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Answer
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Name
Laila Rana
- Canada
Profession
-
Question
As salamu 'alaykum.
I have read with interest about the Islamic Children's Charter. I read in Article 27 that children have the right to protection from violence and abuse, even from parents. While I agree with this, I would ask you please to provide some references from Qur'an or Hadith. I know of Muslim children who have been severely physically abused by parents, who justify it in the name of Islam, particularly citing references where the parents are to be unquestioningly obeyed. What are the specific references in defense of the children? May Allah continue to bless your good work.
Laila (Canada)
Answer
Bismillah Ar-rahman Ar-rahim.
Sister Laila thank you for being careful about reading the Charter. The Charter was formulated by a number of outstanding Muslim scholars. They used evidence from the Qur'an and Sunnah and biographies of the prophet. It gives people who are responsible for raising the child their basis for practicing their 'right' to education. A child has a right to education.
International agreements deprive it of this right to education and consider any kind of direction or discipline 'violence against the child". The original rule is educating the child and teaching it. On the contrary in the west, government bodies provide protection for weird behavioral patterns which causes children to slip away from the.
The Charter emphasizes the balance between the authority of the family and preventing the abuse of such authority. The religious rule gives the father or whoever is responsible for raising the child the right to discipline the child within certain regulations so that it will not reach the extent of harming the child physically or psychologically or using that right tyrannically.
Name
hoda
- Egypt
Profession
mother
Question
As salamu 'alaykum
I was shocked about what seems to a conspiracy against the family structure when I looked at the United Nations so-called 'Convention on the Rights of the Child'.
As a parent, I will not be able to:
Teach them religion
Teach them manners
Agree or disagree about their friends
Interfere with their “sexual” life choices and “patterns”
I can't tell my boy abotu 'manhood' or my girl about womanhood as 'they' say this interferes with their “free sexual orientation”
If I can't do any of this then should I call my self a parent? The word \parent' then has no meaning. What can we do as people to protect our children from this global conspiracy especially when our country has already signed these deals...
Answer
My dear sister Hoda
I wish all Muslims would be aware of this international conspiracy against the family structure and not drift behind those bright slogans which speak day and night of children and children's rights and violence against children. Those who carry these slogans are the same ones who kill children in Palestine and Iraq and others.
It is tarbi'ah in the first and second and third place too. Education and upbringing are the only means to protect our children from that violent wave of "globalization of western values" in the world.
There is a very important point to pay attention to: The media. The media is a tool employed in the hands of governments. Whenever there is a plan to launch a new law, the media starts collecting strange and abnormal cases and put them in the spotlight like you highlight a stain in a dress so the whole dress appears like a big dirty stain. Then the law is phrased and formulated.
Right now some amendments have been suggested to the child law which are all derived from international agreements that are meant to "curb" parents and prevent them from educating their children. Does it make sense to think that parents in the Muslim world do nothing, but severely beat their children?
This is the role of the media which focuses constantly on this issue. Some films and TV serials show the father and mother as very harsh and invoke stereotypes that nurture the viewers' sympathy to prepare them psychologically for accepting the new law. In Islamic countries, the 'hotline' service was initiated as in the west to make it easy for a son to complain about his parents if they try to discipline him or her.
We should follow the Sunnah in raising our children and as the prophet's cousin 'Ali advised us "play with your child for seven [years], and discipline it seven, and befriend at seven…" but do we do that? Or do we only try to teach them discipline and insist on that only then we are forced to resort to beating as a final and last solution when all our attempts fail.
The beating must be light and leave no marks on the body and the aim of it is to make the child sense that the father or mother are not happy with it. That's why parents should not use beating when they are outraged. In that case they would better control their anger and explain to the child the reason for beating it. A son that gets used to having discussions from his early days will never reach the stage of beating, and I say this from personal experience and others' experiences as well. If we make a right start, playing then discipline.
