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Yours,
Health and Science Editor
Name
Sano
-
Profession
Question
Can someone who is gay be normal again?
Answer
Dear Sano
This is a very important question and I wish to thank you for this. In short: Yes of course.
1. We need to acknowledge that it is wrong according to all the monotheistic religions, even if it is seen as normal or acceptable by some healthcare professionals or by others.
2. We need Motivation and determination to change.
3. We need to seek help from relevant healthcare professionals to establish whether there is an underlying or associated mental health or physical condition to be addressed.
4. Psychological therapy.
5. To ask God for help and guidance during every stage of your therapy until the person (man or woman) recovers.
Hope this answer your question.
Best wishes
Name
Logic
-
Profession
Question
if there is a cure for gays, why we see their number increase?
Answer
Dear Mr. logic
Thank you for your question.
The answer in short:
- There is a treatment
- People who need this treatment have to acknowledge that this is a problem and ask for help by an appropriate healthcare professional. However, not all gays (men or women) see it as a problem or if they need help they may not ask for this help.
- The effect of the media and removing this problem from the mental health classification of diseases (ICD- 10 or DSM-IV) leads to either some degree of acceptance or professionals do not feel in a position to help. Also, there are now highly powerful pressure groups that promote normalization and acceptance of homosexual practices, rather than promoting heterosexual relationships that are approved by all monotheistic religions .
Hope this helps
Name
Dick
-
Profession
Question
Why don't people stop this argument and just consider the gay as someone different? This will solve the problem.
Answer
Dear Dick,
This is a suggestion that may be accepted by some but how about the religions that do not approve such relationships or gay practices. Can we ignore the religion?
If we ignore teachings of religions and do everything without guidance from our religion or Almighty God, we are likely to do various wrong things leading to disruption of human life and moral principles. Such as:
1. Stealing money
2. Killing a human being with no justification.
3. Extramarital affairs
Would you accept all this to prevail or would you prefer that justice and adhering to good morals were to prevail.
Best wishes
Name
Muhammad
- Nigeria
Profession
Question
Assalamu alaikum Dr.
I have been having some problems bothering me. I am very easily aroused and this happens frequently. A mere single thought will cause me to have an erection. When i interact with a lady, i just become erect. I try to avoid sexual thoughts but i still can help it. I am currently engaged with a sister with the intention of getting married. Because we dont live in the same town, we communicate over the phone. However, even when chatting on phone i get aroused and get an erection. Even when we are not conversing, once the thought crosses my mind, i get aroused and become erect. I try as much to avoid this thought but this is difficult. By justing thinking of our conversation with this sister, i become erect. Know that we dont talk anything sexual or erotic, rather we are only trying to know each other. We talk about our belief, personality, behaviour etc. But still i dont know why i get aroused.i really dislike it but i cant just control it. The bad thing is that it affects my state of purity. Once the thought crosses my mind, its definite that I will get an erection even for some fews seconds and this leads to flow of prostatic fluid (madhii). This flow and discharge vitiates my ablution and affects my ibadah. After performing ablution and on my way to the mosque, I try as much as possible to avoid the thought but this is rarely possible. Before i get to the mosque, i most likely will feel the outflow the madhii. Even during salah, once there is a thought, i have to hasten up the salah before the madhii flows out. Please i need advice and help.
I also have to say that i have been thinking that I likely have a mild mental problem. i have mood swings sometimes, i can be very careless dressing wrongly like putting on bathroom slippers when going out, i experience alogia (poverty of speech nad thought). I think i exhibit some of the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. please i need advice. may be psychotherapy. but the problem is that there are few psychiatrists in my place.
Personal request to Dr. Mamdouh: How about one on one counselling with Dr Mamdouh fisabilillah.
Answer
Dear Brother,
Nice to hear from Nigeria and I think there are good psychiatrists in Nigeria.
This problem is not uncommon.
Please Arrange to see a psychiatrist to examine your mental state and rule out any mental illness. You described some symptoms of mood disorder that if treated may help reduce or completely take away the problem you're complaining of.
Also, I think that speeding up the process of marriage, especially since you are already engaged, is a good idea.
Best wishes
Name
S
-
Profession
Egypt
Question
My husband has no ability to practice the marital relationship.
we have been maried for 6 months & I ket it for myself and did not tell my family. Is there help?
Answer
Dear sister
Thank you for being so good and kind to your husband. Difficulty in performing the marital or intimate relationship could be due to many reasons. The most common are psychological.
Men may have difficulty developing an erection due to various psychological factors such as, feeling very shy due to a strict upbringing, or feeling very anxious and worried about failure, especially if they know or hear of a friend or relative who had a problem. This is common in Eastern cultures especially on the wedding night.
If this happens on the wedding night it may continue and persist as a chronic problem. I recommend that you approach your husband tactfully without insulting his manhood and suggest a consultation with a psychiatrist or a psychologist to assess the problem and plan a treatment. You need to go to the therapist together as assessment and treatment requires listening from both of you and working together on the treatment.
I have good news for you, it is a common problem and it is curable.
Best wishes
Name
Syed
- Qatar
Profession
Question
Many homosexuals who seek cure, are not 100% cured. Why?
Answer
Dear Syed,
Thanks for raising this very important query.
