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Name
Umm Maryam
- Australia
Profession
Question
Can't new Muslims just go to the mosque and celebrate with other Muslims? I think `Eid is one of the times that mosques are chock-full of people, so the odds are, you'll find people to celebrate with. my two cents.
Answer
Selma Cook says:
When someone becomes a muslim there is a shift away from an old life style into a new one. The person often feels unsure and needs a lot of encouragement. If you don't know anyone in the mosque it is quite daunting to just go there yourself and not 'fit' into any group. Quite often people are speaking in various languages and it's hard to make yourself understood. It takes time to get to know people and their ways. Ideally the new Muslims will find a way to come together and support each other while reaching out to the other Muslims in the community.
AElfwine Mischler says:
As-Salamu `alaykum. Well, of course new Muslims can go to the mosque and celebrate with other Muslims—if there is a mosque within a reasonable distance. But first of all, the `Eid Prayers are often held elsewhere, such as in a park, so the new Muslim must have some contact with the Muslim community to know just where the prayers will be held.
And what if the new Muslim has never been to a mosque before or doesn’t know how to pray yet? Maybe he/she can follow the motions but doesn’t know all the words yet. Or what if he/she is just shy?
I can remember my first `eid was `Eid Al-Fitr at the end of Ramadan. At the time I was living with other Muslims and it was a very happy day for me. But two months later when `Eid Al-Adha came, I was in a new city and didn’t have any friends yet. Yes, I attended the `Eid Prayers (held outdoors in the parking lot of the mosque) but I felt terribly lonely surrounded by all those strangers who were happily greeting their friends and relatives but ignoring me, the new-comer.
So, I would suggest that new Muslims do make the effort to join the Prayers somewhere, and that they try to overcome their shyness and introduce themselves. What’s wrong with saying, “As-Salamu `alaykum. I’m so-and-so and I’m new here”? And, of course, we more experienced Muslims should try to keep an eye out for new faces in the crowd, especially faces of those who look “lost.” Make a special effort to greet them with a warm smile and invite them to join you in the celebrations.
Name
khadija
- United Kingdom
Profession
housewife
Question
you are obviously western people so i was wondering how you coped when you saw the reality of animals being slaughtered? in the west we are a bit spoilt inasmuch as we don't see the nasty little details of that. thanks for your time
Answer
Selma Cook says:
You are right! In western countries we tend to see steak and chops as 'food' instead of the meat of animals. Most times it is pre-packaged and really looks just like food with no relation to the reality of the animal involved in the process. I think that's where `Eid al Adha helps us all get back to reality. We get to see the animal as a living being and appreciate it as such. It deserves to be slaughtered with mercy as the Prophet (pbuh) told us and we should eat with gratitude to Allah and share the meat with the poor and needy.
But I think we should remember that this mentality (I mean prepackaged meat etc.) is a phenomenon of modern times. In times gone by people were more in touch with reality and part of having chicken for dinner was slaughtering the chicken! This tended to make the people of the past have more respect for life. If a person is removed from the reality of the life that is being taken (in his having chochops for dinner) he will gradually be removed from respect for life itself – which will edge on to encompass the life of the animal being slaughtered, the life of other animals and of people and even of himself and nature at large. If we eat what we kill, we will eat less.
AElfwine Mischler says:
As-Salamu `alaykum. Actually, when I lived in the States I never saw an animal slaughtered. My husband did all the work. And in most Western countries now Muslims have to slaughter in established slaughter-houses or hire a butcher to do the actual slaughtering because of health regulations. So there isn’t too much of a problem with “nasty little details.”
Here in Egypt I did watch my husband slaughter a cow once. I thought I would be grossed out but I wasn’t—until they got to the part of cutting it open and cleaning it out. Even then it wasn’t too bad for me, much to my surprise—I used to faint in biology class at the mere talk of blood!
It was actually a rather moving experience for me. I had never seen anyone or anything die before, only seen them after it was over. It made me think of the gift of life that Allah has given us and how He has allowed us to take the lives of animals to sustain ourselves.
Name
jameel
- South Africa
Profession
studnet
Question
Assalam alaikum, thanks for talking to us today. i would like to know how you celebrated eid when you were first a Muslim? What did you expect and what really happened?
