Due the restrictions of time, we were not able to answer everyone’s questions. But Dr. Badri has agreed that the unanswered questions be emailed to him, whereby he will answer them and return them to IOL. For those who have included their emails in the question, the answer will be emailed to you. For those who did not include an email, you can find the answer to your question by accessing this session under the link Recent Sessions in the Live Dialogue corner in the upcoming week and the answers will be there. May Allah be with you.
Answer
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Name
Azhar
-
Profession
Executive Secretary
Question
AsSalamualaikum,
I am suffering since past 7 years from insunuating thoughts about Allah, Prophet, Islam etc. etc. (Waswas) I am trying very hard to get rid of this problem but I could not succeed until now. Many times it came to my mind to commit sucide instead of bearing such evil thoughts but then I also thought that this is not allowed in Islam. I consulted many Physciatric doctors who gave me certain medications and they did not help much. I am told that it is an illness called OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and simultaneously I consulted number of scholars about this problem and they say that it is Shaitan. Sometimes I feel that I might have gone out of Islam. Would you please put some light on this problem ?
Answer
My Dear Br. Azhar:
I would like you view this obsessive compulsive disorder as a test(ibtila') from Allah. Some people are tested by physical illness and some are tested with psychological disorders. The most important thing I would like you to know is that your serious regretful feelings for having such evil thoughts are the biggest indication of your Iman(faith). Had it not been for the fact that you value your relationship with Allah, you wouldn't have had any psychological pain regarding these thoughts. Though modern psychiatry considers OCD to be one of the most difficult neurotic disorders with respect to its treatment, I have known of patients who were greatly improved with a combination of drugs and psychotherapeutic treatment. I have personally helped such patients by the use of relaxation, systematic desensitization, and aversion therapy to their unwanted thoughts.
When you stand up to pray and you experience these ugly obsessional thoughts attacking your mind, do not feel dejected. This Waswasah ridden prayer may in fact be more accepted and rewarded in front of Allah then the prayers of many people who do not suffer from this order. This optimistic approach will help you much in reducing the severity of these negative thoughts. You must know that even the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) used to have fleeting thoughts which they used to say it would be better for one to through himself from the mountain of Uhud in Medina and break his neck then to express these thoughts openly. When they complained to the Prophet (pbuh) about these thoughts, he smiled and told them that is the evidence for their Iman(faith). Also you should know the difference between you and other psychologically healthy Muslims is a difference of degree. Every Muslim gets some of these thoughts, at times in his/her prayer, but they are not greatly disturbed by them. The frequency of these thoughts and their severity reach their maximum when they cause the person to have a disorder like yours. I advice you to find a good Muslim psychologists who can help you along Islamic lines. I also advice you, to say your prayers in Jam'ah instead of praying alone. Also I advise you to indulge in activities that are interesting to you and to avoid as much as possible to be alone. Find a good friend who can preoccupy your time with good companionship and counsel. Lastly, I must tell you that some patients were greatly improved by taking suitable psychiatric drugs. So do not resist the idea of taking drugs.
