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Goals and Purpose of Marriage
By Dr. Aisha Hamdan.
All of us need a reminder. As such, this article is written specifically for those who have been recently married. While you may already know much of what is being written below, it may well be beneficial for all of us to revisit some of the important points about the goals and the purpose of marriage in Islam .
Remember at the outset that the beauty of the marriage contract, fulfilled according to Islamic law, unites a believing man and a believing woman as husband and wife. These two believers will live together, support one another, and be bound by specific rights and obligations. As enjoined in the Qur'an and recommended by the Prophet Muhammad (sal allahu alayhi wasallam), the couple will enjoy one another's company and focus all of their efforts towards becoming a pious family . Even after marriage, some may wonder as to the actual purpose of marriage. The husband and wife may agree on the overall concept but a brief review of some of the purposes will be beneficial. If the purpose and goals of a marriage are known and the responsibilities are understood clearly, the marriage is more likely to be successful. One of the main purposes of marriage is after all to procreate. That is, by having children through the means blessed and approved by Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala), a married couple help the Muslim nation become larger and stronger. The emphasis is always on raising righteous children who are a source of contribution to society even after the parents die. Indeed, the Prophet Muhammad (sal allahu alayhi wasallam) said, "Marry, for I shall boast on the Day of Judgment because of you (due to large numbers) ." A second purpose of marriage is to fulfill the natural desire for physical pleasure through chaste means. It is natural for human beings to have such desires. But Islam strongly encourages both men and women to restrain from any elicit behavior before marriage. Indeed, the Prophet Muhammad (sal allahu alayhi wasallam) said, "The one who is capable among you should wed, for it lowers the gaze and protects the private parts. Whoever does not have that ability should fast and that will be his shield." So important is chastity that it has been recommended that people intending to be married be given all the assistance possible so that they may do so. Indeed, we learn from our Prophet Muhammad (sal allahu alayhi wasallam) that "Three have a right upon Allah to be helped: the fighter for the sake of Allah, the slave who has contracted his freedom and intends on paying it and the one who is getting married for the sake of remaining chaste." A couple who unite in marriage to maintain and protect each other's chastity will be rewarded by Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala). In addition, it is the responsibility of the husband and wife to fulfill each others desires and the importance of this is clear as the Prophet Muhammad (sal allahu alayhi wasallam) has equated this with an act of charity. The Prophet Muhammad (sal allahu alayhi wasallam) has said, "Has not Allah made things for you to do in charity? Verily, every tasbeeha is a charity, every takbeerah is a charity, every tahmeedah is a charity, every tahleelah is a charity, ordering good is a charity, forbidding evil is a charity, and you having sexual intercourse (with your wife) is a charity." They said, "O Messenger of Allah, when one of us fulfills his desire, he will have a reward for that?" He said, "Tell me, if he were to fulfill it unlawfully, would he bear that sin? Similarly, if he fulfills it lawfully, he will have a reward ." A third purpose of marriage is to help the couple attain complete maturity together. Both husband and wife will experience many changes in their personality once they are married. Not only is this due to the increased responsibilities and roles in daily life, but also because marriage is an important institution, we usually find people taking life more seriously after marriage. A couple may especially notice the maturing process when the first child comes along. In sharing the responsibilities of the family, in joint decision-making, it is hoped that the couple will grow to understand each other better. Indeed, through mutual assistance of one another, the couple develop a partnership in constructing a sound life and in bearing responsibilities for their decisions . Marriage also results in great psychological and physiological benefits. A couple who have sincerely entered into married life will find that their hearts are rested. A rested heart strengthens ones ability to fulfill the acts of worship. Indeed, enjoying each other's company itself is a source of rest and relaxation. Both the husband and the wife may seek each other's company in times of distress. The wife, having been blessed with a pious husband who will love her and provide for her, will incline towards something in accord with her nature: to give birth to and raise the children. The husband, equally blessed with a pious and caring wife, after facing hardships in daily life, finds solace at home with his wife and children . In addition, another purpose of marriage is to bind people and families together. Think of some of the people in your life. Imagine how far apart and unknown to each other the families were before their children were married. Marriage brings together people from different families or branches of society and continuously reinforces the fundamental belief that Muslims are not to segregate based on financial status, race, color of skin, or ethnic origin. Indeed, having people of diverse backgrounds unite in marriage helps to further strengthen the community as well. In a related point, proper sexual relations between a husband and wife also benefits the community in that it helps to form the cornerstone of a moral society. Indeed, the family is the smallest and most fundamental block of society . Finally, one of the main purposes of the marriage is to help raise up a pious next generation. Parents are enjoined with the responsibility to nurture the physical, moral and spiritual growth of their children. The couple intent on having children must assess both their own physical readiness as well as the environment of the home. The newborn child will need the best environment possible for successful mental and physical development. Indeed, the marriage itself will be an example to the children. If the parents live according to Islam, the children will want to emulate similar behaviors as they grow up. 
Dr. Aisha Hamdan is a contributing writer to Islam Online. She currently serves as the director of the Islamic Education Foundation in Minnesota.
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