Name
karine
- United Kingdom
Profession
Question
As salamu 'alaykum,
A father who encourages and tolerates a non-Islamic environment for the children, allows most haram things and accused his wife for pushing the children to religion. While the children were small, they used to pray and be more obedient but the father has a bigger influence on them because of his lay- back personality and they get away with everything with him.
A teenage girl would return home at 1 or 2 in the morning and the father says let her enjoy her life and trust her. She asked for khul, divorce by the wife? Is this a valid reason for divorce. She does not feel and think she can be in such an environment where so much haram even while praying sometime there is no peace. And basically make fun of the mum because of her strong faith. What would you suggest?
Answer
Divorce is scaring, so much that the throne of God shakes for it. It has a negative impact on children. She must use all means and be kind to him in humility and be loving and not fall short of any of his rights.
She had better stay away from the direct approach to break his severity in treating her and her children and so that he won't be bored with her directions and so that her children will adopt this Islamic way of upbringing because they are facing the culture of a whole society and not the father only. The whole society is pushing in the direction of giving children absolute freedom. So the immunity must be self provided.
Name
HOSNY
- Egypt
Profession
Question
What is this phrase we keep hearing from the UN about “sexual and reproductive rights” do they mean (by any way ) to let our children to be gays or lesbians. Or just to marry whom they love?
Answer
Brother Hosni, this term is very dangerous and your question is very important. The battle now is a battle of terms and the UN uses very elastic terms. For their purpose they take the gradual approach. First they make the governments sign agreements that include these terms and allows them to understand in whatever way they wish to. The term recurs many times until there becomes no reservation about it.
Then there is the follow up and questioning by the UN according to their own English version of the documents. Governments then introduce a non-provoking definition so that people will get used to it then the real definition starts appearing gradually. Reproductive health for example is what follows:
1- Teaching safe sex or protected sex at schools, that is how to have sexual intercourse and avoid pregnancy using contraceptives for teenagers and children at schools.
2- Providing contraceptives for free or for small prices. In the west, schools make sure girls have it in their bags.
3- Permitting abortion and making it legal to get rid of undesired pregnancy. So abortion becomes legal and operations can be done at clinics and hospitals. Of course these constituents haven't risen to the surface yet, but other preludes have. For example Goodwill Ambassadors go to schools and teach children sex education (which was published in a newspaper). One of the NGOs which receive foreign funding visited a school in a rural area and met the students (of course after teachers left the class) and distributed condoms among them with some explanation on how to use it. I was informed of this by an authentic source in one of the villages in Upper Egypt. Or a car that gives condoms for whoever asks for free.
It is not only governments that implement the policies of the UN, NGOs which rely on the UN and its funds are also involved and they have more freedom to work than the governments.
Name
Sama
- Egypt
Profession
Question
Can you mention a few of the recommendations from the charter?
Thank you
Answer
The Charter doesn't present recommendations, but items that clarify the rights and duties of a child. They are on the website: http://www.iicwc.org/english/iicwc/Researches/charter/methk_00_0.htm , from which there are some abstracts below:
The Islamic Children's Charter
Chapter One: The Concern for Children From the Beginning of the Formation of the Family
Article 1
A. Children are a divine blessing and an innate human need.
B. Sharî‘ah (Islamic law) encourages the pursuit of progeny for the
preservation of the human race.
C. Thus, Sharî‘ah prohibits the sterilization of men and women or removal of the uterus (hysterectomy) except in cases of medical necessity as it also prohibits all means that hamper the continuity of humanity.
D. It is the right of every child to come into life by way of legitimate marriage between a man and a woman.
Article 2
A. The care of Islamic Sharî‘ah for children includes the following stages:
1. Selection of each spouse by the other.
2. The period of pregnancy and birth.
3. From birth until discretion (the stage at which the child is unable to discriminate between affairs).
4. From discretion until puberty (the stage at which the child is able to discriminate between affairs).
B. With each of these stages, the child shall become entitled to certain rights appropriate to that stage.
Article 3
The family is the nest for the child and the natural environment necessary for his care and upbringing. It is also the first school in which human, moral, spiritual, and religious values are instilled in the child.