Name
Female
-
Profession
Question
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah, I am a married, young female junior medical doctor , normally fit and active; I have been diagnosed yesterday with pulmonary embolism (blood clot/s) in the lungs, a potentially fatal disease. Alhamdulillah , ALLAH the most Kind , Most Merciful had chosen me for this and I know that this is not but for his love for me as it would be either to reward me or at least my sins would be forgiven if I am patient. And indeed this trial is small in comparison to the trials ALLAH has inflicted upon many other muslims. We dont know when we die but now I know my risk of dying young is relatively high. Please give me some advise so that I can create a balance between continuing life optimistically and at the same time being well prepared to meet my Lord? What is sakaratul mawt? Is it equivalent to something like a cardiac arrest or is it the pain experienced during the death of body cells out of deprivation of oxygen or what is it? Is sakratul mawt the stage just before the soul is pulled out of the body ? I understand that the soul of the believers will be pulled gently by the angel of death; but at the same time sakaratul mawt will be painful (as suffered by the prophet s.a.w). Please enlighten me on this. Also, my parents lives in another faraway country. They are quite old. Should I tell them about my health? From the Islamic point of view, is it better or not for me to tell them? If I tell them , they may be more prepared (mentally)if anything happens to me but it would also mean making them worry rather unnecessarily ? Please make dua that me and other muslims die as true believers. Jazakumullah khairan
Answer
Dear Sister:
wa alikum asslamu
I have been quite moved by your problem and I feel too small to give you the advice you require. I wish only to remind you of the authenticated Hadith of the Prophet (pbuh) in which a black women who was a companion of the Prophet (pbuh) complained to him that she suffered from epileptic seizures in which she lost consciousness and fell to the ground, sometimes exposing her body during her unconsciousness. She asked the Prophet (pbuh) to make Dua for her to be cured from her disease. The Prophet (pbuh) answered by saying that: I can now make dua for you and you will definitely be cured, but if you are patient enough to live with this disorder then I assure you paradise". The women said yes, Oh messenger of Allah I prefer to spend the rest of my life suffering from this disease and go to paradise; only make dua for me that when I am unconscious I do not expose any part of my body that should be covered. The Prophet then made Dua for her according to her wish. This woman lived for many years after the death of the Prophet (pbuh) and the companions of the Prophet will always point to her and say this is a women who will be admitted to paradise.
If we are to derive a lesson from this distinguished female companion, then in sha Allah I believe am not going beyond my limit if I give you good tidings that in sha Allah you are a women of Paradise if you continue to have the feelings and thoughts you have expressed in your question.
My dear daughter because of the influence of our modern materialistic life we consider death to be the end of life. In fact, death is stage in which the soul is freed from the prison of time and space, which we are locked up in this life. I would like to mention to you a very interesting simile which Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali, the great Muslim sage(Wali), has mentioned in his Magnum Opus Ihya Ulum Addin. I will try to modernize this example for you. He says that if we can talk to a fetus about to be born and if the fetus can understand what is said to it, it would not be able to imagine our description about the world outside the darkness of the womb. If we tell it about the moon and the sun, he /she cannot comprehend them because of his/her mind limitation and his inter uterine environment. During his/her life in the uterus of the mother the most important organ to him was the placenta which gives him nourishment and oxygen and takes away his waist products. After he/she is born this placenta has no use for him/her. It is thrown away somewhere. When he/she is born in this world, it assumes the role of a very large uterus and his/her body assumes the role that the placenta used to take when he/she was in the uterus of his mother. If we are told in this world about life after death and the great things we will see in the Barzakh(intermediary stage between death and the afterlife) we will never be able to imagine them because we are like adult fetuses in the uterus of this life. When we die then we are reborn and we break the chains of the material world. In This way I imagine that our life is like a modern rocket when it breaks the gravitational force. Part of it will no longer have any use and it breaks of to free the essential component of the rocket to go faster to another planet.
So my dear daughter, death is an experience which we should look forward to if we really wish to free our souls from the gravitational pull of the sinful material world. The process of birth is a painful experience for the baby as he is pushed out of his mother's uterus, but after that he/she is rewarded by a much richer and more meaningful life.
As for your question about Sakarat Al-mawt, one can dare to say what ever pains a mo’min(believer) experiences is in fact nothing but a preparation for his rebirth in the next stage of life where he/she would meet his/her Creator and see the friendly angles recieving his/her soul and giving him/her glad tidings and spiritual pleasures which are beyond the description of any human language. The Prophet (pbuh) endured the pain of death(Sakrat al-Mawt) more then the usual mo'min because of the spiritual station in Heaven he was travelling to was higher then any other spiritual station that could be experienced by any creation of Allah(Human or not).
Dear daughter your case reminds of a Malaysian women who shares your description in terms of dedication and love to Allah(swt) and the Prophet(pbuh). She was suffering from cancer and during her painful terminal period she refused to take any pain killers. She was saying that she did not want to eclipse her mind by taking drugs because she wanted enjoy her last days in istighfaar(asking for forgiveness) and in the remembrance of Allah.
As for you parents, I cannot say definitively whether you should tell them or not. This may require the consent of somebody who is more learned in the Islamic religion then my self. However, if you have a younger relative living with your parents or who are near to them and they are wise enough to gradually give them information about your health at the appropriate time it would a more prudent approach to handling this problem.