Answer
Selma Cook says:
My first `eid was actually quite a lonely time. I didn't really know any Muslims and certainly hadn't formed a firm 'friendship' with a Muslim which is very important in order to get grounded. I remember wandering around the mosque feeling quite isolated and shy to reach out to others (largely because they usually spoke different languages and were busy with their own group).
But in my wanderings I got to see a lot about how the people behaved and integrated. I marveled at the kindness between the people and the absence of racism and bigotry. People were really happy, children were playing and everyone was eating.
I was introduced to Lebanese date biscuits which was an unforgettable experience! People would offer strangers (including me) whatever stash of sweets or whatever they had with them. Generally it was a time of friendliness and sharing. Even though I wasn't directly a part of it (owing that I didn't know anyone personally) I still felt part of it all.
After the prayer and gathering at the mosque in the morning I didn't really know what to do. So I took myself and my son and we had a picnic in the park. I made sure he had a nice time and knew that it was `eid. By the time the next `eid came around I knew more people and had made more friends and it was more of a time of parties for the kids. But still in all, that first `eid was unforgettable!
AElfwine Mischler says:
As-Salamu `alaykum. Well, as I said in a previous answer, my first `eid was happier than my second because at my first `eid I was surrounded by friends.
My first `Eid Al-Adha was almost an “un-`eid” for me. I was single and didn’t have a lot of extra money, so I didn’t pay someone to slaughter an animal for me. Basically I attended the prayers and then went home. It wasn’t a very happy time as I recall.
`Eid Al-Fitr after Ramadan was for many years a happier `eid for me because I felt like I was really celebrating something—the end of 30 days of fasting. I felt like I had accomplished something. It was only after I made Hajj that I came to really understand the significance of `Eid Al-Adha. Even now, I really have to stop and THINK to appreciate `Eid Al-Adha.
Name
tony
- Australia
Profession
teacher
Question
Hello. this is interesting to see some converts to Islam discussing the changes in their lives. what are the main differences you found in the celebration of Christmas and that of Eid?
Answer
Selma Cook says:
Celebrating Christmas was, for me, a matter of eating a lot, being expected to give and receive presents and being subjected to all the advertisements urging people to spend a lot of money in order to really celebrate. It had become quite materialistic, even though the hidden message was that of love and peace. In fact I found that people generally tried to be more peaceful and kind at Christmas time despite the materialism.
When I came to understand `Eid and Islam in general more, I saw that the celebration began with congregational prayer! And what a prayer! I was thrilled to see many of so many nationalities and backgrounds praying side by side and afterwards greeting each other and sharing with each other whatever they had.
The poor and needy took their share of the slaughtered meat with a feeling of dignity. It was, afterall, their God-given right.
Even though different cultures might celebrate `Eid in different ways, meaning they might cook the meat differently etc, the underlying thing about it all, was everyone's realization that `Eid was a celebration of Allah's mercy to mankind exemplified in Prophet Abraham (peace be upon him) being spared the obligation of sacrificing his son, Ishmael.
The Muslim sees the Mercy of Allah in all things and that is why `Eid acts like a springboard urging Muslims to be kind and merciful throughout the whole year, not just at `Eid.
As time passed and I made more friends I found more and more ways to share and give in a community – this was something I hadn't really found before – in this way. Community involvement is a basic part of Islam that should be practiced all year round, so it is no different at `Eid.
AElfwine Mischler says:
Even though Christmas was sometimes a very spiritually moving holiday for me (depending on my degree of faith at the time, or the service that I attended), it was nothing like `eid is for me.
At Christmas there was always the rush of shopping (I gave gifts to a large family of brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews) that “had” to be done, and baking tons of cookies (which I still do for `Eid Al-Fitr, I admit). With the Muslim holidays I don’t feel that pressure that I “must” do certain things. When we lived in the States I did buy presents for my kids, but not for others’ kids. Here in Egypt the custom is to give money to kids, so it’s much easier.
Of course, for me it’s very different because my family isn’t celebrating with me. For some years after I converted I’d get really homesick at Christmas time—I didn’t miss the holiday itself but missed my family.
I actually enjoyed `eids more in the States than here. We had the prayers outdoors in parks with snacks afterwards. And the mosques usually held a big picnic the same day or the following weekend. Here, we’re overcrowded in the mosques or streets to pray and then we just spend the day at home with family, or perhaps go to an uncle’s house. It’s not the same as being with your friends outdoors.