Article 4
A. The child shall have the right upon his parents that each should make the optimal selection in choosing his partner according to the standards of Islamic Sharî‘ah by which the interests of the nation and family in general, and the child in particular, are realized.
B. Adherence to the religion and compatibility are among the criteria that should be applied at the time of spousal selection.
C. The criteria also stipulates that both spouses should be free from repugnant, contagious, or serious, genetic diseases.
Chapter Two: Freedoms and General Human Rights
Article 5
A. The child shall have the inherent right, from the time of its formation as an embryo, to life, survival, and development.
B. Abortion of the embryo/fetus is prohibited unless the life of the mother is exposed to certain danger that cannot be avoided except by abortion.
C. The embryo/fetus shall have the right to receive health care and suitable nutrition through care for his pregnant mother
D. It is generally prohibited to harm the embryo/fetus, and whoever assaults it should be punished.
Article 6
The child shall have the right, at the time of his birth, that his parents give him a good name, demonstrate happiness and joy for his arrival, and congratulations and celebration for his birth. Islamic Sharî‘ah commands that boys and girls be dealt with equally in such matters and prohibits displeasure with girls or harming them in any way.
Article 7
The child shall have the right to maintain his identity, which includes: his name, nationality, family relations, language, and culture, as well as his religious and cultural affiliation.
Article 8
Islamic Sharî‘ah prohibits any type of differentiation or discrimination between children, irrespective of the child’s or his or her parent’s, or legal guardian’s race, color, sex, nationality, language, religion, political opinion, national or ethnic or social origin, property, disability, place of birth, or other status through which such discrimination is manifested.
Article 9
The child shall have the right to enjoy the highest attainable standard of health. Also, he shall have the right to utilize facilities for the prevention and treatment of illness and rehabilitation of health.
Article 10
The child shall have the right to be treated by his parents and others with compassion and justice in a way that achieves his interests.
Article 11
The child shall have the right to enjoy his childhood. As such, he should not be deprived of his right to rest, to enjoy his leisure time, and to engage in play and recreational activities. Also he should be allowed to freely participate in the cultural and artistic life in a manner that is appropriate to the age of the child and that preserves his personal identity.
Article 12
A. The child shall have the right, within the limitations of Sharî‘ah and the law, to freedom of thought, conscience, and to adopt a religion.
B. Parents and those with legal responsibility for care of the child, shall have rights and duties to provide direction to the child to exercise his right in a manner consistent with the evolving capacities of the child and his actual interests.
Article 13
A. The child shall have the right to freedom of expression.
B. This right shall include the freedom to seek all types of information and upright ideas that do not contradict the principles of morals, religion, and patriotism, as well as the freedom to receive and impart information and ideas of all kinds; whether through speech, writing, forms of art, or any other media befitting the circumstances and mental abilities of the child.
C. The child who is capable of forming his own opinions shall have the right to freely express those opinions in all issues relevant to him. The opinions of the child shall be given due weight in accordance with the age, maturity, and actual interests of the child.
D. This freedom shall only be limited by respect for the rights or reputations of others, protection of national security, public order, public health, or public decency.
Chapter Three: Rights of Personal Affairs
Article 14
A. The child shall have the right to have his parentage attributed to his actual parents.
B. Accordingly, all actions that cause difficulty in determining the parentage of the child shall be prohibited (such as renting of the womb, etc).
C. The provisions of Islamic Sharî‘ah shall be followed in confirmation of the parentage.
Article 15
The infant shall have the right to be nursed by his mother unless such nursing conflicts with the interests of the child or the health of the mother.
Article 16
A. The child shall have the right to have someone to take charge of his custody, to care for and raise him, and provide for his physical and psychological needs. The mother has the most right to custody of the child according to Islamic Sharî‘ah.
B. The system of custody for children shall include orphans, foundlings, children with special needs, refugees, those who are deprived either temporarily or permanently of their family environment, and those who are forcibly expelled, etc.
