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Name
Mahdi
-
Profession
Question
I am finding it difficult to believe that someone can force his wife or his daughter to wear hijab. I believe it is only Allah who obligates and orders. So if a wife or a daughter is still not convinced to wear hijab, can the husband or father force her to wear it?
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, and may He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
With regards to wearing hijab, it is important to realize that this is a command from Allah and when we receive a command from Allah, it is not necessary to be convinced of it. Islam is to submit to the will of Allah. It is important when we are unsure of something to ask about it but we do it primarily to please Allah.
In this case we should not need a person to tell us to do it, though they can remind us. Hijab, like Salah and many other obligatory things are legislated for us by Allah. At times we may recognize that it is something we must do but may need some time to work on it. But we should do this knowing that we are working towards the pleasure of Allah.
At times there are cultures which seek to use hijab to imprison women, to silence them and to keep them quiet, this was never the intended purpose of hijab. Instead, it was meant to be a tool to empower women to interact in society. The Sahabiyaat (female companions of the Prophet) were amongst the most active women in society.
To this end, I encourage you, my dear sister, to look at your own relationship with Allah and work on improving it, and know that Allah, all Compassionate and All-Merciful, would not ask you to do something if it was bad for you. He loves His servants and wants the best for them.
As for your other question about a husband or father imposing hijab, I would refer you to the fatwa section of islamonline.
All praise is due to Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, and may He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
With regards to our children, it is important that we do our best to help them love Allah and His messenger. A hadith attributed to Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) says that in the first seven years of a child life we should play with them; the second seven years we should teach them; and the third we should be their friend.
Once there is a good foundation, we should focus on what will build that child's relationship with Allah. Often parents try to use fear as a motivator such as "If you do not pray, you will go to Hell" or they punish their children through prayer such as when they make mistakes, they say "pray 20 raka’at". These things will turn off children.
We need to motivate them in the way the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to motivate children.
1. Encourage them to come to prayer, be firm, but show them love and tell them how much you appreciate when they pray with you.
2. Remind them about Allah and Jannah as well as the hellfire but do not harp on the latter. Motivate them with hope.
3. Look around your home, see what distractions exist, is there a lot of TV, computers or other things that can take their attention away? Make prayer a pre-requisite to all those things, but do not make it a punishment. Say to them that Allah blessed us with all of these things, so we must be thankful for it.
4. Review the seerah (Prophet’s life) with your son, tell him stories from it about those who came to Islam.
5. Spend time playing with him and doing things he enjoys. Create a bond between him and yourself.
6. Teach him the meanings of the prayers, and perhaps for a while, focus on fard only, so it does not become a burden to him.
Insha’Allah these will help.
Allah knows best.
Name
HELPPPPPPPPPPPP
-
Profession
Question
In your point of view, when should I train my daughter to wear hijab. I know that according to Islam, hijab is obligatory once a girl reaches maturity, but say for example, she reached maturity 15 years old, don't you think this might be too late to introduce hijab, especially that girls at this age are stubborn and don't easily yield to any advice? On the other hand, if I make her wear hijab before maturity, I’m afraid she might feel restrained or depressed.
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, and may He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
It is important that you try to be balanced in your approach with this. I do not know her age, but while she is young, you should encourage her to wear it but not with force. Help to make it a normal part of her wardrobe, and remind her that she looks just like her mom and when she wears it Allah will love her more, because she is doing what Allah wants. Start off with when she goes to the mosque, when she is praying, short trips to the mall. When she gets tired, hot etc, you can let her take it off.
Sometimes since she is young, let her also go without it, but as she gets older, try to increase the frequency, such that it becomes a normal part of life for her. This way by the time she is 15 she will want to wear it on her own will.
Always explain to her why she wears the hijab, and ensure that she does not see it as a tool to keep her from being involved in activities or see it as a tool to oppress her. Acquaint her with stories of the female companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and other great Muslim women both living and dead so that she will have good role models to look to.
Allah knows best.
