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Name
Seeker
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Profession
Question
I entered Ramadan with enthusiastic spirit and great hopes to change myself and to amend my ways, but now that two thirds of Ramadan has gone, I feel that I did not well in this month, and I am really disappointed, can the remaining days offer me a chance to make up for what I lost in the past days. Please advise.
Answer
Guidance and blessings can descend at any moment, especially in the final days of Ramadan. If you are disappointed you are in tawba (repentance) and this is a good sign.
Name
Akmal
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Profession
Question
What is the role of youth in the prospective change that we seek in Ramadan?
Answer
The role of youth is to do their best in performing the fast in the proper manner, and generally refrain from anything that may diminish the rewards and blessings of the fast, and to encourage each other to follow the religion and help other people if they can, serve others in iftar gatherings and tarawih, attend lectures and dhikr gatherings, pray together, teach each other about the religion and make earnest du'a for guidance and the blessings of Ramadan.
Name
muslimah
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Profession
Question
salaam,
This Ramadan has been a very very depressing Ramadan for me because I took it very seriously and tried to stop and change certain behaviors. ever day I make an intention to change certain habits - but every day I feel I have failed. I was not able to stop my angry outbursts or yelling and I was not able to stop alot of things. The intention is there - I try. When I am about to get angry I step back adn try to resist but still - my daughter keeps pushing me until I end up yelling. Then I spend the night and day depressed that I failed. Lately I feel like not trying at all. What to do?
Answer
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised a person who gets angry that when anger seizes him, if he is standing he should sit down, if he is sitting he should lie down. We are also recommended to turn away and overlook anything the foolish might do.
Perhaps your daughter wants to talk to you and attract your attention. Have (patience) with her, and explain things to her, and you will be gratefully rewarded. I believe women's looking after their children is one of the greatest acts of worshipping Allah. It is also one of the best trainings in human relations.
Name
Hasan
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Profession
Question
The best memories of Ramadan are those implanted in kids and children’s memory. Do you not agree with me that Ramadan offers us a golden chance to gain our children more useful things and skills
Answer
Absolutely. Recently I was in a Muslim community in the West and I advised families to get together more in the evening and at iftar with their children so that they build up traditions within the children's minds. This is necessary particularly for all Muslims living outside the Islamic world.
Learning the Qur'an and learning about Islam is good, but even playing together in the atmosphere of Ramadan is useful.
Name
Muslim
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Profession
Question
All what you said about change and making use of Ramadan is very nice, and many people actually change in Ramadan for the better, but once Ramadan is over, we witness a reverse change and they return to their old, bad habits. In your opinion, what are the causes of this problem, and how could it be overcome?
Answer
Perhaps this is one of the reasons the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) recommended fasting six days after Ramadan, during Shawwal, to bring you back to the frame of mind and train you gain through Ramadan. Similarly, voluntary fasting has the same effect throughout the year.
Trying to keep oneself busy with good things keeps one away from doing bad things.
Name
Salma
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Profession
Question
What is the role of women in the desired change?
Answer
Their role is crucial. Within a family the woman is the guarantor of her husband doing his job properly and her children growing up in an Islamic way. Especially in a non-Muslim society, it is women who guarantee the maintenance of the Islamic tradition. Before a woman is married, she gains as much knowledge as possible and cooperates with other young women in learning, spreading knowledge, and doing good deeds. I believe that in non-Muslim societies it is good Muslim women who are the real heroes of Islam and who are more likely to have greater rewards than anyone if they conduct themselves well.
Name
Mahy
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Profession
Question
How can spouses chnage themselves in Ramadan?