Name
Scarlet
-
Profession
Question
Still approaching Islam... step by step... much of its peacful messages take my heart. But, if I become a Muslim, why would I have to shed blood in order to celebrate a feast? Recently u were having a live-dialogue about Prophet Muhammad as a merciful figure. I understand that both of him and Prophet (Abraham) Ibrahim are role models to Muslims. I have always believed in Prophet Ibrahim. But in the celebration of feast Adha, they seem to be different. One decided not to slaughter his child, while the other used to slaughter animals to celebrate! How can this be an example of mercy? Do I have to admit to such act if I chose to be Muslim or can I neglect this part? What do I tell my heart if I slaughter a poor creature and then celebrate? What's my excuse? Please don't be offended.
Answer
Selma Cook says:
May Allah the Almighty bless you in your efforts to understand Islam and practice it fully. Everything that Allah the Almighty created has a purpose, even if we, perhaps, do not comprehend that purpose. Allah has subjected nature and animals to man's use. It is allowed to kill animals to eat them but never to kill them just for sport as occurs in many places around the world like bull fighting, fox hunting etc. When Muslims slaughter the animal at `Eid al-Adha the meat is shared with the poor and needy.
I didn't realize until I came to live in Egypt how much the poor people look forward to `Eid because that's (for many of them) the only time in the year that they eat meat!
When I realized that, I also realized more of the wisdom and mercy of Allah in ordering the Muslims to do this – the animal is killed with mercy and the people get to eat! For more on slaughtering see The Sacrifical Animal: Cruelty or Mercy?
I wonder why this Islamic practice is criticized when there is a lot of long-distance killing of animals going on everyday all over the world. Let me explain. Many take-away food industries grow unhappy animals in miserable surroundings, purely for 'food' (they don't get to live naturally), then these animals die a violent death (usually hammer gun or electricity), to feed people their meat which contains harmful hormones and other chemicals; bad for people's health, and then finally, their meat doesn't always get used (eaten) and so gets thrown away. Wasted! What an unhappy scenario!
When the Muslim slaughters an animal on `Eid, it is NOT allowed to waste any of it! And there are rules on how to kill mercifully and how to distribute the meat.
AElfwine Mischler says:
Salam, Scarlet.
Let me ask you, don’t you eat meat now as part of certain celebrations—turkey for Thanksgiving, for example, or maybe a big roast or ham at other holidays (assuming you’re not vegetarian)? I see the only real difference is that you buy your meat already butchered, and Muslims usually do the slaughtering themselves or have someone do it for them. So what is the problem with eating meat to celebrate?
I think it is a mercy from God that He has allowed us to slaughter animals and eat them. And it is certainly a mercy that He does not accept human sacrifice from us.
Of course, if you were Muslim and really didn’t want to slaughter, you could pay someone to do it for you or donate the money to a charity that would slaughter and distribute the meat to the poor. Isn’t that a mercy?
Why do Muslims insist on thinking of this `Eid as the `Eid of meat? What do you do if you are a vegetarian Muslim?
Answer
Selma Cook says:
Well, it is the `Eid of slaughtering an animal and giving the meat to the poor and needy – so I guess that's a good reason why some people might associate it with 'meat'. If a Muslim doesn't prefer to eat the meat themselves, they can give it to anyone they like. Such a person will also acknowledge that just because he doesn't like to eat the meat, Allah has allowed mankind to eat meat and this is a mercy from Him.
It's also important to remember that the point of this `Eid is not the meat. Rather, it is the spirit of sacrifice and the mercy and compassion between people.
AElfwine Mischler says:
As-Salamu `alaykum. Well, we “insist” because that is the way that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) celebrated this `eid, and we are to follow his example. Allah has made meat and seafood halal (lawful) for us, and it would be an act of shirk (associating others with Allah) to say that eating meat is haram (forbidden), for only Allah has the right to say what is halal and what is haram.
If some Muslims really do not want to eat meat—perhaps converts who were vegetarian before joining Islam—they should never say that eating meat is haram, but just that they don’t like it. If they don’t want to eat meat, they could donate the price of the sacrifice to a charity that would slaughter and give the meat to the poor.
Name
Moez
- Norway
Profession
IT manager
Question
Assalamo alaikum warahmatullah,
Please can you tell few words about your experience as converts after moving to an arabic country?
My wife is a convert an we are hoping to be able to bring our children to a muslim country where we can find some kind of islamic life for family?