Name
rayhana
- Canada
Profession
Question
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
I have a question concerning my children and I am converted and practicing Islam. I am also wearing the hijab. My problem is my two girls who are older than the three and are still holding on to being Christian. I keep trying to explain to them Islam with no stop. During Ramadan they would join in fasting but it is not easy convincing them the true path. Now that I loose my work and cannot find one, the younger one is telling me to take off the hijab so that the people would not judge me in this way. My heart is sad because I believe a faithful servant to Allah should not fail in these situation, he/she should stand full in these hard times. I sometimes feel very lost. Then I will pray to Allah for courage. I really need some advice in dealing with this situation. Please tell me how can I get through to my children? Thank you, wassalamu `Alaykum wa rahmatuallah.
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, and may He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
My dear sister, may Allah reward you for your patience and your desire to fulfill your duty to Him. Rest assured, no soul receives a burden more than it can bear and Allah is Ever-Close and always hears the call of His servants who call on Him.
I would like to advise you to patience and know that Allah is with the patient, so do not be discouraged for Allah is All-Powerful. Yet, He tests us to show us our true potential, to see what we are capable of and for us to realize how sincere we really are when we say we Love Him and want to serve Him.
Regarding your job, do not remove your hijab for the sake of finding work. Be patient for this, like many other things in life is a test from Allah. As you focus on what Allah wants and you are patient, Allah will reward you not only in this life but in the next. Simply remember the test of Prophet Ayub (peace and blessings be upon him) who lost everything; he once had and was stricken with leprosy as well. He was a Prophet of Allah. Yet he was patient with this because he knew it was a test from Allah.
Allah tests His servants whom He loves to allow them to draw closer to Him. So look at this as your opportunity to become closer to Allah.
With regards to your daughters, I would advise you again to be patient. Sometimes when we know how good something is, our natural inclination is to want those whom we love to have it as well. The problem is, they may not be ready to accept it. In this case, your encouragement to your daughters may simply just put them off.
Keep on telling them, but use more actions than words. Let them see what Islam is in your actions and gradually they may come to Islam by Allah's mercy and guidance. Keep making du’a’ as well.
It is a good sign that they fast in Ramadan. So work with them in small ways. And maybe stop telling them for a little while. As time passes on, include your messages to them when you speak about your own experiences. So if you want them to know something, just mention it as it pertains to you, or how you dealt with something or the way you thought about something.
With regards to your job, let them see that while work is important, your relationship with your Creator is even more important. If you do not live to please the One who gives Sustenance then you would have lost and become distracted by the things of this world.
As for feeling sad, it is a natural consequence and human emotion. However, do not lose hope, remember when the disbelievers of Quraysh imposed economic sanctions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and they tried to break him and his message but Allah was always there. Just as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised Abu Bakr when they were in the cave hiding that he should not fear because they are two and Allah is the third. Allah is always with you and will answer your prayers.
Keep making du’a’ and tahajjud, as well as salatu-duha and give in charity either from your wealth or your time. Allah will bless you and make you successful in this life and the next.
And Allah knows best.
Name
Ahmed
-
Profession
Question
How can you balance between giving fun for your kids and teaching them about Islam? I find it difficult to have my kids set for a lecture or a religious lesson? Any tips?
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, and may He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
This balance is often difficult for parents, however it is important to strive towards it and may Allah bless you in your efforts. It is always good to institute in your children that "there is a time for this and a time for that". Depending on their age, one will outweigh the other.
While they are young, it is important to spend time playing with them (first seven years of their lives) but play can be something used to instruct. Through play, children can learn stories about the Prophets or Islamic ethics such as sharing etc.
As they get older (second 7 years) we should focus on teaching them. This however does not have to be done by force. Start by being easy with them, accepting that they will make mistakes, and positively trying to encourage them.
Regarding the lectures or lessons, sometimes it is the nature of those lessons that may put off the kids. Many times, if they go to climates where they are being forced to just learn or else be punished, they will resist or get angry. Other times, they may have the experiences of going to mosques where they are unfortunately yelled at for being children. All of these things contribute to negative feelings and emotions.
One way for example is to reinforce their own personal relationship with Allah. Acknowledge mistakes or deficiencies if there are such problems but tell them that their relationship with Allah will be better if they focus on the message.
