[Islam-Online- Society]

Wedding customs throughout the Islamic world are fascinating. For instance, in contrast to most Arab countries, Muslim women in Fattani, Thailand, take care of all wedding expenses, arrangements and home preparations. The bride even buys the wedding suit for the groom. In Java, Indonesia, the bride hosts the groom in her family's house for a three-month honeymoon during which he is not allowed to do any kind of work, concentrating only on his wife's happiness. In Yemen, as soon as the bride steps into her marital house, the groom steps on her foot. If she withdraws her foot immediately before he is able to step on it, that means management of the house is her's, without a doubt. However, if the groom steps on her foot, this means that he is the master of the house.

To present this diversity in wedding habits, we are presenting this series on some Muslim communities and their customs. This week, we are featuring Tajikistan and Ethiopia. Watch for more features in the weeks to come. It should be said that these are cultural customs of the Islamic world, not Islamic religious practices.

Tajikistan: The Famous Bukhari Rice
The most unusual thing about weddings in Tajikistan is that brides do not like gold, which contrasts with the trend in many other parts of the Islamic world. If the bride gets any gold, this is usually limited to no more than a ring. The selection and engagement processes are also fascinating. The groom determines the house he wants to marry from. He goes with his mother to see his potential wife, to meet her and talk to her in front of her family. If he seems to like her, he usually recites a short speech memorized by all young men in the country. It begins with "You have to be a righteous wife. You fast, you pray, you know how to cook and how to take care of your house…"

At this point, it becomes clear that the approval has been reached. Then the arrangements for the engagement and the wedding take place. It begins with determining the dowry and wedding expenses. In Tajikistan, it is fairly simple. The father of the bride asks for an amount of cotton enough to make 20 pillows, and 30 different sizes of mattresses. In addition, he asks for 160,000 to 320,000 Tajik Rubles, equivalent to $100 to $200. Other arrangements deal with food and drinks to be presented to the wedding guests. Usually, the father of the bride asks for the following ingredients, all necessary to make the most well known meal in Tajikistan, Bukhari rice. He requires the groom to bring the following to the bride's house:
    -    A big, fat cow
    -    Five sacks of rice
    -    100 kilograms of carrots
    -    50 liters of oil
    -    20 kilograms of onions
    -    20 kilograms of raisins

After the father of the bride finishes his preparation demands, the mother of the bride also prepares a list of demands and gives it to the groom. The list includes fabrics needed to making the bride's clothes. When they complete this part of the preparations, they decide on the wedding date. Usually, it falls on Saturday or Sunday because those are the holidays. The guests come to the bride's house and celebrate, eating and drinking from 8am to 3pm, and then they take the bride to the groom's house.

Ethiopia: Drinking Buttermilk As A Sign Of Approval

Muslim marriage ceremonies in Ethiopia are centered on a display of generosity. Usually after the declaration of engagement, the groom sends a milking cow to the bride's house. The mother collects the milk to make some butter that will be presented to the groom on the wedding night.

Yassin Ahmad Ibrahim, an Ethiopian Muslim, told us about the traditions briefly. After the declaration of the initial approval between the bride and the groom, the engagement is declared in the presence of the tribal leaders and the Sheikhs. The mother of the bride hands the groom buttermilk to drink. This is a sign of her approval and satisfaction with the future husband of her daughter. During the engagement period, the groom comes under the service of the bride's father. He helps him in any type of work that he made need or want to be assisted in.

The mother of the bride stores honey, wheat and many different items for her daughter during the engagement period. On the wedding day, the father of the bride presents cows, sheep, honey, wheat and many other treats, demonstrating to the crowd what he has prepared for his daughter. The notables and the tribal leaders reply to this by showing their acceptance.

Then the bride walks to her house, where food is served. However, the groom eats only from a special dish prepared by the mother of the bride, again as a sign of approval. She also offers buttermilk to him as well as to his closest friends. When she offers the buttermilk, the groom takes it, then hands her coffee seeds. He also gives an amount of money to the cousin and the aunt of the bride. Towards the end of the ceremony, guests line up in two lines, through which the bride walks toward her new home in an atmosphere of singing and chanting

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