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Answer
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Name
Jennah
-
Profession
Question
Is there anything I can do for mother, who forgets alot of things. For example, she forgot to pick me up from school last week.
Answer
That first thing that I would recommend is a calendar, either for the family or for each person, mother and daughter in this case, to keep track of important appointments. Sometimes communication is not clear so in the morning reminding Mom that she needs to pick you up would be help.
Name
Altaf
- United States
Profession
Social Worker
Question
Jazakallah khair for sharing your time with us. How do you deal with families who have mental health issues, but are not comfortable with going to non-Muslim counselors or professionals?
Answer
This is a very important question and issue that we are facing in our communities. We do have a serious shortage of Muslim counselors. One of the ways is to increase awareness by programs such as this one that educate people about what counseling is really about. Sometimes people feel comfortable starting in the Mosque and then being referred to a professional that has already established a relationship with the community. Another thing that can be done is to have a liaison between the Muslim community and the non-Muslim professionals in order to educate the non-Muslim professional as well as providing resources that are acceptable to Muslims and also providing the trust that is necessary for a Muslim to seek a non-Muslim counselor. Al-Hamdu lillahi, we are slowing developing a network of Muslim counselors to help meet the needs of the Muslim community.
I personally will try to establish contact with a non-Muslim professional who is working with a Muslim family just to provide the cultural sensitivity and Islamic awareness about our values. I encourage Muslims who are in a situation where they have to work with a non-Muslim counselor to be very accretive in explaining our values and to not to feel that they have to comply with interventions that contradict our beliefs.
Name
Amina
- United States
Profession
Writer
Question
When a person notes concerns regarding the mental health of a family member, friend or associate, how would you suggest they tactfully go about encouraging them to seek help? And how can a wife encourage her husband to participate in marital counseling when they have problems and they both agree that they need some help working them out, but he is procrastinating or lacking confidence, or being "overly private" and hasn't taken a step to get that help?
Answer
1. You can start by making an observation about the behavior that you are concerned about, for example I noticed that lately you seem to have difficulty coping with the amount of stress in your life. You can say that sometimes it is helpful to talk to outside person who can be objective and give feedback or a person who can teach you skills on how to deal with stress. It might be helpful to make the initial contact with the professional and perhaps accompany the family member or friend to the first session. Often times people’s misconceptions about counseling create a lot of anxiety. Providing information about what to expect from the counseling process can reduce the anxiety. If you know anybody that has benefited from counseling, that person might be able to encourage your friend or family member to try counseling.
2. In my experience, the wife often initiate counseling and will meet with me individually because her husband is not willing to come in. After a couple of sessions I invite the husband to join us so that I can get his perspective. I explain to him that I don’t want to be biased and that I need to hear how the situation is from his perspective. What usually happens is that husband the husband will join us from time to time but may not participate in every single session. In such cases, the wife can learn some skills to apply at home and the husband is actually benefiting from the marriage counseling, even though he is not necessarily in every session.
Name
Brother No. 1
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Profession
Question
What is the status of the Mother in Islam and what is the basic familly structure?
Answer
Some examples of the level that Allah (SWT) has raised the status of the mother include the Ayahs (verses) that describe the mother’s pregnancy and the difficulties that she endures and the husband’s responsibility in being supportive. Most of us are familiar with the famous Hadith in which a man asked the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, “Who is most worthy of my companionship.” Three times the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, answered, “Your mother.” And the forth time he responded by saying, “Your father.”
In my opinion the mother should always remember the importance of their role in forming the personalities of future generations of Muslims. Often times women feel that they should be doing something more “worthy” such as, working outside of the home, or perusing a “career”. We don’t see the impacts of the day-to-day nurturing of our children until years later. And we may not feel that we are doing anything significant. But providing a loving-faith environment is a prerequisite for a healthy child. Remember also, that it is the first three years of a child’s life that determines, to a large extent, the personality that he/she will have for the rest of their lives.
Name
Aicha
-
Profession
Question
What if the kids are educated more with their grandparents than with their parents because of financial need that the woman needs to work ?
Answer
We are sorry but we did not understand exactly what you meant in your question. Please resubmit your question if possible.
Name
Howy
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Profession
Question
Is there any special role that brothers and sisters play in the Islamic scheme?
Answer
Each one of us, regardless of whether we are male or female, is a “khalifah”, or representative, of Allah (SWT) on this earth. And we are all equally accountable for living His message and spreading it by practicing Islam as we interact with others at all levels of society. I think that everybody has to find the way that they are most comfortable with in making their contribution to this great effort. For many women, they will feel most comfortable in a traditional role such as, mother, teacher, etc. Other women may be comfortable and talented in making their contribution at a political level in some other leadership position. I don’t think that there is any one right way for a person, male or female, to fulfill their responsibility as a “khalifah” provided that we adhere to the teachings of Allah (SWT) and the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. It is helpful to look at the glorious history of Islam to see the varied roles that men and women played in society.