Other times, try to be creative, e.g. teach them seerah by telling them stories before bedtime, teach them through the use of nasheeds. Other times reward their patience in sitting through a lecture. Ask them questions as a fun type of quiz or discussion.
Most importantly, try to help them develop good friendships with other kids who will encourage them as well.
All of these insha’Allah will help.
And Allah knows best.
Name
Rakhshan
-
Profession
Question
As-Salam `Alaykum, can you please tell me whose duty is it to give good Islamic upbringing to the kids, mother or the Father? I ask this as today usually it’s assumed that it is the mother's job alone because the husband is always too busy to earn the livelihood but you see that the mother also has a thousand things to do at home. So from an Islamic point of view whose duty is it, is it both the parents or just one of them, can you please give a hadith in support of your answer. Thank you and Jazaka Allahu khairan.
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, and may He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
May Allah bless and guide you for seeking to preserve the well being of the family.
Regarding your question, there is no doubt Islamically, that the role of bringing up children is a partnership between both mother and father. In fact, the best example of this was in the actions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), who would spend time playing with the children, teach them and from contributing within the household was also a good role model to them.
While roles do differ, if the mother is at home, then the majority of what the children learn tend to come from her. This is why the expression exists " the lap of the mother is the school of the ummah." However it is not meant to be an excuse for the lack of involvement of the father.
In fact once he gets home, it is not an excuse for him to sit at the TV or to busy himself with other things. While he may need some time to rest, he must realize that motherhood is not a job which allows much rest and that the mother is equally if not more tired.
He should spend some time playing with his children and teaching them as well as contributing to the running of the household.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to divide his time into three parts, one third for himself, one third for his family and one third for the community. And many times he would give his time to the community. As for the other time, he would devote it to the care of his family.
Hopefully this helps to answer your question.
And Allah knows best.
Name
Zia
- Pakistan
Profession
Engg.
Question
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
May Allah give reward to the whole team of islam-online for their efforts.
Related to Salah (prayer), is it true that Salah creates or helps to maintain a balance between Zahir and Batin (of a person)? And balance between Zahir and Batin gives or increases Baseerah. Can you give your point of view on it?
Regular offering of Prayers five times a day gives awareness to follow the orders or teachings of Allah (by creating a relation with Allah during the prayer). Now, what does it mean if somebody is seen offering the prayers (almost regularly) but at the same time he is not stopping talking bad, abusing, not lowering his gaze while looking at women (But also not indulging in major sins like Zina or drinking alcohol or eating haram). Is it right to tell him that he should look/analyze his prayers? Why his prayers are not good enough to stop him from wrong?
A short question. For the prayer maghrib Qasr (during journey), are they reduced to two or they are three?
Thank you & JazakAllahu khairan.
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, and may He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the Day of Judgment.
The prayer is the source of direct communication between us and Allah. When we focus on it and we fulfill all of its conditions, it creates a sense of balance within us as it grounds us in our relationship with Allah. It helps to clarify our position in this world, the fact that this life is transitory and that we have much more to look forward for eternity.
However, prayer on its own is not prescriptive. This means that we do not do it as medicine when we are in need of something nor is it a "quick fix" for all other ills. It is a means to keep us grounded and it is a barrier to many other ills and sicknesses of the heart.
If it was, then there would be no need for tazkiya or purification, repentance, or even sharia because we would be all perfectly balanced.
Allah recognizes that we are all humans with our own weaknesses, so we always need to focus on those weaknesses and try to correct them.
It is important that he/she does not try to correct all the faults all at once but choose one or two and work on it. Simultaneously, they should also continually ask Allah for forgiveness as was a habit of Allah's messenger and give charity as a means of purification.
Yet Allah does remind us in Surah Ma'oon that sometimes people make a mockery out of prayer and they pray and are seen praying but they ignore the small kindnesses. The prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in a hadith also talked about a person who used to pray regularly but still she spoke of others behind their backs. He said that she would be punished for that sin.
The sins of backbiting and not lowering the gaze should not be minimized as they are doors that can lead to much greater sins. And even though that person is praying, they need to remind themselves of the consequences of such actions. What happens over time is that it can lead to the hardening of the heart and then prayer may be reduced to a simple routine.
