I'm not from Europe but I am from North America, so I think this Live Dialogue is relevant to me. I am a Muslim women, 1st generation south Asian, born and raised here. I am a professional woman, in my late 30s, not married. I find that our parents' generation came to the west to build their economic status and enhance educational opportunities for their kids. I was raised to be progressive, except in one way: matters relating to the opposite sex. In north America, it was expected that my parents would receive "proposals" for me via friends/contacts of theirs. In this environment, this system is not without complications -- the reality is 1st generation don't choose life partners in this way. The downside as well is that if you sit around and just wait for your phone to ring with a proposal for your daughter, your daughter will be sitting around for a very long time. That is why I am not married -- I had very few "proposals", and when I did, they were from men who did not have immigration status, or who did not speak English properly because they were recent immigrants, or they were not educated enough (i have several university degrees; why would I want to marry a waiter or construction worker who has no desire to further his education or career prospects??). Why did the parents not get together and come up with a strategy to get us young people to meet each other so we could marry like-minded muslims? Why was there such a moratorium on male-female relations? The parents' generation was so obsessed with us not mixing with the opposite sex - so all of us nice girls never got married. Its not like I would have run out and started sleeping around -- I am muslim, i have muslim values. But this attitude, that you just pray dua, and don't make efforts to meet and mingle so as to find a spouse, is very regressive. The parents put so much emphasis on the traditional "proposal" method that girls like me, who are not very pretty and I'm not slim either, a little dark-skinned, are left without a husband, and cannot have children or families of our own. I find it disgusting that so many muslim parents of boys seek out girls who are extremely pretty and shapely. With the "proposal" method, you never ever learn anythign about the girl's personality or character, except through third-person referrals -- which is stupid. When you look for a job, you go for a job interview and meet your prospective employer -- you don't sit there and let them look you over and then ask you questions via proxy.
Answer
Assalamu Aleikum Daaniya,
indeed you are talking about a very important issue.
I totally agree that we should find spaces for young Muslims to meet and get to know each other. There is the attitude in the first generation to put a high importance on segregation, but this leads to two different issues for us living in the "west".
First young people somehow are forced into a split personality. Within the Muslim community they are not allowed in extreme cases to greet their sisters/brothers. In their live in school, university etc. they have relations with non-Muslim girls or boys. This is not something bad per se, as long as the Islamic borders are respected. Secondly there are very few chances for young Muslim boys or girls to get to know each other.
We try to provide these chances within the Muslim youth organizations. Like minded/educated young Muslims can get to know each other with the aim to marry and found a Muslim family. But this is not enough. We do have to change the mindset of the Muslim community here in regards to what is Islam and what is tradition. If we see the life of the prophet or his companions (men and women) we can see that the segregation which our elder generations know have very weak foundation in the Islam, but are are more tradition related
Name
Zainab
-
Profession
Question
Salaam u alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,
dear scholar,
What could you tell us about the Battle of the Camel or the fights between Hazrat Aisha (RA) & Caliph Ali (RA)? Why did she fight him? How did Caliph Uthman (RA) die? Was it Ali (RA) that killed him? Was this battle a lie or slander being spread by some misguided voices?
Could you please explain the story in context of the questions above here or by citing a link In Sha Allah. OR if it is possible, write an article on the subject, please.
May Allah guide us all and save us from fitnah, Ameen,
Answer
Salamu Alikum...
We apologize for not being able to reply to your question in this live session as it tackles a different topic. However, we recommend that you re-ask it again during any of IOL's live fatwa sessions.
Should you have any inquiries, please do not hesitate to contact the Shari`ah department team through Living.Shariah@iolteam.com
Name
Michal Rachel
- France
Profession
Question
Good Evening,
I am a non-Muslim but I respect this website a lot.
I have a question to the guest. Mr. Swaid, I am very much inspired by the European Muslims’ different calls and steps towards integration. I can see the change in their mentality and it is very positive change that they now feel that integration has become a must and are willing to contributing to the European communities. Like any other religion, many of its believers are extremists and many of the non-Muslims are against Islam and Muslims’ presence in Europe as well. Now how can we deal with the attempts of integration of Muslims in Europe while facing the huge number of Muslim extremist and terrorist and while having the anti-immigration and Islam parties on the rise (I can refer here to the European parliament elections’ results).
Answer
Hallo Michal,
I am sure the Islamonline team is happy to hear and see, that non-Muslims are following the website.
I am happy as well, because we do need exchange and get to know each other to be able to overcome prejudices.
Just some comments.
Like in other religions extremists are not many but the people whose voice is too often heard, because they shout often the loudest! I also believe that the extremists in the European society hating Muslims are not the majority either. But we definitely have a rise of Islamophobia. The recent European elections reflect that very much.
Another comment I would like to make is that integration is not a one way street. Both groups (minority and majority) have to change and adjust to the other. The challenge is to find the behaviors every one of us has to change. We as Muslims have to get back to our behavior and see what is religion and what tradition. Where are our borderlines. this we only can define ourselves.
You have to challenge us in asking questions. Sometimes the answers you get will not make you happy. And as the Muslims have to change the Non-Muslims will have to change as well. Respect is here the key word we have all to take into account.
And Islamophobia will only be wiped out if all institutions, governmental and civil society put their hands together and work for the common good.
Name
Thehseen
- South Africa
Profession
computer science student
Question
Salaams brother
Are the muslim youth any where in the world any closer to the right track or the path of righteousness?
