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Are Conferences Widening the Generation Gap?
By Altaf Husain, MSW, LSW
29/11/2000
Islamic conferences are an amazing source of rejuvenation for one’s Islamic spirits. They serve as reunions for families whose kith and kin are spread out all over North America. Old friends reunite at conferences and new friendships are made.
Long days and sleepless nights are an integral part of the program at conferences. Bargains are unbelievable, but the food leaves a lot to be desired.
Sound familiar? If not, try attending an Islamic conference soon.
Conferences serve many purposes, no doubt. The above lighthearted introduction reflects only a few aspects of the entire conference experience. Programs and activities for the youth are another important aspect.
While there have always been activities for the youth, in the past they were usually designed, implemented and, to the chagrin of many youth, even evaluated by adults. However, an interesting phenomenon has recently struck conferences – totally separate but parallel programs for both teenagers and college students that they are designing, implementing and evaluating themselves. And while there has been no empirical study to gauge the success of this latest trend, anecdotal evidence offers some interesting insights about such programs – one being that such conferences are acting to widen the generation gap.
The following dialogue between a youth and parent attempts to capture this notion.
(Y=Youth, P=Parent)
Y: Young people make up a considerable segment of the Muslims in North America, yet programs at masjids and Islamic centers rarely address the issues that we are concerned about.
P: You kids do not even come to the masjid, so the majority of the programs at the masjid are developed for those over 35. Besides, since we are all learning Islam, we should all be interested in the same topics.
Y: Perhaps so, but even when the topics are interesting to us, most of the speakers do not present their subject matter in a way that we can understand and relate to it. We are always left out.
P: So why doesn’t your youth group put on their own programs? Isn’t “Uncle Board” helping you all work on that?
Y: That’s the problem – even though we have our own youth group, we get advised too much by adult advisors and board members. We should be allowed to design, implement, and evaluate our own programs.
P: So what’s stopping you all? I doubt the parents would try to stop you if you went ahead.
Y: Well, because we have limited space and facilities in the masjid, everyone ends up coming to our programs. So it seems that conferences are the best opportunity for us to break free, and have our own programs… in separate rooms, with our own speakers sometimes.
P: Why are you all insisting so much on separate programs? Did Prophet Muhammad (SAW) ever separate people according to their ages? Then why should we allow the youth to have parallel programs?
I think you all should be made to learn alongside your parents and other community members. Besides, what kind of learning goes on when you are being taught by other young people?
Y: Separate programs at conferences are crucial – for several reasons. Like I said before, it’s not very exciting to listen to someone who is basically speaking to adults. And what’s even worse is the speaker who is not even prepared!
P: But do you really expect speakers to address topics that are only of interest to youth?
Y: Well, listening to topics that are not about issues we face everyday is not very interesting to most of us.
P: Why not? Most of the speakers are very knowledgeable and very interested in talking to young people.
Y: It’s not easy, when you’ve spent seven hours in school listening to teachers without accents who speak fluent English, to listen to someone with a thick English accent give a lecture on Islam.
P: It’s not fair to criticize a person’s accent.
Y: Well, part of it is their accent, but it’s also their overall presentation. Even when the speaker has a bearable accent, there is the drawback that they probably won’t really address the topic they’re supposed to be speaking about. Instead, they usually wander from their topic so much that sometimes they cannot even recover.
P: So is that is all you want? A speaker with good English skills? And then you’ll be satisfied?
Y: Well, not really. Suppose the speaker has great English skills, does address the topic, and stays within their allotted time, there is still usually another dilemma. They will probably use phrases and examples that confuse us more than they clarify the topic.
P: So just what do you expect from speakers? They cannot possibly know all the cool ways you all talk.
Y: Worse yet, speakers usually have condescending attitudes towards youth… criticizing and rebuking us for our apparent excesses, our lapses in Islamic judgment, and our lack of Islamic knowledge. This type of attitude is a sure-fire turn-off.
P: So what do you suggest?
Y: … Lectures that do not start on time and almost always run over are also turn-offs.
P: Why must you be so demanding of our community? We are doing our best to provide an Islamic environment for you kids. And we’re doing the best we can do right now.
Y: But are you really? Think about all the different professional and well-organized methods of learning… those used in schools, on television, and on video/audio tapes. When it comes to resources for learning Islamic knowledge, why should we settle for anything less? We should be as state-of-the-art as non-Muslims.
P: But when you all have your own separate programs, what kinds of things are you all discussing and being taught? If they are Islamic topics, why can’t we all hear the same things?
Y: A lot of times, we are discussing the same topics, but most of the time, we are being given valuable knowledge and advice on how to grow up Muslim in this non-Muslim environment.
P: Do you all talk about manners? About respect for your parents? Young people are not as soft in their language and their approach to dealing with their parents as they should be. Does anyone talk about those kinds of things?
Y: Actually, what usually seems harsh to parents is just the way we talk. We don’t mean any disrespect by it. That’s just the language we know. And yes, our programs do teach us to love and respect our parents, and to work on perfecting our character.
P: I think these conferences, with their separate programs, are just widening the generation gap!
Y: Well, this may come as a surprise to you, but which would you rather have? Young people attending conference programs with you who are bored, confused, and unable to apply anything they learn in real life. Or the youth attending their own programs, but learning how to develop strong Islamic identities and pride, and how to fulfill our obligations as your children.
P: But why can’t you do all of that in programs with your parents? Why must there be a gap?
Y: There may be a little gap between us because we are in different rooms, but overall, don’t you think that temporary spatial gap is preferable to a more permanent generation gap?
Editor’s Note: If you would like to submit your own comments about Islamic conferences, please write to
society@islam-online.net.
If you would like counseling to help deal with a generation gap in your family, submit your request to:
www.islamonline.net/questionapplication/english/question.asp
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