May Allah make us always turn to Him for guidance and forgiveness.
As for praying magrib whilst traveling, it stays at three rakaats.
And Allah knows best.
Name
Najmi
- Malaysia
Profession
student
Question
I am a student in Ireland, and I am always asked by the non-Muslims on why do Muslim women wear hijab. Could you give me a solid answer so that I can shut their mouth up?
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, most Gracious most merciful, May He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
May Allah bless and guide you and continue to make you a beacon of da’wah to those around you.
As frustrating as it may be sometimes, I think it is a good thing that people ask those questions. It often means that they seek to understand something more. Remember that we can never do daw’ah amongst any people if we do not love them and want the best for them. This was the nature of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him); he truly loved his people and wanted the best for them.
Perhaps instead of wanting them to stop, you want them to stop minimizing you to a hijab and to see beyond that.
Questions such as "Do you wear it at home, or in the shower" can become tedious at times, I know :)
First and foremost, the reason why Muslim women wear hijab is because it is a command of Allah. As Muslims, we seek first to Please Allah and then focus on any secondary motives. While this is the case, we also seek to understand the wisdom in the ruling though the former is not a requirement of following the latter.
Secondly, hijab is a tool that seeks to liberate women into being full and productive members of the society without being minimized to an object of sexual desire amongst men. In other words, hijab is about serving Allah and having others appreciate women for their intellect and not any other superficial reason.
Perhaps though you may need to and want to point out that there is much more to a Muslim woman than the veil and that they need to look past that and listen to the wisdom that exists from within them.
And Allah knows best.
Name
mohamad zaki
- Malaysia
Profession
student
Question
As-Salamu `Alaykum brother,
I have a younger sister who is quite lazy to read the Qur’an. She is eleven years old. I don’t have much time to teach her because I am still studying far from my hometown. I take times during holiday to teach her, unfortunately if have to force her. If not, it’s useless. What should I do to make sure that she will reads the Qur’an with her own will? My parents are good in the Qur’an, but my father, as far as I concern, does not encourage his children to read the Qur’an, only my mother who has little efforts to teach. I learnt to read the Qur’an from her and my ustadh (Qur’an teacher) during my secondary school, but I finished it with my own.
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, most Gracious most merciful, May He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
May Allah continue to bless you with your passion for His book and your desire to bring this to your sister.
Usually, a child is motivated by different means, it is difficult to answer this question without knowing more about your sister, is she regular with her prayer and how much does she do with your mom as well as how much she has learnt from the daily actions of your father?
I would encourage you to firstly, strengthen your relationship with her, spend time doing stuff with her that she likes and encourage her at the times of prayer to pray. If she is regular with prayer, then encourage her to make a commitment to you and Allah to simply read at least 3-5 ayahs a day. That is all and to reflect on what it means to her.
Thirdly, if she is praying and is good in character and reads some the Qur’an everyday then do not make it a burden on her to memorize it. Remember that many of the sahaba (companions of the Prophet) did not memorize the entire Qur'an. Instead they focused on reading, learning understanding and implementing. Maybe she is not yet motivated to do so.
Help her to understand why you did it and how it has helped you and insha’Allah with time and PATIENCE she will become more attached to it.
You may also want to encourage your parents to play the Qur’an at home on tape or cd everyday for some time so she becomes used to hearing it as well.
And Allah knows best
Name
Raad
-
Profession
Question
I have so many doubts in my salah and I try and keep trying to foucs. Any tips?
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, most Gracious most merciful, May He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
May Allah bless you and continue to strengthen you in your desire to perfect your Salah.
Focus on the positive when it comes to your salah. Try to make sure that you are in the habit of doing good deeds and staying away from bad deeds. When you make wudu’, make it well and spend a little time sitting and contemplating what you are going to do, Whom are you praying to and why, as well as your need for Him.
Similarly, contemplate each line of the adhan when you hear it as it can help you to focus.
When you stand before Allah, make your intention and focus on your prayer. You can do this, by learning the meaning of the prayers in Salah and reading the tafsir or explanations of the various prayers. Try to focus on those.