The simple answer is a big no.
I unfortunately feel lost most of the time, like many young muslims.
The month of Ramadaan does help me get on track a little.
But i know all too well how fast i slip back into my evil skin
So my question to you is how to stay on the the right track once you have found it?
Answer
wassalamu aleikum,
we as Muslims definitely are having a heard time to go through. But there is always hope! If you see what the situation of Muslims was 100 years ago and the one now you definitely will see progress. This is surely not enough.
The way out is to hold fast on the rope of Allah. Ramadan always reminds us of that, but this, as you said, is not enough.
We do have to work on ourselves, our families, our communities and our society.
Set for yourselves aims in all areas of life and try hard to reach them. And believe me it is easier if you do that together with others than alone. Because if you stay alone, you will be dragged by the wolf, like in the hadith.
Name
Jasine
- Australia
Profession
Question
Salam !
Ive found that the men of our religion are not so closely following their religion, anymore? I don't like to generalize, but would you agree ? If so, how can we get back on track ?
Answer
wassalamu aleikum
Generalizing has never been a good thing.
I personally do not believe that is men only are women only are on the right track or have lost it.
Both sexes have their duties to work on and only together we will be able help each other becoming better Muslims.
Be the mirror for your sisters and brothers like the prophet Mohamed (PBUH)have taught us :)
Name
Zahir
- Romania
Profession
Student Mass Communication
Question
Salam,
I wonder how can European Muslims overcome the loyalty challenge while continuing to look at their European Governments as the enemies of Islam and Muslims in their countries of origin, whether Palestinians, Iraqis, etc?
Answer
Assalamu aleikum
For me, as a Muslim born and raised in Europe I do not feel to have a loyalty challenge.
I am loyal to my country Germany. This does not mean that I am OK with all what the government is doing.
I very often have this discussion for example with my cousins or friends in Muslim majority countries who have difficulties to understand this viewpoint. I believe being loyal to Germany has even something to do with my religion.
Never the less I do support my Palestinian or Iraqi brothers and sisters. And by the way, there are a lot of my Non-Muslim friends here in Germany, who do the same and are also not happy with the decision of Chancellor Merkel, Sarkozy, etc.
And to be clear, in the next football world championship I will support again the German team :)
Name
Mujibul
- United Kingdom
Profession
Student
Question
How can we maintain our Muslim identity and get involved in a non-Muslim community which is against religious attitude and pro secular approaches only? I am 18 and based in Manchester.
Answer
Assalamu aleikum
Please do not generalize.
I do agree, that there are people in our Western societies who are against Islam and Muslims. These people have existed since the time of our prophet and they will exist until the end of time. But they are not the only people here, neither in Manchester, London, Paris or London. There are a lot of Non-Muslims either with whom you will find a common ground. But if we Muslims stay only in between ourselves, we will not find them and they will have also difficulties to find us.
So lets get out, be pro active, inform people about Islam, work on eliminating prejudice in the Muslim and non-Muslim society.
Name
Editor
-
Profession
Question
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Answer
This session has come to an end.
We would like to thank Mr. Khallad Swaid for speaking to IslamOnline.net viewers today and we also thank all those who participated in this dialogue.
We apologize for not being able to accommodate any further questions. We request our readers to join us in the upcoming sessions.
Mr. Khallad,
How do you see the status of the European Muslim youth nowadays under the economic crunch situation that hit Europe a couple of years ago, extremism, and the rise of anti-Islam parties in Europe? Do you see a hope in our future while being discriminated against?
Answer
Assalamu aliekum
Never loose hope and see the other answers :)
wassalamu aleikum
Name
Hasna Mansour
- Germany
Profession
University Professor
Question
We have recently been under the attention of the fury at the Schalke 04’s club song. I don’t know what are German Muslims going? We had an opportunity to shed the light on Islamophobia in Germany in Marqwa El-Sherbini’s case. But now that some hundred Muslims in Germany have complained about an incidence song, I can expect that the German authorities will be dealt with our complaints on a naïve basis and even this may affect el-sherbini’s coming verdict…How do you think German Muslims can maintain their Islamic identity, call for their rights, strengthen their loyalty to Germany all in a good manner and while delivering the right image about Islam? Please help..
Answer
Assalamu aleikum Hasna,
JAK for your question.
@ the football club Schalke and its club song: Actually we do have to ask the question, what came into the mind of the person to put Muhammad (PBUH) in that song? Why did he not put Moses (Musa) or Jesus? I really would like to hear this answer.
Surely we do have to think about our reactions. Are we just furious or thinking clearly what is the best for Islam and Muslims in our country. How are we presenting Islam to the people here. In this regards all Muslim institutions are putting a lot of efforts but we still are far away of where we should be.
And we also have to understand how media functions. For them only "bad news are good news". Never the less they are picky, if you consider the reactions in Europe on sister Marwa and her murder. But I also believe we, as a Muslim community in Europe, are growing up. Lets see the positive progress we have been doing in the last years and work on us and every one around us. This is our challenge here in Europe.
To answer your question: We do have to professionalize our work more and more. The institutions our parents have built covered their needs, but the needs have changed. We do have to understand Islam properly and educate ourselves better in regards to Islam. And we have to learn how to life this wonderful religion in our home here. Only if we Muslims work better together, leave all differences by side (be they origin, madhhab, political, etc.) we will be able to face the challenges in our country and as a Muslim Ummah alike.