Answer
They can help each other to fast and do as much good as possible, and at night, seek what God has ordained for them. Let us remember that even after the remarkable verse (When my servant asks you [Prophet] about Me I am near, I respond to those who call Me, so let them respond to Me and believe in Me, so that they may be rightly guided) (Al-Baqarah 2:186) after this we immediately have (You believers are permitted to lie with your wives during the nights of the fast: they are [close] as garments to you, as you are to them... Now you can lie with them - seek what God has ordained for you - eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct from the black. Then fast until nightfall.) (Al-Baqarah 2:187)
Also, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said that a man should get up at night to pray, and wake his wife, even by sprinkling some drops of water on her face, and she should do the same to him.
Name
Hamid
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Profession
Question
How can Muslims communities living in the West utilize Ramadan as an opportunity to explain their religion and get connected with people there.
Answer
Muslim communities can invite interested non-Muslim friends to iftar parties in their centres and even in their homes and show them some good short films or appropriate talks which explain Islamic teachings and culture.
They should show them that fasting and other acts of worship in Islam make them better towards other people, more friendly and more helpful.
Name
Muslimah
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Profession
Question
Asalaamualaikum
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, read all and PLEASE PLEASEPLEASE ANSWER
This is a a follow-up question to a question I have asked many times before. You must think why I keep coming back to it but is something that bothers me. I like to perform Taraweeh in the mosque and I have been told from someone that I will get less reward for doing them in the mosque, because the Prophet (PBUH) said that tit was better for women to do it at home. She is adamant that if a woman even only know Surah Ikhlas and says her Taraweeh at home with Surah Ikhlas in every rakat she will get more reward then the lady who is in the mosques praying Taraweeh and hearing the whole Quran.!!!All the scholars I have asked always say that that is not true that women will also get more reward for reading salat and Taraweeh in the mosque, as you get the reward for praying in congregation as well as making an effort to go to the mosque, especially living in the US. I showed her these responsed from scholars, but she refuses to accept saying she wants to see hadith to prove my point. The reason why I am bring this up in the session is that I think she is more learned then me. And I want to perform some ibadaats in the last days in the mosques. I want to make sure I will not get less reward for doing so, You would say why do I care about what she says? The reason is that in our community she is thought to have a lot of knowledge. She preaches a lot to everyone and most people think that she is right and that what she must be saying is true. I have not read in any single place or heard any scholar say that you will get less reward for praying Taraweeh in themosque.
When I approached her with the responses I did so very politely and lovingly, and the responses even had Hadiths in them. But she refused to take them. She read the top one which contained a Hadith and she said “Oh I have not heard of this Hadith”. As if it was not valid because she had not heard of it. Others are very influenced by her. And I do not want people to be given the wrong information, because then they will lose out on the reward that is there for them, ESPECIALLY IN THESE LAST DAYS OF RAMADAN AND IN THE SEARCH FOR LAYLAT-ul-QADR.!!! These other ladies would go to the mosque if they knew that they will get even more reward. Also in the mosque during these days the Quran is being completed. I know that it is the most rewarding to be in the mosque on the day that the Quran is being completed. I have felt that power and that amazing feeling and I want my friends to feel it too. PLEASE give some advice as to how I maybe able to convince my other friends who are under this ladies influence.
I will greatly appreciate your help and response.
Jazzakulla Khair
Answer
There is a hadith that says, "Every step you take to the prayers (i.e. in the mosque) counts as a sadaqah for you." If going to the mosque does not involve or lead to any unacceptable behaviour in Islam, there is no problem, especially in non-Muslim societies where a woman might feel that going to the mosque encourages her and other Muslim women to practice their religion.
As regards someone who doesn't want to listen, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was told in Surat al-Qasas (28) verse 56, (You Prophet, cannot guide everyone you love to the Truth. It is God who guides whoever He will.)
Name
----
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Profession
Question
Assalamu Alaykum
Ramadan Mubarak,
Dear Scholar, i want to give a 5-min talk this Saturday InshaAllah about gender relations. Can you please give me in deatail what this means. Example, can you joke with the opposite gender, can you talk to them at all, if so, concerning what? Can you chat with the opposite gender or text message them or take their numbers. Thank you for your time. Jazzaka Allahu Khaier
Answer
You can chat, you can joke, provided you keep within the limits of decency and for a serious purpose, not for anything that leads to anything unlawful. (Do not speak too softly in case the sick at heart should lust ... Speak in an appropriate manner) is the instruction given in the Qur'an 33:32.
