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Making the Most of ‘Eid-ul Fitr
By Altaf Husain, MSW, LSW
Amina Husain
30/12/2000
It seems unbelievable, but by the time this article is posted and available for your reading pleasure, the blessed month of Ramadhan will have ended. Although the ideal way to spend Ramadhan is by practicing different forms of ibadat, several factors may have kept you from fully enjoying the blessings and the bounties of Ramadhan. Your work day may have not ended by iftar time, or worse yet, you might have spent much of the iftar time stuck in rush hour traffic.
Your younger children may have started their winter holidays during this Ramadhan. If you are a college student, you might have spent most of Ramadhan juggling cramming for final exams, a totally changed eating and sleeping schedule, and salaatul taraweeh. And yet, others of us may have been able to actually request vacation time to spend the last ten days of Ramadhan in ‘itikaaf. Regardless of how we spent Ramadhan, we need to do our best to make the most of eid ul-fitr for our families.
Happy Holidays?
This year, the major holidays of Islam, Christianity and Judaism are only a few days apart. While much of the attention is no doubt on Christmas, the term happy holidays has come to be sort of a compromise between saying Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and insha’allah very soon, ‘Eid Mubarak! The expression ‘happy holidays’ is also a reflection of how secularism impacts social terminology. Although the word ‘holiday’ is rooted in a Christian expression, i.e. ‘holy day,’ today it is being used to describe various vacation periods throughout the year that have no religious significance. Saying ‘happy holidays’ also serves as a buffer between the one saying and the one it is being said to.
Americans have relegated religion to a place outside the bonds of friendship to the extent that at the workplace, school or college, their is even little effort exerted to learn more about each other’s religious celebrations. The importance of religious observances of any kind is then minimized and we are left with a very dry, unemotional, commercial-like sound reverberating from each “Happy Holidays” that is exchanged! As Muslims, we need to be careful that our sincere greeting of Eid Mubarak does not lose its meaning by becoming encompassed in the all too generic greeting, Happy Holidays. Even if we are greeted with phrases such as “Happy Eid” or “Merry Eid”, we should do our best to maintain the traditional eid greetings such as “Eid Mubarak” or “Eid Karim”.
The Day of ‘Eid
Popular singer, Dawud Wharsnby Ali composed a beautiful song, whose main chorus is “These are the days of ‘eid, say takbir where ever you are.’ We know from the example of the Prophet Muhammad (sal allahu alayhi wasallam) various etiquettes of welcoming the days of ‘eid. In making preparations for the ‘eid celebration, it is becoming increasingly common to attend celebrations at the community level. This is an excellent idea and strengthens the bonds between families throughout the community. However, a much smaller community, the immediate family, somehow seems to be receiving lesser attention with time. On the day of ‘eid, it is important to plan an activity for the immediate family and establish it as a kind of tradition.
Some families have tried to hold a family meeting at home immediately following the ‘eid prayer. While this would be the most ideal setting, it is usually not possible to return home due to either the community celebration already being at the place of the ‘eid prayer or because of various invitations to visit homes of relatives and friends.
Plan a very simple and yet formal family meeting at the end of the day. The goal is not to stress out the entire family in trying to squeeze this ‘eid meeting into the hustle and bustle of the ‘eid celebration. Nor should we try to plan something so elaborate as to require extensive preparation time. What seems suitable for your family members? Are most of you conversationalists? Sharing some dessert at the dinner table or in the family room should help spark some interesting conversations. The key is not to over-emphasize that every member must speak.
And yet, the creative catalyst should be able to draw each family member into the conversation. Steer away from political debates unless you are very good at setting guidelines and enforcing them. Most of all, let the family meeting begin and end on a note of gratitude to Allah (swt) for the countless blessings He has bestowed on your family. Lastly, the day of ‘eid offers an excellent opportunity to help the children understand the significance of charitable acts. Your entire family could visit a community member in the hospital, donate money to your local masjid, and make and deliver gift packets to needy Muslim families
A Memorable ‘Eid and Beyond
Sometimes we take it for granted that our children will know and understand the significance of the two ‘eids. Depending on the ages of your children, it will be worthwhile for you to take some time to explain the significance to them. It is very important to ensure that the children know what they are celebrating, how to celebrate, and how not to celebrate the two ‘eids. The day of ‘eid should be a special day for the entire family and more so for the younger children. Insha’allah, as they grow up, they will retain a rich bank of memorable ‘eid celebrations.
Finally, we must try our best to emerge from the month of Ramadhan spiritually recharged. Ramadhan instills in all of us certain habits that we can maintain throughout the upcoming months. After the fasts of shawwal, we can encourage our families to observe the voluntary fasts on Mondays and Thursdays. Perhaps once a month, we can plan to wake up an hour or so before fajr and observe the voluntary tahajjud prayers. We can continue to encourage generosity in giving and sharing with those who are in need. Since Ramadhan is not only about abstaining from food and drink, we can continue to remind each other to exercise good behaviors like restraining from gossip and backbiting and suppressing our anger. Indeed, no other month is full of blessings such as Ramadhan for we benefit from it both during the days of fasting and even for months beyond.
Editor’s Note: If you have ideas for making the most of ‘eid celebrations, please send them to:
society@islam-online.net.
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