As soon as you notice your mind slipping, bring it back to the prayer.
Do not focus on the fact that you are sometimes distracted, rather focus on the fact that you were able to focus for some amount of time and tell yourself that you will try to do better the next time.
The rest, seek refuge with Allah in your prayer and remember that Shaitan will try to distract you. So seek refuge and focus on pleasing Allah.
May Allah bless and guide you and help you to perfect your prayer.
And Allah knows best.
Name
Munira
- Australia
Profession
Question
Actually my husband does not pray at all or fast in Ramadan. I tried my best to make him pray and fast but in vain. The problem is that I have 2 kids who like their dad so much and they copy everything he does. Every time I talk with them about the importance of Salah, they give me no ears. I'm so worried that they may be one day like their dad .Please tell me what should I do to make them pray, and at the same time do not make them look down upon their dad.
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, most Gracious most merciful, May He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
May Allah bless you, my dear sister, in your desire to encourage your family on this path!
It is difficult to tell you specifically what to do about your children without knowing their ages. However, there are some things you can do:
1. Teach them about Allah and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), his seerah and especially the sahaba, how they had family members who tried to take them away from Allah and what they did.
2. Talk to your husband and tell him about the impact that he is having on the children. Remind him that if he truly loves them, he will want them to have a good life in the hereafter as well.
3. Have someone talk to your husband whom he respects, should he persist in not praying and you fear the negative effects of his behaviour on your children, you should seek the advice of a qualified shaykh on what you should do.
4. Try to spend time with them and do things they love to cultivate your own relationship with them so that you may be able to encourage them as well.
5. be steadfast in your own prayer and keep making du’a’, do not underestimate the du’a’ of a mother and Allah's ability to hear and answer.
Other points, I referred to in some earlier answers.
May Allah make this easy for you and give you a good resolution.
And Allah knows best.
Name
M. S
-
Profession
Question
I am so sorry for not mentioning my name. I have a problem in raising kids. Almost all my children yell back when I yell at them, and they just get stubborn. As you know, beating is not allowed in this country. I like to be merciful sometimes but I can't help it at other times. My wife is peaceful and tries to solve problems with discussions but the kids take advantage of this.
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, most Gracious most merciful, May He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
May Allah bless and help you in your desire to build your family.
It is difficult to know exactly how to advise you without knowing the ages of your children and some more about their circumstances, but remember that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not ever hit anyone. He raised a generation of leaders who were all young without ever hitting them. Hitting a child does more to make us deal with our own anger than it does in teaching the child anything. And while occasionally, spanking can have some effect sometimes all it does is reinforce the idea in the child that the bigger a person is, it is ok for them to hurt or hit someone smaller or weaker.
Usually when children start "yelling back" they are copying some type of behaviour that is already present in the home or something to which they are exposed. In this case, they "yell back" when you "yell" at them.
You cannot be angry if they are learning that in order to get their way that they need to yell.
Always remember that you are in control in a situation, not your nafs. Getting angry will only hurt you and your children in the long run. Even the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not yell at children.
I hope that you would be willing to listen to this naseeha (advice) because sometimes it is very difficult to hear when we are used to doing things differently.
Instead make wudu’, and call them and sit and talk to them. I would think that the approach of your wife would be the better approach, HOWEVER talking quietly does not mean they can take advantage. You can have firm consequences without yelling.
I would also at some point soon apologize to them for yelling and tell them that it is inappropriate and you want to do what is good before Allah.
Explain to them that when you do get angry it is because you love them and want the best for them. However, you will do your best to stop the yelling. While you are doing this, do have firm consequences for actions that go against the rules of the home and never yell at your wife or contradict her in front of the children. And vice versa.
Instead, talk to each other privately and always maintain a united position in front of the children.
And Allah knows best.
Name
um yusif
-
Profession
Question
What should I do to make my kids pray five times a day without feeling bored or forced to pray?
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, most Gracious most merciful, May He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
We have answered a similar question earlier. However, I will mention some points again. It is important that we do not make salah a punishment for kids. We have to show them through our own practice that it is an important part of our own live. Children learn more through the actions of their parents than they do from the words.