Best regards and salam
Moez
Answer
Editor's Note:
Dear Brother Moez,
As-salamu `alaykum.
Thank you for participating. However, as your question is off-topic, we will be unable to answer it now. However, we are planning to have another live dialogue on this topic after the `Eid holiday in which you can submit this question. We hope to see you there.
Have a joyous `Eid!
Name
janie
- United States
Profession
student
Question
can't muslims give some of this meat to the asia disaster victims? i think they could use some meat right now
Answer
Selma Cook says:
Thanks for your concern about the Asia disaster victims. They are certainly in need of our help and support in every aspect of life and it is the duty of Muslims to respond on such occasions and give and help generously. Actually, there are many Islamic organizations around the world who have set up Udhiyah campaigns where Muslims can donate their animal to be slaughtered and the meat is canned and sent to many places around the world. For more on this, see Helping Disaster Victims.
AElfwine Mischler says:
Of course they can. In actuality, they would probably donate the money to a charity that would slaughter the animals there in the countries where the meat is needed. If they slaughtered in their own lands, there wouldn’t be a way to preserve and distribute the meat.
Actually, I believe that most of the meat that is slaughtered at the Hajj is frozen or canned and then distributed to the poor in other countries, though I don’t know if this year it will be sent to the tsunami victims or elsewhere.
My memories of my first Eid (it was actually a Eid al-Fitr) are actually quite lonely. As a new convert I knew very little about what to do and where to go and was too shy to invite myself somewhere. Unfortunately invitations weren't very forthcoming either.
Only years later I decided to create my own festive atmosphere by getting together with other converts who also did not have Muslim family. Together we would go around the whole day visiting different individuals and families. This was the first time I really felt some of the togetherness which should be such an important element of Eid.
It would be good if Muslim families, instead of focusing only on their own extended family, would make a greater effort to include people within their Muslim community who may not have a place to go for Eid. It would give converts a greater feeling of belonging and strengthen their hearts in the deen.
Answer
Selma Cook says:
I'm glad you found a group where you could fit in and feel that you belong. This is so important for new Muslims. Everyone has their own culture; their own way of celebrating. Some people just like to sit around and talk, others like to visit, go to the park etc. So as long as people come together with others who think and do things like them, it will be a happy time Inshaa Allah. Allah has created all mankind into different groups and tribes and by getting to know each other we learn more about ourselves and we also get to appreciate the differences between us and the vastness of life. `Eid gives us a chance to know each other better and to share.
AElfwine Mischler says:
Amen, sister! I think that is a good idea.
Name
ahmed
- South Africa
Profession
engineer
Question
have you found that your perception of Eid has changed over the years, since you became Muslims? Thanks
Answer
Selma Cook says:
My perception of `Eid has certainly deepened Alhumdulillah. I find it of a more spiritual quality now and I appreciate the fact that the poor and needy get a share of the wealth of others in the community.
That demonstration of caring and sharing is lacking in the world but at times of `Eid, I see people stopping on the street to give the poor people money, food and kind words. This touches my heart and I know this is part of the mercy of Allah that He established such practices to teach mankind how to remember the sacredness of life, and the needs of mankind and that we should not approach life with selfishness and opportunism.
In fact both the `Eids teach us these lessons. We are urged to look within ourselves and remember Allah, the reality of this transient life, the fact that all mankind are interconnected and interdependent and the fact that we have to give if we ever want to get anything. So `Eid is not just about visiting, eating and drinking and taking the kids out to have fun (although it is those things too), it is also about growing closer to Allah and comprehending our responsibility in life.
AElfwine Mischler says:
As-Salamu `alaykum. Yes, I think that I understand `Eid Al-Adha more after having experienced Hajj. I try to reflect on the many sacrifices Ibrahim (peace and blessings be upon him) faced in his life. Not only the near sacrifice of his son, but his having to leave his father and people because they threw him out for his Islam; his having to leave his wife Hajar and infant son in the desert. These are all things we should think of at this time and try to emulate the prophets in our life.