Lastly, my daughter, you know as a medical doctor that there are many cases of spontaneous remission which medicine cannot explain. I personally know of a doctor who cancer was so advanced that it attacked his nervous system and was paralyzed. His brother, sitting at his deathbed was continuously making Dua for him, which he only stopped when he went to the bathroom. Professor Abu A'isha, proffessor of medicine in the University of King Saud in Riyadh was taking care of this case. The patient gradually improved and in a few months he was totally cured of his cancer. Modern medicine may call it spontaneous remission, but we know better. This case is verification of the verse in the Quran in which Allah says: Certainly He responds to the call of the needy caller when he calls. In sha Allah, I will make Dua for you.
Name
fatima
-
Profession
Question
What is your view on someone who is 'taken over' by a jinn? Is this the situation most of the time, or is it usually a psychological problem? (the person suffers from speaking in different languages which she doesn't know, her voice becomes that of a man's, acts in a very strange manner, etc.). How should people around this person deal with her?
Answer
Dear sister Fatima,
Your question is one which is puzzling modern Muslim psychologists and psychiatrists who are committed to their Islamic faith and way of life but who studied western behavioral sciences. In their Western psychological studies they are told that Jinn or soul or any form of unobserved phenomenon of a spiritual essence should be kept outside the realm of science and should be limited to religious or metaphysical studies. Such ethereal otherworldly things, they claim, have no place in scientific psychology or psychiatry.
In fact behaviorists, who dominated the field of psychology for more than half a century and whose influence is still clear in all branches of psychology in spite of the “so called” cognitive revolution, have openly denied the existence of a human mind or have at least depreciated its role in shaping human behavior. The “mind” to their extremists cannot be directly observed and thus it can only be accepted if it is used as a synonym for the brain!
Freud, who was the most influential thinker in molding modern psychology and psychiatry, and in fact, in shaping the whole of western modernity, has openly ridiculed religion. He considered belief in God an illusion and the act of worshipping Him as an obsessional neurosis of humanity.
In this new secular faith man is viewed as an animal, different from other animals only in the behavior he carries out. His behavior should only be explained in terms of his nervous system, his genes, his hormones, his upbringing, his unconscious motivation, his environment or any other variable that can be studied in a their limited scientific area.
Thus the behavior of a person who acts as though a different being or person or persons have taken over his personality, causing him to speak in a different voice and to behave in a way that is completely different from his usual ways is classified as suffering from a multiple personality disorder. This, according to their classification, is a dissociative disorder in which the afflicted person avoids his unbearable stress by ‘escaping’ from his personal identity. He may forget who he is (amnesia) or he may suddenly assume a different character. When you read their intricate explanations of these phenomena in terms of unconscious sexual and aggressive conflicts and circular roundabout theories, you can clearly see, as a neutral observer, that to believe in the truthfulness their claims is more demanding than to believe in jinn possession. They have a great difficulty in trying to deny any spiritual phenomena.
Western psychology is thus not neutral. It is based on a new religion of secular humanism. We as Muslims should understand this very well if we wish to uphold our faith and worldview. As a WHO expert studying traditional healing in Ethiopia and Sudan in the early seventies, I have seen ‘Zar’ possessed persons who spoke in different languages which they do not speak in their usual life and whose voices changed and who possessed unusual psychic powers by which they could tell their clients about their personal experiences that nobody knows about.
Alhamdulilahi, many Muslim young psychologists today refuse to be mere parrots and submissive followers of western psychological thought. Write to sister Mona Amir in the MuslimMentalHealth@yahoogroups.com. She will give you detailed information on this subjectn of possession.
Name
nadia
- Spain
Profession
student
Question
assalamu aleikom,
my question is: I had a sexual relation in the chat line of one page, then i still had that relation for 9 months, with that man, I stoped it now. Is that considered as a (Zinaa) in real, even it was only in chat?
Answer
The editor--
Dear Sister Nadia:
Perhaps this question ought to be submitted in the Live Fatwa session in the upcoming week. This forum was primarily for those who needed psychological counseling.
