every day, the parent needs to be talking to his/her son/daughter about what was taught in school, what happened with friends, what people are saying, etc..., in order to keep up with what our youth are being subjected to. The second thing is to provide an alternative to the activities that our youth would like to participate in and find themselves compelled to participate in by the pressures around them. For example, your son wants to go and hang out with his non-Muslim friends because they will be playing basketball or going to camp or something. Encourage your local mosque and youth community to organize their own sports teams, have their camps, have regular trips and group activities, where you are sure that your son/daughter will be surrounded by Muslims and will not have any negative influences.
Answer
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Name
Khalil
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Profession
Question
NO T.V.!!!
Start small and work your way up to eliminateing "bad" programming from your childs life. This is the way to go if they are young. If they are in their teens the matter is a little more difficult. May Allah help us. Inculcate in your children the love of books and reading, and then acting according to that knowledge.