Name
Help
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Profession
Question
Asalam-u-alaikum
I want to do itikaf and I have been told that as a woman should do it at home as by doing itikaf at the mosque my childrenand husband will be neglected. But I have also been told that when you do it at home you have to choose 1 room and stay in that room and you can not leave. My question is that if I can not leave the room that if I was to step out of the room my itikaf would be broken and that is a big sin. Then why not might as well do it in the mosque, as by doing in the home I will not be able to take care of my kids, I will of no use to the home, children and my husband. Please clarify
Answer
I`tikaf will not be broken if you answer an urgent demand of a child or something within the house and then go back to resume the i`tikaf. Even while you are answering the demand of a child, you can think about Allah and do istaghfar and dhikr as part of i`tikaf. Remember that serving your family is one of the greatest meritorious deeds in Islam.
If you can go to the mosque some time to get the feeling of the communal i`tikaf and worship that is a bonus.
Name
Dawud
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Profession
Question
Every Ramadan, we hope that it will ushers in a new promising era for Muslims, both on the individual and collective levels. We try and try to get better, but this seems in vain. Is there really a hope? Many Muslims feel frustration and despair.
Answer
There is great hope. Allah says, (Never despair of My mercy) (Yusuf 12:87). Your question shows that you are a good Muslim who is trying to do even better. This feeling of frustration could be part of having improved and benefited from the fast.
Name
Tom
- United States
Profession
Cabinetmaker
Question
Ramadan Mubarak!
Dear Dr. Abdul'Haleem,
I'm a Convert to Islam, an American raised in a very liberal Christian tradition. Although for the most part Islam just feels right to me (friends tell me that's "fitra"), I'm having a rough time with Ramadan. I've fasted a few times in the past, but never for a whole month. This is really difficult. I've heard that it gets easier as time goes by, but I find that each day is harder than the day before. And I actually thought that Ramadan would be the one thing that would finally enable me to quit smoking once and for all. I've been gradually cutting back from a pack or more a day for several weeks now, and just prior to the beginning of Ramadan I was only lighting up about a half-dozen times a day, and usually putting them out after only a few puffs. But now that I've been voluntarily starving myslf for the past 3 weeks, I've been getting extremely irritable, and I've found that a cigarette has a calming effect, and now I find myself lighting up more often, and, about as often as not, smoking them right down to the filter. I've also noticed that my ability to concentrate on my work has been compromised, and I get really annoyed at the slightest provocation. I've even been verbally abusive a few times (downright nasty a couple of times), and I totally understand why people just don't want to be around me. Lately I don't even want to be around myself!
Yes, Ramadan has been difficult. And it's impacting my work performance and my interpersonal relationships in a negative way. I figure I can either fast or quit smoking, but I can't do both at the same time. And for the last 2 days I did neither! I simply blew off my intention and declared an end to my fast and my observance of Ramadan. Then an acqaintence told me not to give up, but just take some time off and rest and pray a bit more than usual, and then pick up where I left off and fast a few extra days after Ramadan officially ends.
Do you think that's good advice, or just telling me what I want to hear to make me feel better about having blown it?
Answer
Do your best to persist with both fasting and giving up smoking.
Irritability is a withdrawal symptom of smoking, and doesn't last forever.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "When I instruct you to do something, do as much of it as you can."
It is good news for you that Ramadan is going to end soon, but even after Ramadan you must try to reduce your smoking until insha'a Allah there comes a time when you are able to give it up completely. Take things easy and try not to feel too guilty.
Name
MF
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Profession
Question
Respected scholar, could you highlight the role of the Qur’an as a major factor for changing for the better and rectifying our affairs, especially that the Qur’an was sent down in this blessed month.