Name
Muslimah
-
Profession
Question
Salam Alaykoum,
Please help me how to overcome my current situation and gain strength: 26, still single and there are no candidates (though Allah made me healthy and beautiful ahemdullillah),worked hard several years, still no savings for my own future, divorced and sick unhappy mother to support, depressed single father, no freedom to contact friends, step out of the door to feel the sun and see the world, weekends and vacations lock me up at home, little brothers and sisters to take care of, a young man doesn't know I'm in love with him, lives separated from his non-muslim wife, not divorced, too much coincidences made him cross my road past years, 2 weeks ago I had to cut off the friendly phone contact with him, due to his marital status to stop being exposed to his invitations and his voice, though I want him! It still hurts, I don't want to close the door on this man I secretly love so long, I had to cut out the possibility of haram actions by him and by me. Looking to a weekend is looking at a mountain. Seeing people enjoy the sun, their freedom their love remembers me what I'm missing. My mother gets quickly aggressive, does not trust anyone. I can't be myself towards her. Allah knows I AM praying, I AM a virgin, I AM supporting, I AM fasting, I AM serious in my career, graduated, work, do household. But still it is not my life. Still there is no time and place for my feelings, my wishes, my future, my love, no own home, no children, no own friends, no freedom, no life.
What does Allah want me to do or to be, in order not to suffer anymore. I pray, I believe in Allah, still it hurts!
Answer
Due the restrictions of time, we were not able to answer everyone’s questions. But Dr. Badri has agreed that the unanswered questions be emailed to him, whereby he will answer them and return them to IOL. For those who have included their emails in the question, the answer will be emailed to you. For those who did not include an email, you can find the answer to your question by accessing this session under the link Recent Sessions in the Live Dialogue corner in the upcoming week and the answers will be there. May Allah be with you.
Name
Ahmad
-
Profession
Question
Salamon Alaykom,
I am not sure if this is related to phsycology but some how I think you can help me:
I am working as a lecturer of Operations Management in one of the universities in England. The problem I have is that some times my intentions become a serious problem for me.
Some times I think with myself that what I am doing is basically teaching Non-Muslims how to make more money through better organisation of their work. In fact I am teaching them how to contribute more in the capitalism western way of life.
As a Muslim I find this disappointing and some times I think of changing my field of work or going back to my original Muslim country (both of which are quite difficult).
When I am in a good mood I tell myself that I am doing this job to bring Rezq to my family so that should be my intention. At the same time with being a good lecturer I try to establish a good image of a Muslim for students. I then try to complete my Islamic duties by other activities as my hobbies. Some times I think maybe I can talk about Islam at the end of one of my lectures but as you know this is completely unacceptable in academia.
This thought that I am doing something anti-Islamic (teaching Non-Muslims how to be stronger in their businesses) annoys me a lot.
Any advice is appreciated.
Answer
Dear brother Amad,
Your are wondering whether your problem is psychological in nature or not. I should like to assure you that it is. At least it is a problem of a psyhospiritual nature. First, it is a psychological problem because you are essentially suffering from an approach-avoidance conflict. You like your specialization and you seem to be a good lecturer. This is a positive approach. But you feel you are actually using your expertise to help the wrong people. This is the negative approach. When a person is enduring such a conflicting situation, even for less important issues, he can experience painful stress. If the problem is not resolved, this long lasting stress may cause him to become chronically anxious.
Secondly, it is a spiritual problem because the conflict is caused by a religious and moral issue. That is why I am using the term “psychospiritual”. Trying to resolve the issue by telling yourself that your job is bringing “rizq” to your family or that you can at times talk about Islam to your students or that your good teaching is in itself a way of indirectly preaching Islam since your students know you are a Muslim may help you in reducing the anxiety that crops up from time to time. However this would not solve the problem drastically.
I can understand your problem very well because I had personally suffered from the same conflict when I was briefly teaching in the American University of Beirut during the sixties. Though most of my students were Muslims, but the American University was playing a major role in secularizing and westernizing its students and a practicing Muslim at that time may find himself a misfit. And despite the fact that the years I spent as an assistant professor were among the most fruitful to me in learning new experiences in my field, and although I was able to make many good friends from my Christian colleagues and old professors, I was not happy from the Islamic and spiritual standpoints. It was mainly for this reason that I accepted a much lower salary to work as a reader in Omdurman Islamic University in 1968. In fact I lost all my gratuity by resigning from the American University without giving the proper notice.