1. Treatment is available
2. Full recovery may need high motivation, persistence and an honest intention to avoid such behavior again.
3. There may be a need for having a healthy and morally acceptable alternative for channeling the sexual relationship e.g. a wife.
4. A follow up is needed by the treating therapist
Name
Girl
-
Profession
Question
I know that gays who want to stop are subjected to kind of therapy. What about lesbians?
Answer
Dear Sister,
A very important question, thanks very much for raising this issue.
The same applies to lesbians who acknowledge that they have a problem.
They need to seek help by an appropriate healthcare professional (psychiatrist) to perform a thorough examination, rule out any underlying treatable cause (physical or mental) and plan the appropriate psychological treatment by a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Best wishes
Name
ahmad
- India
Profession
Question
salam walaikum brother !
What is the cure to homosexuality? is it tru that it use to be considered a pscyhological illness ?
Answer
Dear Ahmed,
Regards to all in the great country India and many thanks for your excellent question.
1. Cure: Please see my answer to the previous questions.
2. Cause: is rather complex and includes one or more of the following:
- Biological: e.g. abnormality in the genes, hormones, etc.
- Psychological: as a result of early faulty upbringing, early painful
experience, trauma, etc. or misconceptions and misunderstandings.
- Social: related to social groups, peer pressure, wanting to be accepted and wanted.
- Cultural: It may be accepted and even encouraged in certain cultures. Or one may feel under pressure if approaching the opposite gender is seen as taboo and is discouraged even within the boundaries of respect and good moral principles.
- Financial reasons: people may sell themselves to practice same sex for money.
Hope you find this of help.
Best wishes
Name
ahmed
- Kenya
Profession
buissnesman
Question
asalam alaikum i have given my wife her first divorce,this is due to her always chating on the intyernate with men and this has made her go to very bad chat rooms,i have warned her and told her that this is haram it is going to lead to other things but she insits that it is not haram,this how shatan works and will lead you astray.but she still continues and ignores me .i feel i have the right to divorce her someone who is not scared of allah i have no right to be with her.i have talked to her alot but it has been 5 months and she still continues.i wanted to know if i was right to divorce her? for me someone who dosent respect her husband or allah has the right to be divorced
Answer
Dear brother Ahmed,
Thank you for your question. I think it may be important for your wife to read this answer and all similar cases related to disagreement about accessing chat rooms by men or women.
I will leave the fatwa aspect to be addressed by a scholar but would urge all husbands and wives to be sensible in their behavior and not to forget their responsibilities and to establish a good relationship between themselves and with their children.
Divorce should not be the first choice but the last and unavoidable choice. If your discussion with her does not work, involve a wise member of her family and another from your family. Remember that you are the family leader and have been given an authority and responsibility by God.
I appreciate that chat rooms could lead the person (man or woman) to unwanted pathways. But wisdom in addressing this matter is highly important.
Best wishes
Name
alissa
- Australia
Profession
Question
Salam wa'alikum,
My cousin claims to be a gay and says that he began to have feelings for men when he was only 7 yrs old, he said he had a crush on this school teacher.
How would that be acquired ? What sort of factors could contribute ? His parents divorce when he was 5yrs old and he moved overseas, his older brother is also homosexual.
Thanks
Answer
Dear Alissa,
Thanks for this very interesting and important question.
1. Feeling attracted to another person of the same gender does not mean being gay.
2. It is common during early age to feel attracted to and feel love towards some important figures in the life of the young person such as a good teacher, a schoolmate or a friend.
3. If these feelings are misunderstood or wrongly taken as evidence of being homosexual, I am afraid that some youngsters will go in the wrong direction if they do not have access to wise guidance or to an advisor.
4. I suspect that both your cousins did not have a warm and healthy upbringing, missed the wisdom of a father/mother or guidance from a good understanding of the difference between positive feelings towards a person of the same gender and considered this wrongly as evidence of same sex attraction.
Please urge them to seek the help of a specialist in confidence and reassure them that this does not prove that they are gay and that help is available.
Name
Islam
-
Profession
Question
I've heard that homosexuality is inborn, how this??
Answer
Dear Islam,
Very good question
There is no sound scientific or research evidence to support the view that homosexuality is inborn. Homosexuality has been known across nations and cultures over the history of mankind. However, the monotheistic religions do not approve or condone such a behavior for various reasons, of which we may know some.
It was important to stick to heterosexual practices to preserve the human race and to have more people to live on earth as wanted by Almighty God.
Also, homosexuality has been found to be associated with health hazards such as HIV, rectal prolapse and others.
Please refer to my answer to Ahmed from India and also visit the Health and Science Section on Islamonline.net as there has been a very good comment by Dr. A El-Awady on a research about this matter.
Hope this helps.
Name
Aly
- Kuwait
Profession
Question
My wife demands sexual relationship more than I can cope with. She nearly wants it few times a day. Is this an illness or normal
Answer
This Question has been already answered
Name
Mohammed
-
Profession
Question
Do strange sexual behaviors all have psychological causes or inherited or those people are just victims of abuse?
Answer
Dear Mohamed,
It may be helpful if you explain what you mean by abnormal sexual behaviors. Do you mean same sex attraction or practicing homosexuality?
Yes, causes of this are complex and include biological or psychological causes. However victims of sexual abuse may suffer symptoms of PTSD (Post traumatic Stress Disorder). Some victims of abuse may develop same sex attraction as well as those who were not sexually abused.