Make prayer a special time, one that is based on love and a time to be together not as a punishment.
Encourage them to pray with you. If you can give them their own special prayer mat and a space with you to pray.
Always call them when it is time to pray. Ensure all other distractions end about 10 minutes before the prayer, try to make this a natural habit in your home.
Remind them of how much Allah will love them for praying and the promises of Jannah. And if as a family you are to go there, that you need to pray together.
Institute family time for prayer, at a certain time, everyone should stop and pray together. This will create good memories for them.
When they are young, focus on the fard, do not make them focus on sunnah and nafl and increase it as time goes on.
These are some suggestions.
And Allah knows best.
Name
Radwa
-
Profession
Question
Can you please give me some ideas on how to teach children sharing?
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, most Gracious most merciful, May He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
May Allah bless you for trying to impart this noble characteristic in children.
Sharing is something that can be taught to children very easily through play. Especially when parents take time to play with their children and sometimes ask to borrow the toy that their child is playing with Or letting the child borrow what you are playing with.
Another good idea is exposing the child to other children through play groups. When arguments arise about wanting to play with the same toy, encourage them to think about a way that they can both play with the toy.
This becomes even easier when we impart the characteristic of empathy in our children. This is teaching them to think how others feel and putting themselves in their shoes.
There are many good children books on sharing that can be read to children. Other useful tools such as Adam's World show children the value of sharing with others.
One last idea is to give them money at times to give to poor people whom they may see Or to donate at a mosque and explain to them why it is important to give.
And Allah knows best.
Name
muslim mother
-
Profession
Question
I live in Canada and I have 11 month old -daughter. Though she is still so young, but I feel worried about her. I don't know how to deal with her in the future. How can I encourage her stick to hijab, Islamic way of dressing, prayer and so on. How can I rear her to be a righteous Muslim? Sometimes I feel that I have to go back home once she reaches maturity to protect her against the evils of this western society. Do you think this is the only solution? Please, let me know your suggestions because I'm really worried about my daughter. jazakum Allahu khairan.
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, most Gracious most merciful, May He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
My dear sister, may Allah bless you for your desire to do your best for your child. However do pre-occupy yourself with fears and concerns right now. Play with your daughter, read to her, play the Qur'an and just enjoy the mercy of this time with her from Allah. As she gets older, you will deal with challenges, but know firstly that Allah is always there and secondly, there are many strong, Muslim girls who have been brought up in the west.
With time, refer to those and to the practice of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) because they brought up daughters in a society full of many ills and vice.
I would also recommend the book Parenting in the West: An Islamic Perspective by Ekram and M. Rida Beshir. It is an excellent resource for families who have such worries.
May Allah protect you from such fears and bless you with a pious child who will be among the leaders of the righteous.
And Allah knows best.
Name
Mohamed
- Canada
Profession
Question
What is the most important age group to focus on in the year 2004?
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
I am puzzled by your question, if you can add to it and clarify, perhaps I may be able to answer it.
Jazakum Allahu Khairun
Name
Merryan
-
Profession
Question
As-Salamu `Alaykum Brother, I always Pray Jama’ah with my 9 year-old daughter just to make her get used to salah. But when I have my period, I for sure stop praying, and when my daughter asks me "Mom!! Why don't you pray any more?” I answer her "because I'm sick." But I feel that this is a wrong answer because this could make my daughter believe that the sick person should not pray and this is definitely incorrect. At the same time, I feel that she is still too young to talk to her about period and stuff like that. What do you suggest?
Answer
As-Salamu `Alaykum,
All praise is due to Allah, most Gracious most merciful, May He SWT send His peace and blessings on Muhammad and those who follow him until the day of Judgment.
May Allah continue to make you be a great role model for your daughter.
I believe that at age nine you can explain to her that women experience their menstrual cycle and during that time Allah gives them a time period to rest because sometimes they may suffer pain or other discomfort. And while generally a sick person has to pray, Allah has made an exception for the menstruating woman because there is flowing blood and as a mercy to them during that time.
Trust her and your skill as a parent, insha’Allah she will understand.
We pray Allah keeps you as a good role model for her and that her heart always stays with her Salah and relationship with Allah.