By referring to my personal experience, I do not intend to propose to you to go back to your country or to leave your job. Things are very different now from our good times in the sixties. However there are three things that you can do to help. First, in the sunna of our Prophet (SAW) there is indeed a very great gift that helps to resolve psychological conflicts. That is du’a’ al-Istikhara. Repeat this du’a’ after offering a prayer of two rak’ats. I am sure Allah Ta’ala will guide you to take the right decision.
Secondly, you can apply to a university in a Muslim country such as Malaysia where your kids will not miss the good life of the west but live in an Islamic environment. At least, most of your students would be Muslims.
Thirdly, since your specialization is in management, you should not be a slave of the academic way of life. You may get better risq for your family if you free yourself from the chains of university teaching and find a job in a commercial enterprise.
Name
Tahir
- Pakistan
Profession
Student
Question
Assalam Alaikum,
How should i ask my family members, and friends to follow the righteous path, as they have some bad rituals(following from culture)which arent islamic. Whats the best way of asking them to stop, without being rude to someone like your parents?
Thanks.
Answer
Due the restrictions of time, we were not able to answer everyone’s questions. But Dr. Badri has agreed that the unanswered questions be emailed to him, whereby he will answer them and return them to IOL. For those who have included their emails in the question, the answer will be emailed to you. For those who did not include an email, you can find the answer to your question by accessing this session under the link Recent Sessions in the Live Dialogue corner in the upcoming week and the answers will be there. May Allah be with you.
Name
Muslim
- Pakistan
Profession
Student
Question
Assalam Alaikum,
What is the Islamic point of view about love(feeling) between an unmarried man and woman. If i fall in love(feel like that for someone) with some Muslim girl who is namehram, then what should i do? Should i feel guilty for that? I am not yet able to support a family, still studying. What is the islamic view over such situation which are very common in my country, how the young generation should behave in that situation? I asked that cause there is not any guidance at all in most cases from parents as they are ignorant of islamic knowledge as well(in most cases i have seen).
May Allah be our guide in all matters.
Answer
Due the restrictions of time, we were not able to answer everyone’s questions. But Dr. Badri has agreed that the unanswered questions be emailed to him, whereby he will answer them and return them to IOL. For those who have included their emails in the question, the answer will be emailed to you. For those who did not include an email, you can find the answer to your question by accessing this session under the link Recent Sessions in the Live Dialogue corner in the upcoming week and the answers will be there. May Allah be with you.
Name
sumaz
- Saudi Arabia
Profession
Administration
Question
Is Obsessive Cumpulsive Disorder (OCD) is real illness. What should one do if he or she is experienceing evil thoughts and cannot concentrate during prayers.
Answer
The editor--
Dear Sis. Sumaz:
asslmau alikum
You can find the answer to your question in the answer to Br. Azhar's question because it is similiar(please see above).
Name
mohammed
- Australia
Profession
banker
Question
what is your advice for living in australia for my kids?
or what is the most importnat thing to make them close to the basic of the islamic life?
Answer
Due the restrictions of time, we were not able to answer everyone’s questions. But Dr. Badri has agreed that the unanswered questions be emailed to him, whereby he will answer them and return them to IOL. For those who have included their emails in the question, the answer will be emailed to you. For those who did not include an email, you can find the answer to your question by accessing this session under the link Recent Sessions in the Live Dialogue corner in the upcoming week and the answers will be there. May Allah be with you.
Name
Mohammed
-
Profession
Question
Salam Alaikum. To what degree is "love" important for someone thinking of marriage ... for a successful marriage, and is there a definition of love?
Answer
Due the restrictions of time, we were not able to answer everyone’s questions. But Dr. Badri has agreed that the unanswered questions be emailed to him, whereby he will answer them and return them to IOL. For those who have included their emails in the question, the answer will be emailed to you. For those who did not include an email, you can find the answer to your question by accessing this session under the link Recent Sessions in the Live Dialogue corner in the upcoming week and the answers will be there. May Allah be with you.