C. Islamic Sharî‘ah does not permit the system of adoption; however, it secures rights of social care for children in all its forms.
D. All institutions of the society, including the state, shall provide necessary support and services to assist women who have custody of children in fulfilling their responsibilities.
E. The two parents are the primary custodians, and children shall not be separated from them, or from one of them, except when there is a preponderant necessity to do so. Necessity shall be evaluated according to its magnitude.
F. Both parents are responsible for consultation between them regarding care of the child, his interests and living conditions. They may resort to the competent organizations providing social care or to the judiciary if necessary, in order to achieve such care and accomplish such interests.
G. Experts, as well as judicial, social, and medical specialists shall evaluate the interests of the child according to his individual circumstances.
And much more>>>
Name
layla
-
Profession
Question
What is the Islamic Charter for Children? And what does it add to the already present Conventions?
Answer
International agreements focus primarily on the rights of the child and do not mention any duties. They impose one viewpoint which is the western viewpoint.
These agreements force the empowerment of children to make decisions in matter that concern them ignoring the relationship of their rights to their parents. In fact international agreements, cancel parental rights when they gave children sexual freedom.
At the same time international agreements prohibits marriage under 18 since all those under 18 are considered children. That is, it pushes in the direction of allowing sex and prohibiting marriage under 18. But the Islamic Children's Charter tackles both the rights and duties.
Islamic Children's Charter focuses on the role of parents and their duties towards their children starting from the choice of a spouse, the stage before the embryo then the right of the embryo in the mother's womb. While international agreements permit abortion, and waste the right of an embryo to live. All the other items are on the website.
The main point regarding the CRC, Convention on the Rights of the Child , which was issued in 1990 is that the points we've mentioned are not clear in that document. But in 2002 the UN issued a document with an action plan that explains and the agreements and puts it into effect. It was called "A World Fit for Children" which included all I referred to and this is the policy of the UN.
Then there was gradual change. Firstly mild implicit terminology was employed, then after a few years a document appeared explaining the first one just like what happened with women issues. The Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) appeared in 1979 then in Peking 1995 the explanation and application document appeared was issued.
Name
Amina
-
Profession
Lawyer
Question
As salamu 'alaykum
How do we protect our children from negative western infuences, yet teach them how to make choices when confronted with these choices? I realize that I always want to protect my son from negative influences, but as he grows older, he will face them in society. So can we achieve a balance in this?
Answer
Social globalization has actually reached us and we see it very obviously in all media. There must be direct and frank conversation between you and your children. The basis is the friendship and dialogue between you and them. Talk to them frankly about their problems and bring up the topics yourself.
Do not wait for them to ask you because they won't ask you. They have many sources of information outside:
the Net
friends,
satellite channels & mobiles
School
Start with them yourself about puberty and growing up and the relationship between girls and boys, the rights and wrongs of it. When you open up on these topics and take the initiatives you win them to your side as friends and win their trust. Then they would open their hearts to you.
Watch television with them and criticize the content without fanaticism. Make sure you show the negative side of western civilization due to the permissiveness and limitless freedom. They have widespread sexually transmitted diseases, and the youth avoid marriage because of sexual freedom, or marriage with sexual freedom with others. The number of illegal births are constantly increasing.
Try to imagine with him the feelings of an illegal child when they don’t know who their parent, how their friends know their fathers and live with him, how he would have hostile feelings towards society, how it would be a burden to society and how it would deal with his own children. Tell them that at the same time society respects families and encourages benevolence to parents so that the children imagine themselves as parents or grandparents and see their lovely families around them loving them in return. This warm family atmosphere is mostly missing in the western society because youth do not seek marriage because of the widespread practice of illegal relationships and adultery.
Name
Host
-
Profession
Answer
Finally, we would like to thank Kamelia Helmy for taking the time to answer the questions of Islamonline viewers today, and we also thank all those who participated in this dialogue. We apologize for not being able to accommodate all the questions within the time allocated to this session. Look out for upcoming sessions.