Answer
(This is a blessed Scripture which We sent down to you [Muhammad], for people to think about its messages, and for those with understanding to take heed.) (Saad 38:29)
(Recite as much of the Qur'an as is easy for you.)" (Al-Muzzammil 73:20)
(God has sent down the most beautiful of all teachings: a Scripture that is consistent and draws comparisons; that causes the skins of those in awe of their Lord to shiver. Then their skins and their hearts soften at the mention of God: such is God’s guidance. He guides with it whoever He will; no one can guide those God leaves to stray.) (Az-Zumar 39:23)
Follow the guidance of the Qur'an:
(Say, ‘God’s guidance is the true guidance. We are commanded to devote ourselves to the Lord of the Worlds, to establish regular prayers and be mindful of Him.’ It is to Him that you will all be gathered. It is He who created the heavens and the earth for a true purpose. On the Day when He says, ‘Be,’ it will be: His word is the truth. All control on the Day the Trumpet is blown belongs to Him. He knows the seen and the unseen: He is the All Wise, the All Aware.) (Al-Ma'idah 5:71-3)
Name
Muslim Attorney
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Profession
Question
Asalamualaykum
I am a mother of 2. When I first got married my parents encouragd me to go to law school. At that time I ahd very knowledge about my religion I new the basics. I was very into reading my prayers and fasting in Ramadan. But not much more. I took out student loans, which had fixed interest. After graduating I started to get more interested in religion and I started wearing hijab. Because of this I have had very hard time getting a job. My husband gets angry saying that I have hurt our whole family and that I have to pay off the loan. I agree that it is my responsibility but I do not want to ake my hijab off. I have prayed and asked Allah to forgive me for taking out the loan. To me I wish I never became a lawyer, it has brought only grief to me. My parents wanted me to be educated tha in case I ever came into a situation God forbid I could support myself comfortably. But I will not take my hijab off. But I have to pay the loan. What is available for me? What should I do? I do not know. I am so confused . My hisbad although very good in all other aspects, on this issue he has not understanding or sympathy, he thinks I have brouth this all on myself. He thinks, I am too radical in insisting on wearing my hijab to whatever job interview. Please help me understand and guide me. I pray and do alot of dua. But time is pasig and I need to take action because the loanis growing.
Answer
1. Don't feel guilty for taking up the loan. This is all in the past provided you make istaghfar for it.
2. In the UK student loans are to be repaid only when the graduate has a job that earns them a salary over a fixed minimum. Is this not the case in your country?
3. Why not try to work from home, by doing legal research or giving legal advice, starting with the Muslim community but also for non-Muslims? If people see that you are cheaper than others who have very expensive offices to run they will come to you.
4. Tell your husband, if he feels so strongly about it, he should do his best to help you pay off the loan. He should feel lucky not to have a wife who wants to live and work according to decent Islamic standards.
Name
---
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Profession
Question
Assalamu Alaykum,
can you please explain in deatail what the Quranic verses mean and what it is related to, can you also give proofs to your statement. Koran 8:12) "Remember Thy Lord inspired the angels (with the message): "I am with you: give firmness to the believers, I will instill terror into the hearts of the unbelievers, Smite ye above their necks and smite all their finger tips of them."
(Koran 2:216) "Warfare is ordained for you, though it is hateful unto you; but it may happen that you hate a thing which is good for you and it may happen that you love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, you knew not."
(Koran 69:30-37) "(It will be said) Take him and fetter him and expose him to hell fire. And then insert him in a chain whereof the length is seventy cubits. Lo! he used not to believe in God the tremendous, and urged not on the feeding of the wretched. Therefore hath he no lover hear this day nor any food save filth which none but sinners eat."
Thank you for your time. Jazzaka Allahu Khair
Answer
This question is too long and requires a longer answer than I have time for at the moment. Read the introduction to The Qur'an: a New Translation, published by OUP.