Name
du'a
- Egypt
Profession
editor
Question
How do you teach your young children to appreciate Eid when they are surrounded by media and advertisements highlighting Christmas etc and they used to celebrate Christmas but now they celebrate Eid? How did you cope with that
Answer
Selma Cook says:
Yes I do remember that challenge. My son was seven years old when I became a Muslim. But for him Christmas was visiting the family and getting presents. He still got to visit the family and all that but now (with Islam) he also got presents and got to go to the mosque, which is very exciting for kids, and to have parties (not our first `EId but in later years). It was truly a happy happy time for him and filled with pleasant memories. He would take part in visiting people and distributing meat to them, so he felt involved and kids naturally like giving and they feel satisfied.
As time went on and he learned more about what `Eid was all about he wished that my non-Muslim family would join us. There is nothing like standing in prayer in a mosque and praying in unison on `Eid. I would hate to ever miss it. It is a feeling of human solidarity in its depths, of unity of purpose, of communal acknowledgement of the Greatness of the Creator and submission to Him. It just isn't `Eid without the `Eid prayer and the kids take part in that. There is no comparison of that feeling of prayer and community along with the following celebrations, with anything else.
AElfwine Mischler says:
For my own kids it wasn’t much of a problem, but that is probably because they attended a Muslim school and all their friends were Muslim. I’m sure it would be much harder for those who are surrounded by non-Muslims and don’t live near other Muslims. Another factor, I think, is that when we lived in the States we didn’t watch much TV, and that was only the news and documentaries, esp. especially shows about animals.
My son first noticed Santa Claus at the age of 4, I think. So I just told him that that was the way Christians celebrated their holiday, with this made-up person, but actually the parents put presents out for their children while they were sleeping. I always gave my kids presents for `eid, so I don’t think they felt that they were missing out on anything.
But if you don’t have a lot of Muslims around you, do make a big fuss about `eid. That doesn’t have to mean overeating and buying tons of toys. But do make it a special day, get the kids new clothes if you can, take the day off from work and school, do something together as a family. Maybe even invite some of their non-Muslim friends to have a sort of party with you. And of course, you should be controlling the media they see so that they are not surrounded by it all the time.
Name
Javed
-
Profession
Question
Ok, u've talked about how new Muslims can deal with eid, but what about how non-Muslim families reacted to the way eid is celebrated? I'm a bit worried that I am coming up for a lot of slack from my family about this `eid.
Answer
Selma Cook says:
Whenever a Muslim obeys Allah he/she must expect to face challenges from the people around him/her. Sometimes people just don't understand Islam or the reasons why we do things. And what people can't understand, they usually fear, and where there is fear, there is usually anger. So expect a reaction but be ready for it. First of all, when it comes to obeying Allah you have to stand your ground. You have the right to be a Muslim and obey Allah. Other people can have their opinions but in the end, it is up to you. So if you choose to have `Eid you can try to accommodate your family, invite them, be nice to them and make them wanted and cared about, but that does not go to the extent that you will stop celebrating `Eid just because they don't like it.
Try to explain the message of Islam, the background of `Eid al-Adha and express your sincerity to seek the pleasure of Allah the Almighty. And most of all, be sure that when we are truly sincere and ask Allah's help, He promises His help will come. Be patient and have a great `Eid!
AElfwine Mischler says:
As-Salamu `alaykum. A good point and something that I myself never had to deal with. If you’re no longer living at home, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. But you might want to invite your family to join you in the celebration.
So I’m assuming that you are still living at home and that that is why you’re expecting problems. First of all, you don’t have to give your family a lot of ammunition for slack by telling them a great deal about it. I think probably most Western non-Muslims would have the hardest time with the actual slaughter. Since you probably can’t legally do it at home but will pay someone to do it for you, they don’t have to see anything “nasty” or even know about it if you don’t tell them. If they do bother you about the slaughtering, you can remind them that they also eat special foods—and probably a lot of meat—on special occasions.
If you don’t have Muslim friends to spend the day with, why not try to have a nice dinner at home and you do the cooking? Or invite your parents out to dinner if you can afford it? Just don’t order alcohol. Or just do anything special—with or without your family—to make the day special for you. Take the day off from work and go somewhere, preferably somewhere where you can enjoy nature and contemplate Allah’s goodness.
I used to get a fair amount of teasing and questions about Islam from my family. I didn’t mind so much when they teased about ME but I told them flat out once that they could make fun of ME all they wanted, but they were not to make fun of my religion. That stopped them. It also stopped the questions, so that I sometimes wonder if it was the right thing to do. But I did not want my religion ridiculed, and maybe you need to stand up for that.
